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Wilder,   M.    P. 

Smiling    »  round  tlie 
world 


Picturesque  Advertising  in  Colombo 


LIBRARY  G,- 
WALT  DISNEY  SI' 


SMILING  'ROUND 

THE 
WORLD 


MARSHALL  P. WILDER 

Author 

V\^ 

"  The  Sunny  Side  of  the  Street "  _»   f"1 

and  "People  I've  Smiled  With  "    Q(f\' 


" 


OX- 


Illustrated 


FUNK  6-  WAGNALLS  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK.  -  LONDON 

1908 


Copyright,  1908,  by 

FUNK   &   WAGNALLS    COMPANY 

Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 

Published  May,   1908 


URIS 


Dedicated 

ro 

Sophie,  My  Wife 


INTRODUCTION 

WHEN  I  was  a  small  boy,  the  world,  if  I  stopped 
to  think  about  it,  seemed  not  only  as  big  as  I  could 
see  from  sky-line  to  sky-line,  but  it  went  off  into 
still  further  space — stretching  away  and  away  into 
unfathomable  distance,  the  thought  of  which  made 
my  breath  come  and  go,  and  little  shivers  run  up 
and  down  my  back.  Then  I  got  scared,  and  con- 
cluded it  was  about  time  to  go  and  tease  the  cat,  or 
put  snuff  on  the  stove,  or  indulge  in  some  other  of 
the  amenities  by  which  boys  sweeten  existence  for 
their  elders. 

As  I  got  bigger,  the  world  got  smaller,  but  not 
in  proper  ratio.  I  didn't  get  big  enough,  and  the 
world  still  stretched  from  horizon  to  horizon.  I 
bridged  part  of  the  distance — at  times — but  always 
came  back  to  the  starting-point  with  the  feeling 
that  the  job  was  incomplete.  So,  one  fine  day,  I 
made  up  my  mind  that  I  must  see  what  lay  beyond 
those  baffling  horizons;  and  the  only  way  to  get 
'round  them  both  was  to  go  in  a  circle.  Hence  this 
trip — of  many  moons  and  many  miles.  Hence  this 
book — of  many  jests  and  many  smiles;  offered  as 
something  better  than  a  mere  bagatelle  of  humor; 
perhaps  a  solace,  a  compensation — who  can  tell? 
3 


INTRODUCTION 

For  there  is  a  compensation  in  everything,— even  to 
the  man  who  was  blessed  with  a  disorderly  wife. 
No  matter  how  much  everything  was  at  sixes  and 
sevens  in  the  house,  and  nothing  in  its  rightful 
place,  he  could  always  get  up  in  the  middle  of  the 
night  and  put  his  hand  on  the  fly-paper,  without 
ever  having  to  strike  a  match. 
Merrily  yours, 

MABSHALL  P.  WILDER. 


Thanks  are  due  to  the  Eastman  Kodak  Company  for  privi- 
leges granted  to  the  author. 


CONTENTS 


I.    ACROSS  THE  CONTINENT  -  19 

"Besting"  Fate— The  Undertaker  and  the 
Doctors — The  Irishman's  Bird — How  we 
Missed  the  Grand  Canon — Lunch-counter 
Ethics — The  Lady  from  County  Down — 
"George,  have  you  Seen  my  Maid?" — 
How  I  Milked  the  Cow — The  Gila  Monster 
— The  One  Place  that  is  Hotter  than  Hades 
— She  was  Afraid  of  Me  and  the  Evil  Eye 
—The  "Mongolia"  is  There. 

II.    ON  THE  PACIFIC      -  -      42 

A  Double  Send-off — Chinese  Service — Sa- 
loon Boys  and  Their  Attire — We  Are  Intro- 
duced to  "Pidgin-English" — How  to  Cap- 
ture a  Chair — The  Boatswain  Playing  Pan- 
Tan — Pretty  Chinese  at  Her  Devotions — 
"Sky  Pilot"  Brings  Bad  Luck— Captain 
Drops  Sunday — My  First  Ocean  Trip — 
Leper  Island  and  Father  Damien — Wel- 
comed by  the  Naval  Boys. 

III.    HAWAII  -      56 

We  Are  Garlanded  with  Wreaths  of  Wel- 
come— My  First  Experience  as  a  Chauffeur 
— Luncheon  Amid  the  Palms — We  See  the 
Sights  of  the  Town — Stump  Speakers  in 
the  Vernacular — Lovely  Pali — "One-Finger 
Poi '  '—The  Aquarium — Surf -Biding— Phe- 
nomenal Eice  Crops — Imported  Labor — 
Japanese  Invasion — Captain  Cook's  Monu- 
ment—How "Bill"  Swore  Off— My  Poetic 
Friend,  Charley  Stoddard — How  I  Strug- 

5 


CONTENTS 

gled  with  the  Architecture  of  the  Hawaiian 
Language — My  Good  Friend,  Lieutenant- 
Qovernor  Atkinson — The  Handsome  Bache- 
lor of  the  Islands — Fire-Drill — Approaching 
the  Shores  of  Japan. 

IV.    JAPAN      -  -      79 

Yeddo  Bay — Sacred  Fujiyama— The  Fall 
of  the  Great  Official — Taking  Tempera- 
tures— Mountain  Pilgrims — Tattooed  Sam- 
pan Bowers — Grand  Hotel,  Yokohama — Man- 
ager Eppinger — Captain  Da  vies'  Kindness 
and  Courtesy  to  Us — Biding  in  a  'Bick- 
sha  —  Paymaster  McDonald  of  U.  S. 
Navy  —  Shrine  and  Tea-House  —  Accom- 
plished Madam  Fujita — Clean,  Little  Ja- 
pan— The  Japanese  Student  in  London — 
"Please  Wipe  Your  Feet" — Everything 
Small — Famous  Flower  Festivals — Japa- 
nese Art  as  a  Brainstorm — Taken  Serious- 
ly from  the  Connoisseur's  Standpoint. 

V.    SNAP  SHOTS  OP  JAPAN      -  -      99 

Streets  Overflowing  with  Life  and  Color — 
Children  as  the  Sands  of  the  Sea — Baby 
Nurses  —  Street  Venders  and  Eating- 
Stands — Continual  Baking  and  Brewing — 
Shops  Open  to  the  Street — Domestic  Life 
Seen  Through  Open  Screens — Fire-boxes — 
I  Try  to  Make  Some  Purchases — Japanese 
Money  of  an  Ancient  Vintage — Inroad  of 
American  and  European  Ideas — Marriage 
in  Japan  —  Bailroad  Travel  — ' '  Buffalo 
Bill"  and  the  Englishman — Wail  of  the 
Lost  Souls — No  Outward  Signs  of  War — 
Their  Brass  Bands — Japanese  Mother  and 
Her  Three  Sons — The  Bounty- Jumper 's 
Glass  Eye — A  Nation  of  Imitators — Belig- 
ious  Aspects  Amusing  as  Well  as  Interest- 
ing— Ancient  and  Primitive  Methods — 
Everything  Done  in  the  Hardest  Way — Evo- 
lution of  the  New  Japan. 


CONTENTS 
VI.    THE  EMPEROR'S  BIRTHDAY  -    118 

A  Holiday  for  All  Japan — Streets  a  Mass 
of  Color  —  Tiny  Human  Butterflies  —  A 
Courteous  Crowd — Eight  Thousand  Troops 
in  Line — Gold-lace  Diplomats — The  Crown 
Prince  is  Greeted  with  Shouts — Emperor 
with  Reverent  Silence — His  Face  not  His 
Fortune — "Ole  Hats!"— Big  Wigs  Swap 
Stories — Banquet  in  Imperial  Palace — Jap- 
anese Editorial — Ambassador  Griscom  and 
His  Charming  Wife — Stars  and  Stripes 
Float  over  Shabbiest  Buildings. 

VII.    VISIT    TO    A    JAPANESE    THEATER, 

TOKYO          128 

Theater  of  Old  Japan  Now  Merely  Leg- 
endary— We  Set  Out  for  the  Theater— To- 
kyo a  City  of  Magnificent  Distances — 
Whirled  in  a  'Eicksha — Street  Signs — Open 
Shops — Shrill  Horn  of  the  Candy  Seller — 
Paper  Lanterns  for  Practical  Use — Soft 
Minor  Note  of  the  Blind  Masseur — Perfect 
Stage  Setting — Takata,  Great  Woman  Im- 
personator— Danjiro,  Most  Famous  Female 
Impersonator — Actors '  Private  Curtains — 
Wonderful  Audience  —  Everybody  Smo- 
king— Paddy  and  the  Trombone — Children 
Everywhere — Sata,  the  Great  Actor — No 
Lack  of  Fine  Acting — Must  be  "Letter 
Perfect"  in  Three  Days — Orchestra  and 
Electric  Lights — Fortunate  in  Seeing  First 
Performance  of  Modern  Plays. 

A  GLANCE  AT  THE  JAPANESE  FIRE 
AND  POLICE  DEPARTMENTS  -        -    140 

The  Watchman  and  His  Clanking  Sword — 
Primitive  Fire-House  Methods — Only  Three 
Steam-Engines  in  Yokohama — Hitched  Up 
After  Alarm  is  Sent  in — Fires  Get  Tremen- 
dous Headway — Easy  Jump  from  Low 
Buildings — Whole  Outfit  Seems  Like  a  Toy 

7 


CONTENTS 

— I  Get  a  Permit  and  Visit  a  Police  Station 
— School  for  .lu-jutftu — Fine  Exhibition  of 
Wrestling — Troupe  of  Traveling  Amazon 
Wrestlera — Broadway  Squad  Might  Bene- 
fit— Minister  of  Justice  Gives  Me  a  Permit 
to  Visit  Sugamo  Prison,  Tokyo — "I  am  an 
American,  and  Glad  of  It" — Nat  Good- 
win's Dog — Watch  Five  Corridors  at  Once 
—Chaplain  Exhorts — Well  Fed,  Well  Taken 
Care  of,  and  Certainly  Contented — Impris- 
onment in  Japan  not  the  Worst  Thing 
Could  Befall  a  Man. 

IX.    FIRST  IMPRESSIONS  OP  CHINA  -        -   '152 

Harbor  at  Mouth  of  Yang-tse-Kiang — An- 
cient Junk — Fish-Net  Begging — The  Bund 
— Oriental  Paris — Chinese  Jaunting-Car — 
Porker  Takes  a  Bide — Recruits  Drill  with 
Sand — Bronze  Statues  are  Sikh  Policemen — 
Three  Cities  in  One — American  Consul-Gen- 
eral  Goodnow — Mr.  George  Mooser  and  Beau- 
tiful Wife — ' '  I  'm  an  American,  but  I  speak 
English" — Same  as  when  Queen  Bess 
Reigned  —  Ancient  Walled  City  —  I  am 
Seized  by  Horrible  Chinese  Beggar — Make 
Way  for  the  Man  with  the  Burden — Foot- 
binding  Practised  by  all  Classes — Anti- 
Footbinding  Society  —  Fuchau  Road  and 
Sing-Song  Girls — Tiffin  on  the  "Monad- 
nock" — I  Entertain  the  Jackies — Street 
Pageants — ' '  Pidgin-English. ' ' 

X.    A  VISIT  TO  A  CHINESE  THEATER      -    168 

I  Compare  the  Art  of  Two  Countries — The 
Chinese  Suffer  Greatly  —  Stage  Merely 
Raised  Platform — Nerve-racking  Orches- 
tra— Refreshments  All  Round — Everybody 
Drinks  Tea — Chinese  Wife  Smokes  a  Valu- 
able Pipe — The  Demi-Monde  Get  Green 
Cups — Actors  Shriek  with  Falsetto  Voices — 
Tell  What  They  Are  Going  to  Do  Before- 

8 


CONTENTS 

hand — No  Scenery  and  Pew  Properties — 
Prances  Like  Horse — Wear  Painted  Masks — 
There  Are  No  Actresses  —  Attempt  at 
Vaudeville — She  Entertained  the  Bores — 
Preposterous  Heroes  and  Characters — Noth- 
ing Funnier  than  Chinese  Theater  Except 
Practise-Drill  of  Chinese  Soldiers. 

XI.     THE  MAJESTY  OP  THE  LAW  IN  CHINA    176 

Police  Department  Very*  Cosmopolitan — 
Mixed  Court — 'Bicksha  Inspection — I  Visit 
the  Court  and  am  Introduced  to  the  Man- 
darin Magistrate  —  He  Wears  the  Little 
Bound  Button — Police  Eun  in  Prisoners  by 
the  Cue — Sentenced  to  Certain  Number  of 
Strokes  with  the  Bamboo  —  Wearing  the 
Cangue — Attendants  Sit  on  the  Prisoner, 
While  He  Gets  One  Hundred  on  His  Bare 
Legs — In  the  Ancient  Walled  City  Terri- 
ble Cruelties  Are  Practised — The  Ling  Ghee, 
or  Hundred  Cuts — Signs  His  Own  Death- 
Warrant — Wholesale  Bribery — Execution  of 
Pirates — "My  Just  Make  Little  Squeeze!  " 
— Not  Even  Above  Blackmail. 


XII.    MANILA  :  THE  OLD  AND  THE  NEW      -    187 

Landing  of  Magellan — Drinking  Blood  Con- 
tract —  Haughty  Spaniards  —  Chinese  Pi- 
rates— Era  of  Peace — The  Silver  Galleons- 
Greedy  Dutch — Battle  of  Playa  Honda — 
Japanese  Ambassador — Eeligious  Embassy 
— Jealous  Portuguese — Spanish  Friars  Put 
to  Death  —  British  Squadron  Arrives  — 
Bombards  the  City — Great  Losses  by  the 
British — The  Peace  of  Paris— British  Em- 
bark and  Sail  for  India — Islands  Settle 
Down  Under  Spanish  Dominion — Dewey's 
Guns  Change  the  Map — My  Debt  to  an 
Accomplished  Manilian — What  the  U.  S.  A. 
Has  Done  for  Manila — Two  Centuries  of 
Dirt  Eemoved. 


CONTENTS 
XIII.    THE  MANILA  OP  TO-DAY   -  -    195 

In  Seven  Years  the  United  States  Govern- 
ment Has  Performed  Herculean  Tasks — 
Great  Filtering  Plant  —  Absolutely  Pure 
Water — Cleanest  Bill  of  Health  in  the  Uni- 
verse— Civil  as  Well  as  Military  Govern- 
ment— Admirable  Police  Force — Dollar  Has 
Lost  Its  Name — The  Universal  Conant — 
Van-Loads  of  New  Money — I  Buy  a  Pan- 
ama Hat  for  Twenty  Conant — "She  Ac- 
knowledges to  Twenty-Five ' ' — Fine  Fire  De- 
partment Built  on  New  York  Lines — Trolley 
Line — New  City  Hall  and  Laboratory — 
Beautiful  Luneta — Fine  Harbor  Works — 
Fiesta  of  the  Virgin  of  Antipolo — Flour- 
ishing Candle  Business — Popular  "Mayor" 
Brown — His  Big  Heart  and  Hospitable 
Home  —  The  Consumptive 's  Dying  Wish 
Fulfilled — I  Tell  the  Mayor  a  Story  of 
Speaker  Heed— "I  Don't  Want  the  Horse 
to  See  You!" 


XIV.    NATIVE  LIFE  IN  MANILA  -  -    211 

Costumes  Unchanged — Beautiful  Textures — 
Woven  from  Pineapple  Leaf — Put  Cigar 
in  Baby's  Mouth  for  Safe-Keeping — Men's 
Shirts  a  Mere  Thought — Chinese  Marry 
Filipino  Women  and  Become  Good  Catho- 
lics— Water  in  Standard  Oil  Cans — Cock- 
fighting  the  National  Amusement — Booster 
the  Most  Important  Member  of  the  Family 
— Housekeeping  Hard  for  Americans — In- 
competent Servants  —  Spaniards  Used  to 
Whip  Them — Domestic  Life  Among  the 
Planter  and  Merchant  Classes — Charming 
Homes  and  Happy  Hearts — Graceful  Hos- 
pitality— Their  Pleasures  and  Amusements 
— Miracle  Play — Fireworks  and  Home  to 
Bed  —  Emilio  Aguinaldo  —  His  Wings 
Clipt,  and  He  Will  Soar  no  More. 

10 


CONTENTS 
XV.    BILIBID  PRISON 222 

Tragedy  Enacted  in  the  Old  Spanish  Prison 
—  Insurrection  of  Prisoners  —  Escape  of 
Sixty  at  Malahi  Island — Winchester  Rifles 
from  the  Towers  Quash  Eevolt — Gatling  Gun 
also  Takes  a  Hand — Over  in  Five  Minutes — 
I  Visit  the  Prison  Shortly  After — Fifteen 
Killed  and  Many  Wounded — Warden  Wolf 
and  His  Assistant  Mr.  Stewart  Show  Me 
Over  the  Ancient  Prison  and  Tell  Me  Ita 
History — Houses  Largest  Number  in  the 
World  —  Forty-seven  Hundred,  and  Only 
One  Hundred  and  Fifty  Are  White — Gangs 
Sent  Out  Daily  to  Work  on  Eoads — Good 
Prison  Fare  Famous — Natives  Would  Like 
Prison  Lodging  if  Hard  Work  Did  Not  Go 
Along  with  It — American  Indifference — 
Present  Condition  of  Filipinos  Thousand- 
fold Better  than  in  Four  Centuries — Future 
Full  of  Splendid  Possibilities— The  True 
Story  of  a  Duck. 


XVI.    A  PARTING  GLIMPSE  OP  CHINA       -    231 

Harbor  of  Hong  Kong — A  Beautiful  Sight 
— Terraced  Hillsides — Busy  Wharves  and 
Female  Coolie  Laborers — A  Wonderful  City 
—  Handsome  Eesidenees  at  the  Peak  — 
Beautiful  View — Grabbing  Real  Estate — 
The  Boy,  the  Apple,  the  Sixpence,  and  the 
Bible—' « I  '11  Make  a  Politician  of  Him ! '  '— 
' '  You  're  a  Hog,  and  You  '11  Never  Get  Over 
It ! ' ' — Americans  Unwelcome — They  Are 
Fair  Game  for  Extortion  and  Bobbery — We 
Are  Invited  to  Dine  with  Mr.  Wei  Yuk — 
Are  Carried  Up  the  Peak  by  Coolie 
Bearers  —  A  Palatial  Eesidence  and  a 
Princely  Eepast — Charming  and  Cultivated 
Hosts — How  a  Chinese  Lady  of  High  Bank 
Dresses — Splendid  Jewels. 

11 


.     CONTENTS 

XVII.    CANTON,    AND    TRIP    FROM    HONO 

KONG  TO  CEYLON  -    239 

Medieval  City  of  Canton — Chinese  Pagodas 
of  A.  D.  1400 — Civil  Service  Examinations 
— Education  the  Only  Patent  of  Nobility — 
General  Grant  Most  Honored  American — 
Actors  Outcasts  and  Pariahs — City  of  the 
Dead — Shameen — Macao — Grotto  of  Camo- 
ens  —  Eastern  Monte  Carlo  —  Missionaries 
Unpopular — Americans  Not — The  Future 
Alone  Can  Tell! — Christmas  Dinner  on 
Board  the  "Prinz  Eitel  Friedrich  "—Pool- 
ing for  Presents — Brilliant  and  Beautiful 
Table  Decorations — Dinner  Served  in  Pro- 
cessions— The  Very  Swell  Gravy-Bearer — 
Songs  of  All  Nations — The  Towering 
Christmas  Tree  and  Its  Presents — Christmas 
Day  at  Singapore — A  Hot  Old  Time,  if 
Nothing  Else. 

XVIII.    SINGAPORE  -    253 

The  White  Man's  Grave — Innovations  and 
Improvements — Stigma  Removed  —  Pictur- 
esque Crowd  on  Wharf — Natives  of  Madras 
Coast — Malays  Dislike  Work— The  Sarong 
and  Fez — We  Drive  Up  to  the  Town  in  a 
Gharry — Ponies  Are  Like  Dogs — Rubbed 
Down  with  a  Rag — Shrieking  for  Two  Dol- 
lars an  Hour — Raffles  Hotel  and  Raffles 
Square — Sir  Stanford  Raffles,  Who  Secured 
Singapore  for  England — An  Enthusiastic 
Collector  of  Native  Flora  and  Fauna — The 
Blow  that  Deprived  Him  of  Wife  and  Chil- 
dren as  Well  as  His  Marvelous  Collection — 
Botanical  Garden  —  Chinamen  Outnumber 
Entire  Cosmopolitan  Population — Fill  the 
Offices  and  Become  Thoroughly  English — 
Gorgeous  'Rickshas — Paid  in  Rice — Opium 
Trade  Flourishes — Secret  Societies — Penang. 

12 


CONTENTS 
XIX.    CEYLON  :  THE  DOOR-SILL  OF  INDIA    -    262 

Only  Gem  of  the  Sea — Gorgeous  Ensemble 
of  Color — Dugout  Canoes — Black  Tamils — 
Handsome  and  Commodious  Hotel — Mr. 
Hoffer,  an  Ideal  Hotel  Manager,  Late  of 
the  Cecil,  London — Head  Waiter  "Jo- 
seph ' ' — Bathing  at  Mt.  Lavinia — My  Creole 
Friend  of  the  Isle  Bourbon — Native  Moun- 
tain His  Sepulcher — Took  America  au  seri- 
eux — ' '  I  Have  Seen  the  Sun  at  Midnight ! ' ' 
— Giant  Cat  's-eyes  —  Snake-Charmers — The 
Mongoose — Bullocks  as  Pets — Cow  is  Sa- 
cred— Familiar  Crows — Variety  of  Native 
Life  and  Costume — Cingalese  Disdain  Labor 
— Tea-Growing:  Its  Profits — Buried  Cities 
of  Ceylon — We  Escape  the  Dreaded  P.  and 
O.  and  Embark  on  the  German  Liner. 


XX.    CAIRO  OF  TO-DAY      -  -    282 

History  of  the  Great  Ditch — "Le  Grand 
Francois"  and  How  He  Fulfilled  the  Ora- 
cle 's  Prophecy  for  Egypt  —  Monotonous 
Aspects — Bible  Scenes — Enormous  Tolls — 
Port  Said — The  Great  Barrage — English 
Prejudice  —  Mecca  Pilgrims  —  Bewildering 
Sights  and  Sounds  of  Cairo  —  Funeral 
Mourners  —  Public  Scribes  —  Shopkeepers ' 
Bitter  Rivalry — Cairene  Wedding  Proces- 
sion— The  Whirling  Dervishes — The  Howl- 
ing Dervishes — The  Citadel — Tombs  of  the 
Califs — The  Pyramids  and  Sphinx — Guides 
All  Lie  in  Seven  Different  Languages — Incu- 
bators— Spot  Where  Moses  Was  Found — Obe- 
lisk of  Heliopolis — Museum  and  Mummies — 
"Well  Done,  Good  and  Faithful  Servant!  " 
— Eecruiting  the  Army — The  University — 
Six  Powers  with  Hand  on  the  Cash-Box — 
Ismail's  Mad  Legacy. 

13 


CONTENTS 
XXI.    NAPLES 316 

The  Famous  Bay — Beautiful  Shore-Line  to 
Pompeii — Herculaneum — We  Walk  on  the 
Seething  Crust  of  Solfatara —  Pozzuoli  — 
Baiae  and  Its  Famous  Ruins — We  Lunch  at 
the  Little  Inn,  and  Drink  the  Historic  Wine 
of  Posilipo  —  ' '  Spaghett !  "  —  Agrippina  's 
Villa  and  Her  Cruel  Murder— The  Grotto 
del  Cane — The  Neapolitan  Puppy — I  Tell 
Him  a  Story— "Shall  I  T'row  Heem  inf  " 
— The  American's  Unexpected  Reply — The 
Pink  Coral  Grotto — How  the  Head  Bower 
Tried  to  do  Us — The  Landlord's  Pathetic 
Appeal— I  Call  My  Bluff— We  Leave  Naples 
with  a  Sense  of  Belief. 

XXII.    GIBRALTAR       -        -        -        - .      -    326 

First  View  Disappointing — Adequate  Arma- 
ment— Everything  Truly  English — We  Drive 
About  and  Make  Some  Purchases — Tommy 
Atkins  Shows  Us  the  Gates — Beautiful  Flow- 
ers Blooming  Everywhere — British  Domina- 
tion Apparent — Will  England  Ever  Restore 
the  Bockf — Her  Bule  in  Egypt  Greatly  Ben- 
eficial— Possession  Nine  Points  of  the  Law 
—  Homeward  Bound  —  We  Embark  for 
America — Passing  Through  the  Azores — 
Beal  Paradises — We  Sight  Fayal — Temper- 
ature Becomes  Cooler — I  Put  on  Two  Over- 
coats— Can  Almost  Smell  Broadway — The 
Narrows — The  Goddess  Waves  Her  Torch  at 
Us — We  Sweep  Up  to  the  Dock — Smiling 
Faces  and  Outstretched  Hands — Dear  Old 
New  York  —  Glorious  America  —  Beloved 
Home! 


14 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


FACING    PAGE 

PICTURESQUE  ADVERTISING  IN  COLOMBO    Frontispiece 

HAWAII: 

GIRL  WEARING  LEI 
SURF-BOAT  HIDING 
THE  HAWAII  HOTEL 56 

JAPAN: 

A  PUBLIC  SCHOOL 

A  WAYSIDE  SHRINE 

A  FAIR  SMOKER 

SIGHTSEEING  IN  TOKYO 80 

AT  THE  TEA-HOUSE  OF  THE  101  STEPS 

A  STREET  EESTAURANT 

NUNOBIKI  WATERFALL 96 

THREE  LITTLE  MAIDS 

A  WATERING-CART 

WRESTLERS 

A  JAPANESE  MOTHER 116 

THE  EMPEROR'S  CARRIAGE 
A  MESSENGER  BOY 
A  SMILING  EECEPTION 

THE  EMPEROR  OF  JAPAN 144 

15 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

FACING    PAGE 

CHINA: 

ASLEEP  IN  His  CAB 

RIVER  LIFE 

PRISONERS  WEARING  THE  CANOUE 

THE  WILLOW  PATTERN  TEA-HOUSE      ....    160 

CHEN  DONG 

A  SIKH  POLICEMAN 

Two  POLICE  SERGEANTS 

A  SHANGHAI  VICTORIA 180 

RESIDENCE  OF  A  CHINESE  GENTLEMAN 

CHINESE  JUNKS  AND  A  PAGODA 

ON  A  NATIVE  BARROW 

A  STREET  IN  CANTON 236 

MANILA: 

ANCIENT  FIRE  DEPARTMENT 

NIPA  HOUSE 

MODERN  FIRE  DEPARTMENT '  .     208 

Two  OLD  ROOSTERS 

A  ROPE- WALK 

A  FILIPINO  MOTHER 

"MAYOR"  BROWN'S  RESIDENCE  AND  CARRIAGE    228 

CEYLON: 

A  CINGALESE  BELLE 
INDIAN  WITH  CASTE  MARK 
THE  GALLEFACE  HOTEL 

A  NATIVE  FERRY 268 

16 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

FACING    PAGE 

EGYPT: 

A  LOAD  OF  TURKEYS 

AN  EGYPTIAN  MOTHER 

A  CAKE-SELLER 

THE  TENT  IN  WHICH  THE  HOLY  CARPET  is  CAR- 

RIED  TO  MECCA 
A  STREET  CIRCUS 288 

WATER-SELLERS 

THE  SPHINX 

EAPID  TRANSIT  IN  THE  DESERT 308 

PUBLIC  LETTER- WRITER 

THE  OBELISK  AT  HELIOPOLIS 

SLEEPING  IN  THE  STREET 312 

ITALY: 

SEEING  POMPEII 

A  POLICEMAN  OF  NAPLES 

EATING  SPAGHETTI  .    .         ,    .    324 


17 


ACROSS   THE   CONTINENT 

"Besting"  Fate — The  Undertaker  and  the  Doctors — The 
Irishman's  Bird — How  we  Missed  the  Grand  Canon — 
Lunch-counter  Ethics — The  Lady  from  County  Down — 
"George,  have  you  Seen  my  Maid" — How  I  Milked 
the  Cow — The  Gila  Monster — The  One  Place  that  is 
Hotter  than  Hades — She  was  Afraid  of  Me  and  the 
Evil  Eye — The  "Mongolia"  is  There. 

THERE  is  a  morbid  desire  latent  in  the  breast 
of  nine-tenths  of  humanity  to  have  it  out 
with  Fate,  sooner  or  later,  and  to  "best" 
her,  if  we  can. 

If  the  old  lady — she  must  be  old,  for  we  have 
all  heard  of  her  since  we  were  able  to  hear  any- 
thing— if  the  old  lady  has  been  particularly  hard 
on  us,  we  feel  that  our  grievance  is  just  about  the 
worst  ever ;  and  then  we  want  to  do  something  des- 
perate. If  we  are  in  the  neighborhood  of  eight 
years  or  thereabouts,  we  fly  to  the  candy-shop  and 
sink  our  all  in  peppermints  and  gumdrops.  If  we 
are  at  the  romantic  period,  when  love  has  every- 
thing else  at  a  discount,  we  get  real  reckless,  and 
say  to  our  best  girl,  "Come  to  the  altar!  let  us 
plunge! — Ho!  there,  instalment  man!  rag-time 

19 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

portieres  and  marble-top  cradles  for  ours!"  Then, 
when  we  have  done  the  deed,  we're  not  sorry — no, 
indeed!  only  it  entails  responsibility  and  things; 
and  consequences — the  inevitable  consequences,  as 
Kipling  puts  it.  So  let  me  give  you  a  little  sug- 
gestion :  When  the  reckless  fit  overtakes  you,  start 
on  a  journey,  if  not  'round  the  world,  then  'round 
the  back  yard.  Never  mind  the  expense — plunge! 
Remember,  you're  going  to  get  even  with  Fate! 
and,  besides,  think  of  the  reward.  Travel  is  the 
greatest  educator.  Travel  opens  the  mind  and  bot- 
tles of  good  cheer,  and  hospitable  doors,  and  the 
arms  of  friendship;  it  sometimes  closes  them,  too, 
but  never  mind  that.  Keep  going, — ' '  Keep  ahead, ' ' 
as  the  undertaker  said  to  the  doctor  at  the  funeral, 
"I  know  my  place  in  this  procession!" 

Now,  that  was  what  we  thought  when  we  started 
to  tour  the  world ;  but,  try  as  we  would,  we  couldn't 
keep  our  place  in  the  procession.  We  started  for 
the  Grand  Canon  of  the  Colorado  in  Arizona; 
that  was  to  have  been  our  first  stopping-place.  But 

[we  were  like  the  Irishman  who  started  out  on  a 
bet  to  shoot  a  certain  bird;  he  missed  the  bird,  but 
killed  a  frog.  He  picked  it  up,  and  looked  at  it 
in  surprise.  "Be  gobs!"  he  said,  "I  knocked  the 

feathers  off  it,  annyway ! ' '    The  Grand  Canon  was 

our  bird;  we  didn't  hit  it,  but  we  knocked  the 
feathers  off  it  in  the  way  of  divers  unexpected  ad- 
ventures, as  will  be  shown  later. 

20 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

The  start  was  propitious,  and  everything  went 
forward  favorably,  until  Kansas  City  was  reached. 
We  arrived  early  in  the  morning,  and  were  re- 
quested by  the  conductor  to  get  breakfast  at  the 
eating  station.  Yet  that  man  had  seemed  to  be 
our  friend! 

As  we  couldn't  eat  the  food,  we  turned  our  at- 
tention to  the  people.  Not  that  we  felt  cannibal- 
ish — but  it  gave  us  something  to  do. 

There  was  a  youth  at  the  quick-lunch  counter 
who  served  coffee,  and  there  was  a  maiden  beside 
him  who  occasionally  changed  a  plate  or  handed 
out  a  spoon  when  she  wasn't  caressing  her  sky- 
scraper pompadour,  or  smoothing  out  a  beruffled 
white  apron  that  had  perceptibly  shrunk  in  the 
wash. 

The  young  man's  running  fire  of  remarks  to  cus- 
tomers, and  side  compliments  to  her,  sounded  some- 
thing like  this : 

"See  here!  if  you've  finished,  get  a  move  on  and 
give  somebody  else  a  show!  Say,  Mame,  there's 
one  o'  them  up-town  girls  that  think  so  much  of 
themselves.  Why,  they  ain't  a  marker  to  you!  I 
tell  you,  you're  worth — fifteen  cents  please,  and  the 
cup  don't  go  with  the  coffee  for  a  souveneer.  Say, 
Mame,  was  you  to  Nellie's  last  night?  I  bet  you 
looked  out  of  sight.  I  couldn't  get  away  from  this 
beanery.  That's  the  very  best  butter,  madam;  we 
get  it  five  miles  out  in  the  country.  What's  that? 

21 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

No;  I  don't  reckon  it  walked  all  the  way  here.  Ain't 
she  fresh?" 

A  stout  woman  hovered  along  the  line  seated  by 
the  counter,  like  a  perturbed  hen  trying  to  find  a 
hole  in  the  chicken  yard  fence.  She  held  a  small 
tin  pail  and  had  evidently  come  from  the  car  of 
excursionists  attached  to  our  train.  She  inquired 
anxiously  of  the  Ganymede  of  the  coffee  urn: 

"Say,  young  feller,  what's  yer  coffee  wuth  a 
cup?"  But  Ganymede  was  too  closely  occupied 
to  heed  her.  Finally  she  poked  a  beetle-browed  old 
gentleman  in  the  back  with  the  dime  she  held,  re- 
peating, 

"Say,  Mister,  what's  coffee  wuth  a  cup  here?" 

Turning  fiercely,  the  man  glared  at  her  and 
snorted : 

"Well,  they  charge  ten  cents,  but  it  ain't  wuth 
a  damn!" 

"Washouts  on  the  road!"  was  the  word  when 
we  returned  to  the  train  and  we  must  be  switched 
south  at  Newton,  Kansas.  We  had  visions  of  the 
Grand  Canon  receding  into  the  future  and  darker 
ones  of  spending  we  knew  not  how  many  days  on  the 
train.  So  we  looked  about  us  to  see  what  manner 
of  people  were  to  be  our  traveling  companions. 
They  were  certainly  varied. 

At  the  end  of  the  car  were  a  mother  and  daugh- 
ter, the  latter  of  uncertain  age,  but  certainly  old 
enough  to  have  a  cup  of  tea  do  her  good.  Every 

22 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

morning  during  the  entire  trip  they  arrayed  them- 
selves completely,  even  to  bonnets  and  gloves,  and 
sat  there  demurely  all  day,  as  if  they  were  in  a 
trolley  car,  and  expected  to  step  off  at  the  next 
corner. 

Back  of  us  was  an  old  Irish  woman — the  pathetic 
sort  that  are  peculiar  to  County  Down.  She  would 
confide  her  story  in  a  plaintive,  little  monotone  to 
every  one.  She  sidled  into  our  seat  and  confided 
to  us  that  she  was  going  to  "  Calif orny" — 

"To  my  daughter,"  she  explained.  "God  knows 
I  want  some  few  days  of  sunshine  before  I  go 
intirely.  I'm  not  strong,  and  I  ate  nothin'  at 
all,  ye'd  wonder  what  I  live  on.  I've  had  nothin' 
the  past  three  days  but  eight  bottles  of  kumiss,  four 
bottles  of  wine  an'  a  box  of  crackers.  Think  of 
that,  now — just  nothin'  at  all." 

She  went  to  one  of  the  eating  houses  along  the 
way  and  not  knowing  they  would  charge  her  for 
a  full  meal,  she  sat  at  one  of  the  tables  and  ordered 
a  cup  of  tea  and  a  roll.  Her  indignation,  when 
charged  seventy-five  cents,  was  sublime.  It  took 
the  cashier,  four  waitresses  and  the  proprietor  to 
explain  that  she  should  have  gone  to  the  counter. 
But  of  no  avail.  The  blood  of  County  Down  was  at 
white  heat.  She  raved  like  a  madwoman.  Finally, 
the  cashier  offered  to  take  sixty  cents — that  was 
allowing  fifteen  cents  for  the  rest  of  the  dinner. 
He  was  a  just  man,  and  with  a  due  sense  of 

23 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

proportion.  That's  all  the  dinner  was  worth,  any- 
how. 

When  the  old  lady  returned  to  the  car,  everybody 
was  treated  to  the  recital. 

"WTiat  do  you  think  of  a  place  where  they  would 
take  sixty  cents  from  an  old  woman,  who  has  none 
too  much,  for  wan  cup  of  tay  and  wan  small  bun? 
'Tis  fair  robbery — that's  what  it  is,  and  if  me  sons 
knew  of  it — mabie  ye  know  me  sons,  they're  prin- 
ters in  New  York. ' '  A  deep  dive  into  a  pocket  that 
must  have  reached  to  her  feet  brought  up  the  card 
of  these  sons,  who  were  printers,  and  of  whom  she 
was  no  doubt  justly  proud. 

"No,  no.  Kape  the  card  —  ye  may  need  some 
printin '  done  some  time,  and  they  're  good  byes. ' ' 

This  was  repeated  almost  every  day  till  I  had  a 
neat  little  pile  of  cards  on  my  window-sill. 

Farther  down  the  car  was  a  would-be  fashionable 
woman,  the  kind  who  affects  an  English  accent  and 
uses  a  lorgnette.  She  was  traveling  with  her  small 
daughter  and  a  maid.  The  maid  was  evidently  her 
most  treasured  possession,  for  she  displayed  the 
greatest  anxiety  on  her  account,  ceaselessly  asking 
every  one  the  same  question:  Had  they  seen  her 
Abigail?  The  small  daughter  was  a  bright,  rest- 
less child,  whose  every  action  called  forth  a  caution 
or  a  reprimand  from  the  mother. 

' '  Nita,  darling ! "  in  a  mincing,  elegant  tone,  and 
quite  piano,  "  my  precious  sweetheart  "  —  then 

24 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

sforzando — crescendo  fortissimo — "You  little  vixen 
— stop  that,  or  I'll  break  your  neck!" 

An  Australian  couple  who  were  returning  home 
by  way  of  San  Francisco,  after  having  come  to 
America  by  way  of  England,  had  the  next  sec- 
tion. She  had  talented  Leslie-Carter  hair — deeply, 
darkly,  beautifully  red — but  after  all,  good  Jesuit 
hair — the  roots  justified  the  ends.  She  was  not  at 
all  pleased  with  America — oh,  dear,  no! — and  con- 
stantly aired  her  impressions  in  a  strident  voice, 
and  with  a  strong,  cockney  accent.  She  thought 
America  a  "shocking  plice" — and  very  much  over- 
rated— one  she  never  cared  to  see  "agine."  And 
the  railroad  service — "the  h'idea  of  dragging  them 
all  over  the  country,  and  cheating  them  out  of 
the  Grand  Canon — why,  it  was  downright  dis- 
honest!" 

One  section  was  curtained  in  all  the  time,  and 
occasionally  a  hollow  cough  might  be  heard  behind 
them.  A  poor  consumptive,  put  on  the  train  in 
almost  a  dying  condition,  was  lying  in  the  berth; 
going  in  search  of  health  in  the  dry  atmosphere  of 
Arizona. 

The  poor  fellow  was  in  a  pitiful  state,  unable  to 
help  himself,  and  entirely  dependent  on  the  good 
offices  of  the  conductor  and  porter,  and  a  few  of 
the  passengers.  One  lady  took  him  orange  juice 
every  morning  and  bathed  his  face  and  hands 
several  times  a  day,  talked  encouragingly  to  him 

25 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

and  tried  to  cheer  him  up — as  sweet  an  exhibition 
of  sympathy  as  one  could  wish  to  see. 

The  consumptives  are  ubiquitous  in  overland 
travel,  there  being  several  on  every  western-bound 
train.  It  is  right  that  they  should  be  taken  to  the 
healing  climate  of  Colorado  and  Arizona,  but  the 
fact  that  the  Pullman  Company  allow  them  to 
travel  in  the  regular  coaches,  where  they  spread 
contagion,  and  provide  no  other  means  of  trans- 
portation is  a  criminal  offense  against  the  healthy 
people  who  are  forced  to  expose  themselves  to  the 
contagion.  When  so  many  States  have  made  the 
question  of  guarding  against  this  disease  the  sub- 
ject of  legislation,  it  would  seem  as  if  they  were 
neglecting  a  very  pressing  duty  in  allowing  this 
menace  to  travelers  to  continue. 

The  porter  was  an  amusing  character,  and  had  a 
droll  way  of  referring  to  himself  in  the  third  per- 
son. He  said  to  me: 

"That  po'  feller  ain'  never  gwine  live  to  see 
Arizona.  George  sees  plenty — we  carries  fum  two 
to  five  or  six  every  trip,  an'  George  knows.  He 
look  mighty  bad.  Why,  he  ain'  nothin'  but  jes'  a 
sperit's  playmate!" 

George  amused  me  very  much,  and  I  encouraged 
him  to  talk.  I  asked  him  if  he  was  married.  He 
said: 

"No,  sah;  but  I  got  a  gal.  Nicest  little  gal  you 
ever  saw,  she's  pretty  dark,  but  George  likes  'em 

26 


ACROSS   THE   CONTINENT 

that-a-way,  they  can't  come  too  black  fer  George. 
I  ain'  got  no  kind  o'  time  fer  dese  yer  yaller  ones, 
they  simply  ornery,  they  got  all  the  big  feelin's  o' 
the  white  folks,  an*  the  bad  qualities  o'  the  nig- 
gers!" 

Just  then  the  lady  with  the  lorgnette  came  along 
and  peering  through  it  at  George,  asked:  "O 
George,  have  you  seen  my  maid  ? ' ' 

"No,  ma'am,  I  ain't!"  he  said,  adding  when  she 
passed  on,  "seems  like  she  has  an  awful  hard  time 
keepin'  up  with  that  maid — she's  so  feared  we 
won't  know  she's  got  one.  George  has  seen  big 
white  folks  down  south  so  po'  they  didn't  know 
whar  they  nex'  meal  was  comin'  fum,  but,  sah," 
impressively,  "dey  was  quality  jis  de  same.  Dis 
yer  'ooman  ain'  got  no  mo'  use  fo'  a  maid  dan  a 
hawg's  got  fo'  side  pawkets!" 

George's  quaint  remarks,  and  very  often  homely 
wisdom,  were  a  great  solace  to  us  through  the  long 
days  that  dragged  by  as  we  meandered  aimlessly 
over  the  southwestern  portion  of  this  great  and 
glorious  country  of  ours.  Down  through  Oklahoma 
and  Texas,  from  Fort  Worth  across  to  El  Paso, 
and  up  through  Arizona  and  Southern  California, 
we  took  our  devious  way,  dodging  washouts  which 
seemed  to  multiply  with  alarming  rapidity. 

In  Oklahoma  we  were  stalled  for  a  day  in  a  town 
called  Shawnee,  an  excellent  example  of  the  wes- 
tern mushroom  town.  It  boasted  a  population  of 

27 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

seventeen  thousand,  had  schools,  churches,  a  town 
hall,  electric  lights  and  trolley  cars,  besides  several 
newspapers.  I  had  the  honor  of  being  interviewed 
by  the  editor  of  one  of  them.  And  yet,  only  three 
years  previous,  where  the  town  stands,  was  the 
home  of  the  deer  and  the  wild  turkey.  There's 
enterprise  for  you. 

The  supply  on  our  "diner"  gave  out,  and  at 
this  town  we  had  our  first  experience  with  local 
restaurants.  We  went  to  the  New  England  Home 
Restaurant,  so-called;  one  of  those  restaurants 
where  there  is  sand  in  the  sugar,  water  in  the  milk, 
and  money  in  the  business.  We  didn't  dare  sit 
down,  for  fear  we'd  never  get  loose  again.  The 
sandwiches  were  made  of  bread  at  least  two  and  a 
half  inches  thick  with  a  piece  of  cold  fried  beef- 
steak between. 

My  sandwich  was  taken  from  before  a  burly 
ranchman,  who  had  fingered  it,  but  as  long  as  he 
hadn't  tasted  it,  the  proprietor  considered  it  as 
good  as  new.  We  discouraged  our  appetites  with 
some  horrible  coffee  sweetened  with  brown  sugar. 

A  ranchman  in  picturesque  attire  came  swinging 
in,  and  determining  on  something  very  swell,  or- 
dered a  cup  of  coffee  and  "two  o'  them" — pointing 
a  sheepish  finger  at  a  couple  of  dejected-looking 
cream  puffs. 

Picking  up  one,  he  turned  it  about,  eyeing  it 
doubtfully,  and  then  opening  his  mouth,  sank  his 

28 


ACROSS    THE    CONTINENT 

fine  teeth,  with  a  tremendous  bite,  into  the  un- 
stable and  treacherous  dainty.  The  cream  gushed 
out  over  his  hand  and  chin,  and  with  a  howl  of 
rage  he  dashed  it  on  the  counter,  crying:  "It's 
a  blamed  old  New  England  swindle — 'tain't 
done!" 

We  left  the  premises  hastily,  not  exactly  under- 
standing the  etiquette  that  might  be  forthcoming, 
and  not  caring  to  "take  a  hand." 

From  now  on,  we  were  forced  to  get  our  meals 
anyhow,  any  place,  as  we  happened  to  arrive  at 
one  of  the  God-forsaken  little  towns  that  lie  out 
so  forlornly  on  the  prairie.  Those  eating  stations 
will  always  be  among  my  choice  collection  of  night- 
mares. Talk  about  the  way  the  other  half  lives — 
it's  nothing  to  the  way  the  other  half  eats — down 
there!  It  is  said  that  one  can  get  used  to  any- 
thing, but  given  my  choice,  I  think  I'd  rather  try 
hanging. 

We  took  a  chance  at  the  real  thing  in  hot  tamales 
one  day.  A  little  boy  was  selling  them  at  one  of 
the  stations.  Well,  after  the  first  bite,  mine  fell 
out  of  the  window.  A  lean  and  melancholy  dog 
made  a  dive  for  it— gave  a  sniff,  and  with  a  dis- 
appointed look  sneaked  away,  and  I  didn't  blame 
him.  He  looked  hungry,  too. 

We  finally  hit  on  a  plan  that  was  our  sole  sal- 
vation. We  bought  a  tin  can,  and  when  we'd  come 
to  a  town  we'd  hail  one  of  the  ubiquitous  small 

29 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

boys  and  send  him  for  some  milk.  It  was  generally 
to  be  had  close  to  the  station,  tho  occasionally 
our  boy  had  to  sprint  to  catch  up  with  the  train. 

At  one  of  those  little  prairie  towns  that  seem  to 
actually  leap  out  of  space,  they  come  so  suddenly 
into  view,  we  found  our  cow  in  a  shed  by  the  sta- 
tion. We  made  quite  a  stop  here  and  every  one  got 
out  There  were  two  or  three  adobe  houses,  the 
station  and  a  water-tank,  a  few  straggling  yucca 
palms,  and  all  about  us  the  wide,  lonesome  desert. 
A  little  knot  of  people  were  standing  gazing  at  the 
train  and  passengers.  I  said  to  one  of  them: 
"How  many  inhabitants  are  there  in  this  town?" 

Waving  his  hand  comprehensively  toward  the 
group,  he  said:  " Judge  for  yourself — they're  all 
here!"  But  to  return  to  our  cow.  Several  of  the 
passengers  wished  to  follow  our  custom  and  buy 
some  milk,  and  some  adventurous  ones  even  essayed 
the  unaccustomed  feat  of  milking  the  cow  them? 
selves.  I  was  offered  the  chance  to  try  but  refused, 
having  sore  recollections  of  my  first  and  last  at- 
tempt to  milk. 

It  was  on  my  uncle's  farm  up  in  New  York  State, 
and  I,  wishing  to  do  everything  that  a  real  farmer 
should,  desired  to  enroll  milking  among  my  accom- 
plishments. Being  of  tender  years,  and  with  the 
confidence  that  usually  accompanies  that  stage  of 
life,  I  entered  the  barn  for  my  first  lesson,  with 
the  utmost  nonchalance,  and  gaily  humming  a 

30 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

dairy  tune.  I  don't  remember  how  I  came  out,  but 
I  think  it  was  by  the  elevator.  When  I  first  looked 
at  the  cow,  she  was  all  peace  and  contentment,  but 
when  she  saw  me  she  looked  dissatisfied,  and  I 
knew  there  was  a  kick  coming.  She  stopped  chew- 
ing her  cud  and  let  it  run  down  the  loop,  then 
after  a  few  minutes  she  rang  it  up  again,  having 
decided  upon  her  line  of  action.  Later  I  discov- 
ered that  I  was  on  the  line  and  very  near  the  trans- 
mitter. 

My  knowledge  up  to  this  time  had  been  confined 
to  the  facts  that  cows  had  horns  and  gave  milk,  if 
you  knew  how  to  ask  for  it  properly,  but  assuming 
a  knowing  air  I  said  "so  boss,"  which  I  believed 
to  be  the  proper  remark,  and  taking  the  pail  be- 
tween my  knees  I  sat  down  at  her  business  end. 
Recalling  the  rather  limited  instructions  I  had  re- 
ceived before  leaving  the  house,  I  gently  took  hold 
of  the  faucets.  That 's  all  I  remember. 

I  was  quite  willing  to  allow  some  one  else  to  milk 
the  cow  in  the  shed  by  the  railway  station,  and 
bought  the  milk  as  I  had  been  doing. 

I  never  drank  so  much  milk  in  my  life  as  on  that 
trip — that  is,  since  I  can  remember — and  even  now 
I  have  an  uncomfortable  feeling  when  I  meet  a 
cow.  I  actually  begin  to  use  baby  talk. 

At  the  aforementioned  Shawnee  we  began  to  get 
some  entertainment  from  our  misfortunes.  A 
young  man  from  California,  one  of  those  serious 

31 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

fellows,  with  a  face  like  a  deacon,  but  a  fund  of 
humor  within,  wrote  out  telegrams  containing  the 
most  airy  flights  of  imagination,  and  showed  them 
to  the  anxious  and  perspiring  passengers,  who  spent 
their  time  pretty  equally  between  swearing  at  the 
management  of  the  road  and  making  the  poor  con- 
ductor's life  miserable. 

One  of  these  telegrams  was  shown  to  me.  It 
stated  that  the  herd  of  elephants  belonging  to 
Ringling  Brothers'  Circus,  that  was  stalled  forty 
miles  away,  were  to  be  brought  over,  and  take  the 
passengers  on  their  backs  across  the  washouts, 
where  another  train  would  meet  them. 

Looking  around  to  discover  the  author  of  this 
delicious  fiction,  I  was  met  by  a  preternaturally 
solemn  glance  and  a  comprehensive  wink. 

After  that  we  pooled  our  energies,  and  when  I 
think  of  what  we  made  that  trainful  of  passengers 
believe,  not  to  mention  the  several  other  trains  we 
were  always  meeting,  for  we  were  generally  stalled 
seven  and  eight  deep,  I  am  astonished  at  the  cred- 
ulity of  human  nature. 

We  devised  one  telegram  about  a  number  of 
prairie  schooners  that  were  to  come  over  the  hills 
and  take  us  by  old  Spanish  trails  far  from  the 
washouts.  My  serious  young  friend  showed  the 
message,  very  secretly,  to  an  excitable  little  Ger- 
man, who  evidently  belonged  to  the  Uneeda  Child 
Company,  for  he  had  about  a  baker's  dozen  of 

32 


ACROSS    THE    CONTINENT 

small  children,  and  a  gentle  childlike  faith  that 
was  truly  touching. 

We  assured  him  that  the  conductor  could  let  only 
a  few  in  on  this  exceptional  opportunity,  as  it 
would  be  impossible  to  take  all  the  passengers.  It 
would  be  necessary  to  secure  tickets  in  order  to  get 
places,  and  he'd  better  do  it  now — and  not  let  the 
conductor  put  him  off — just  insist. 

In  great  excitement  the  little  man  flew  to  the 
poor,  distracted  conductor,  and  asked  him  mysteri- 
ously for  tickets  for  himself  and  family. 

"Tickets — what  tickets?"  demanded  that  long- 
suffering  man. 

"Ah,  you  know — you  kendt  fool  me — I  know  all 
aboud  it,  mine  frendt,"  wagging  a  knowing  finger 
in  front  of  his  nose. 

"I  know  that  you  must  be  crazy.  I  don't  know 
anything  about  any  extra  tickets." 

"Dot's  all  right.  You  don't  want  to  led  on,  bud 
I  haf  been  toldt.  I  wish  to  ged  tigeds  for  dose 
brairie  vaggons — vat?" 

"You're  crazy!"  bellowed  the  exasperated  con- 
ductor, to  our  unholy  joy.  "Who'n  Sam  Hill  told 
you  anything  about  prairie  wagons?  You've  been 
out  in  the  sun  too  long,  Dutchy;  go  to  bed,  and 
put  ice  on  your  head." 

The  monotony  of  our  trip  was  further  varied  by 
the  arrival  at  one  station  of  a  lady  of  the  peroxid 
tint  of  blonde,  who  smuggled  in  a  small  monkey, 

33 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

and  a  large-sized  flask.  The  monkey  was  hidden 
beneath  the  berth,  so  she  would  not  have  to  put 
him  in  the  baggage-car. 

That  evening,  after  the  berths  were  made  up,  we 
were  quietly  settling  down,  with  only  the  last  inter- 
ruptions: a  hollow  cough  from  the  poor  consump- 
tive, then  a  murmur  about  "H 'America  is  such  a 
beastly  plice!" — a  pause — and  then  "I  have  no 
appetite  at  all,  ye'd  wonder  what  I  live  on,"  fol- 
lowed by  George's  plaintive  "No,  ma'am,  I  ain't 
seen  yo'  maid! — Now  has  yo'  all  got  what  yo' 
needs?  Cause  George  is  goin'  to  bed,  po'  George 
is  tired,  and  must  get  some  sleep."  Then  quiet. 

Suddenly  the  air  is  rent  by  the  most  piercing 
ghrieks  followed  by  cries  of, ' '  Oh,  my  darling  child, 
Nita,  my  sweetheart,  what  is  it?  If  you're  fooling 
me,  you  naughty  child,  I  '11  skin  you ! ' ' 

The  greatest  excitement  ensues,  nightgear  and 
lingerie  (I  trust  I  use  the  right  word)  are  in  great 
evidence.  Every  one  is  asking  every  one  else  what 
the  trouble  is,  but  none  seems  to  know. 

Finally  the  mystery  is  solved.  The  little  monkey 
escaping  from  its  box  went  on  an  exploring  ex- 
pedition along  the  curtain  poles  and  dropping 
into  "Nita  darling's"  berth,  frightened  her  out  of 
her  little  senses.  George  unearthed  the  little 
simian,  piteous  and  shivering. 

The  blonde  lady  pleaded  on  her  knees  in  very 
maudlin  accents  that  the  hard-hearted  conductor 

34 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

would  not  send  her  precious  pet  to  the  baggage- 
car.  But  he  was  obdurate,  and  poor  Chico  was 
banished  to  the  accompaniment  of  his  mistress' 
sobs. 

At  El  Paso  we  were  stalled  all  one  Sunday— but 
with  the  expectation  of  leaving  every  moment.  A 
bull-fight  was  on,  over  in  Mexico,  at  Juarez,  just 
across  the  river,  but  we  dared  not  go  for  fear  of 
being  left  by  our  train. 

We  all  embarked  in  a  crazy  stage,  through  oceans 
of  mud,  to  find  a  restaurant,  and  something  to  eat. 
We  found  the  restaurant. 

We  risked  a  short  drive  in  an  ancient  chariot 
that  looked  as  if  it  might  have  belonged  to  a  Span- 
ish grandee.  There  were  traces  of  upholstering 
that  had  once  been  white  corduroy,  and  the 
sides  were  so  high  I  had  to  stand  up  to  see 
over  them. 

Our  drive  was  like  that  problem  they  used  to 
give  us  in  school,  about  the  frog  that  jumped  up 
so  many  feet  in  the  well  and  fell  back  so  many. 
We'd  drive  a  little  way  and  every  time  we'd  hear 
a  whistle,  we'd  get  a  panic,  and  order  the  driver 
to  turn  back. 

Our  poor  consumptive  left  us  at  El  Paso.  He 
was  too  ill  to  remain  on  the  train,  and  was  sent  to 
the  hospital.  He  was  not  to  have  stopped  here, 
but  it  was  his  destination  after  all,  for  the  next 
train  East  took  him  in  the  baggage-car. 

35 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

From  El  Paso  we  kept  north  across  the  arid 
table-lands,  the  low  hills,  like  crumpled  rusty  tin, 
lying  along  the  horizon.  They  are  treasure-houses 
of  copper,  these  hills,  and  every  few  miles  a  mine 
opening  may  be  seen  perched  high  up  on  a  hill- 
side, a  short  spur  of  the  railway  leading  to  it. 

At  Tucson  we  decided  to  leave  the  train  with  all 
its  motley  company  and  varied  entertainment,  and 
take  a  chance  at  catching  the  "Limited"  that  was 
reported  due  two  hours  later.  It  was  a  big  chance, 
but  we  took  it;  and  at  eight  o'clock  that  evening 
saw  the  rear  lights  of  the  train  that  had  borne  us 
for  eight  days  through  divers  viscissitudes,  fading 
from  our  sight 

We  did  not  dare  to  leave  the  station  as  they  told 
us  the  "Limited"  might  come  through  at  any  time. 
It  was  very  hot  in  the  waiting-room  where  three 
Indians,  two  men  and  a  woman,  talked  bad  Spanish 
and  smoked  worse  cigarets,  to  the  accompaniment 
of  the  most  searching  and  painstaking  snore  I  have 
ever  met  proceeding  from  a  fourth  lying  flat  on 
a  bench. 

We  went  outside  and  fell  into  conversation  with 
a  bit  of  local  color — one  of  the  big,  expansive  fine 
fellows  that  the  cow-country  produces. 

Some  wicker  stools  were  produced  and  we  sat 
with  our  new  friend  under  the  spreading  leaves 
of  a  magnificent  yucca  palm,  one  of  a  ring  that 
encircled  the  depot 

36 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

Talking  of  many  things  of  local  variety,  he 
touched  upon  the  subject  of  Gila  monsters.  Con- 
fessing a  great  and  unsatisfied  interest  in  Gila  mon- 
sters, I  was  kindly  piloted  by  our  friend  across  the 
open  square,  through  three  inches  of  the  lightest 
and  most  powdery  dust  I  ever  waded  through,  to 
the  Paradise  saloon  and  dance  hall,  where  in  the 
window  were  displayed  a  Gila  monster  and  a  tar- 
antula, both  denizens  of  the  neighboring  desert. 

We  were  a  little  disappointed  in  the  size  of  the 
monster,  its  name  being  a  trifle  misleading.  The 
tarantula  quite  came  up  to  our  expectations,  having 
apparently  several  dozen  black  and  hairy  legs,  at 
least  three  inches  long,  growing  around  a  body  as 
large  as  an  English  walnut.  The  monster  was 
probably  eight  or  ten  inches  long,  very  much  like 
a  young  alligator,  but  with  the  tail  short  and  blunt, 
and  the  flattened  ugly  head  of  the  rattlesnake.  Its 
skin  was  a  delicate  shade  of  pink  beautifully  mot- 
tled with  brown. 

At  our  friend's  suggestion,  an  amiable  waiter 
opened  a  small  door  back  of  their  cage,  and  prodded 
the  inmates  with  a  small  rake.  The  tarantula 
hustled  around  at  a  lively  rate,  but  the  monster 
only  turned  its  ugly  head  from  side  to  side,  dart- 
ing out  its  snakelike  tongue  with  lightning  rapidity. 

It  was  sufficiently  shuddery  and  we  returned  to 
the  station  with  the  firm  conviction  that  we  should 
dream  of  Gila  monsters  and  tarantulas  all  night. 

37 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

Our  friend  informed  us  that  the  monster  is  far 
more  dreaded  than  the  rattlesnake,  its  bite  being 
almost  without  exception  fatal.  It  lies  flat  on  the 
sand  and  looks  so  much  like  it  as  to  easily  escape 
detection.  He  told  us  of  a  ranchman  who  went  out 
on  a  cattle  round-up,  and  losing  his  hat,  stooped 
from  his  pony  to  lift  it  from  the  ground.  Instantly 
a  stinging  sensation  in  his  hand  followed  by  a  sharp 
glance  at  the  ground  made  him  realize  that  he  had 
been  bitten  by  a  monster. 

Waiting  only  to  shoot  into  atoms  the  reptile  that 
had  probably  caused  his  death,  the  ranchman 
drained  his  flask  and  riding  at  breakneck  speed 
joined  the  rest  of  the  boys,  who  were  near,  and 
drank  all  the  liquor  they  had  among  them.  Hold- 
ing him  in  the  saddle  they  hurried  for  the  nearest 
surgeon,  who  saved  him,  minus  a  thumb.  It  was 
the  only  case  on  record  in  the  neighborhood  of 
recovery  from  the  bite  of  one  of  these  dreaded 
creatures. 

Our  friend  finally  modestly  confessed  that  he 
was  the  man,  showing  a  thumbless  hand  as  evidence. 
We  condoned  with  him  upon  such  an  unpleasant 
experience. 

"Well,  there  was  one  good  thing  about  it,"  he 
said,  philosophically,  "and  that  was  the  jag.  It 
shore  was  a  bird,  it  lasted  a  week!" 

Our  train  came  in  just  then,  and  we  left  him 
with  a  gentle  reminiscent  smile  on  his  face,  while 

38 


ACROSS   THE   CONTINENT 

his  feet  carried  him  perhaps  unconsciously,  but 
with  unerring  precision,  toward  the  Paradise  sa- 
loon and  dance  hall. 

On  the  "Limited"  it  seemed  as  if  we  had  struck 
a  snag,  for  we  were  turned  down  with  the  most 
uncompromising  indifference.  But  with  visions  of 
a  hotel  in  Tucson,  we  stuck  to  our  point,  and  finally 
met,  in  the  person  of  the  train  conductor,  a  friend 
at  court — the  son  of  my  old  friend — Capt.  Jack 
Crawford. 

All  now  went  well — berths  were  found  and  with 
a  sigh  of  relief  we  felt  ourselves  once  more  to  be 
on  the  way  toward  our  steamer  and  the  waters  of 
the  Pacific. 

Our  chances  for  catching  it  were  now  rather 
shaky,  but  having  gained  one  point  we  calmly  went 
to  bed  and  slept  the  sleep  of  the  just  and,  con- 
trary to  expectation,  quite  free  from  dreams  of 
Gila  monsters. 

Crossing  the  desert  between  Tucson  and  Fort 
Yuma,  we  ran  into  a  sand-storm.  The  fine  sand 
sifted  into  every  smallest  opening,  and  made 
breathing  well-nigh  impossible.  Fortunately  it  did 
not  last  long.  We  had  only  run  into  a  corner  of  it, 
and  were  soon  out. 

The  desert  showed  us  several  of  her  capricious 
moods,  for  presently  we  were  treated  to  a  most 
perfect  mirage — apparently  a  lake  or  broad  river 
in  the  desert,  with  little  islets  and  rocks  mirrored 

39 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

in  the  most  beautiful,  cool  and  wettest  looking 
water  imaginable. 

Fort  Yuma  claims  the  distinction  of  being  the 
hottest  place  in  the  Union.  A  story  is  told  of  a 
soldier  who  lived  there  and  died.  The  night  after 
his  death  his  spirit  appeared  to  some  of  his  com- 
rades at  their  camp-fire.  They  asked  him  what  he 
wanted,  and  he  said  Hades  was  so  much  colder 
than  Yuma  he  had  come  back  for  his  blanket. 

It  certainly  lived  up  to  its  reputation  the  day 
we  were  there.  We  got  out  and  walked  on  the 
platform,  being  nearly  grilled  thereby. 

A  number  of  Indians  were  seated  by  the  platform 
displaying  articles  of  beadwork  for  sale.  They 
object  strenuously  to  being  photographed — thinking 
the  camera  has  the  evil  eye,  and  while  it  takes  their 
portrait  will  also  steal  away  their  soul.  However, 
these  scruples  can  be  overcome  at  the  rate  of  fifty 
cents  a  scruple.  Who  says  the  commercial  instinct 
lurks  not  in  the  breast  of  the  Indian  ? 

One  old  woman,  who  was  said  to  be  a  hundred 
and  four  years  old,  covered  her  head  with  her  blan- 
ket, when  I  pointed  my  camera  at  her.  For  her 
entertainment,  I  did  a  little  sleight-of-hand  work, 
making  the  pass  with  a  quarter,  pretending  to 
swallow  it,  then  picking  it  off  her  blanket,  finally 
rubbed  it  into  my  trouser  leg  and  made  it  disap- 
pear entirely. 

I  only  succeeded  in  frightening  the  poor  old 
40 


ACROSS   THE    CONTINENT 

creature  almost  to  death.  She  clasped  her  hands 
in  fear,  made  the  sign  of  the  cross,  crooked  her 
fingers  to  avert  the  evil  eye  and,  pointing  to  me, 
put  her  fingers  to  her  head  like  horns,  indicating 
that  I  was  a  gentleman  extremely  well  known  but 
of  unsavory  reputation. 

Leaving  these  interesting  remnants  of  the  great 
race  that  once  owned  the  land,  we  continued  upon 
our  sadly  interrupted  journey. 

That  afternoon  we  came  into  California  and 
most  grateful  to  our  eyes  were  the  tender  green  of 
foliage  and  the  emerald  slope  of  pastures,  so  long 
had  we  endured  the  arid  desert  lands. 

The  next  morning  we  arrived  in  San  Francisco, 
five  days  overtime,  our  appetites  making  most  rav- 
enous demands  for  something  civilized  to  eat,  but 
with  one  day  to  spare  before  our  steamer  sailed; 
so  we  breathed  a  sigh  of  thanksgiving,  and  were 
comforted. 


41 


n 

ON  THE  PACIFIC 

A  Double  Send-off  —  Chinese  Service  —  Saloon  Boys  and 
Their  Attire — We  Are  Introduced  to  "Pidgin-English" 
— How  to  Capture  a  Chair — The  Boatswain  Playing 
Fan-Tan  —  Pretty  Chinese  at  Her  Devotions  — "  Sky 
Pilot ' '  Brings  Bad  Luck  —  Captain  Drops  Sunday  — 
My  First  Ocean  Trip — Leper  Island  and  Father  Damien 
— Welcomed  by  the  Naval  Boys. 

NOT  until  we  had  reached  the  wharf  and  our 
eyes  were  greeted  by  a  sight  of  the  Pacific 
Mail  Steamer  "Mongolia"  were  we  quite 
positive  she  was  still  there ;  so  often  in  our  frenzied 
imagination  of  the  past  few  days  had  we  seen  her 
calmly  and  majestically  sailing  away,  leaving  us 
disconsolate  on  the  pier,  making  frantic  but  un- 
heeded signals  to  her  departing  form. 

But  there  she  lay,  looming  up  like  a  giantess  in 
comparison  to  her  smaller  sister  of  the  Royal  Japa- 
nese Mail. 

To  one  accustomed  only  to  Atlantic  travel,  the 
element  of  novelty  begins  at  once  on  a  Pacific 
steamer.  Instead  of  smug  English  stewards,  neat 
Chinamen  in  spotless  linen  gowns  of  blue,  long 
cues,  immaculate  white  stockings,  and  the  broadest 

42 


ON  THE   PACIFIC 

of  smiles,  fly  nimbly  about,  carrying  baggage  or 
waiting  on  pasengers  with  most  cheerful  disparity. 

On  the  dock  the  usual  crowd  attendant  upon  a 
departing  steamer  was  made  more  interesting  by 
a  devoted  little  group  who,  as  the  steamer  slipped 
easily  from  her  moorings,  started  up  a  hymn,  one 
energetic  lady  beating  time  with  two  small  flags — 
one  Chinese,  the  other  Japanese.  At  the  same  time 
a  military  band  on  the  wharf  started  "The  Star 
Spangled  Banner."  The  discord  was  undeniable, 
but  the  performance  was  delightfully  humorous, 
the  leader  with  his  baton,  and  the  lady  with  her 
flags,  each  trying  to  outdo  the  other. 

The  military  band  was  easily  accounted  for,  as 
we  had  on  board  General  and  Mrs.  H.  C.  Corbin, 
who  were  going  to  Manila;  but  the  hymn-singers 
were  a  puzzle  until  we  learned  that  they  were  say- 
ing, or  rather  singing,  farewell  to  a  band  of  mis- 
sionaries, who  were  going  in  the  steerage  to  Japan 
and  China.  They  were  going  out  with  almost  no 
provision  from  their  society,  expecting  like  Elijah 
to  be  fed  by  the  ravens.  It  is  to  be  feared  that 
they  will  find  the  raven  in  China  and  Japan  quite 
as  rare  as  the  dodo — the  nearest  approach  being 
' '  crow, ' '  which  some  of  them  will  undoubtedly  have 
to  eat. 

The  Chinese  stewards  interested  us  exceedingly, 
and  when  directly  after  sailing  we  descended  to 
luncheon  we  saw  them  in  a  new  way. 

43 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

We  waited  only  long  enough  to  take  a  last  look 
at  San  Francisco: 

"Serene,  indifferent  of  fate, 

Thou  sittest  at  the  Western  Gate." 

These  lines  of  Bret  Harte  come  to  me  as  we  slip 
away  between  the  green  and  billowy  islands.  San 
Francisco  may  be  indifferent  to  fate  and  a  lot  of 
other  things,  but  it  never  struck  me  that  she  was 
particularly  serene. 

The  long  tables  in  the  saloon  are  laid  out  invi- 
tingly with  massive  silver  and  piles  of  fruit,  around 
which  the  neat  boys  whisk,  making  an  attractive 
picture. 

Here  we  receive  our  first  introduction  to  the 
far-famed  "  pidgin-English, "  which  we  had  pre- 
viously conceived  to  be  very  largely  a  figment  of 
the  story-teller's  brain.  It  was  to  be  later  im- 
pressed upon  us  how  universal  the  use  of  it  is, 
from  San  Francisco  right  through  to  Ceylon,  wher- 
ever the  Chinese  coolie  lives  and  moves  and  has 
his  being. 

In  the  dining-saloon  the  boys  wore  long  gowns 
of  blue  linen,  shiny  with  starch,  high  white  cuffs 
over  their  sleeves,  and  each  smooth  and  jetty  cue 
finished  at  the  end  with  a  silk  tassel,  neatly  tucked 
through  a  little  strap  at  the  side  of  the  gown.  This 
is  to  keep  it  from  slipping  over  the  shoulder  when 
stooping  over  the  tables. 

When  at  hard  or  outdoor  work,  a  Chinaman  will 
44 


ON   THE   PACIFIC 

twist  his  cue  up  like  a  woman,  but  never  in  the 
house,  as  it  is  a  disrespectful  act  to  appear  before 
a  superior  with  the  cue  bound  up.  Foreigners  in 
many  cases  do  not  know  this,  and  the  Chinaman, 
who  instinctively  hates  all  foreigners,  will  often 
resort  to  this  method  of  insulting  them,  taking  a 
deal  of  comfort  out  of  it,  even  tho  the  foreigner 
may  be  in  blissful  ignorance  of  the  intended  dis- 
respect. 

Some  of  the  dining-saloon  boys  had  been  in  the 
service  long  enough  to  speak  and  understand  Eng- 
lish very  well;  with  others  it  was  necessary  to 
resort  to  the  "pidgin"  dialect,  which  is  a  ridiculous 
hybrid  of  baby  talk,  broken  or  rather  mangled 
English  and  a  few  stray  Chinese  words. 

It  was  my  luck  to  draw  a  waiter  who  was  par- 
ticularly shy  on  straight  English,  and  when  I  asked 
for  a  nice  piece  of  rare  roast  beef  and  vegetables 
such  as  my  wife  had,  his  face  remained  as  blank 
as  a  newly  whitewashed  barn-door.  Seeing  my  per- 
plexity a  kind  neighbor  taught  me  what  to  say, 
and  tho  feeling  rather  silly,  I  repeated:  "Boy, 
you  ketchee  me  number  one  piecee  roast  beef,  no 
too  well  done,  and  vegetables  allee  same  lady  have 
got."  His  face  beamed  with  intelligence,  and 
my  order  was  executed  with  readiness  and  dis- 
patch. 

I  subsequently  discovered  that  if  a  chair  was 
desired  from  the  upper  deck,  an  order  in  plain 

45 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

English  would  not  be  understood — but  say  to  him, 
"Boy,  you  go  topside,  ketchee  my  one-piecee  chair, 
bring  to  me."  He  will  depart  cheerfully,  knowing 
just  what  you  mean. 

"Pidgin"  is  the  Chinese  word  for  "business," 
and  a  great  many  years  ago  this  motley  means  of 
communication  was  evolved  piece  by  piece  as  a  me- 
dium through  which  the  English-speaking  traders 
carried  on  business  with  the  Chinese.  Despite  the 
fact  that  numbers  of  Chinese,  especially  the  mer- 
chants, speak  excellent  English,  this  absurd  poly- 
glot has  held  its  own,  and  it  is  a  benighted  China- 
man indeed  who  can  not  conjure  up  a  few  lame 
phrases.  It  is  a  means  of  communication,  even 
among  Chinamen,  so  it  is  said;  for  the  different 
provinces  of  that  country  differ  in  dialect  as  so 
many  countries,  but  with  a  little  of  the  universal 
"pidgin"  they  make  themselves  understood. 

The  crews  on  the  Pacific  Mail  steamers  are  all 
Chinamen.  The  officers  told  us  that  there  is  no 
better  crew  than  a  Chinese  one  and  that  of  our 
steamer  seemed  to  bear  out  the  statement.  It  was 
presided  over  by  a  fat  little  Chinese  boatswain  of 
the  name  of  Tee.  He  spoke  very  little  English, 
entirely  of  the  "pidgin"  variety — and  was  pain- 
fully economical  of  his  own  language. 

As  he  waddled  about  the  decks,  his  short  arms 
dangling  like  flippers,  he  was  strongly  reminiscent 
of  a  seal  trying  to  walk  upright.  The  officers  told 

46 


ON   THE   PACIFIC 

us  that  he  was  a  master  of  his  craft  in  all  kinds  of 
rigging  and  tackle,  and  to  see  him  squinting  aloft, 
giving  a  few  commands  in  a  low  guttural,  was  to 
have  our  childhood  pictures  of  ranting,  bellowing 
seamen  set  at  naught.  He  alone  hired  and  dis- 
charged the  men,  so  he  had  the  entire  crew  under 
his  thumb. 

When  white  sailors  are  off  duty,  they  smoke,  spin 
yarns,  or  growl.  They  must  sometimes  dance,  I 
suppose,  or  how  did  the  sailor 's  hornpipe  come  into 
existence?  A  Chinese  crew  spends  its  leisure  time 
in  gambling. 

Captains  of  Pacific  steamers  declare  that  if  this 
sport  were  not  allowed,  they  would  have  to  go  beg- 
ging for  crews,  or  take  Japanese — an  alternative 
almost  too  terrible  to  be  mentioned  to  a  Pacific 
captain. 

The  favorite  gambling  game  is  played  with  a 
simple  outfit,  consisting  of  a  piece  of  matting  di- 
vided into  numbered  squares,  a  small  cup  and  sau- 
cer, and  two  dice.  The  game  is  in  plain  view,  the 
matting  spread  on  the  steerage  deck.  The  game 
resembles  roulette  to  the  extent  of  money  being 
placed  on  the  numbered  squares;  the  cup  with  the 
dice  in  it,  covered  with  the  saucer,  is  well  shaken, 
the  dice  are  thrown  out,  and  if  your  money  is  on 
a  square  corresponding  with  the  dice,  you  win  as 
much  again  as  you  have  laid  down. 

This  simple  little  game  also  resembles  roulette 
47 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

in  that  the  banker  has  a  great  deal  of  money  when 
the  game  ends. 

The  passengers  amused  themselves  by  descending 
to  the  steerage  deck  and  engaging  in  the  game.  The 
Chinese  banker  welcomes  them  with  a  bland  and 
childlike  smile,  knowing  that  he  will  eventually 
separate  them  from  the  majority  of  their  coin, 
which  he  will  stow  away  in  the  tin  tobacco-box  they 
all  use  as  a  bank. 

There  are  other  things  of  interest  on  the  steerage 
deck  besides  the  gamblers,  for  most  of  the  passen- 
gers there  are  Orientals,  and  all  the  ways  of  these 
mystical  people  are  odd  to  travelers  accustomed  to 
seeing  chiefly  emigrants  and  down-on-their-luck 
men  in  this  part  of  the  ship.  The  little  Japanese 
women  bring  their  doll-like  babies  on  deck  and 
lie  or  sit  about  in  attitudes  more  to  be  commended 
for  comfort  than  grace  or  elegance.  That  "some- 
body is  looking"  does  not  affect  them  in  the  least. 

Two  little  Japanese  boys  would  wrestle  for  hours 
at  a  time,  wriggling  all  over  the  deck  like  young 
puppies.  Wrestling  is  the  national  sport  of  Japan 
and  boys  go  at  it  as  soon  as  they  are  able  to  walk. 

On  the  forward  hatch  of  the  steerage  deck  the 
thirty  or  more  missionaries  traveling  in  that  class 
contrived  a  chapel,  with  a  tarpaulin  for  an  awning 
and  a  small  melodeon,  a  few  chairs  and  a  supply  of 
hymns,  the  last-named  seemingly  inexhaustible. 
The  sustaining  qualities  of  song  seemed  necessary 

48 


at  almost  every  hour  of  the  day — in  addition  to 
the  regular  service  held  twice  daily. 

Tee,  the  taciturn  boatswain,  received  orders  to 
open  the  forward  hatch  when  we  were  nearing 
Honolulu.  He  departed  but  presently  returned 
saying:  "No  can  open  hatchee,  too  muchee  sing- 
song, too  muchee  chin-chin."  Perhaps  it  would 
be  as  well  to  explain  that  "chin-chin"  is  actually 
the  Chinese  word  for  prayer — or  the  act  of  praying. 

One  morning,  when  we  had  gone  on  deck  very 
early,  we  saw  a  pretty  Chinese  woman  in  full  native 
costume  sitting  on  a  grating,  devoutly  repeating 
her  prayers,  while  she  held  three  burning  joss-sticks 
in  her  hand.  On  the  forward  hatch  the  band  of 
missionaries  were  holding  service,  and  tho  in  their 
eyes  she  was  a  heathen,  the  kind  they  were  going 
out  to  save  by  teaching  them  the  error  of  their 
ways,  it  is  my  belief  that  the  smoke  of  the  joss- 
sticks,  representing  the  prayers  of  her  gentle,  de- 
vout heart,  rose  quite  as  high  toward  heaven  as  the 
songs  of  the  missionaries. 

This  charming  worshiper  was  one  of  the  very 
few  Chinese  passengers  who  ever  came  on  deck. 
The  majority  remained  in  their  bunks  by  day  as 
well  as  by  night;  perhaps  because  the  steerage 
odors  reminded  them  of  the  homes  to  which  they 
were  journeying.  Similar  smells,  but  a  thousand 
times  more  pronounced,  distinguish  Chinese  cities 
and  towns  from  all  others.  Possibly  a  stronger  fas- 

49 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

cination  still  is  the  opium  den,  which  is  in  every 
Pacific  liner,  and  quite  as  necessary  as  the  kitchen. 

According  to  the  old  sailor  superstition  that  a 
missionary,  or  "sky  pilot,"  of  any  kind  brings  bad 
luck  and  stormy  weather  to  a  ship,  we  should  have 
had  calamities  equaling  those  which  befell  the 
Ancient  Mariner.  For  there  were,  besides  the  thirty 
in  the  steerage,  a  goodly  number  of  missionaries 
in  the  first  cabin.  It  was  pleasing  to  notice  the 
absence  of  any  sectarian  feeling,  Baptists,  Method- 
ists, and  Presbyterians  each  taking  his  turn  at 
conducting  the  services. 

When  we  arrived  at  the  place  where  a  day  was 
lost,  the  Captain  had  his  choice  of  dropping  either 
Sunday  or  Monday.  He  decided  on  the  former, 
but  the  missionaries  wouldn't  have  it,  and  held 
service  for  three  days  in  succession  so  as  to  be  sure 
and  hit  it  right. 

But  in  spite  of  the  many  reasons  for  storm  and 
stress,  the  sea  remained  calm  and  only  breezes  soft 
as  summer  zephyrs  blew  across  our  bows.  In  fact, 
during  our  entire  trip  across  the  Pacific  we  were 
never  off  an  almost  even  keel. 

It  was  so  different  from  my  first  ocean  trip, 
which  was  across  the  Atlantic.  I'll  never  forget 
that.  I  hadn't  been  feeling  well,  and  was  told  that 
the  sea-voyage  would  make  another  man  of  me. 
Imagine  making  another  man  of  me,  when  there 
was  hardly  enough  material  for  one ! 

50 


ON   THE   PACIFIC 

Well,  the  minute  the  ship  left  the  dock  I  felt 
better.  I  threw  out  my  chest — and  a  lot  of 
other  things  I  didn't  need  and  prepared  to  enjoy 
life. 

By  the  time  we  got  to  Sandy  Hook  the  ship  was 
having  St.  Vitus'  dance,  and  most  of  the  passengers 
decided  to  go  below  to  unpack.  I  started  to  find 
my  stateroom,  and  I  think  I  butted  into  every  one 
there  was.  I  was  finally  hurled  into  one  just  as 
the  occupant,  a  lady,  was  climbing  into  the  upper 
berth.  She  said,  "Sir!"  Then  the  ship  went  the 
other  way,  and  I  was  never  so  completely  sat  on  by 
a  lady  in  my  life. 

At  last  I  found  my  own  stateroom,  which  was  a 
locker  with  a  couple  of  shelves  in  it. 

The  ship  now  seemed  to  stand  on  her  nose  and 
wag  her  tail  in  the  air;  I  deliberated  whether  I 
should  close  the  port-hole  and  go  to  my  berth,  or 
close  my  berth  and  go  to  the  port-hole.  On  the 
fourth  day  I  began  to  take  notice  of  things  and 
crawled  out  on  deck  just  as  the  ship  was  doing  a 
' '  buck  and  wing. ' '  I  was  shot  from  one  end  of  the 
ship  to  the  other,  finishing  with  a  head-on  collision 
with  a  fat  man's  stomach.  He  was  mad  because  I 
butted  in  on  his  breakfast.  I  apologized  for  the 
intrusion,  and  crawled  into  a  steamer  chair. 

The  day  it  was  roughest  the  passengers  asked  me 
to  get  up  a  concert.  There  was  a  prima  donna  on 
board  who  was  having  her  voice  cultivated  in  Paris. 

51 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE    WORLD 

I  supposed  she  was  going  over  to  get  it,  for  she  cer- 
tainly didn't  have  it  with  her.  She  consented  to 
take  part  in  the  concert  and  chose  a  fitting  selec- 
tion for  a  rough  night — "Rocked  in  the  Cradle  of 
the  Deep. ' '  Just  as  she  started  in  to  sing,  the  ship 
side-stepped  and  threw  her  under  the  table.  A 
friend  of  mine  was  accompanying  her  on  the  piano, 
so  of  course  he  had  to  follow  her.  I  said:  "For 
heaven's  sake,  is  this  a  concert  or  a  knockabout 
act?"  The  prima  donna  thought  she  was  down 
for  a  solo,  but  she  was  down  for  an  hour. 

On  the  Pacific  there  were  no  such  experiences 
for  us.  And  it  is  such  a  great,  big,  lonesome  ocean 
— only  once  in  all  the  eighteen  days  did  we  see  a 
ship,  a  big,  full-rigged  ship  with  all  sails  set — but 
seeming  to  stand  perfectly  still,  utterly  becalmed, 
"a  painted  ship  upon  a  painted  ocean." 

Our  steamer,  besides  having  an  excellent  crew, 
had  what  probably  creates  a  fine  crew — as  fine  a 
set  of  officers  as  any  boat  could  have  and  honored 
by  having  as  its  chief  officer  the  Captain  Porter  who 
saved  his  crew  and  lived  with  them  for  more  than 
a  year  among  friendly  Eskimos  far  within  the 
Arctic  Circle  after  his  ship,  which  was  on  govern- 
ment survey  duty,  was  crushed  in  the  ice.  Captain 
Porter,  besides  being  an  efficient  officer,  was  a  most 
genial  and  pleasant  gentleman,  as  merry  and  care- 
free as  if  he  had  always  cruised  on  summer  seas, 
and  wasn't,  when  we  met  him,  responsible  for  a 

52 


ON   THE   PACIFIC 

great  ship,  a  valuable  cargo,  and  three  thousand 
passengers.  He  was  also  a  wily  diplomat.  For  in- 
stance, no  one  but  a  diplomat  could  have  met  suc- 
cessfully, and  without  subsequent  hard  feeling,  the 
tearful  complaint  of  one  lady  that  she  couldn't 
sleep  because  of  the  jarring  of  the  engines,  and 
begging  that  they  be  stopped  during  the  night. 

Captain  Porter  was  a  delightful  raconteur  and 
entertained  us  on  several  occasions  with  stories  of 
his  sojourn  in  the  frigid  zone.  His  tales  of  Eski- 
mo dainties,  especially  a  duck  soup,  where  the 
bird  is  put  in  for  cooking  not  only  undressed  but 
unplucked,  made  us  glad  there  were  no  Eskimo 
cooks  on  board. 

A  source  of  occasional  uneasiness  were  the  two 
little  black  Pomeranian  dogs  belonging  to  Mrs. 
Corbin.  She  had  received  special  permission  to 
have  them  en  deck  in  the  daytime,  but  at  night 
they  must  be  put  below  and  in  charge  of  the 
butcher!  Why  such  choice  was  made,  we  failed  to 
see — we  considered  it  a  tempting  of  Providence ;  tho 
our  fears  were  somewhat  allayed  when  we  discov- 
ered that  the  butcher  was  not  a  Chinaman,  but  an 
Englishman.  But  even  so,  we  always  ate  our  break- 
fast with  a  keener  appetite  when,  during  our  early 
morning  stroll,  we'd  see  the  little  Corbin  dogs 
appear  upon  the  deck. 

Within  three  days  of  Honolulu  we  realized  our 
approach  to  the  tropics  by  the  sensible  rise  in  tem- 

53 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

perature,  the  numbers  of  flying-fish,  and  the  sum- 
mer costume  of  the  passengers  and  officers. 

The  evening  before  our  expected  arrival  at  Hon- 
olulu, the  chief  topics  of  conversation  were  the 
principal  sights  of  the  town  and  the  best  methods 
of  seeing  them. 

Every  one  retired  with  the  keenest  anticipations, 
for  even  six  days  on  the  water  create  a  longing  to 
see  land,  proving  that  man,  tho  he  go  down  to  the 
sea  in  ships,  is  beyond  question  a  land  animal. 

Most  of  us  were  up  betimes  and  were  rewarded 
by  the  sight  of  a  dark,  low-lying  island — on  our 
port  bow.  This  was  Molokai,  the  leper  island,  and 
the  scene  of  Father  Damien's  heroic  life  and  death. 
This  Belgian  missionary  priest,  who  started  in  life 
a  simple,  unlettered  peasant,  so  lived  and  worked 
and  died  that  his  name  will  ever  be  one  of  those 
who  need  no  Hall  of  Fame  to  make  their  memory 
immortal.  His  will  go  ringing  down  the  Halls  of 
Time  as  one  that  loved  his  fellow  men. 

As  we  looked  at  the  bare,  tragic  island,  we  wished 
for  that  wonderful  letter  of  Robert  Louis  Steven- 
son, that  we  might  read  again  the  exquisitely  writ- 
ten story  of  the  man  who,  "by  one  striking  act  of 
martyrdom,  had  directed  all  men's  eyes  on  that  dis- 
tressful country — who,  at  a  blow  and  the  price  of 
his  life,  had  made  the  place  illustrious  and  public." 

Ahead,  another  island,  with  high,  rocky  promon- 
tory, stood  out  now  quite  plainly.  As  we  came 

54 


ON  THE   PACIFIC 

nearer,  we  could  distinguish  fleets  of  little  fishing- 
boats,  their  white  sails  dotting  the  blue  water  like 
flocks  of  birds.  A  snowy  sickle  of  sand  outlined 
the  black  and  beetling  cliff,  and  around  it  came 
the  little  "Alameda,"  rolling  and  plunging  in  a 
swell  that  did  not  even  disturb  the  stately  calm  of 
our  giantess. 

It  was  noon  before  we  really  warped  to  the 
wharf,  alongside  of  which  was  a  United  States 
naval  training-ship  whose  band  welcomed  us, 
accompanied  by  the  shouts  of  the  white-clad  boys. 


55 


m 

HAWAII 

We  Are  Garlanded  with  Wreaths  of  Welcome — My  First 
Experience  as  a  Chauffeur — Luncheon  Amid  the  Palms 
— We  See  the  Sights  of  the  Town — Stump  Speakers  in 
the  Vernacular — Lovely  Pali — "One- Finger  Poi" — 
The  Aquarium — Surf -Biding — Phenomenal  Rice  Crops — 
Imported  Labor — Japanese  Invasion — Captain  Cook's 
Monument — How  ' '  Bill ' '  Swore  Off— My  Poetic  Friend, 
Charley  Stoddard — How  I  Struggled  with  the  Archi- 
tecture of  the  Hawaiian  Language — My  Good  Friend, 
Lieutenant-Governor  Atkinson — The  Handsome  Bach- 
elor of  the  Islands — Fire-Drill — Approaching  the  Shores 
of  Japan. 

THE  city  of  Honolulu,  looking  from  the  har- 
bor, does  not  seem  large,  tho  there  is  a  pop- 
ulation of  fifty  thousand.    The  houses  are 
so  embowered  in  luxuriant  foliage,  it  is  only  occa- 
sionally that  a  roof  may  be  seen  peeping  out. 

As  the  ship  draws  slowly  toward  the  wharf  the 
water  about  her  becomes  alive  with  lithe,  brown 
swimmers,  who  shout  for  pennies  to  be  thrown. 
These  balance  slowly  down  through  the  clear  water, 
the  boy  nearest  dives  quickly,  and  almost  immedi- 
ately bobs  up  again  holding  the  coin  triumphantly 
aloft  in  one  hand — while  with  the  other  he  be- 

56 


Girl  Wearing  Lei 


Surf-Boat  Riding 


The  Hawaii  Hotel 


HAWAII 

seeches  for  more — keeping  himself  erect  by  treading 
water.  These  slim,  brown,  native  boys  swim  almost 
before  they  can  walk  and  become  quite  as  much 
at  home  in  the  water  as  on  land. 

As  soon  as  the  gangplanks  were  out,  friends 
came  aboard.  We  became  indebted  to  Mr.  E.  M. 
Boyd  for  much  of  the  pleasure  of  our  stay  in  Hon- 
olulu and  for  our  exceptional  opportunity  for  see- 
ing things  thoroughly  in  the  shortest  space  of  time. 
Mr.  Boyd  is  an  American,  formerly  a  well-known 
newspaper  man  in  California  and  now  one  of  Hon- 
olulu's foremost  citizens.  He  welcomed  us  with 
the  beautiful  but  rather  embarrassing  Hawaiian 
custom  of  throwing  long  wreaths  or  leis  about  our 
necks.  These  are  made  of  carnations,  camelias,  or 
jasmine  with  glossy,  green  leaves.  Women  who 
make  them  sit  along  the  streets  in  Honolulu  with 
baskets  of  flowers  and  completed  leis  beside  them, 
their  fingers  busily  engaged  in  weaving  others.  So 
universal  is  this  custom  of  wearing  these  flowery 
adornments,  that  every  native  one  meets  has  neck 
and  hat  decorated  with  a  fresh,  dewy  wreath.  Time 
was,  no  doubt,  when  these  were  all  of  their  adorn- 
ing, but  civilization  has  decreed  a  few  additions 
to  such  an  airy,  tho  no  doubt  picturesque  cos- 
tume. 

Our  doubts  as  to  the  best  method  of  seeing  the 
sights  were  settled  for  us  by  our  friend,  Mr.  Boyd, 
who  had  an  automobile  waiting  for  us  on  the  dock. 

57 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

This  was  almost  the  only  one  on  the  island  and  as 
we  started,  the  people  gave  back  respectfully— some 
skipping  aside  with  almost  panic-stricken  haste. 
The  driver  told  us  of  his  first  trip  in  the  machine 
through  the  outlying  country.  He  came  upon  a 
Chinese  coolie  who  had  never  seen  anything  of  the 
kind  before,  and  who  stood  rooted  with  horror  to 
the  road  until  the  driver  tooted  the  horn.  Then  the 
Chinaman  fled  frantically  to  the  fence,  over  which 
he  plunged,  shrieking,  "heap  devil!  heap  devil!" 
When  the  driver  had  finished  telling  us  of  his  first 
experience,  I  told  him  of  mine — not  in  Honolulu, 
but  in  the  good,  old  Empire  State,  U.  S.  A.  As  I 
remember  it  was  a  fine  ride !  The  fine  was  a  hun- 
dred and  fifty.  I  said  to  my  chauffeur  (chauffeur 
is  French  for  plumber),  I  said  to  my  chauffeur, 
"Let  her  go!"  and  he  let  her  go.  We  went  so  fast, 
the  milestones  looked  like  a  cemetery!  We  simply 
flew  thro*  the  air.  When  the  car  stopped  short,  I 
was  still  flying.  I  flew  eighty  feet  thro'  the  air, 
shot  thro'  a  church  window  and  lit  right  in  the 
middle  of  the  congregation,  just  as  the  minister 
was  saying:  "And  the  angel  of  the  Lord  de- 
scended ! ' ' 

I  was  a  fine-looking  angel,  with  a  pair  of  goggles ; 
a  linen  duster  and  a  rubber  tire  'round  my  head 
for  a  halo!  I  explained  to  the  astonished  congre- 
gation that  I  had  just  "dropped  into  meetin'!" 

Well,  after  working  four  days,  with  eight-hour 
58 


HAWAII 

night  shifts,  we  got  the  car  going;  and  all  went 
well  till  I  tried  to  steer.  I  turned  out  for  a  cow, 
and  turned  into  a  "dago"  with  a  fruit-stand.  There 
was  a  free  delivery  of  fruit.  It  was  hard  to 
tell  which  was  the  fruit  and  which  was  the  ' '  dago. ' ' 
We  stopped  long  enough  to  remove  a  banana  from 
my  eye  (you  have  to  keep  your  eye  peeled)  and 
went  on.  Nothing  happened  until  we  got  in  the 
midst  of  a  crowded  thoroughfare,  when  the  blamed 
thing  had  the  blind  staggers;  tried  to  climb  an 
electric-light  pole  and  bit  a  policeman  in  the  mid- 
dle of  his  beat !  That  cost  the  city  a  copper,  and 
me  a  pretty  penny. 

Since  then  I've  tried  pretty  nearly  every  kind 
of  car,  with  results  about  the  same — in  the  end  I 
was  a  nervous  wreck,  and  the  car  was  a  total  wreck. 
So,  when  a  friend  of  mine  calls  me  up  on  the  phone 
and  says  he's  "got  the  automobile  fever,"  and 
"wants  to  know  what  he'd  better  get,"  I  tell  him 
to  get  over  it. 

We  went  up  through  the  city  to  Alexander 
Young's  new  hotel,  the  finest  hostelry  in  Honolulu, 
where  an  exquisite  luncheon  was  served,  tendered  to 
us  by  the  management,  in  whom  we  unexpectedly 
found  old  friends.  Leis  of  red  carnations  sur- 
rounded every  dish  and  glass,  making  the  table  a 
veritable  mass  of  bloom.  Everything  was  perfectly 
cooked  and  served  and,  that  every  sense  might  be 
appealed  to,  the  table  was  placed  near  a  window 

59 


SMILING    TIOUND   THE   WORLD 

overlooking  the  town.  The  dining-room  was  in  the 
top  of  the  building,  and  the  outlook  charming — 
over  billowing  green,  feathery  palms  and  blos- 
soming vines.  Next  to  the  dining-room  was  a 
palm-room,  set  about  with  many  small  wicker  tables 
and  chairs.  It  was  practically  open  and,  on  a  moon- 
light night,  must  be  a  place  to  stir  even  the  most 
prosaic  to  romantic  meditation. 

After  luncheon,  out  through  the  city  we  went 
again  toward  the  country.  The  city  spreads  over 
an  area  of  ten  miles  and  is  patrolled  by  a  body  of 
a  hundred  and  fifty  police — those  in  the  outskirts 
being  mounted.  There  is  a  capable  fire  depart- 
ment with  modern  engines  and  equipment ;  a  pretty 
theater,  where  shows  are  so  scarce  they  are  fre- 
quently reduced  to  the  necessity  of  amateur  per- 
formances. These  affairs  are  charming  social 
events,  and  draw  large  audiences  even  from  the 
other  islands,  among  the  inhabitants  of  which  there 
is  a  strong  feeling  of  friendly  hospitality. 

The  shops  of  the  town  are  very  like  those  of  the 
States,  the  more  picturesque  element  being  fur- 
nished by  the  fish-market  and  the  shops  in  China- 
town. 

The  fish-market  is  an  important  institution,  as 
the  products  of  the  sea  are  the  chief  diet  of  these 
Island  people.  It  is  a  novel  sight  to  one  fresh  from 
the  States  to  see  the  little  Japanese  women  in  kimo- 
no and  clogs,  with  baby  on  back,  its  tiny,  shaven 

60 


HAWAII 

head  bobbing  helplessly.  Chinese  women  and 
children  are  rare  in  these  islands,  but  may  still  be 
seen  in  considerable  numbers. 

An  interesting  phase  of  life  in  this  section  is 
the  political  speaker,  who  takes  the  stump — some- 
times several  stumps  in  succession — at  the  noon 
hour.  All  Hawaiians  take  a  keen  interest  in  pol- 
itics. The  speech  I  heard  was  in  the  Hawaiian 
tongue,  the  only  words  I  understood  being  "beef 
trust";  this  the  speaker  said  very  plainly  in  Eng- 
lish, there  probably  being  no  equivalent  in 
Hawaiian.  As  he  proceeded  from  stump  to  stump, 
his  audience  waned  perceptibly — perhaps  from  a 
native  indolence  of  temperament  which  could  not 
cling  very  long  to  one  thing.  At  any  rate,  when 
he  reached  the  last  stump,  his  audience  reminded 
me  of  what  Peter  Dailey  said  of  an  audience  in  a 
New  York  theater  where  business  was  poor.  When 
asked  how  large  the  audience  was,  "Pete"  an- 
swered, "I  could  lick  all  three  of  them!" 

From  politics  to  Pali — a  marvelous  transition! 
This  vision  of  beauty — no  matter  what  other  scenes 
I  may  look  upon — will  never  fade  from  my  mind 
while  memory  lasts. 

This  high  cliff,  garlanded  with  the  softest  and 
most  luxuriant  verdure,  overlooks  a  fertile  valley 
where  is  spread,  like  a  carpet,  every  varying  shade 
of  green  that  finally  melts  in  the  distance  to  the 
exquisite  turquoise  and  beryl  tints  of  the  sea, 

61 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE   WORLD 

making  an  enchanting  panorama  of  transcendent 
loveliness. 

Pali  was  the  scene  of  the  historic  battle  of  the 
forces  of  Oahu,  when  they  were  driven  up  into 
the  mountains  by  the  army  of  King  Kamehameha 
the  Great,  who  had  come  over  from  Hawaii  to  con- 
quer them.  The  Oahuans  were  pressed  back  until 
they  were  finally  driven  over  the  edge  of  the  Pali, 
a  living  cataract  of  twenty-eight  hundred  men. 
To  stand  upon  the  edge  of  this  cliff  and  conjure 
up  a  vision  of  this  historic  event,  which  took  place 
scarcely  a  hundred  and  seven  years  ago,  must  give 
even  the  least  impressionable  a  thrill. 

We  returned  from  the  Pali,  down  the  winding 
road,  between  thickets  of  guava  bushes,  tree-fern, 
koa- trees,  and  banana- trees,  meeting  many  ' '  Pakes ' ' 
or  foreigners,  driving  packhorses  laden  with  sup- 
plies for  the  sugar  plantations,  or  the  pedlers  of 
poi,  two  casks  slung  from  a  bamboo  yoke  on  their 
shoulders. 

At  intervals  along  the  road  there  would  appear 
a  stick,  with  a  bit  of  white  cloth  fluttering  from 
it  This  is  a  signal  to  the  poi-seller  that  some 
family  who  live  down  an  almost  hidden  track  lead- 
ing from  the  little  flag  are  in  need  of  poi.  This 
highly  prized  article  of  food  among  the  natives  is 
made  from  the  root  of  the  taro,  a  sort  of  lily 
ground  into  flour  and  made  into  a  sour  paste  with 
water.  When  it  is  rather  thick  it  is  called  "one- 

62 


HAWAII 

finger  poi"  because  a  portion  can  be  readily  lifted 
with  one  finger.  When  thinner,  two  fingers  are 
necessary  to  lift  any  to  the  mouth,  so,  to  distin- 
guish the  consistency,  which  is  governed  entirely 
by  individual  taste,  it  is  called  "one,  two,  or  three 
finger  poi." 

It  is  entirely  an  acquired  taste,  to  the  novice 
being  decidedly  unpleasant,  suggesting  a  mixture 
of  soft  soap  and  buttermilk.  It  is,  however,  very 
nutritious  and  healthful  and  the  white  residents 
claim  that  a  course  of  it  would  put  a  new  stomach 
into  a  wooden  Indian! 

A  pick-me-up  of  exceptional  value  after  a  night 
when  one  has  dined  not  wisely,  but  too  well,  is  a  poi 
cocktail,  made  of  a  glass  of  milk  with  chipped  ice, 
and  two  tablespoonfuls  of  poi. 

I  was  next  taken  to  the  Aquarium,  where  the  col- 
lection of  native  fish  is  something  beyond  the  power 
of  the  wildest  imagination  to  picture,  and  quite 
baffles  description.  Little  fishes  striped  in  bright 
pink-and-white,  like  sticks  of  peppermint  candy, 
jostle  those  that  are  of  a  silvery  and  blue  brocade, 
others  of  a  dark  color,  with  spots  of  vivid  red 
and  bridles  of  golden  yellow  going  about  their 
heads  are  in  the  next  cage  to  transparent  fish  of  a 
delicate  pink  or  blue — or  a  family  of  devil-fish. 
There  are  fish  of  a  beautiful  somber  purple,  and 
fish  of  white  with  black  horizontal  stripes,  looking 
like  a  company  of  convicts  from  Sing  Sing.  There 

63 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

are  many,  many  others,  those  with  trailing  fringes, 
or  floating  wings;  those  with  eyes  on  little  pivots 
that  turn  easily  in  all  directions  like  small  conning- 
towers;  all  odd  or  unusual,  seeming  like  dream- 
fishes,  or  the  fan tnms  of  a  disordered  brain,  rather 
than  products  of  nature. 

In  some  parts  of  the  archipelago  one  may  go 
out  in  boats  with  glass  bottoms  and,  so  clear 
is  the  water,  even  to  the  depth  of  twenty  or 
thirty  feet,  these  marine  birds  of  paradise  may  be 
plainly  seen  darting  about  among  the  trees  of 
coral. 

We  next  took  a  spin  around  Diamond  Head. 
This,  like  all  the  peaks  in  the  islands,  is  of  volcanic 
origin,  being  formed  of  tufa  or  lava  rock. 

The  native  legend  that  accounts  for  all  the  vol- 
canoes in  the  group  is  that  the  goddess  Pele,  the 
daughter  of  the  god  Kane  and  the  Fire,  when  ex-^ 
pelled  from  her  original  home,  an  island  near  the 
Philippines,  moved  to  the  Hawaiian  group,  build- 
ing her  houses  in  different  portions  of  them.  She 
was  evidently  a  young  person  of  a  roving  nature, 
for  she  frequently  changed  her  habitation.  On 
Oahu  she  built  Puowaina,  now  known  as  Punch- 
bowl, Leahi,  now  called  Diamond  Head,  and  Koko ; 
she  left  Koko  Head  for  Mauna  Loa  on  Molokai, 
and  after  touching  at  many  spots,  she  finally  settled 
at  Kilauea  on  Hawaii.  The  fires  lighted  by  her 
then  in  her  volcano-house  are  still  burning,  for 

64 


HAWAII 

this  mountain  is  always  at  work,  and  is  to-day  the 
largest  active  volcano  in  the  world. 

After  riding  about  the  one-time  home  of  this 
fire-goddess,  we  returned  to  the  Moana  Hotel  at 
Waikiki,  where  we  donned  bathing-suits  and  took 
a  surf  ride. 

This  is  the  national  sport  and,  being  at  all  times 
sufficiently  thrilling,  must  be  taken  in  a  high  surf, 
a  tremendous  experience.  The  boats  are  long,  deep 
and  very  narrow  canoes,  with  an  outrigger  at  one 
side  to  keep  them  from  tipping. 

Two  natives,  and  they  must  be  skilled,  usually 
operate  these  canoes.  Three  or  four  passengers 
at  a  time  are  taken  out,  the  natives  rowing  with 
broad  paddles  a  quarter  or  half  mile  from  the 
shore,  where  they  wait  for  a  large  wave.  With 
the  nicest  precision  they  keep  ahead  of  it,  just  as 
it  breaks,  and  are  carried  smoothly  in,  poised  on 
its  crest.  I  sat  facing  the  stern,  and  the  experi- 
ence was  something  to  remember,  the  swift  bird- 
like  swoop  of  the  canoe,  with  the  white,  seething 
wall  of  water  behind  it,  apparently  just  about  to 
engulf  us.  After  we  were  safely  on  shore  again 
they  told  us  stories  of  how  the  wave,  if  the  rowers 
miscalculate,  will  break  over  the  canoe,  driving  it 
to  the  bottom. 

When  we  were  out,  the  high  waves  were  not  very 
frequent,  and  the  natives  splashed  drops  of  water 
from  their  paddles  toward  the  sea  to  coax  the 

65 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

waves  in.  The  old  Hawaiian  in  the  stern  admon- 
ished us  to  be  patient,  for,  he  solemnly  assured  us, 
the  big  waves  would  come  in  when  they  smelt  the 
canoe.  The  native  boys  take  their  surf  rides  more 
simply,  but  in  a  more  hazardous  manner.  They 
go  out  with  long  polished  palm-boards  and,  stand- 
ing balanced  upon  them,  come  riding  in,  appar- 
ently standing  on  the  boiling  crest  of  the  wave. 
They  do  this  for  hours  at  a  time,  frequently  re- 
maining in  the  water  all  day. 

The  Moana  Hotel  is  very  attractively  situated 
close  to  the  sea  where  its  many-changing  tints  of 
blue  and  green  are  intensified  by  the  surrounding 
foliage. 

The  entire  city  of  Honolulu  is  built  among  the 
most  luxuriant  vegetation,  the  royal  palm,  with  tall, 
silvery  trunk  and  crown  of  shining  leaves,  over- 
topping everything.  There  are  few  more  majestic 
sights  than  an  avenue  of  these  royal  trees.  Banana- 
trees  with  their  broad  leaves  are  favorites  in  the 
gardens,  and  together  with  the  many-colored  foli- 
age plants,  hedges  of  scarlet  hibiscus  and  arbors 
of  the  inevitable  Bougainvillea,  with  its  clustering 
purple  blossoms,  make  a  riot  of  color  as  charming 
as  it  is  novel  to  Western  eyes. 

The  crops  are  phenomenal  in  this  favored  land, 
three  harvests  of  rice  being  gathered  each  year. 
Enormous  crops  of  bananas  are  exported  and 
sugar,  the  principal  export,  is,  in  its  cultivation, 

66 


HAWAII 

brought  more  nearly  to  a  science  here  than  in  any 
other  country  where  it  is  raised.  There  is  an  en- 
closure, given  up  to  experiments  for  the  common 
use  of  the  planters,  and  ground  is  never  opened 
until  it  has  undergone  a  thorough  chemical  test, 
and  the  essential  qualities  made  sure  of,  or  added, 
if  lacking. 

When  the  Hawaiian  Islands  became  a  part  of  the 
United  States,  the  Chinese  Exclusion  Bill  of  course 
affected  them  to  the  great  detriment  of  labor  in 
the  sugar  plantations.  Chinese  coolie  labor  was  the 
best  to  be  had,  and,  cut  off  from  procuring  it,  the 
sugar  raisers  suffered  proportionately. 

They  imported  labor  from  Porto  Rico,  but  it  has 
proved  to  be  an  unsuccessful  experiment,  as  the 
element  introduced  is  not  desirable,  fomenting  dis- 
sension and  being  lazy  and  generally  shiftless. 
On  the  other  hand,  the  Chinaman  is  industrious, 
law-abiding,  sober  and  honest.  But  the  native 
population  of  Hawaii,  combined  with  that  of  the 
whites  and  Chinese,  is  only  a  fraction  of  the  total 
of  the  Japanese,  and  more  of  the  latter  are  arriving 
at  a  rapid  rate,  hundreds  of  these  being  veterans 
of  the  late  war  with  Russia.  They  come  ostensibly 
to  follow  the  peaceful  pursuits  of  agriculture  or 
merchandise  but,  as  the  old  saying  goes,  you  never 
can  tell! 

I  found  a  great  dislike  in  Honolulu  toward  the 
Japanese,  but  a  universal  admiration,  and  affection 
67 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE    WORLD 

even,  for  the  Chinese  working-class.  This  opinion 
I  find  confirmed  by  all  those  who  have  had  experi- 
ence with  both  races. 

Since  the  islands  have  been  a  territory  of  the 
United  States,  they  have  conducted  their  affairs 
with  praiseworthy  results,  their  ultimate  hope  being 
Statehood,  of  which  they  are  surely  more  worthy — 
their  annexation  being  voluntary — than  are  those 
which  have  been  taken  by  force  of  arms. 

The  early  Spanish  navigators,  somewhere  in  the 
16th  century,  knew  these  islands,  but  their  practical 
discoverer  was  Captain  Cook,  who  landed  upon 
Kauai  in  1778,  and  during  the  following  year 
skirted  the  entire  archipelago,  finally  meeting  his 
death  at  the  hands  of  the  natives,  who,  when  he 
first  landed,  had  worshiped  him  as  a  god. 

The  English  have  raised  a  monument  to  the 
explorer,  and  it  is  one  of  the  most  frequented  spots 
on  the  island  of  Hawaii.  Captain  Cook  named  the 
group  after  his  patron,  Lord  Sandwich,  and  such 
they  were  called  for  more  than  a  century. 

O  lovely  island  world!  Where  else  in  the  uni- 
verse is  there  a  spot  made  up  wholly  of  beauty  and 
peace?  where  man — and  even  woman — can  cease 
worrying  about  stocks,  franchises,  new  bonnets,  real 
estate,  society,  insurance,  politics  and  all  the  rest 
that  go  to  make  up  the  pandemonium  of  existence, 
and  settle  down  in  the  shade  of  a  palm-tree — royal, 
coco,  wine,  cabbage,  screw,  fan  or  native — he  has  a 

68 


HAWAII 

choice  of  seven — unbutton  his  shirt-collar  and  smoke 
the  pipe  of  forgetfulness.  What  a  place  for  a  dear 
little  lamb-like  jag,  a  one-finger  poi  racket — with  a 
banana,  a  mango  and  any  old  kind  of  a  jingo 
thrown  in — that  leaves  no  seal-brown,  burnt-wood 
taste  in  the  mouth  and  conjures  up  no  visions  of 
ravaging  beast  or  devouring  serpent!  No  need  in 
this  antibibulous  Paradise  to  pattern  after  the 
man  in  Poughkeepsie — the  hardest  drinker  in  town 
— who  was  induced,  after  much  pleading  on  the 
part  of  his  long-suffering  wife  to  sign  the  pledge; 
and  strange  to  say,  he  kept  it,  for  a  few  days,  dur- 
ing which  he  met  a  friend  who  proposed  a  ' '  smile. ' ' 

"Can't;  I've  sworn  off,"  said  Bill. 

"You're  a  liar!"  responded  his  friend. 

Whereupon  Bill  muttered,  fervently,  "God 
knows  I  hope  you're  right!" 

O  happy  Hawaii!  that  hath  no  poisonous  rep- 
tiles, no  noxious  plants,  no  pestiferous  insects — not 
even  mosquitoes,  those  one-time  plagues  having  been 
practically  exterminated  by  the  same  methods  used 
in  the  United  States. 

Tis  not  I  that  can  do  you  justice!  Let  my 
friend  Charley  Stoddard,  with  his  prose-poem- 
paragraphs  and  his  mellifluous  periods  do  the  job 
for  me.  When  he  sits  down  with  his  pen  dipt 
in  honey,  and  his  mouth  full  of  guava- jelly  to  reel 
off  a  few  reams  of  ecstatic  English  in  praise  of  his 
beloved  islands,  he  makes  the  rest  of  us  feel  like 

69 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE    WORLD 

thirty  cents.  And  when  he  declares  that  he  has 
traveled  the  wide  world  over,  but  never,  never  has 
he  seen  a  spot  to  equal  this — why,  what  can  we 
do  but  say,  ' '  Same  here,  old  man ! ' ' 

I  spent  considerable  time  on  the  architecture  of 
the  Hawaiian  language,  but  never  got  much  above 
the  ground  floor ;  but  if  I  had  stayed  in  the  cellar, 
it  would  have  been  just  the  same,  for  I  could  make 
but  one  thing  out  of  it  and  that  was  that  the  whole 
structure  is  built  upon  the  letter  K.  They  can't 
get  along  without  that  K.  They  must  stick  it  into 
everything. 

For  instance,  if  you  want  to  make  a  tour  of  the 
Islands,  you  take  the  little  steamer  "Kilauea" — 
that  is  to  say,  you  could  take  it  once  upon  a  time; 
but  they  saw  fit  to  tire  of  the  name,  and  changed 
it  to  "Kinau";  then  when  they  wanted  something 
more  romantic  and  English,  they  called  it — not 
"Sea-Bird,"  mind  you!  or  "Ocean  Spray,"  or 
' '  Flying  Scud '  '—but ' '  Like-like. ' '  Can 't  get  along 
without  the  K!  So  you  sail  around  in  little  old 
"Like-like,"  and  somewhere  or  anywhere — it  don't 
make  any  difference  which,  for  it's  sure  to  begin 
with  a  K — you  make  a  landing,  and  lo !  it  is  called 
Kalahui;  just  as  good  a  name  as  any  for  a  port 
of  entry,  if  you  don't  mind  koming  in  through 
the  kustoms  in  that  way.  It's  a  breezy  little  port, 
with  a  kourt-house  and  a  klub — good  fellows,  too — 
and  a  mercantile  marine,  and  a  railway,  and  a 

70 


HAWAII 

wreck  in  the  harbor,  and  all  of  'em  belonging  to 
Kalahui. 

If  you  speak  of  the  thriving  plantations  that 
back  the  harbor,  they'll  be  sure  to  ask  you  if  you've 
noticed  the  Kalo  patches?  Kalo  may  be  French 
for  kabbages  or  karnations — you  don't  give  a  kon- 
tinentaJ  either  way — but  you  smile,  and  say, 
"Great!  wouldn't  mind  having  a  korner  in  Kalo 
some  day!" 

Then,  if  you  want  to  take  a  sea-bath,  or  stroll 
on  the  sands,  they'll  tell  you  that  Kalepolepo  is 
the  place.  To  be  sure,  Kale  is  not  what  she  "used 
to  was."  Like  those  patient  ladies-in-waiting  (old 
maids)  she  is  rather  ancient  and  out-of-date.  But 
her  sister  Kalahui,  she  got  on  the  inside  track  in 
the  start,  when  she  kaught  on  to  Klaus — you  know 
Klaus;  his  other  name  is  Spreckels;  he's  in  the 
sugar  business,  and  Kalahui  got  herself  made  into 
a  port  of  entry  for  Spreckelsville,  the  thrivingest 
home  of  the  sugar-cane  industry  there  is  on  the 
eight  islands. 

But  to  come  back  to  our  muttons.  It  was  on  the 
beach  of  Kalepolepo  that  King  Kamehameha — 
Kamehameha  the  conqueror — landed  with  his 
flotilla  of  canoes.  He  crossed  the  nearest  stream, 
and  immediately  a  Kapu  was  put  on  it — not  a 
bridge,  nor  a  canoe,  mind  you!  not  even  an  attach- 
ment— but  just  a  Kapu,  a  mean  little  word  of  two 
syllables  beginning  with  a  K,  and  it  meant  that, 

71 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

forever  after,  that  stream  was  sacred  to  royalty, 
and  no  other  kind  of  a  fellow  must  put  his  foot  on 
it  As  if  anybody  would  want  to ! — not  on  a  Kapu 
anyway. 

Then,  if  you  prefer  still-bathing,  there  is  the 
pool  of  Kapena;  if  you  want  to  play  a  game  of 
bowls,  it's  the  Kanaka  boys  that  set  up  the  pins 
for  you;  if  you  want  a  cup  of  coffee,  you  must 
drink  the  native  brand  called  Kona,  that  they  will 
tell  you  knocks  the  p  's  and  beans  out  of  old  Mocha 
every  time. 

If  you  want  to  go  up  a  mountain,  of  course  it 
must  be  Haleakala;  it's  only  got  one  K  in  it,  by 
the  way,  but  it's  got  the  biggest  krater  at  the  top 
of  it  you  ever  saw  or  heard  of — twenty  miles  in  cir- 
cumference and  two  thousand  feet  deep.  It's  stone- 
dead — entirely  gone  out  of  business;  but  in  my 
opinion  that's  an  advantage  of  two-to-one  on  any 
live  crater.  If  you  want  to  go  up  another  mountain 
try  Kalauea.  It's  only  another  K  and  the  avenue 
that  leads  out  to  it  is  a  magnificent  boulevard  set 
out  on  either  side  with  breadfruit-trees,  mangoes, 
and  alligator  pears.  Kalauea  is  the  biggest  thing 
in  the  live  crater  business  in  the  world — a  lake  of 
fire  1,200  feet  long  and  500  wide,  with  a  surface 
measure  of  12  acres.  You  hold  your  breath  and 
say  your  prayers ;  and,  when  a  gust  of  wind  carries 
away  the  blinding  steam  and  smoke,  you  look 
down,  down  500  feet  into  a  veritable  hell-fire  lake, 

72 


HAWAII 

whose  waves  of  flame  rise  and  fall  in  convulsive 
throes  that  shake  the  very  heart  out  of  your  body — 
in  other  words  the  thing  has  fits  to  beat  the  band, 
and  you  wish  you  hadn't  come!  But  you  get  all 
over  it  by  the  next  day,  and  if  you  want  to  calm 
your  mind  and  restore  your  nerves,  you  take  a  nice, 
quiet  stroll  down  Kukui  Place  and  kommune  with 
Nature. 

Finally,  if  you've  done  anything  you  oughtn't 
to  and  get  arrested  and  taken  to  the  lockup,  you 
run  up  against  the  biggest  bunch  of  k's  in  the 
whole  business.  The  name  of  the  "Jug"  is  Kah- 
leamakakaparakapili. 

That  got  me !  I  was  kompletely  kerflummuxed — 
down  and  out.  As  far  as  studying  the  Hawaiian 
language  goes,  I  'm  a  kwitter ! 

We  were  indebted  to  my  good  friend  Mr.  John 
Atkinson,  Lieutenant-Governor  of  Hawaii,  for 
many  courtesies  during  our  stay  in  the  Islands. 
The  Governor  being  absent,  the  hospitalities  of  the 
occasion  fell  upon  his  lieutenant,  and  most  agreea- 
bly were  they  dispensed.  Mr.  Atkinson  is  said  to 
be  the  handsomest  bachelor  in  the  eight  islands, 
and  why  he  should  be  a  bachelor  at  all  is  one  of 
those  things  no  fellow  can  find  out.  At  any  rate, 
he  is  in  demand  for  any  and  all  social  functions 
that  may  arise ;  and  the  ladies  are  all  of  one  mind 
that  nothing  can  be  quite  as  it  should  be  unless 
graced  by  the  presence  of  the  amiable  Lieutenant- 

73 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

Governor.  As  a  surf-rider,  I  am  willing  to  back 
him  against  any  Kanaka  in  the  business.  He  took 
us  out  in  one  of  the  boats  used  for  that  purpose, 
and  actually  brought  us  back  again  alive.  Talk 
about  shooting  the  rapids!  I  think  he  could  shoot 
anything — even  the  apple  off  the  head  of  the  Will- 
iam Tell  kid  without  making  him  so  much  as  wink. 

The  Lieutenant-Governor  was  born  in  one  of  the 
middle  Western  States  and  went  to  Hawaii  when 
young  and  grew  up  there,  so  that  what  he  doesn't 
know  about  that  part  of  the  country  isn't  worth 
talking  about.  At  first  American  Commissioner 
and  later  Lieutenant-Governor,  Mr.  Atkinson  has 
made  hosts  of  friends,  and  no  man  is  better  known. 

The  former  palace  of  King  Kalakaua — and  few 
more  gorgeous  and  beautiful  ever  housed  royalty — 
is  inhabited  by  the  representatives  of  the  United 
States;  and  when  Mr.  Atkinson — accustomed  to 
the  splendor  of  his  official  residence — made  his  first 
visit  to  the  States  and  beheld  the  modest  domicil 
that  houses  our  Presidents,  he  could  scarcely  be- 
lieve his  eyesight.  As  soon  as  he  was  able  to  speak, 
he  ejaculated,  "Well,  this  is  truly  a  republican 
country ! ' ' 

He  recommended  me  to  visit  the  famous  silver 
temple  of  Kinkakuji  when  I  got  to  Japan,  with 
its  tea-ceremony  room  eighty  feet  square,  mat 
measurement. 

"Don't  forget  the  name,  now!     Kinkakuji!" 
74 


HAWAII 

"No,  you  don't,  Jack!"    I  replied,  hastily. 

"No,  you  don't!  No  more  kinky-k  business  for 
me !  I  wouldn  't  get  that  spelling-bee  in  my  bonnet 
a  second  time  for  twice  your  year's  salary!  And 
what's  more,  if  you  stay  in  this  k-country  any 
longer,  a  single  man,  without  a  wife  to  help  you 
wrestle  with  the  bunch  of  k's  you're  up  against, 
year  in  and  year  out,  you'll  turn  out  worse  than 
young  Charley  Blank,  who  was  so  nervous  the  eve- 
ning he  was  to  be  married,  that  he  got  the  minister 
alone  in  the  upper  hall,  and  begged  him  to  give 
him  all  the  points  that  he  possibly  could  about  the 
ceremony. ' ' 

"Now,  Mr.  Bind- 'em,"  he  quavered,  "speaking 
as  a  bridegroom,  you  know — do  tell  me,  is  it  kis- 
tomary  to  cuss  the  bride?" 

We  spent  our  last  night  at  the  islands  aboard 
ship,  as  we  were  to  sail  at  dawn;  and  our  last 
look  at  their  happy  shores  was  at  sunset — a  golden 
calm,  shaded  by  roseate  clouds — which  shed  a  ben- 
ison  of  beauty  over  the  tranquil  scene.  We  smiled 
a  last  farewell  at  everything — the  happy  homes, 
embowered  in  luxuriant  foliage;  the  clustered 
palms;  the  distant  mountains  looming  up  in  shad- 
owed majesty;  the  vague  outline  of  the  channel, 
fringed  with  foam;  the  chocolate  figures  of  the 
Kanaka  boys,  poised  on  a  canoe's  edge  or  slipping 
down  into  the  waves  with  a  shout  of  glee ;  the  flash- 
ing surf;  the  near-by  rocks,  shading  from  browns 

75 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

to  blues  and  then  to  royal  purple;  the  clustered 
shipping;  the  busy  harbor,  settling  down  to  the 
calm  of  evening — it  was  a  picture  of  beauty  to 
linger  long  in  the  memory.  Aloha!  and  farewell 
to  thee,  Hawaii! 

From  Honolulu  to  Yokohama  is  a  passage  almost 
without  incident.  Life  on  shipboard  is  made  up 
of  the  usual  routine,  varied  by  ingenious  devices 
to  kill  time.  The  young  men  enjoy  the  swimming- 
tank  on  the  forward  deck  which  the  ship's  carpen- 
ter has  rigged  and  lashed  with  skill  and  security. 
The  thermometer  registers  summer  heat,  and  offi- 
cers, passengers  and  crew  are  now  habited  in  the 
lightest  and  coolest  attire.  Early  rising  is  a  fad 
with  the  majority,  the  sailors  especially  choosing 
the  early  morning  hours  in  which  to  exercise  their 
passion  for  cleanliness.  If  this  doesn't  arouse  the 
sleeper,  the  neighboring  children  will.  Like  the 
blueberry  crop  in  Nova  Scotia,  the  crop  of  little 
ones  never  fails. 

I  had  a  tiny  neighbor — a  veritable  matutinal 
lark — who  began  at  5  A.  M.  Did  you  ever  notice, 
while  traveling,  that  children  are  like  dogs  and 
roosters  in  the  country — it  needs  only  one  to  start 
all  the  others  going? 

Cards  and  games  of  all  sorts  filled  the  afternoons. 
A  concert  was  given  one  evening  and  a  mock  trial 
another.  The  latter  was  very  amusing;  the  culprit 
was  arrested  on  the  charge  of  being  a  bachelor,  and 

76 


HAWAII 

found  guilty  by  a  jury  of  ladies.  The  judge  and 
attorneys  wore  imposing  wigs  cleverly  made  of 
rope  by  the  sailors. 

The  Pacific  is  so  big,  in  comparison  to  the  busi- 
ness done  on  it,  that  there  are  days  in  succession 
in  which  not  a  sail  is  sighted,  yet  we  had  a  fellow 
passenger  who  always  paced  the  deck  with  a  tel- 
escope which  he  would  suddenly  extend  to  full 
length  and  peer  through  it  as  intently  as  if  in 
search  of  the  fag-end  of  futurity  or  the  fantom 
sails  of  the  Flying  Dutchman.  Then  there  was  the 
woman  who  asked  the  captain  if  "that  was  the 
same  moon  we  used  to  see  in  New  York?"  while  a 
more  ancient  member  of  the  sex,  with  a  face  like 
the  breaking  up  of  a  hard  winter,  took  in  every- 
thing and  everybody  on  deck,  and  then  at  the 
dinner-table  took  in  everything  within  reach.  This 
old  lady  one  day  said  to  Captain  Porter:  " Cap- 
tain, I  don't  see  how  you  find  your  way  across — 
isn't  it  hard?"  "Oh,  no,"  said  the  Captain,  giving 
me  a  sly  wink,  "all  the  waves  are  numbered." 

All  Pacific  Mail  steamers  are  carefully  protected 
by  a  rigid  practise  in  fire  and  life-saving  drill.  At 
the  tap  of  the  bell,  the  crew  spring  to  their  places 
by  boat  and  raft;  each  officer,  with  a  pistol  hung 
at  his  side,  takes  his  station ;  and  the  precision  and 
quickness  with  which  it  is  all  accomplished  in- 
spire the  beholder  with  very  comfortable  feelings. 

The  life-drill  is  practised  in  case  some  one  should 
77 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE    WORLD 

fall  overboard.  Certain  members  of  the  crew  are 
assigned  to  this  duty,  ready  at  any  moment  to 
throw  out  life-lines,  buoys  that  strike  a  light  when 
they  hit  the  water,  or  man  the  emergency  life-boat 
that  is  kept  in  position  to  be  lowered  instantly. 

But  we  are  approaching  the  shores  of  Japan. 
The  wide  stretch  of  waters  that  we  have  so  safely 
and  pleasantly  traversed  is  even  now  but  a  mem- 
ory ;  and  every  heart  is  beating  high  with  pleasant 
anticipations.  The  tackle  for  hoisting  baggage  is 
being  geared,  the  accommodation  stairways  put  in 
place;  and  every  fresh  preparation  seems  to  tell 
us  that  our  long  voyage  is  swiftly  drawing  to  a 
close. 


78 


IV 
JAPAN 

Yeddo  Bay — Sacred  Fujiyama — The  Fall  of  the  Great 
Official — Taking  Temperatures — Mountain  Pilgrims — 
Tattooed  Sampan  Bowers — Grand  Hotel,  Yokohama — 
Manager  Eppinger  —  Captain  Davies '  Kindness  and 
Courtesy  to  Us — Biding  in  a  'Bicksha — Paymaster 
McDonald  of  U.  S.  Navy — Shrine  and  Tea- House — 
Accomplished  Madam  Fujita — Clean,  Little  Japan — 
The  Japanese  Student  in  London — "Please  Wipe  Your 
Feet" — Everything  Small — Famous  Flower  Festivals — 
Japanese  Art  as  a  Brainstorm — Taken  Seriously  from 
the  Connoisseur's  Standpoint. 

THE  approach  to  the  shores  of  Japan  is  made 
slowly.  We  pass  through  several  novel  ex- 
periences before  entering  the  breakwaters 
of  Yokohama.  The  broad  bay  of  Yeddo,  with  the 
famous  sacred  mountain  of  Fujiyama  —  white- 
capped,  majestic,  beautiful — outlined  in  the  dis- 
tance, fills  the  eye  with  a  commanding  interest 
whose  completeness  it  would  seem  impossible  to 
dispel.  But  this  is  achieved,  however,  and  very 
thoroughly  by  the  arrival  of  the  health  officers, 
who  approached  the  steamer  in  a  tender  and  imme- 

79 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

diately  furnished  whatever  element  of  absurdity 
had  been  previously  lacking. 

Japan  compels  a  more  rigorous  examination  at 
her  various  ports  of  entry  than  any  other  country. 
China  makes  no  examination  whatever,  perhaps 
on  the  principle  that  it  is  difficult  to  sweeten  a 
bad  egg. 

All  holders  of  official  positions  in  Japan  are 
obliged  to  wear  European  dress;  and  the  little 
Japs  who  boarded  our  steamer,  looked  in  their  long, 
green  coats,  elaborately  ornamented,  like  school- 
boys in  their  fathers'  clothes.  They  are  very  im- 
portant little  people,  you  must  know;  but  one  of 
them  came  to  grief  in  a  manner  as  speedy  as  it  was 
unexpected. 

The  most  "chesty"  of  the  bunch,  in  stepping 
from  the  tug  to  the  little  platform  that  formed  the 
bottom  step  of  the  ladder  leading  up  the  ship's 
side,  lost  his  balance,  and  was  only  saved  from 
immersion  in  the  icy  water  by  clutching  at  the 
bunch  of  chains  underneath  the  platform,  where 
he  clung,  with  feet  drawn  up  to  his  chin,  appar- 
ently conscious  of  the  danger  as  well  as  absurdity 
of  his  position;  for  the  water  was  very  rough  as 
well  as  cold,  and  the  waves  were  banging  the  ten- 
der against  the  platform  in  a  most  unpleasant  man- 
ner. I  had  likened  the  little  fellows,  when  they 
first  came  alongside,  to  the  immortal  "Artful 
Dodger,"  but  this  particular  Dodger  was  having 

80 


A  Public  School 

A  Wayside  Shrine  A  Fair  Smoker 

Sightseeing  in  Tokyo 


JAPAN 

all  he  could  do  to  dodge  what  was  coming  to  him 
until  the  sixth  officer,  perceiving  the  situation,  tore 
headlong  down  the  steps,  seized  him  by  the  collar 
of  his  splendid  green  coat  and  hauled  him  up  the 
ladder  like  a  wet  kitten.  "O  what  a  fall  was 
there,  my  countrymen!"  Prom  the  grandeur  of 
his  gold-green  garments  and  the  weight  of  his  offi- 
cial dignity  to  this! — a  cold,  clammy,  collapsed 
kitten  in  the  clutch  of  a  foreign  ship's  officer. 
Poor  little  Jappy!  I  wonder  if  he  had  ever  writ- 
ten in  his  copy-book  at  school  that  o'er-true  max- 
im, "Pride  goeth  before  a  fall." 

Later,  assembled  in  the  dining-saloon,  the  entire 
company  of  the  ship's  passengers  might  have  been 
seen,  each  with  a  thermometer  sticking  in  his  or 
her  mouth,  the  while  the  little  company  of  health 
officers  took  their  temperature  with  the  utmost 
gravity  and  precision.  The  scene  was  uproariously 
funny.  Many  of  the  passengers  laughed  until  they 
cried — the  male  portion — but  one  irate  female  pro- 
tested that  the  humiliation  was  a  disgrace!  the 
nervous  strain  was  enough  to  send  up  the  tempera- 
ture of — well,  of  an  angel  from  Heaven!  If  she 
had  said  the  other  place,  now — but  we  anticipate. 

To  come  back  to  the  sacred  Fujiyama,  this  moun- 
tain which  dominates  the  landscape  much  as  Table 
Rock  does  the  eye  of  the  traveler  approaching  Cape 
Town,  South  Africa,  is  worshiped  by  the  Japanese 
people  as  an  embodied  god.  It  broods  over  the 

81 


SMILING    HOUND   THE   WORLD 

land  and  the  wide  harbor  like  a  guardian  spirit, 
rearing  itself  12,365  feet  in  the  air  from  a  sur- 
rounding country  that  is  almost  level.  An  annual 
visit  from  thousands  of  pilgrims  who  climb  its 
steep  sides  in  the  hope  of  gaining  spiritual  favor 
and  protection  is  one  of  the  most  striking  events 
in  connection  with  this  portion  of  the  country. 
There's  one  good  point  about  this  old  god,  if  he 
is  one,  he  always  keeps  a  cool  head;  he  has  to,  for 
there  is  a  perpetual  snow-cap  on  it,  half  a  mile 
thick. 

From  the  steamer  we  went  ashore  in  a  tender — 
that  is,  to  within  a  hundred  feet  of  the  landing 
place,  where,  owing  to  the  tide  being  low,  we  were 
put  out  into  a  sampan  propelled  by  one  long  oar, 
wielded  by  a  decorative  Japanese  figure  in  a  blue 
and  white  cotton  kimono. 

We  were  not  long  without  an  example  of  the 
hardiness  of  the  race,  for,  as  we  turned  toward  the 
shore  the  breeze  lifted  the  thin  cotton  kimono  and 
showed  us  that  our  propelling  power  was  drest 
underneath  principally  in  a  suit  of  beautiful  blue 
tattooing.  As  good  a  garment  as  any — certainly  a 
skin-tight  fit,  and  warranted  not  to  shrink. 

We  landed  at  the  Custom  House,  and  after  some 
preliminaries  were  driven  to  the  Grand  Hotel. 
This  hostelry — dear  to  the  hearts  of  tourists — has 
been  an  institution  from  time  immemorial,  and  is 
managed  by  an  American  with  a  German  name, 

82 


JAPAN 

who  has  been  its  proprietor  for  an  equally  remote 
period.  Mr.  Louis  Eppinger  has  grown  gray  and 
almost  blind  in  the  service  of  catering  to  the  pub- 
lic; and,  owing  to  the  infirmities  of  age  and  rheu- 
matism, is  carried  up-  and  down-stairs  in  a  chair 
by  his  two  Jap  boys. 

I  recall  with  pleasure  the  name  of  Captain  Da- 
vies,  late  Commander  in  the  English  merchant  ma- 
rine, whose  connection  with  the  Grand  Hotel  made 
our  sojourn  at  that  house  most  enjoyable.  Captain 
Davies  is  now  manager  of  the  Astor  House  at 
Shanghai,  and  a  more  genial  and  hospitable  gen- 
tleman never  carried  out  the  duties  of  that  posi- 
tion. His  personal  kindness  to  me,  while  at  Yoko- 
hama, has  made  me  his  debtor  for  life.  Not  only 
was  he  most  painstaking  in  promoting  the  enter- 
tainments which  I  gave  at  the  Grand,  but  the  kind 
thoughtfulness  that  pervaded  all  his  attentions  to 
us  lingers  most  pleasantly  in  our  memories. 

The  cuisine  at  the  Grand  reminded  us  most 
pleasantly  of  home  and  the  famous  hotels  of  Amer- 
ica. A  daily  novelty  at  luncheon  was  the  serving 
of  one  or  two  Japanese  dishes,  notably  a  tiny  pud- 
ding baked  in  a  dish,  the  principal  ingredient  be- 
ing rice  with  chopped  meat,  or  chicken,  in  the  cen- 
ter, and  peppers,  or  something  else — it  would  be 
difficult  to  tell  just  what — with  a  soy  dressing. 
Soy,  which  tastes  rather  like  Worcestershire  sauce, 
tho  milder,  is  the  Oriental  groundwork  for  all 

83 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

strong  sauces,  especially  Worcestershire,  there  be- 
ing over  a  million  gallons  exported  annually  for 
that  purpose.  I  was  told  that  soy  was  made  chiefly 
of  fermented  bean-curd,  the  latter  being  the  foun- 
dation of  much  of  the  diet  of  the  country. 

At  Kobe"  and  at  Tokyo  we  found  the  hotels  vari- 
ously attractive,  and  vice  versa.  One  at  Kobe 
might  have  boasted  with  much  correctness  of  its 
handsome,  spacious  rooms  and  most  inviting  beds; 
but  over  its  cuisine  it  were  best  to  draw  the  veil  of 
charity.  One  at  Tokyo  was  an  imposing  build- 
ing, also  with  a  poor  cuisine,  and  most  unequal 
heating  arrangements.  Grate  fires  made  the  rooms 
almost  unbearable,  while  the  halls  were  like  unto 
the  polar  regions. 

"I  do  not  like  this  hotel  at  all!"  said  a  lady 
guest.  ' '  It  is  run  in  such  a  cold  way ! ' '  She  meant 
the  management,  whose  frigid  aloofness  and  lack 
of  interest  sent  the  social  atmosphere  down  to  zero. 
In  fact,  it  put  me  in  mind  of  a  Southern  revival 
where  the  colored  preacher,  who  was  boasting  of 
"the  powerful  outpourin'  of  de  spirit,"  was  asked 
if  he  had  warned  his  people  against  stealing  chick- 
ens. "Dat  would  nebber  do,  boss!  Yo'  see  it 
would  trow  sich  a  coldness  on  de  meetin'!" 

Our  first  outing, 'to  view  the  "sights"  of  Yoko- 
hama, including  the  environs  of  the  city,  took  place 
on  a  beautiful  bright  morning,  somewhere  in  the 
neighborhood  of  Hallowe'en,  as  we  should  have 

84 


JAPAN 

said,  had  we  been  in  dear  old  America.  One  could 
not  possibly  conjure  up  the  odor  of  roast  apples, 
much  less  frost  upon  the  window-panes,  far  from 
it!  When  I  got  into  a  jinrikisha — the  little  two- 
wheeled  cart,  drawn  by  a  man — I  had  never  felt 
so  unbalanced  in  my  life.  I  didn't  know  whether 
I  was  going  to  fall  out  onto  the  man,  or  the  cart 
was  going  to  fall  back  onto  me;  but  as  soon  as  he 

I          got  started  into  a  brisk  jog-trot  I  felt  better,  and 
pretty  soon  decided  that  I  never  enjoyed  a  ride 

I          so  much  in  my  life. 

The  word  jin-riki-sha  means  literally,  according 
to  Professor  Chamberlain  of  Tokyo,  man-power  ve- 
hicle, that  is,  a  vehicle  pulled  by  a  man.  Or,  as 
some  Englishman  with  the  flash-light  wit  for  which 
his  countrymen  are  so  justly  (?)  celebrated,  called 
it  a  ' ' pull-man-car. "  I  don't  recall  the  English- 
man's name,  but  I  think  he  is  dead;  that  is,  I  heard 
he  was — yes,  I'm  quite  sure  he's  dead.  He  ought 
to  be,  anyway. 

The  word  jin-riki-sha,  according  to  Professor 
Chamberlain,  is  variously  pronounced  and  spelled. 
The  Japanese  cut  off  its  tail,  and  call  it  jinriki; 
the  English  cut  off  its  head  and  pronounce  it  uni- 
versally 'ricksha.  One  dictionary  man  (English, 
of  course)  gives  it  jenny  rickshaw.  I'm  afraid  he 
isn't  dead. 

There  are  over  40,000  'rickshas  and  a  third  more 
than  that  number  of  'ricksha-men  in  Tokyo  alone; 

85 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

and  the  principal  ports  of  China,  India,  and  the 
Malay  peninsula,  as  well  as  those  of  Japan,  owe 
to  the  'ricksha  a  fruitful  source  of  income  for  their 
teeming  coolie  population.  It  is  the  favorite  mode 
of  travel  for  the  well-to-do.  These  'ricksha-men 
will  run  all  day  as  fast  as  a  pretty  good  horse,  and 
earn  about  fifty  cents.  Only  fifteen  of  this  is  theirs, 
however,  as  many  men  work  for  a  master — ("Pa- 
rent," as  the  Japanese  call  it) — who  owns  perhaps 
twenty  or  thirty  'rickshas,  and  reckons  with  his 
men  twice  monthly.  In  large  cities  a  man  may 
earn  as  high  as  30  yen  a  month  by  this  humble  oc- 
cupation, that  is,  more  than  the  salary  of  many  a 
small  official  of  several  years'  standing,  not  to 
speak  of  the  excitement,  amusement  and  independ- 
ence of  the  occupation.  No  wonder,  says  Profes- 
sor Chamberlain,  that  fresh  batches  of  lads  from 
the  country  pour  in  to  replace  those  whom  con- 
sumption and  heart-disease — the  result  of  cold  and 
overexertion — only  too  swiftly  remove  from  the 
busy  scene. 

My  'ricksha-man  could  speak  a  little  English, 
so  called,  and  had  a  pleasant,  smiling  countenance. 
He  wore  his  number  on  the  back  of  his  hat,  as  the 
custom  is,  that  the  "fare"  may  have  it  always  in 
view.  I  didn't  ask  him  if  his  earnings  were  equal 
to  his  needs,  or  if  he  had  a  large  family  to  sup- 
port, or  any  other  little  matters  of  that  kind,  for 
I  was  afraid  my  Japanese  or  his  English  wouldn't 

86 


JAPAN 

hold  out;  but  I  did  want  to  tell  him  a  little  story, 
only  I  couldn't  for  the  same  reason. 

It  was  about  the  Irishman  who  was  looking  for 
a  job,  and  saw  a  sign  in  a  bookseller's  window: 
"Porter  wanted."  "That'll  suit  me!"  he  said, 
and  entered  the  shop,  when  he  was  confronted  by 
another:  "Dickens'  Works — all  this  week — for  ten 
dollars."  The  Irishman  read  off  the  sign,  regard- 
less of  stops  or  commas : 

"Dickens  works  all  this  week  for  ten  dollars, 
does  he?  Well,  be  gob!  let  him.  .  I'm  a  Union 
man!" 

But  our  peregrinations  were  not  confined  to  the 
'ricksha  mode  of  locomotion,  thanks  to  the  cour- 
tesy of  that  very  hospitable  gentleman  Mr.  Mc- 
Donald, Paymaster  for  the  Eastern  Division  of  the 
U.  S.  Navy,  who  sent  his  carriage  to  us  every  day — 
a  victoria  with  a  Jap  coachman  in  blue  linen  liv- 
ery and  a  mushroom  hat. 

Mr.  McDonald  was  at  that  time  stationed  at  Yo- 
kohama, and  has  the  delightful  ease  and  polish  of 
manner  so  distinctive  of  all  naval  gentlemen. 

The  country  is  very  beautiful.  In  a  trip  to  a 
famous  tea-house  we  saw  little  bridges  of  the  most 
airy  and  graceful  design,  the  architecture  purely 
Japanese.  The  arbors  of  wistaria  blossoms  are  a 
sight  such  as  can  not  be  found  outside  of  Japan. 
The  blossoms  are  fully  five  feet  long.  A  little 
shrine  is  passed  on  the  road  enclosing  a  tombstone 

87 


SMILING    'ROUND  THE   WORLD 

and  small  altar,  where  fresh  tea  is  offered  every 
day  to  the  spirit  of  the  departed. 

The  tea-house  stands  in  the  middle  of  a  typical 
Japanese  garden,  and  inside  we  may  regale  our- 
selves with  pale,  (not  ale)  but  pale  tea,  warm  sake 
(rice  wine),  and  sweetmeats.  The  appearance  of 
these  refreshments  is  not  inviting,  and  would  dis- 
courage anybody  but  a  Japanese.  Sake  is  the  na- 
tional drink,  and  is  brewed  from  rice ;  the  yeast  is 
formed  from  koji  (husked  rice)  and  heated  and 
steamed  to  produce  fermentation.  The  alcoholic 
strength  is  about  eleven  per  cent.,  and  it  has  a 
flavor  of  light  sherry  and  is  sipped  warm  or  cold. 
Some  writer  has  recorded  that  its  flavor  is  more 
like  weak  Madeira  that  has  been  kept  in  a  beer- 
bottle.  However  that  may  be,  most  meals  and  all 
banquets  are  opened  with  this  drink. 

Fruit,  in  Japan,  offers  few  attractions  to  the 
foreigner.  Oranges  and  bananas  are  so  small  as 
effectually  to  quell  any  longings  one  may  have 
previously  felt  for  them.  In  fact,  most  of  the  fruits 
have  a  wooden  aspect,  far  from  inviting.  One  vis- 
itor declared  that  the  native  peach  is  first  cousin 
to  a  brickbat! 

The  persimmon  is  their  largest  fruit,  but  its 
sickly  sweet  flavor  did  not  appeal  to  me.  At  the 
famous  tea-house  I  have  referred  to,  we  were  re- 
ceived by  Madam  Fujita,  a  most  charming  lady, 
who  presides  over  its  hospitalities,  and  is  said  to 

88 


JAPAN 

be  the  most  accomplished  woman,  lingually,  in  the 
world,  for  she  can  converse  with  every  visitor  in 
his  own  tongue,  no  matter  what  clime  or  country 
he  may  come  from. 

Japan  is  the  land  of  cleanliness.  Everything  is 
so  neat  and  clean;  it  looks  as  if  somebody  had  got 
up  before  breakfast  to  sweep  and  dust  the  whole 
country.  And  the  Japanese  take  a  just  pride  in 
the  cleanliness  of  their  nation.  Prince  Haseba, 
in  an  after-dinner  speech  at  Spokane,  said,  "If 
you  should  visit  a  Japanese  house  you  would  be 
obliged  to  remove  your  shoes  at  the  doorway.  Jap- 
anese floors  are  beautifully  kept.  I  know  of  some 
houses  where  thirty  or  forty  servants  have  no  other 
duty  than  the  polishing  of  the  floors." 

A  young  Japanese  student,  living  in  London, 
was  so  unfortunate  as  to  be  located  in  an  apart- 
ment house  where  the  janitor  did  not  keep  the  hall 
in  good  condition.  It  offered  a  great  contrast  to 
his  own  spotless  home  in  Japan  and  the  young 
man  felt  it  keenly.  On  the  approach  of  winter 
the  janitor  put  up  a  notice  in  the  entrance,  "Please 
wipe  your  feet."  The  young  student,  the  first  night 
he  observed  this  notice,  took  out  a  pencil  and  added, 
' '  On  going  out. ' ' 

Japan  is  also  the  land  of  unrealities.  The  whole 
country  is  a  toy-shop.  The  houses  are  like  those 
receptacles  for  toothpicks  we  used  to  covet  in  our 
childhood  to  play  house  with.  The  landscape  is 

89 


SMILING  'BOUND  THE  WORLD 

an  animated  fan  and  the  people  walking  dolls. 
Everything  is  small.  The  horses  are  all  ponies ;  the 
chickens  bantams;  the  dogs  small  and  shy — with 
apologetic  manners — they  wouldn't  presume  to 
bark  at  your  heels  without  first  asking  permission ; 
the  oysters  are  about  as  large  as  a  quarter;  clams 
no  larger  than  a  dime;  bananas  not  more  than 
four  or  five  inches  long,  and  oranges  about  the  size 
of  lady-apples.  Yes,  everything  is  small.  I  never 
felt  so  much  at  home  in  my  life. 

I  have  said  that  the  Japanese  people  are  the  most 
polite  on  earth.  They  are  also  kind,  cheerful,  and 
happy,  and,  tho  their  perpetual  cheerfulness  has 
been  criticized  as  showing  lack  of  character,  this 
is  really  due  to  etiquette  which  decrees  in  Japan 
that  a  smiling  face  must  be  turned  to  the  world, 
no  matter  what  their  inward  grief  may  be.  They 
are  sincerely  kind,  too,  and  one  of  the  first  lessons 
taught  a  Japanese  girl  is  never  to  gossip.  A  favor- 
ite saying  among  them  is,  "Mother  says  I  must 
neither  speak,  see,  nor  hear  evil. ' '  When  repeating 
this,  they  place  their  fingers  over  their  eyes,  with 
their  thumbs  stopping  up  their  ears.  The  mouth 
is  left  uncovered,  perhaps  because  they  realize  that 
the  tongue  is  the  "unruly  member"  that  can  not 
be  entirely  controlled. 

Gentleness  and  courtesy  are  a  part  of  every-day 
life;  smiling  faces  prevail  everywhere,  and  tho 
a  bitter  war  was  going  on  at  the  time  of  our 

90 


JAPAN 

visit,  and  there  was  scarcely  a  home  that  had  not 
known  a  loss,  there  was  no  sign  of  mourning  visi- 
ble. The  men  never  swear,  for  there  are  no  swear- 
words in  the  Japanese  language.  I  don't  know 
how  they  relieve  their  feelings  when  they  lose  a 
collar-button  down  their  back  or  hit  their  thumb- 
nail with  a  hammer. 

In  the  cherry-blossom  season  much  enjoyment  is 
derived  by  this  artistic  little  nation  from  sitting 
beneath  the  trees  and  looking  at  the  beautiful  pink 
blossoms.  Little  booths  of  bamboo  are  erected, 
where  the  people  sit  on  blankets  and  drink  tea  on 
pleasant  afternoons.  There  is  no  social  intercourse 
between  the  men  and  the  women ;  they  sit  at  oppo- 
site sides  of  the  booth. 

The  whole  population  turns  out  several  times  in 
the  year  to  these  charming  flower-festivals.  The 
plum-blossom  comes  the  end  of  January,  and  lasts 
into  March;  the  cherry-blossom  the  first  half  of 
April;  the  wistaria  early  in  May;  the  lotus  early 
in  August ;  the  chrysanthemum  the  first  three  weeks 
in  November ;  and  the  maple — for  they  include  such 
bright  leaves  among  the  flowers — all  November. 

The  cherry-blossom  receives  the  highest  share  of 
consideration.  The  flowers  vary  in  color  from  the 
palest  pink  to  a  warm  rose.  Their  effect  is  very 
much  like  that  of  the  almond-blossom  of  England 
and  America — the  double  variety  being  ten-petaled 
— and,  like  it,  bears  no  fruit.  Some  of  the  cherry- 

91 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

orchards  are  said  to  number  exactly  a  thousand 
trees  and  to  be  1,300  years  old.  The  effect  of  this 
mass  of  blooms  is  indescribably  beautiful.  Many 
writers  for  years  have  devoted  their  most  eloquent 
powers  to  praise  of  the  Japanese  spring-time  and 
its  flowering  beauty.  Far  be  it  from  my  pen  to 
compete  with  them.  But  I  will  nevertheless  add 
my  mite  and  also  recall  to  my  readers'  memories 
the  windows  of  various  Japanese  shops  in  New  York 
and  other  American  cities  in  the  early  part  of 
April,  where  the  owner,  tho  far  from  his  native 
land,  still  clings  to  a  beloved  and  honored  custom 
of  placing  among  his  wares  upright  branches  of 
pink  paper  blossoms  that  in  some  degree  commem- 
orate the  famous  cherry-tree  festival  of  his  native 
country. 

Japanese  art  has  had  many  admirers  and  many 
detractors.  The  latter  have  likened  their  china, 
sprawling  with  dragons  and  alive  with  grinning 
faces,  to  a  fit  of  the  jim-jams ;  their  sunflowers  to 
jellyfish  and  their  chrysanthemums  to  cart-wheels. 

Its  admirers  claim  that  all  you  have  to  do  is  to 
study  up  its  symbols,  and  then  go  ahead.  But  it 
strikes  me  that  by  the  time  you've  learned  the  sym- 
bols it  would  be  time  to  die.  For  instance,  when  a 
Japanese  artist  draws  a  picture  of  an  April  eve- 
ning, a  dyspeptic  moon,  a  nightingale,  and  a  couple 
of  plum-trees,  and  asks  you  its  meaning,  I  '11  wager 
that  if  you  stood  first  on  one  foot  and  then  on  the 

92 


JAPAN 

other  for  two  mortal  hours,  you  couldn't  give  the 
fellow  an  answer.  It's  dollars  to  doughnuts  you 
couldn't  tell  the  nightingale  from  a  fish-hawk,  and 
you  couldn't  tell  what  he  was  doing  on  the  plum- 
tree,  or  on  the  moon — it  don't  matter  which — if 
they  gave  you  the  whole  business-— the  hawk,  the 
plum-tree,  the  moon,  and  the  April  evening — to 
take  home  to  your  wife  for  a  birthday  present. 
For,  my  dear  fellow  man,  that  picture  means  Hap- 
piness! yes,  Happiness.  And,  if  you  can't  see  the 
artist's  meaning  and — what's  more  to  the  point — 
get  your  wife  to  see  it,  you'd  better  stay  right  in 
the  artist's  studio,  and 

But  you  won't!  You'll  go  straight  home  with 
the  picture  under  your  arm,  and  you'll  rush  up  to 
your  wife  and,  in  an  insane  endeavor  to  expatiate 
on  the  complex  beauties  of  the  thing,  you'll  say: 

"Look,  Maria !  just  see  this !  A  present  for  your 
birthday — didn't  forget  you,  did  I?  Here  you  are 
— great !  Look  at  the  willowy  moon,  and  the  night- 
ingale sky,  and  the  plum-hawk " 

And  then  she'll  burst  into  tears,  and  cry,  "I 
knew  it!  I  knew  it!  I've  seen  it  coming!  Oh,  I 
knew  it!" 

' '  Knew  what,  for  heaven 's  sake  ? ' ' 

"That  you'd  begin  to  see  things!  Stopping  off 
at  that  corner  nights  has  done  it — I  knew  it  would 
— a  plum-hawk!  O,  Archibald!  that  you  should 
come  to  this!  O,  O!" 

93 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

And  there  you  are! — hysterics;  the  telephone; 
the  doctor;  and,  praise  the  Lord!  a  "quick  cur- 
tain," as  they  say  at  the  theater. 

But  all  is  not  over.  You  spend  what  remains  of 
the  night  in  anathematizing,  in  tones  not  loud  but 
deep,  Japanese  art  in  the  concrete  and  this  par- 
ticular specimen  in  the  obsolete,  till  the  cold  gray 
dawn  steals  in  upon  you  and  you  feel  a  longing — 
nay,  a  thirst,  an  unhallowed  thirst— for  the  blood  of 
that  high-art  apostle  Bilkins,  the  friend  of  twenty 
years,  who  lured  you  into  that  studio  and  intro- 
duced you  to  art— "symbolic"  art,  made  up  of 
birds,  beasts  and  fishes,  the  like  of  which  never 
walked  on  land  or  swam  in  water. 

You  prop  the  casus  belli  on  your  knee  and  thus 
apostrophize  it: 

"You  call  yourself  a  moon,  do  you?  Why,  a 
half-baked  soda  biscuit  is  a  queen  to  you!  And 
you're  a  nightingale,  are  you?  Why,  you  splay- 
footed, wry-neck,  hollow-back,  shark-nose  night- 
mare !  a  setting-hen  with  the  wind-cackles  is  a  bird 
of  paradise  to  you!  What  did  that  idiotic  Bil- 
kins with  his  infernal  'symbols'  mean,  by  letting 
me  in  twenty-five  dollars  for  this?  Yes,  twenty- 
five  dollars!  and  what's  the  result?  Maria  throw- 
ing fits,  and  the  doctor's  bill  another  twenty-five, 
and  nothing  to  show  for  the  fifty  but  this  dum- 
basted  Japanese  brainstorm! 

"A  symbol  of  Happiness,  eh!  Well,  it  hasn't 
94 


JAPAN 

brought  much  happiness  to  my  home!  A  plum- 
tree!  Looks  more  like  a  gooseberry  bush.  I'll  bet 
the  plums  on  it  would  sour  a  barrel  of  molasses ! 

"  'Patriotism,'  said  that  ass  of  a  Bilkins,  'is 
sometimes  indicated  by  a  spray  of  cherry-blossoms. ' 
Well,  I've  seen  it  indicated  round  the  17th  of 
March  by  a  sprig  of  shamrock,  and  more  times 
round  the  4th  of  July  by  a  red-white-and-blue  ro- 
sette, but  nobody  needed  an  interpreter  in  either 
case  to  tell  what  they  were  the  'symbol'  of. 

"Grace  and  quietness  are  indicated  by  the  wil- 
low-tree and  the  swallow,  eh?  Very  well;  I  admit 
the  willow-tree.  For  gracefulness  she's  all  to  the 
good.  But  the  swallow  for  quietness!  Well,  I've 
seen  some  swallows  that  wouldn't  go  in  that  class 
— not  for  nickels.  One  swallow  doesn't  make  a  sum- 
mer, but  two  will  get  away  with  a  whisky-straight 
in  a  second  and  a  half;  and  three  more  will  make 
a  man's  tongue  go  like  a  mill-clapper;  while  three 
more  will  bust  up  all  the  quietness  left  over  from 
a  generation  of  country  Sabbaths. 

"Now,  that  blue-and-green  dragon  twisting 
round  the  horizon!  I  suppose  he's  a  dragon,  but 
he  looks  more  like  a  hose-pipe  with  an  attack  of  ap- 
pendicitis. He 's  the  symbol  for  Religion,  eh  ?  Re- 
ligion! Great  snakes!  he  ought  to  be  the  symbol 
for  the  alcoholic  ward  in  Bellevue  Hospital. 

"And  this  little  game-cock  perched  on  a  drum 
signifies  good  government?  Well,  that's  a  stretch 

95 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

of  imagination  with  a  vengeance !  Looks  more  like 
a  sparrow  on  a  pancake-griddle.  Good  government, 
eh?  I  reckon  they  don't  need  any  over  there,  or 
they'd  get  something  bigger  than  His  Drumsticks 
for  a  symbol.  His  Purple  Nibs  hardly  looks  equal 
to  the  job.  I  should  say  scratching  up  worms  in 
the  back  yard  was  more  in  his  line. 

"Well,  I've  had  an  alcoholic  sufficiency  of  Jap- 
anese art ;  my  reputation  for  sobriety  with  my  wife 
is  gone  to  the  four  winds;  I'm  fifty  out  of  pocket; 
and  nothing — absolutely  nothing  to  show  for  it 
but  you! — you  brain- twisted,  colicky,  jaundiced 
paranoeic ! 

"It's  the  furnace  fire  for  yours!" 

On  the  other  hand,  no  style  of  art  is  so  fasci- 
nating to  Occidental  minds.  The  daintiness  of 
conception,  the  charm  of  color,  the  spring-time 
freshness  of  atmosphere  that  pervades  each  and 
every  effort  of  the  Oriental  workman  possesses  a 
charm  wholly  individual  and  one  which  it  is  diffi- 
cult to  resist. 

As  I  have  said,  the  scheme  must  be  studied,  the 
symbols  learned;  but  to  the  dilettante  this  is  ever 
a  well-spring  of  pleasure,  and  one  that  will  never 
go  dry. 

The  system  of  "threes"  or  of  "ones"  once 
learned  captivates  the  fancy — for  things  artistic  are 
nothing  if  not  fanciful  in  this  Orient  land — and 
holds  the  imagination  in  spite  of  oneself.  The 

96 


At  the  Tea-House  of  the  101  Steps 

A  Street  Restaurant 

Nunobiki  Waterfall 


JAPAN 

art-etiquette,  so  to  speak,  of  a  Japanese  interior 
is  enchanting — when  one  has  learned  it.  There 
is  only  one  bunch  of  flowers — sometimes  only  a 
single  expressive  blossom  in  a  room.  There  is  but 
one  picture.  But  this  oneness  must  be  at  just 
such  a  time  and  in  just  such  a  place.  Can  you  not 
understand  why?  Love  is  not  always  responsive 
to  love's  demands.  Solitude,  at  times,  is  sweeter 
and  more  to  be  desired.  So  the  picture  is  hung, 
the  flower  placed. 

Every  flower  has  a  meaning.  Certain  flowers 
must  never  be  seen  together.  Certain  others  must 
never  be  seen  apart.  Then,  again,  everything  goes 
in  threes — blossoms,  boughs,  or  sprays.  Even  fur- 
niture has  a  meaning.  The  details  of  this  etiquette 
are  endless,  and,  to  the  Occidental  mind,  bewilder- 
ing, unless  one  "has  an  imagination" — or  at  least 
an  esthetic  sense  to  which  its  poetic  features  can 
appeal. 

In  the  matter  of  coloring  alone,  Japanese  art 
leads  the  world ;  the  secret  is  their  own.  Their  pic- 
ture-slides, etc.,  notably  those  by  Kimbei,  Japan's 
greatest  colorist,  are  unsurpassed  by  any  hereto- 
fore attempted. 

Tho  Japan  is  the  land  of  beautiful  bric-a-brac, 
none  is  ever  displayed.  The  precious  vase,  rich 
with  gorgeous  lacquer;  the  picture,  beautiful  with 
poetic  symbols;  the  carving,  that  has  taken  years 
of  patient  cunning  to  create — these  are  never  dis- 

97 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

played  on  wall  or  cabinet,  but  locked  away  in  safe 
or  storeroom  to  be  brought  out  as  a  special  honor  to 
guest  or  visitor  whose  coming  their  host  wishes  to 
celebrate  with  the  highest  rites  of  Eastern  hospi- 
tality. 

"If  we  had  our  precious  treasures  always  before 
our  eyes,"  they  say,  "they  would  then  become  too 
common,  and  we  should  tire  of  them ;  and  that  must 
never  be!" 


98 


SNAP  SHOTS  OF  JAPAN 

Streets  Overflowing  with  Life  and  Color — Children  as  the 
Sands  of  the  Sea — Baby  Nurses — Street  Venders  and 
Eating-Stands — Continual  Baking  and  Brewing — Shops 
Open  to  the  Street — Domestic  Life  Seen  Through  Open 
Screens — Fire-boxes — I  Try  to  Make  Some  Purchases — 
Japanese  Money  of  an  Ancient  Vintage — Inroad  of 
American  and  European  Ideas — Marriage  in  Japan — 
Eailroad  Travel— " Buffalo  Bill"  and  the  Englishman 
— Wail  of  the  Lost  Souls — No  Outward  Signs  of  War — 
Their  Brass  Bands — Japanese  Mother  and  Her  Three 
Sons — The  Bounty-  Jumper  'a  Glass  Eye — A  Nation 
of  Imitators — Eeligious  Aspects  Amusing  as  Well  as 
Interesting — Ancient  and  Primitive  Methods — Every- 
thing Done  in  the  Hardest  Way — Evolution  of  the 
New  Japan. 

THE  streets  in  Japan  are  fascinating,  over- 
flowing as  they  are  with  life  and  color. 
The  children  are  as  the  sands  of  the  sea, 
and  seven  times  out  of  ten  a  child  has  a  smaller 
one  strapped  to  his  or  her  back.    There  is  no  dis- 
tinction, boys  playing  nurse  quite  as  frequently 
as  girls.     I  contrasted  their  cheerfulness  and  evi- 
dent pleasure  in  performing  this  duty  with  the 
outraged  dignity  of  an  American  boy  of  ten  or 

99 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

twelve,  obliged  to  carry  a  baby  about  for  a  morn- 
ing or  afternoon. 

Little  tots  of  five  or  six  may  be  seen  with  babies 
fully  a  year  old  strapped  to  their  backs,  and  mind- 
ing it  so  little  that  they  play  hop-scotch,  puss-in- 
the-corner,  and  all  sorts  of  games,  running  about 
on  high  wooden  clogs  that  would  trip  up  an  Amer- 
ican child  at  the  first  step. 

The  children  are  put  out  of  the  houses  early  in 
the  morning,  when  the  mothers  sweep,  dust  and 
polish  everything  to  an  immaculate  cleanliness — 
and  the  little  nomads  live  and  play  and  appar- 
ently eat  all  their  meals  in  the  streets.  Venders 
of  every  sort  are  always  close  at  hand,  those  who 
carry  their  wares  in  baskets  or  boxes  slung  from  a 
bamboo  pole;  those  who  have  gaily  painted  carts 
like  little  houses  on  wheels;  or  those  who  have 
regular  stands. 

At  these  last-named  there  are  a  continual  baking 
and  boiling  and  brewing  for  which  there  seem  al- 
ways to  be  customers.  Either  a  large  proportion 
of  the  Japanese  people  in  the  cities  must  take  their 
meals  in  this  manner,  or  they  have  enormous  appe- 
tites and  eat  constantly  between  meals. 

The  shops  are  open  to  the  streets,  and  closed  at 
night  with  wooden  shutters.  At  the  back  of  every 
shop  may  be  seen  the  paper-covered  sliding  screen 
leading  into  the  little  home.  This  screen  is  almost 
invariably  open,  disclosing  the  entire  family  group. 

100 


SNAP   SHOTS   OP   JAPAN 

The  hair-dresser,  building  up  the  wonderful  coif- 
fure rolled  over  tiny  bolsters,  and  greased  with 
coco-oil  to  a  shining  blackness,  affected  by  the 
Japanese  women;  shampooing,  sewing,  writing, 
reading — every  occupation  is  in  full  view  of  the 
passer-by. 

The  shopkeepers  crouch  on  their  mats,  and  hover 
over  a  fire-box,  or  hibachi,  as  they  call  it.  This  is 
the  only  means  of  heating  known  in  Japanese 
houses.  These  hibachi  are  of  porcelain,  bronze  or 
brass,  like  a  large  jardiniere,  filled  with  clay,  in  the 
middle  of  which  a  few  sticks  of  charcoal  smolder. 
The  Jap  sits  on  his  feet,  and  is  drest  very  warmly 
in  silk  and  cotton-wadded  garments,  so  that  it  is 
only  his  hands  that  get  cold;  and  these  he  toasts 
continually  over  the  fire-box. 

Speaking  of  shops  and  making  oneself  under- 
stood, I  felt  that  after  my  experience  in  the  Ha- 
waiian tongue,  I  was  fully  justified  in  letting  the 
Japanese  severely  alone.  I  never  got  much  beyond' 
the  two  words,  "O-hay-o"  (good  morning)  and 
"Sayonara"  (good-by).  The  "good  morning"  is 
pronounced  as  near  like  "Ohio"  as  they  can  make 
it.  I  suppose  if  they  wanted  to  bid  any  one  "good 
night,"  they  would  say  "Philadelphia." 

But  I  did  try  to  learn  something  about  the  Jap- 
anese money  and  its  various  divisions,  only  I  had 
bad  luck  from  the  start.  I  got  hold  of  the  wrong 
customer  or  else  he  did. 

101 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

I  started  in  to  buy  some  sandals  and  a  hat.  I 
knew  that  one  yen,  at  par,  is  worth  almost  exactly 
fifty  cents  American  money,  and  that  ten  rin  go  to 
a  sen,  and  one  hundred  sen  to  a  yen.  But  the  old 
man  who  waited  on  me  either  knew  no  more  than 
I  did  or  was  exploiting  some  new  and  original 
methods  of  his  own,  for  he  held  up  the  sandals  in 
one  hand  and  the  hat  in  the  other  while  he  ejac- 
ulated in  a  low  guttural,  "Mon!  mon!" 

"Oh,  yes!  I  gotta  da  mon!"  I  replied,  pulling 
out  my  purse  and  spreading  some  Japanese  coins 
on  my  palm. 

But  he  shook  his  head  and  held  up  his  forefin- 
ger saying,  "Shy!" 

' '  Oh,  I  'm  shy  one,  am  I  ?  Well,  take  this ! ' '  and 
I  threw  the  largest  coin  I  had  into  the  little  basket 
before  him.  But  this  seemed  to  excite  him.  He 
wagged  his  forefinger  at  me  and  cried  ' '  Bunkyu ! ' ' 
at  the  top  of  his  voice. 

' '  Bunco  me  ?  I  guess  not,  my  friend ! "  I  replied, 
"I'm  from  New  York!" 

At  this  he  threw  down  the  hat  and  sandals  and, 
shaking  his  hands  as  tho  he  were  trying  to  get  rid 
of  soap-suds,  he  cried,  "Shi-mon!  shi-mon!" 

"Oh,  I  was  shy  one,  and  now  I'm  shy  the  whole 
business!  Well,  I  don't  think  you  and  I  will  make 
a  deal  to-day!"  and  sweeping  the  coins  into  my 
purse  I  was  preparing  to  be  gone. 

Suddenly   he   leaned   forward,   thrust  his   face 
102 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

close  to  mine,  and  in  a  most  indescribable  manner 
hissed  through  his  teeth,  "Ichi-bu!  ichi-bu!" 

Well,  say!  did  you  ever  play  that  idiotic  game 
with  a  six  or  seven  months'  old  infant,  called 
Kitch-a-boo?  The  baby  lies  in  the  cradle,  or  on 
its  mother's  lap,  as  the  case  may  be,  and  you,  wish- 
ing to  make  yourself  solid  with  the  family,  lean 
over  and,  assuming  a  ghastly  grin,  teeter  over  to- 
ward the  infant,  and  then  teeter  back  again,  and 
then  teeter  forward,  spluttering,  "Kitch-a-boo! 
Kitch-a-boo!"  until  it's  ten  to  one  that  the  kid 
either  goes  into  fits  or  sets  up  a  howl  that  makes 
the  mother  wish  that  murder  was  not  a  punishable 
offense. 

If  you  ever  have  indulged  in  that  tender  little 
pastime,  then  you  can  have  some  idea  of  my  frame 
of  mind  when  the  old  Jap  performed  this  strange 
antic.  Backing  away  from  him  I  shook  my  head 
violently  and  thrust  my  purse  into  my  pocket, 
when  he  plucked  me  by  the  sleeve  and  with  a  whine 
that  would  have  done  credit  to  a  Hester  Street  old- 
clothes  man  said,  "Kanye!  Kanye!" 

"No,  I  can't!  and  I'm  hanged  if  I  ever  will!" 
and  with  that  I  turned  away  and  the  negotiation 
was  at  an  end. 

Now  what  do  you  think  was  the  matter  with  the 

old  fellow  ?    Why,  he  was  not  only  a  little  touched 

in  the  upper  story,  but  he  knew  nothing  of  the 

cash  system  of  his  country  later  than  the  vintage 

103 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

of  1868.  He  had  been  left  to  tend  the  shop  for  a 
few  moments  and,  as  usual,  I  fell  a  victim  to  the 
change  of  circumstances.  Let  it  be  said  that,  ac- 
cording to  Delmar,  the  standard  formerly  was,  as 
in  China,  the  small  round  iron  or  bronze  coins  with 
the  square  hole  in  the  center  which  were  of  three 
denominations:  1st,  the  won;  2d,  the  bunkyu;  3d, 
the  shi-mon.  The  shi  was  an  oblong  silver  coin, 
and  the  ichi-bu  another;  the  latter  being  equal  to 
four  shi.  Kanye  means  the  era  of  coinage,  but 
the  era  of  old  coins  does  not  indicate  the  age  of  the 
coin.  For  example,  coins  made  about  1860  bear  the 
name  of  the  era  Kanye. 

The  manufacture  of  all  these  ceased  at  the  begin- 
ning of  the  present  era  of  Meidji,  that  is  to  say, 
the  25th  of  January,  1868,  which  was  the  year  that 
the  present  Emperor  assumed  sovereign  power. 
The  mon  is  now  valued  at  one  rin,  and  the  bunkyu 
at  one  and  one-half  rin.  The  old  gold  coins  and 
the  oblong  silver  ones  are  only  to  be  found  in  the 
curio  shops.  This  according  to  Delmar. 

In  the  shops  are  many  evidences  of  the  inroads 
of  American  and  European  ideas,  for  in  almost 
every  one,  not  devoted  to  food-products,  may  be 
seen  all  kinds  of  Yankee  notions,  knitted  goods 
and  underwear. 

The  grafting  of  the  new  ideas  .on  to  the  old  make 
a  hybrid  growth,  showing  some  funny  combina- 
tions. The  men  take  up  the  European  dress  first, 

104 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

but  with  very  few  exceptions  their  desire  seems  to 
go  no  farther  than  the  mere  possession  of  the 
clothes  regardless  of  style  or  fit. 

There  are  no  old  maids  in  Japan.  Marriages 
are  arranged;  and  as  widows  are  not  allowed  to 
marry  again,  that  helps  toward  having  enough 
men  to  go  round,  since  each  woman  has  only  one 
chance. 

When  her  husband  dies,  even  tho  she  may  be 
young  and  charming,  the  widow's  hair  is  cut  off, 
and  she  is  doomed  for  the  rest  of  her  life  to  sin- 
gle blessedness  and  a  cropped  head.  An  old-time 
custom,  which  is  fortunately  dying  out,  was  to 
blacken  a  woman's  teeth  when  she  got  married. 
So  it  was  hard  to  tell  which  was  most  disfiguring — 
getting  a  husband  or  losing  one.  Every  district 
has  its  own  distinctive  marriage  ceremony,  but  the 
following  is  the  one  in  general  use. 

No  priest  officiates  at  the  marriage  ceremony. 
An  elderly  couple,  called  the  "go-betweens,"  con- 
duct the  courtship  and  assist  the  bride  and  groom 
to  perform  the  rite  that  makes  them  man  and  wife, 
which  consists  of  nine  cups  of  wine  tasted  alter- 
nately by  the  bride  and  groom,  who  hand  them  to 
each  other.  This  is  called  the  "san-san-kudo,"  lit- 
erally "  three- three-nine, "  and  means  that  they 
will  share  the  bitter  and  the  sweet  in  life's  cup  to- 
gether. 

Between  them  is  a  low  whitewood  table  on 
105 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

which  are  a  few  customary  things:  an  image  of  a 
stork,  and  a  tortoise,  and  a  pine-bough—all  sym- 
bolizing long  life. 

Sometimes  there  are  the  images  of  an  old  man 
and  woman,  a  couple  who  lived  happily  for  a 
hundred  years;  also  a  bough  of  plum-blossoms, 
symbol  of  conjugal  happiness. 

The  bride  wears  white,  the  mourning 'color  in  Ja- 
pan, to  signify  that  her  old  life  is  ended — for  mar- 
riage is  too  often  a  sort  of  death-in-life  to  the  Jap- 
anese woman.  She  is  virtually  the  slave  of  her 
mother-in-law,  and  must  live  only  for  her  husband 's 
family,  who  exact  from  her  the  most  abject  sub- 
mission. She  marries  at  sixteen  and  begins  a  life 
of  drudgery  that  makes  her  an  old  woman  at  thirty 
or  thirty-five,  and  her  only  gleam  of  hope  in  life 
lies  in  her  having  sons  who  will  marry  and  place 
her  in  the  envied  position  of  mother-in-law. 

The  flowing  veil  of  the  Western  bride  is  for  the 
Japanese  woman  a  large  hood,  made  of  white  wad- 
ding, that  modestly  shades  her  features.  When  the 
ceremony — which  is  never  witnessed  by  the  guests 
— is  completed,  she  retires  and  changes  her  cos- 
tume ;  for  the  wedding  kimono  once  doffed  is  never 
worn  again. 

When  she  is  drest  again,  she  appears  at  the  feast 

to  which  guests  are  bidden.    Very  wealthy  brides 

retire  between  each  course — sometimes  there  are 

nine,  sometimes  seven  or  eleven,  a  regular  game  of 

106 


SNAP    SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

craps! — and  reappear  in  more  gorgeous  raiment, 
until  you  begin  to  think  there's  a  corner  in  ki- 
monos. 

When  the  feasting  is  over,  the  "go-between" 
couple  conducts  the  bride  and  groom  to  the  bridal 
chamber  and  serves  them  a  special  cup,  called  the 
" bed- wine."  During  the  marriage  ceremony  the 
bridal  pair  do  not  drink  the  nine  cups  of  wine, 
but  merely  touch  their  lips  to  the  cup;  for  the 
well-known  potency  of  the  sake  would  have  them 
paralyzed  by  about  the  fifth  cup,  and  they'd  never 
get  married  at  all. 

While  at  the  Imperial  Hotel,  Tokyo,  we  were 
permitted  to  witness  a  portion  of  a  Japanese  wed- 
ding, that  is,  the  feast  and  reception.  Like  our 
Hebrew  friends  in  America,  the  Japs  now  hire  the 
parlors  of  a  hotel,  chiefly  because  their  little  doll- 
houses  are  so  small.  It  was  very  funny ;  the  women 
all  like  embarrassed  images,  done  up  in  their  best 
kimonos  and  not  saying  a  word,  while  the  men,  in 
stiff,  badly  fitting  European  "store-clothes,"  stood 
around  in  little  groups  and  talked,  looking  like 
animated  tailors'  dummies. 

One  young  man  picked  out,  with  one  finger,  a 
native  air  on  the  piano,  while  the  children  were  the 
only  ones  who  were  at  all  happy,  or  didn't  look  as 
if  they  wished  they  hadn't  come. 

We  were  not  surprised  to  see  children  there,  as 
they  go  everywhere  in  Japan,  even  to  the  theater, 
107 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE   WORLD 

where  they  trot  about  between  the  acts,  and  even 
invade  the  stage.  Such  universal  consideration  is 
shown  them  I  was  reminded  of  a  story  which, 
however,  does  not  apply  to  Japanese  domestic  life, 
but  is  worth  the  telling. 

Says  Mrs.  Peace  to  Miss  Sharp,  a  caller,  "My 
husband  and  I  never  dispute  before  the  children. 
When  a  quarrel  seems  imminent,  we  always  send 
them  out." 

Miss  Sharp:  "Ah,  I've  often  wondered  why 
they're  so  much  in  the  street!" 

Hateful  thing,  wasn't  she? 

English  is  quite  generally  spoken,  particularly 
among  the  boys.  The  'ricksha-men  almost  all  have 
a  smattering  and  can  tell  the  different  points  of  in- 
terest, tho  frequently  one  has  to  make  some  rather 
wild  guesses  as  to  what  they  mean.  When,  however, 
the  fact  has  been  grasped  that  ' '  dewotomy ' '  means 
"department,"  and  " sea-soldare, "  means  "sea- 
soldier  or  marine,"  "Korean  Agation"  means 
"Austrian  Legation,"  these  with  other  number- 
less examples  make  conversation  fairly  plain 
sailing. 

I  was  brought  to  a  standstill  one  day,  however, 
by  my  smiling  'ricksha-man  pointing  to  a  house 
within  the  barracks  and  saying  ' '  Quannon. ' '  After 
repeating  it  several  times  with  no 'visible  impres- 
sion on  my  understanding,  he  finally  appealed  to 
a  passer-by  who,  tho  his  pronunciation  was  not 

108 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

much  better,  at  last  made  me  understand  that 
"commandant"  was  meant. 

One  sees  many  signs  in  English,  but  the  people 
who  make  them  have  their  own  ideas  as  to  arrange- 
ment. For  instance,  in  Yokohama  may  be  seen  a 
sign  over  a  butcher  shop  that  reads,  "Beefandhen- 
meat" — it  looks  like  some  strange  foreign  word, 
but  after  close  inspection  resolves  itself  into  "Beef 
and  hen  meat." 

In  Tokyo  a  jewelry  store  has  on  the  window, 
"The  Watches  Shop,"  and  tacked  on  a  fence  at 
the  top  of  a  high  hill  I  saw  the  following:  "As 
danger  is,  should  not  throw  the  stones." 

Travel  on  the  railroads  is  very  easy,  for  every 
sign  is  repeated  in  English  below  the  Japanese 
characters,  the  porters  who  carry  bags  and  direct 
passengers  all  speak  a  little  English,  and  under- 
stand more.  So  do  the  ticket-sellers,  who  are  all 
girls,  but  best  of  all  the  American  system  of  check- 
ing baggage  is  in  practise.  The  trains  are  divided 
into  first,  second  and  third  class,  the  price  of  tick- 
ets varying  accordingly. 

The  trains  are  small  and  slow,  and  seem  not  to 
think  it  necessary  ever  to  be  on  time.  Smoking 
is  allowed  in  every  class,  even  in  the  sleeping- 
cars. 

For  my  sins  I  traveled  one  night  in  one  of  these 
Japanese  sleeping-cars,  and  it  will  always  stand 
out  in  my  memory  as  one  of  the  most  uncomfort- 
109 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE    WORLD 

able  I  ever  passed.  The  cars  are  divided  into  com- 
partments, two  long  leather  seats  facing  each  other, 
running  across  the  car.  The  backs  of  these  seats 
lift  up,  and  propt  by  poles  make  four  berths 
altogether.  The  bedding  is  clean  and  sufficient, 
but  there  are  no  springs  in  the  beds,  absolutely  no 
privacy,  and  one  tiny  window  for  the  whole  com- 
partment, public  opinion  being  usually  divided  as 
to  whether  it  shall  be  opened  or  closed. 

This  reminds  me  of  a  story  of  my  friend  Colonel 
Cody  ("Buffalo  Bill")  used  to  tell.  He  said  that 
once  upon  ft  time  an  Englishman  who  had  never 
been  in  the  West  before  was  his  guest.  They  were 
riding  through  a  Rocky  Mountain  canon  one  day, 
when  suddenly  a  tremendous  gust  of  wind  came 
swooping  down  upon  them,  and  actually  carried 
the  Englishman  clear  off  the  wagon-seat.  After 
he  had  been  picked  up,  he  combed  the  sand  and 
gravel  out  of  his  whiskers  and  said : 

"I  say!  I  think  you  overdo  ventilation  in  this 
bloomin'  country!" 

My  berth  was  over  the  wheels,  and  this,  together 
with  a  roadbed  of  which  a  coal  railroad  in  Penn- 
sylvania would  be  ashamed,  produced  such  jolts 
and  bumps  that  my  brain  felt  as  tho  it  had  been 
through  an  egg-beater.  The  compartment  was  full, 
one  occupant  being  a  German  army  officer  who, 
besides  being  in  full  uniform,  even  to  enormous 
fur-lined  overcoat,  sword  and  spurs,  brought  in  to 
110 


SNAP    SHOTS    OF   JAPAN 

choke  the  little  available  space  a  satchel,  a  large 
flat  wicker  hamper,  and  a  packing-box.  He  had 
also  a  very  industrious  and  far-reaching  snore  with 
him. 

The  third  occupant  being  a  traveling  Catholic 
priest,  and,  like  the  soldier,  a  man  of  huge  propor- 
tions, I  was  rather  interested  to  know  which  of 
these  was  to  occupy  the  berth  over  me.  For  it 
seemed  a  flimsy  sort  of  affair,  and  I  took  particular 
pains  to  see  that  it  was  well  propt  up. 

I  was  rather  relieved  to  find  it  was  to  be  the  sol- 
dier, for  I  consoled  myself  with  the  old  adage  that 
the  pen  is  mightier  than  the  sword,  and  decided  it 
would  be  a  worse  calamity  to  have  the  Church  down 
on  me  than  the  army.  Even  if  sleep  with  all  these 
considerations  had  been  possible,  the  frequent  stops 
would  have  completely  put  it  to  flight.  For  the 
moment  a  train  arrives  at  a  station,  no  matter  what 
the  time  of  night,  the  sellers  of  lunch-boxes,  hot 
milk,  tea  or  tobacco  begin  to  cry  their  wares  in 
tones  that  are  like  the  wailings  of  lost  souls,  and 
for  penetration  and  volume  unequaled  by  any- 
thing in  my  experience. 

The  sellers  of  tea  at  the  stations  will  give  one  a 
small  teapot  filled  with  hot  tea,  and  a  tiny  cup,  all 
for  three  sen,  or  a  cent  and  a  half  in  American 
money. 

In  all  Japan  there  were  very  few  outward  and 
visible  signs  of  war.  The  self-restraint  taught 
111 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

these  people  for  centuries  keeps  them  from  any 
display  of  enthusiasm.  Occasionally  the  barrier  is 
broken  down,  and  considering  their  training  even 
a  slight  demonstration  means  much.  All  through 
the  country  victory  poles  were  erected.  These  are 
long  bamboo  poles  with  round  netting  balls  at  the 
top,  set  up  at  opposite  sides  of  the  street,  and  lean- 
ing toward  each  other  until  their  points  cross.  At 
the  railroad  stations  one  was  sure  to  see  parties  of 
wounded  soldiers  returning  from  the  front  or 
those  who  were  departing  for  the  seat  of  war. 
These  latter  were  always  attended  by  a  crowd  of 
men  and  women,  who  waved  small  Japanese  flags 
and  gave  a  shout  as  the  train  moved  away.  This 
shout  is  really  more  of  a  screech  than  a  good,  round 
cheer,  such  as  would  be  heard  in  America,  for  it 
seems  as  if  there  is  some  physical  reason  why  the 
Japanese  can  not  raise  their  voices  without  pro- 
ducing the  most  blood-curdling  sounds.  The  street- 
cries  are  all  strident  and  unpleasant;  the  com- 
mands of  officers  to  their  men  tinny  and  rasping — 
while  Japanese  singing,  to  a  foreigner,  is  conducive 
to  nervous  prostration.  As  for  the  brass  bands, 
their  music  is  like  unto  nothing  under  the  heavens 
or — I  will  safely  wager — above  them.  And  their 
fondness  for  American  airs — Sousa's  marches,  and 
the  like — adds  to  the  torture.  "Marching  Through 
Georgia"  is  a  prime  favorite  with  them,  but  I 
would  have  to  study  over  the  tune,  as  they  produced 
112 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

it,  a  long  while  before  I  would  dare  take  my  oath 
that  I  had  ever  heard  it  before. 

The  Girls'  Industrial  School,  which  is  the  pet 
charity- of  the  childless  Empress,  was  the  only  place 
where  indications  that  there  was  a  war  in  progress 
could  be  found.  On  Tuesdays  and  Wednesdays  the 
pupils,  abandoning  their  paints,  their  embroidery 
and  knitting,  their  cooking  and  sewing,  devoted 
their  entire  day  to  making  clothing  for  the  soldiers. 
I  have  spoken  somewhat  of  the  external  attitude 
of  these  people.  Of  their  interior  attitude  of  heart 
and  mind  much  more  might  be  said,  especially  in 
regard  to  their  late  war  with  Russia,  which  was 
going  on  at  the  time  of  my  visit.  This  was  some- 
thing they  would  not  talk  about.  Any  mention  of 
the  subject  was  met  with  an  adroit  change  of  the 
conversation  into  other  channels.  But  intense  pa- 
triotism, the  most  supreme  confidence  in  their  ulti- 
mate success,  reigned  in  every  heart.  Examples  of 
the  most  heroic  self-sacrifice  were  not  lacking.  A 
Japanese  mother  had  given  her  three  sons  to  the 
war.  The  first  was  reported  slain.  She  smiled  and 
said,  "It  is  well.  I  am  happy."  The  second  lay 
dead  upon  the  field.  She  smiled  again  and  said, 
"I  am  still  happy."  The  third  gave  up  his  life 
and  they  said  to  her,  ' '  At  last  you  weep ! "  "  Yes, ' ' 
she  said,  "but  it  is  because  I  have  no  more  sons  to 
give  to  my  beloved  country ! ' ' 
Now,  this  is  all  very  beautiful,  but  as  my  mis- 
113 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

sion  in  life  is  laughter  instead  of  tears,  I  want  to 
say  that  it  reminds  me  of  a  little  story  of  our  coun- 
try and  our  war — the  war  of  the  great  Rebellion. 
When,  in  answer  to  the  call  for  troops,  the  blood  of 
our  noble  volunteers  had  been  poured  out  upon 
Southern  fields  for  three  long  years,  there  arose  a 
class  of  men  called  "bounty- jumpers"  who,  acting 
as  substitutes  for  drafted  men  and  taking  a  large 
sum  of  money  for  the  job,  sometimes  "jumped  the 
bounty"  and  disappeared  instead  of  going  to  the 
front  to  serve  Uncle  Sam.  These  men  were  sub- 
jected to  a  medical  examination  which,  in  the 
hands  of  unscrupulous  physicians  (who  received  a 
large  fee  if  the  man  "passed"),  was  not  always  as 
rigorous  as  it  should  be.  A  doctor  who  was  seen 
coming  out  of  the  examining  room  with  a  very  sour 
face  was  greeted  by  a  friend  with  a  "Hello,  Doc! 
What's  the  matter?  Didn't  you  pass  your  man?" 

"Pass  nothin'!" 

"Why,  he  looked  all  right!" 

"All  right!  why  he  was  sound  as  a  nut,  but  the 
Colonel  of  the  regiment  suggested  we  stand  him 
up  on  a  high  table  and  make  him  jump  to  the  floor, 
and,  by  Jove!  if  his  confounded  glass  eye  didn't 
fall  out  and  spoil  the  whole  business!" 

The  Japanese  are  not  an  original  people ;  they  are 

essentially  a  nation  of  imitators.     For  centuries 

they  have  borrowed  from  China  their  civilization, 

their  characters  for  writing,  and  many  of  their  cus- 

114 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

toms  and  industries,  notably  the  cultivation  of  silk- 
worms, the  manufacture  of  silk  and  porcelain,  lac- 
quer-ware and  bronze,  ivory-carving,  painting  and 
embroidery.  In  the  transmission  of  many  customs, 
however,  was  added,  a  love  of  cleanliness  that  is 
unknown  to  the  Chinese. 

Now  Japan  is  borrowing  the  customs  of  Europe 
and  America,  and  while  in  many  cases  they  prevail 
entirely,  such  as  the  organization  of  the  army,  the 
street-car  lines  and  railways,  they  are  more  fre- 
quently seen  side  by  side  with  the  customs  of  old 
Japan.  There  are  about  one  hundred  thousand 
Christians  in  Japan,  about  equally  divided  between 
Catholics  and  Protestants,  many  of  them  high  offi- 
cials who  eagerly  advocate  the  growth  of  the  relig- 
ion. They  are  a  deeply  logical  people,  and  argue 
that  the  greatest  nations  of  the  world  are  all  Chris- 
tian nations ;  therefore  it  is  expedient,  not  so  much 
for  their  souls'  good  as  for  their  country,  that  she 
should  become  a  Christian  nation. 

The  religious  aspect  of  the  Japanese  people  is 
sometimes  amusing,  and  always  interesting.  Our 
visit  to  the  temple  at  Asakusa  in  Tokyo  was  espe- 
cially so.  It  is  the  local  Coney  Island.  We  saw 
people  at  the  temple  throwing  money  through  slats 
into  a  box  in  front  of  the  idols,  and  one  old  woman 
was  solemnly  rubbing  the  arm  of  a  wooden  idol, 
then  her  own.  Perhaps  this  was  a  sort  of  charm 
to  cure  rheumatism.  Finally  she  rubbed  her  hands 
115 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

together  and  prayed  for  a  long  time,  and  then  went 
her  way. 

There  remains  intact  one  ancient  institution  and 
one  I  hesitate  to  touch  upon,  yet  feel  that  it  almost 
demands  mention,  being,  as  it  is,  such  a  universal 
and  accepted  portion  of  Japanese  life. 

I  speak  of  that  section  of  every  city  known  as  the 
Yoshiwara.  The  fronts  of  the  gaily  lighted  houses 
are  divided  from  the  streets  by  wooden  bars.  The 
poor  little  soiled  doves  who  sit  in  these  cages  ex- 
posed for  sale  are  arrayed  in  the  most  gorgeous 
plumage.  It  is  a  pitiful  sight  to  see  the  unfortu- 
nate creatures,  powdered  and  painted,  smiling  and 
becking,  crouching  over  fire-boxes  warming  their 
poor  little  hands. 

While  Japanese  men  are  more  and  more  adopt- 
ing European  dress,  the  women  assume  it  very 
slowly,  the  men  not  encouraging  it,  seeming  to  pre- 
fer their  womankind  in  the  national  costume.  There 
is  reason  certainly  for  this  preference,  for  a  Japan- 
ese woman  is  picturesque  in  her  own  costume,  even 
tho  she  may  not  come  up  to  standards  of  Western 
beauty,  while  in  the  borrowed  plumes  of  other 
countries  she  is  like  the  daw  decked  out  in  peacock 
feathers  that  neither  became  him  nor  made  him 
other  than  he  was. 

The  working  class  still  clings  to  the  ancient  cos- 
tume and  methods.  To-day  ladders  are  made  of 
bamboo,  the  rungs  lashed  fast  with  rope,  as  they 
116 


Three  Little  Maids 


A  Watering-Cart 
Wrestlers 


A  Japanese  Mother 


SNAP   SHOTS   OF   JAPAN 

have  been  made  for  generations.  The  streets  are 
watered  with  little  carts  having  a  row  of  holes  at 
the  back,  and  pulled  by  men,  who  fill  them  slowly 
and  laboriously,  one  bucket  at  a  time,  while  the 
sidewalks  are  watered  by  two  perforated  buckets 
suspended  from  a  bamboo  pole  laid  across  the 
shoulders  of  a  man,  who  trots  in  and  out  between 
the  people,  turning  and  twisting  until  the  walk  is 
thoroughly  sprinkled. 

Everything  seems  to  be  done  in  the  most  difficult 
way,  and  those  who  work,  work  very  hard.  The  few 
men  who  have  a  horse-dray  never  sit  and  drive, 
even  when  the  dray  is  empty,  but  always  walk 
ahead,  dragging  the  patient  brute  along.  Loads  are 
more  frequently  carried  on  hand-carts,  pulled  by 
men,  women  or  boys.  In  going  up  a  hill  three  or 
four  men  will  pull  or  push,  intoning  a  sort  of  dro- 
ning song  as  they  work. 

In  the  country  districts  life  in  its  most  primitive 
and  ancient  aspects  may  be  seen.  In  the  rice-fields 
men  and  women  work  side  by  side,  their  ankles 
bleeding  from  contact  with  the  stubble,  wielding 
tools  of  a  pattern  as  old  as  the  cultivation  of  the 
grain. 

The  evolution  of  the  new  Japan  from  the  chrys- 
alis of  the  old  is  an  interesting  study  just  now.  All 
signs  point  toward  the  springing  of  a  new  country, 
full-fledged,  ready  to  spread  its  bright  wings  and 
fly  away  from  the  old  that  has  wrapt  it  close  for 
so  many  centuries.  But  the  time  is  not  yet. 
117 


VI 

THE   EMPEROR'S   BIRTHDAY 

A  Holiday  for  All  Japan — Streets  a  Mass  of  Color — Tiny 
Human  Butterflies — A  Courteous  Crowd — Eight  Thou- 
sand Troops  in  Line — Gold-lace  Diplomats — The  Crown 
Prince  is  Greeted  with  Shouts — Emperor  with  Reverent 
Silence — His  Pace  not  His  Fortune — "Ole  Hats!" — 
Big  Wigs  Swap  Stories — Banquet  in  Imperial  Palace — 
Japanese  Editorial — Ambassador  Griscom  and  His 
Charming  Wife — Stars  and  Stripes  Float  over  Shabbiest 
Buildings. 

THE  third  of  November,  which  is  the  birth- 
day of  the  Emperor  Mutsu-Hito,  and  a  holi- 
day for  all  Japan,  dawned  bright  and  clear, 
and   tho   acceptably  warmer,   after   severely  cold 
weather,  there  was  a  briskness  in  the  air  that  made 
one  feel  glad  to  be  alive.     The  streets  of  Tokyo 
from  early  morning  were  thronged  with  people, 
all  in  their  very  best  and  brightest,  in  honor  of  the 
beloved  monarch,  who  stands  to  them  as  a  sort  of 
deity. 

In  the  hotel  halls  a  gong  was  sounded  at  six 
o'clock  to  arouse  the  guests,  as  those  who  were  go- 
ing to  the  review  of  troops  must  not  be  late. 
When  we  left  the  hotel  at  eight  o'clock  the  streets 
118 


THE    EMPEROR'S   BIRTHDAY 

were  a  mass  of  color.  The  brilliant  Japanese  flag 
was  displayed  everywhere,  together  with  gay  paper 
lanterns  and  pictures.  The  'ricksha-men  were  do- 
ing a  lively  business,  flying  about  in  every  direc- 
tion. The  people,  all  merry  and  bubbling  over  with 
expectancy,  clattered  along  on  their  wooden  clogs, 
leading  or  carrying  on  their  backs  human  but- 
terflies, so  gorgeous  were  the  costumes  of  their 
children. 

The  road  leading  to  the  Aoyama  parade-ground, 
along  which  the  Emperor  would  pass,  was  lined 
with  a  solid  mass  of  people,  not  alone  of  Tokyo, 
but  from  all  the  outlying  districts.  It  was  essen- 
tially a  good-natured  crowd — every  one  smiling  and 
willing  to  do  all  that  they  could  for  the  comfort 
of  their  neighbors.  Certainly  nowhere  in  the  world 
«an  such  gracious  bows  be  seen  when  acquaintances 
pass  on  the  street. 

Eight  thousand  troops  were  to  be  reviewed,  and 
when  we  reached  the  parade-ground  they  were 
drawn  up  in  solid  lines,  where  they  had  been  stand- 
ing for  hours.  People  were  packed  about  the  edges 
of  the  field,  but  those  to  whom  invitations  had  been 
issued  were  comparatively  few.  Tents  and  chairs 
were  provided  for  their  comfort,  matting  spread 
on  the  ground,  and  pits  dug,  in  which  charcoal  fires 
smoldered. 

The  foreign  ministers  and  attaches  were  driven 
up  in  state.  We  saw  many  of  their  carriages  on 
119 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

our  way,  two  footmen  standing  behind,  and  a  groom 
running  ahead  to  clear  the  way.  With  few  excep- 
tions the  streets  in  Japan  have  no  sidewalks,  and  it 
is  necessary  for  drivers  or  'ricksha-men  to  shout 
continually  in  order  to  avoid  running  over  people. 

Civilians  were  requested  to  wear  frock  coats  and 
high  hats — and  among  the  diplomats  there  was  gold 
lace,  buttons  and  plumes  in  sufficient  quantity  to 
captivate  the  heart  of  every  woman  present.  Every 
full-dress  uniform  was  represented,  and  the  assem- 
bly sparkled  and  glittered  like  a  jewel  box.  The 
Chinese  minister  and  his  suite  added  to  the  general 
color  scheme,  drest  as  they  were  in  many-tinted 
brocades,  and  hats  with  scarlet  fringe  depending 
from  the  button  on  top. 

There  was  a  religious  ceremony  early  in  the  morn- 
ing in  the  Imperial  Ancestral  Sanctuary,  at  which 
the  representatives  of  the  Emperor  and  Empress 
and  the  Crown  Prince  and  Princess  were  present. 

About  nine  o'clock  the  Crown  Prince  in  a  car- 
riage with  one  court  gentleman  came  upon  the  field. 
As  the  carriage  entered  the  gate  he  was  greeted 
with  shouts,  a  circumstance  that  struck  with  sur- 
prise every  person  at  all  familiar  with  Japanese 
customs.  Such  reverent  respect  for  the  ruler  and 
his  household  is  instilled  into  the  Japanese  people, 
rooted,  indeed,  by  ages  of  inheritance,  that  any- 
thing as  personal  as  a  cheer  was  never  attempted. 

In  the  days  of  the  Shogunate,  when  any  of  the 
120 


THE    EMPEROR'S   BIRTHDAY 

royal  household  went  abroad,  a  retainer  ran  ahead 
of  the  palanquin  and  shouted  to  the  people  to  go 
into  their  houses  and  close  the  shutters.  Those  who 
could  not  do  so  were  obliged  to  fall  upon  their  faces 
and  not  so  much  as  peep  for  fear  of  instant  exe- 
cution. 

Just  before  the  Emperor  arrived  I  saw  a  little 
encounter,  showing  the  real  and  unofficial  side  of 
two  of  Japan's  greatest  men,  Count  Katsura,  the 
Premier,  and  Marshal  Count  Yamagata,  called  the 
Bismarck  of  Japan,  or  sometimes  the  Grand  Old 
Man. 

These  two  men  met  very  near  me,  and  after  a  for- 
mal salute  greeted  each  other  cordially,  and  then 
apparently  fell  to  exchanging  stories.  The  Grand 
Old  Man  seemed  to  forget  his  manifold  affairs,  and 
quite  doubled  up  with  laughter.  He  and  the  Pre- 
mier exchanged  pleasantries  and  seemed  to  be  try- 
ing to  turn  the  laugh  on  each  other,  like  two  happy 
boys,  to  the  great  amusement  of  a  group  of  officers 
who  stood  near  them.  I  was  just  wishing  they 
would  let  me  in  on  the  ground  floor  when  suddenly 
the  signal  was  given  that  the  royal  equipages  were 
approaching,  and  instantly  the  laughter  died  out 
of  Yamagata 's  kind  old  face,  he  quickly  mounted, 
followed  by  the  Premier,  and  rode  off,  a  stiff  mili- 
tary figure,  his  white  hair  and  mustache  distin- 
guishing him  from  the  others,  as  his  mighty  brain 
and  ability  have  set  him  apart  from  his  fellows. 
121 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

Tho  emancipated  enough  to  break  through  the 
custom  of  ages  and  cheer  the  Prince,  the  Emperor 
was  received  in  dead  silence,  the  head  of  every  Jap- 
anese bowed  reverently  and  eyes  lowered  to  the 
ground. 

The  Emperor's  coach  was  handsome,  but  not  par- 
ticularly ornate,  and  drawn  by  but  one  pair  of 
horses.  In  time  of  war,  and  his  people  in  sorrow 
for  their  loved  ones,  this  lack  of  display  showed  a 
becoming  modesty. 

All  the  pictures  of  the  Emperor  are  excellent  por- 
traits, for  his  face  itself  might  be  a  painted  mask, 
so  still  and  cold  it  is,  and  utterly  expressionless. 
It  is  like  the  face  of  a  Buddha — as  calm  and 
changeless. 

It  could  never  be  said  of  His  Imperial  Majesty 
that  his  face  was  his  fortune,  but  it  did  remind  me 
of  a  little  dialog  I  overheard  at  the  theater  con- 
cerning a  well-known  "leading  man,"  as  follows: 

"Did  you  notice  how  wonderfully  his  face  lights 
up?" 

"Oh,  that's  because  he's  lantern- jawed!" 

His  Majesty  was  drest  in  European  clothes — a 
riding  costume,  white  doeskin  breeches  and  black 
cutaway  coat — boots  and  a  sort  of  military  hat.  It 
did  not  need  a  field-glass  to  see  how  badly  they 
fitted  him.  This  is  owing  to  the  fact  that  his  clothes 
are  all  made  by  guesswork,  the  royal  person  being 
too  sacred  for  a  tailor  to  touch.  I  have  the  same 
122 


THE    EMPEROR'S   BIRTHDAY 

feeling  about  being  "touched"  by  a  tailor,  not  on 
account  of  royalty — but  because  I  have  to  give  up. 
It  reminded  me  of  an  Irish  story  I  used  to  tell. 

"Mike,  it's  a  wonder  to  me  you  don't  wear  bet- 
ter clothes." 

"Well,  I'll  tell  ye— there's  not  a  tailor  in  all 
Dublin  can  measure  me,  I'm  that  ticklish!" 

As  for  the  rest  of  us  our  court  costume  consisted 
principally  of  a  plug  hat.  Everybody  must  wear 
that  unless  he  is  an  official  and  possesses  a  uni- 
form; and  the  array  of  "old-timers"  in  the  way  of 
head-gear  was  something  truly  wonderful.  Heaven 
only  knows  what  dust-bins  or  moth-closets  the  ma- 
jority of  these  came  from !  As  I  was  not  traveling 
with  a  collection  of  opera-hats  among  my  baggage, 
I  got  the  best  I  could,  but  it  was  a  good  thing  I  had 
large  ears  or  I  'd  have  lost  my  head.  I  was  sorry  I 
didn't  bring  a  can-opener  in  my  vest-pocket,  so 
that  I  could  pry  the  hat  off  when  it  came  time  to 
salute  the  Mikado. 

When  he  alighted  from  his  carriage  he  entered 
the  royal  tent,  where  he  received  the  congratulations 
of  the  foreign  ministers  and  some  high  Japanese 
officials,  after  which  he  mounted  a  black  horse,  and 
from  his  saddle  reviewed  the  troops.  It  was  not  a 
very  fine  animal,  but  the  Emperor,  like  the  major- 
ity of  his  subjects,  is  no  horseman,  and  being  timid, 
will  ride  none  but  one  of  venerable  age  and  war- 
ranted absolutely  gentle.  He  certainly  had  what 
123 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

he  wanted  on  this  occasion,  for  his  horse  reminded 
me  of  the  time  .1  got  on  a  Fifth  Avenue  stage  one 
day  and  found  I  had  nothing  less  than  a  two-dol- 
lar bill  in  my  pocket.  I  gave  it  to  the  driver,  and 
he  asked  me  which  horse  I  wanted. 

The  troops  were  all  new  recruits  and  when  that 
is  taken  into  consideration,  they  marched  remark- 
ably well.  The  "  goose-step, "  used  now  only  in  a 
few  countries  for  review,  was  in  order,  and  the  long 
lines  of  men,  all  stepping  out  proudly,  was  an  im- 
pressive sight,  tho  to  irreverent  American  eyes 
rather  suggestive  of  the  march  of  the  Toys  in  ' '  The 
Babes  in  Toyland." 

The  men  were  not  in  full  dress,  but  wore  service 
uniform,  as  is  usual  in  ordinary  times. 

The  Emperor  finished  his  fifty-second  year  on  the 
third  of  November,  1905,  having  had  a  reign  of 
thirty-seven  years.  There  is  probably  no  monarch 
in  the  world  beloved  by  his  people  with  such  a  pas- 
sion of  reverent  adoration.  He  is,  to  them,  a  mirac- 
ulous personality,  heaven-born,  and  worthy  of  all 
worship.  Their  lives  belong  to  him,  and  it  is  es- 
teemed an  honor  by  the  Japanese  people  to  die  for 
their  Emperor;  their  country  is  a  secondary  con- 
sideration. 

It  is  still  believed  in  the  country  districts  of  Nip- 
pon, where  old  customs  and  beliefs  thrive,  that  to 
look  upon  the  face  of  the  Emperor  is  to  be  smitten 
blind,  so  dazzling  is  the  radiance  that  shines  from  it. 

124 


THE    EMPEROR'S   BIRTHDAY 

The  same  idea  is  embodied  in  a  lesser  degree  in 
the  custom  of  never  looking  at  the  Emperor.  His 
court  gentlemen  never  raise  their  eyes  to  his  face; 
even  the  high  dignitary  who  sat  opposite  the  Em- 
peror in  the  carriage  had  his  head  bowed  and  his 
eyes  cast  down. 

When  the  review  was  ended,  the  crowds  of  people 
broke  across  the  field  to  the  carriage  of  the  Crown 
Prince,  shouting  "Banzai!"  ("live  ten  thousand 
years!")  and  it  was  utterly  impossible  for  the 
guards  to  restrain  them.  Such  a  demonstration  was 
entirely  without  precedent,  and  was  probably  due 
to  the  war  excitement,  which,  tho  not  apparent,  was 
nevertheless  seething  at  white  heat  beneath  the 
crust  of  self-restraint  that  has  been  taught  the  peo- 
ple of  Japan  for  generations. 

After  the  review  the  usual  birthday  banquet  in 
the  Imperial  Palace  was  given.  The  ministers  of 
State,  the  high  military,  naval,  and  civil  officials 
were  invited,  together  with  the  foreign  represent- 
atives. His  Majesty  personally  attended  the  ban- 
quet, which  was  an  unusual  circumstance,  as  he 
seldom  appears  in  public.  He  made  a  short  speech, 
which  was  translated  by  Baron  Sannomiya,  Chief 
of  the  Board  of  Ceremonies.  It  was  confidently 
expected  that  the  news  of  the  fall  of  Port  Arthur 
would  be  announced  on  the  Emperor's  birthday. 

When  we  returned  from  the  parade-ground  the 
"gogai,"  or  men  who  sell  the  news  extras,  were 
125 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

running  about  the  streets  with  bunches  of  bells  at- 
tached to  their  girdles.  I  bought  an  extra  and  had 
it  translated.  Contrary  to  expectation,  it  an- 
nounced only  that  Port  Arthur  was  in  a  critical 
condition  and  liable  to  be  taken  at  any  moment. 

While  I  was  having  it  translated  people  in  the 
streets  crowded  about,  eager  to  hear  the  news,  but 
too  poor  to  pay  three  sen  for  an  extra.  My  'rick- 
sha-man dramatically  announced  the  news  to  them, 
to  their  great  delight. 

The  Japanese  papers  all  had  editorials  extend- 
ing their  congratulations  to  the  Emperor.  A  short 
quotation  here  will  serve  to  give  an  idea  of  the  cer- 
emonial language  of  Japan  and  the  attitude  of  mind 
toward  the  Emperor.  The  ' '  Yomiuri ' '  said : 

"His  Imperial  Majesty,  Japan's  most  illustrious 
and  well-beloved  Emperor,  the  great  ruler  of  Asia's 
great  nation,  this  third  day  of  November  enters 
upon  his  fifty-third  year  of  glorious  existence.  And 
we,  in  common  with  our  patriotic  countrymen  the 
world  over,  would  celebrate  this  Imperial  Birthday 
with  that  passion  of  loyalty  peculiarly  characteris- 
tic of  this  nation.  We  are  to-day  engaged  in  an 
intensely  bitter  struggle  with  Russia.  Yet  in  spite 
of  the  disparity  in  the  numerical  strength  of  the 
two  nations,  our  arms,  whether  on  sea  or  land  have, 
from  the  inception  of  hostilities  been  crowned  with 
victory,  so  that  the  fame  of  our  national  prowess 
has  reechoed  to  the  farthest  quarter  of  the  globe, 
126 


THE    EMPEROR'S    BIRTHDAY 

as  has  the  thunder  of  our  cannon  reverberated  in 
the  chilly  skies  of  Manchuria. ' ' 

Which  quotation  seems  to  show  that,  notwith- 
standing the  humble  and  lowly  attitude  of  the  Jap- 
anese people  toward  their  Emperor,  they  evidently 
think  very  well  of  themselves. 

At  Tokyo  we  met  Mr.  Lloyd  Griscom,  the  most 
popular  ambassador  our  country  has  ever  had  in 
the  Far  East.  Mr.  Griscom  is  a  Philadelphian,  his 
father  being  one  of  the  millionaires  of  that  exclu- 
sive city.  His  wife,  a  charming  and  gracious  lady, 
and  most  undeniably  to  the  manner  born,  was  a 
noted  belle  in  New  York. 

We  were  compelled  to  note  everywhere  that  the 
American  embassies  and  consulates  were  the  poorest 
and  shabbiest;  even  little  Switzerland  and  Hol- 
land beating  us  in  that  respect.  This  was  very  hu- 
miliating, especially  as  Uncle  Sam  can  easily  afford 
to  house  his  representatives  in  better  style.  But  he 
pays  such  stingy  salaries,  our  ministers  and  ambas- 
sadors have  to  be  millionaires  to  keep  up  at  all. 

Every  American  who  goes  abroad  feels  the  same, 
and  that  the  beautiful  stars  and  stripes  deserve  the 
handsomest  building  of  all  to  float  over. 


127 


VII 
VISIT  TO  A  JAPANESE  THEATER,  TOKYO 

Theater  of  Old  Japan  Now  Merely  Legendary — We  Set  Out 
for  the  Theater — Tokyo  a  City  of  Magnificent  Distances 
— Whirled  in  a  'Ricksha — Street  Signs — Open  Shops — 
Shrill  Horn  of  the  Candy  Seller — Paper  Lanterns  for 
Practical  Use — Soft  Minor  Note  of  the  Blind  Masseur — 
Perfect  Stage  Setting — Takata,  Great  Woman  Imper- 
sonator— Dan jiro,  Most  Famous  Female  Impersonator — 
Actors'  Private  Curtains — Wonderful  Audience — Every- 
body Smoking — Paddy  and  the  Trombone — Children 
Everywhere — Sata,  the  Great  Actor — No  Lack  of  Fine 
Acting — Must  be  "Letter  Perfect"  in  Three  Days — 
Orchestra  and  Electric  Lights — Fortunate  in  Seeing 
First  Performance  of  Modern  Plays. 

THE  theater  has  always  been  a  favorite  form 
of  recreation  among  the  Japanese,  and  espe- 
cially beloved  of  the  Japanese  woman,  for 
it  is  her  only  amusement,  and  the  only  public  place 
where  she  may  accompany  her  husband. 

The  theater  of  old  Japan,  with  its  strutting  leg- 
endary heroes,  its  ancient  costumes,  and  actors  who 
carried  their  own  lanterns  in  order  to  light  the  ex- 
pressions of  their  faces,  is  practically  a  thing  of  the 
past.  While  many  of  the  old  customs  still  survive, 
modern  inventions  and  appliances  have  been 
128 


VISIT    TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

grafted  upon  them  with  the  effect  of  producing 
some  startling  contrasts.  The  Japs,  eager  to  grasp 
European  ideas  and  fashions,  have  made  use  of 
some,  but  left  many  as  they  have  been  for  gener- 
ations. 

For  instance,  in  the  most  progressive  and  up-to- 
date  theater  in  Tokyo  they  have  electric  lights  (no 
footlights,  however),  and  a  European  orchestra, 
but  still  make  the  exits  and  entrances  along  a  raised 
platform  running  back  through  the  theater  above 
the  heads  of  the  people.  This  platform  is  called 
"The  Flowery  Way,"  and  has  been  used  for  gen- 
erations. A  custom  which  may  be  as  ancient  as  the 
Flowery  Way,  but  is  surely  a  good  one  for  drum- 
ming up  trade,  is  an  amusing  thing  they  do  in  some 
of  the  theaters  that  are  built  to  run  through  to 
another  street.  This  is  slightly  to  lift  the  curtain 
at  the  back  of  the  stage,  which  causes  a  crowd  to 
gather,  who  peep  under,  stealing  a  chance  to  enjoy 
the  play.  Just  as  the  interest  has  become  breath- 
less, the  curtain  will  suddenly  descend  and  the  dis- 
appointed crowd,  eager  to  know  what  has  happened 
to  the  villain,  rush  around  to  the  front  and  buy 
tickets — a  sort  of  " continued  in  our  next"  idea, 
that  helps  business  and  lets  a  little  light  in  as  to  the 
reason  why  the  Japanese  are  called  "the  Yankees 
of  the  East" 

Let  us  make  a  visit  to  this  hybrid  theater  where 
the  ideas  of  old  and  new  Japan  nourish  together. 
129 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE   WORLD 

The  play  begins  at  ten  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and 
lasts  until  four  in  the  afternoon.  Then  another  set 
of  actors  take  the  boards  and  play  until  eleven  in 
the  evening. 

We  may  go  at  any  hour;  so  suppose  we  start  at 
five.  Our  'rickshas,  drawn  by  strapping  Japs 
wearing  white  suits  with  short  trousers,  showing 
the  wonderful  development  of  thigh  and  calf  mus- 
cles, are  whirled  through  back  streets  for  at  least 
three  miles.  Tokyo  is  a  city  of  magnificent  dis- 
tances. 

On  our  way  we  are  sure  to  see  every  characteris- 
tic of  street  life.  The  Japanese,  in  their  eagerness 
to  adopt  European  ways  and  customs,  have  swal- 
lowed such  a  large  meal  they  are  not  able  to  di- 
gest it,  and  no  better  illustration  of  this  can  be 
found  than  their  pretentious  and  truly  wonderful 
street  signs.  As  a  specimen  of  English  as  she  is 
Japped,  the  following,  culled  from  a  choice,  and 
I  might  say  startling,  collection,  is  respectfully  sub- 
mitted. The  spelling  and  punctuation  are  especially 
worth  noting: 

On  a  baker's  cart:  "By  Cake  &  A  Piece  of. 
Bread." 

Over  a  ladies'  tailor  shop:  "Draper,  Millener  & 
Ladies  Outfatter.  The  ribbons,  the  laces,  the  veils, 
the  feelings"  (frillings?). 

Over  a  furniture  shop:  "Chair.  Cochon.  (couch?) 
&  Matties"  (Mantels?). 

130 


VISIT   TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

On  a  dairy  window:  "Pest  Milk."  (Rather  alarm- 
ing, but  probably  means  best.) 

On  a  druggist's:  "Best  Perfuming  Water  Anti- 
Flea." 

'  At  a  liquor  dealer's.  Labels  on  bottles:  "Fogren 
County  (Foreign  country)  Wines.  Little  Seal.  St. 
Julien  bottled  by  Bordeaux." 

Over  a  laundry :  ' '  We  most  cleanly  and  carefully 
wash  our  customers  with  cheap  prices  as  under. 
Ladies  eight  shillings  per  hundred.  Gentlemen 
seven  shillings." 

A  dentist's  sign:  "Noties.  Our  tooth  is  a  very 
important  organ  for  human  life  and  countenance  as 
you  know ;  therefore  when  it  is  attack  by  disease  or 
injury,  artificial  tooth  is  also  very  useful. ' ' 

Japanese  substitute  for  coffee:  "Japan  insted  of 
Coffee.  More  men  is  got  dropsy  of  the  legs  who  us 
(use?)  this  coffee,  which  is  contain  nourish." 

Photographer's  studio:  "Photographer  Exe- 
cuted." 

Over  a  barber's  shop:  "Head  Cutter." 

Over  a  tailor's:  "The  European  Monkey  Jacket 
made  for  the  Japanese. ' ' 

I  reserve  the  gems  of  the  collection  for  the  last: 
"Fulish.  Ruttr.  Craim.  Milk."  (Fresh  Butter, 
Cream,  Milk.) 

Over  an  egg  shop :  ' '  Extract  of  Fowl. ' ' 

Every  one  lives  on  the  street,  the  fronts  of  the 
houses  are  open,  and  all  sorts  of  little  domestic 
131 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

dramas  are  enacted  within  full  view  of  the  passer- 
by, with  the  most  naive  unconsciousness.  It  is  get- 
ting toward  dusk,  and  many  of  the  shops  are  clo- 
sing. Those  where  second-hand  kimonos  are  for 
sale  are  preparing  for  the  night,  for  men  are  taking 
down  the  many-colored  kimonos  from  the  bamboo 
poles  where  they  have  swung  in  front  of  the  shop 
all  day. 

A  horn,  shrill  but  sweet,  is  heard  playing  a  sort 
of  short  scale  of  a  few  notes,  and  this  means  that  a 
vender  of  candy  is  coming  along.  Presently  we 
see  him ;  a  boy,  pulling  his  gay  little  cart  containing 
all  sorts  of  confections  in  glass  boxes.  The  Japa- 
nese are  very  fond  of  sweets,  and  these  candy  men 
may  be  seen  in  all  parts  of  the  city.  A  whistle,  as 
of  escaping  steam,  proclaims  the  vender  of  hot  rice. 
He  is  much  patronized  by  the  'ricksha-men,  who 
are  nomads  from  morning  until  night. 

Our  'rickshas  stop,  and  our  men  light  their  paper 
lanterns.  It  seems  absurd  to  have  a  paper  lantern 
for  practical  use,  but  the  little  candles  of  greenish- 
gray  wax  burn  steadily  and  give  a  clear  light.  We 
meet  many  people  carrying  paper  lanterns,  so  we 
see  that  what  has  always  been  to  us  a  mere  thing 
for  decoration  only  is  in  this  toy-box  of  a  country 
an  article  for  practical  use.  The  lights  in  the 
houses  and  shops  disclose  interesting  family 
groups. 

An  indescribably  soft  and  sweet  pipe  is  heard 
132 


VISIT    TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

blowing  three  minor  notes.  This  is  the  call  of  the 
blind  masseur,  either  a  man  or  a  woman,  not  in- 
frequently a  boy  or  a  girl.  The  Japanese  are  great 
believers  in  massage,  and  employ  these  blind  mas- 
seurs constantly.  There  are  many  blind  people  in 
Japan,  and  it  is  rather  depressing  at  first  to  a  for- 
eigner to  see  such  numbers  of  them  groping  their 
way  about,  almost  invariably  alone.  But  one  comes 
to  realize  after  a  while  that  they  seem  happy  and 
cheerful,  and  a  wholesome  respect  for  their  useful 
busy  lives  takes  the  place  of  sympathy. 

After  seeing  these  characteristic  sights  repeated 
again  and  again  on  our  way  through  the  streets, 
we  reach  the  theater,  quite  an  imposing  building 
of  stone,  and  alighting  from  our  'rickshas  enter  the 
lobby.  Quite  likely  the  attendant  will  insist  that 
we  remove  our  shoes,  but  if  we  have  a  guide  he  can 
gain  a  concession  for  us. 

When  we  enter,  the  play  is  in  progress,  and  we 
realize  at  once  that  Europe  or  America  can  teach 
the  Japanese  very  little  about  stage  setting.  It  is 
a  night  scene,  a  crescent  moon  in  the  sky,  and  black 
hills  in  the  distance,  against  which  the  lights  of 
houses  show  brightly.  A  bridge  in  the  center  leads 
back  over  a  river,  and  trees  and  shrubs  that  are  not 
painted,  but  real  and  growing,  are  disposed  natu- 
rally about  the  stage. 

A  man  and  a  woman  are  on  the  stage,  she  crying, 
and  he  is  trying  to  comfort  her.  Our  guide  explains 
133 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

to  us  that  she  was  about  to  commit  suicide  because 
of  the  financial  ruin  of  her  husband. 

The  part  of  the  woman  is  played  by  Takata,  one 
of  the  greatest  impersonators  of  women  in  Japan. 
There  are  no  actresses,  all  the  parts  being  assumed 
by  men.  This  particular  actor  is  so  conscientious 
that,  in  order  to  retain  the  atmosphere  of  his  im- 
personations, while  at  home  he  dresses,  talks,  acts, 
and  generally  comports  himself  as  a  woman  would. 

Danjiro,  another  of  the  most  famous  imperson- 
ators of  women  in  Japan,  is  reported  to  have  made 
up  so  perfectly  as  a  girl  of  seventeen,  when  he  was 
sixty-five  years  old,  that  when  he  went  to  his  own 
house  and  asked  to  see  Danjiro,  his  wife  did  not 
know  him,  and  in  a  fit  of  jealous  anger  berated 
him  for  a  shameless  girl  coming  there  to  see  her 
husband. 

Meantime,  the  play  goes  forward.  The  old  man, 
who  is  a  relative  of  the  girl  he  has  saved,  gives  her 
notes  of  the  bank  of  Japan  for  three  thousand  yen. 
Her  tearful  gratitude  and  his  modest  depreciation 
of  his  generosity  are  as  fine  bits  of  acting  as  may  be 
seen  on  any  stage  in  the  world. 

Her  husband  approaches  and  the  old  man  runs 
off  across  the  "Flowery  Way,"  begging  her  not  to 
let  his  charity  be  known. 

The  husband  is  suspicious  and  asks  her  why  she 
was  talking  with  that  man.  Her  promise  given, 
she  can  not  answer,  and  after  a  fiery  scene  he  spurns 

134 


VISIT    TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

her  and  the  curtain  is  drawn  to  the  solemn  banging 
of  a  drum  and  the  high-pitched  mournful  song  of 
some  one  in  the  distance. 

Each  principal  actor  has  his  own  curtain  with 
his  name  on  it,  usually  the  gift  of  a  number  of  ad- 
miring friends  or  of  some  firm  that  wishes  to  gain 
the  advertisement.  This  one  belongs  to  an  actor 
named  Sata,  and  has  been  presented  to  him  by  a 
large  tea  company.  Its  name  is  printed  on  one 
side,  and  "Compliments  to  Sata"  on  the  other  in 
Japanese  characters  of  course. 

Danjiro  owns  the  finest  curtain  in  Japan,  pre- 
sented to  him  by  the  Geisha  of  Tokyo,  who  each 
gave  a  hundred  yen.  It  is  of  silk,  embroidered  as 
only  the  Japanese  know  how,  and  to  see  it  is  well 
worth  the  price  of  admission. 

When  the  lights  go  up  we  can  see  the  audience, 
many  of  the  women  reduced  to  tears  by  the  sad 
plight  of  the  unhappy  young  wife.  The  theater 
is  the  only  place  where  custom  permits  any  public 
exhibition  of  emotion.  As  women  are  generally 
supposed  to  enjoy  nothing  so  much  as  a  good  cry, 
this  privilege  must  be  a  great  comfort  to  the  Jap- 
anese female  sex. 

The  entire  lower  floor  of  the  theater  is  divided 
into  little  boxes  about  four  feet  square,  by  parti- 
tions not  more  than  four  or  five  inches  high.  About 
five  yen  are  paid  for  these  boxes,  and  they  hold  four 
people,  who  kneel  on  matting  rugs. 
135 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

The  best  seats  are  the  boxes  along  the  sides  of  the 
balcony,  which  also  hold  four  people,  and  cost  six 
yen.  As  a  yen  is  worth  fifty  cents  of  American 
money,  it  may  be  seen  that  the  prices  of  Japanese 
theaters,  by  comparison  with  those  of  Europe  or 
America,  are  very  reasonable. 

Cheaper  seats  are  to  be  had  back  of  a  walkway 
on  the  lower  floor,  and  the  cheapest  of  all  are  in 
the  back  part  of  the  balcony,  which  compares  with 
the  gallery  in  an  American  theater. 

In  each  box  is  a  little  stove  rented  from  the 
theater.  They  are  about  six  inches  square  and  ten 
or  twelve  inches  high,  with  a  little  fire  of  charcoal 
smoldering  in  them.  These  are  to  warm  the  hands 
by,  and  also  for  lighting  pipes.  Both  men  and 
women  are  smoking  the  Japanese  pipe,  which  has  a 
ridiculous  little  bowl,  about  as  large  as  a  fair-sized 
marrowfat  pea,  that  is  good  for  about  three  puffs 
and  then  has  to  be  refilled  and  lighted  again.  Mild 
tobacco  is  used  that  smells  and  looks  like  burning 
red  hair. 

At  this  juncture  our  ears  are  assailed  by  the  most 
heartrending  sounds  that  chill  the  blood  in  our 
veins.  It  is  the  European  orchestra !  The  smiling 
guide  tells  us,  "European  orchestra  very  nice — 
Japanese  people  like  very  much!" 

It  is  to  be  hoped  that  their  ear  for  European 
music  will  develop  with  their  appreciation,  for  at 
present,  with  the  exception  of  the  Imperial  Band, 
136 


VISIT    TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

and  that  belonging  to  one  of  the  hotels  in  Yoko- 
hama, the  orchestras  and  bands  in  Japan  are  things 
to  dream  about  after  dining  on  Welsh  rarebit  and 
mince  pie.  And  even  the  two  exceptions  have  many 
things  to  learn,  one  in  particular  being  that  rag-time 
coon-songs  should  not  be  played  like  funeral  dirges. 
The  native  orchestras  of  samisen,  drum  and  whis- 
tle are  a  positive  relief  in  comparison.  I  watched 
the  fellow  who  played  the  trombone,  and  he  toiled 
so  industriously  at  it,  I  was  reminded  of  the  Irish- 
man who  was  watching  a  German  play  a  trombone. 
Presently  Dutchy  laid  down  his  instrument  and 
went  out  for  a  beer.  Paddy  investigated  and 
promptly  pulled  the  horn  to  pieces.  Dutchy  re- 
turned. 

"Who's  meddled  mit  my  drombone?"  he  roared. 

' '  Oi  did, ' '  said  Paddy.  ' '  Here  ye  've  been  for  two 
hours  tryin'  to  pull  it  apart  an'  Oi  did  it  in  wan 
minut!" 

In  the  audience  men  are  hurrying  about  with 
large  trays  containing  bowls  of  rice,  fruit  and  tea. 
The  people  are  eating  and  drinking.  The  children, 
who  have  unlimited  privileges  in  Japan,  are  run- 
ning about  unrebuked,  even  tho  some  of  them 
climb  on  the  stage  and  peep  under  the  curtain. 

There  are  many  women  in  the  audience  with 

babies  strapped  on  their  backs,  some  of  them  mere 

tiny  bundles  of  flowered  stuff  enwrapping  babies 

of  not  more  than  two  or  three  months,  and  tho 

137 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

there  are  numbers  of  these,  not  one  is  heard  to  cry. 
One  wonders,  are  they  hypnotized  or  drugged? 

Young  children  are  drest  very  gaily;  the 
younger  they  are  the  brighter  the  colors,  so  that 
the  babies  are  veritable  butterflies.  As  they  grow 
older  the  clothes  become  darker,  until  in  old  age 
they  are  transformed  into  little  gray  moths. 

A  sharp  noise,  made  by  striking  two  pieces  of 
hard  wood  together,  announces  that  the  next  act  is 
about  to  begin.  The  intervals  between  acts  are  usu- 
ally about  ten  minutes. 

As  the  curtain  is  drawn  aside,  the  pieces  of  wood 
tap  together  faster  and  faster,  until  the  stage  is 
disclosed. 

This  time  it  is  a  house,  the  front  open,  chrys- 
anthemums growing  about  the  door.  At  intervals 
the  shrill  note  of  an  insect  is  heard. 

Sata,  the  great  actor,  is  seated  on  the  floor;  he 
is  in  a  state  of  intoxication,  and  keeps  drinking 
from  a  bottle  in  front  of  him. 

His  father-in-law  is  pleading  with  him  to  grant 
a  divorce  to  his  daughter,  as  his  constant  intoxica- 
tion and  ill  treatment  of  her  are  hard  to  bear.  The 
drunkard  refuses,  and  the  scene  between  the  men 
is  a  powerful  one,  a  knowledge  of  the  language  be- 
ing unnecessary  in  order  to  appreciate  their  really 
great  acting. 

The  revolving  stage,  used  in  all  Japanese  thea- 
ters, is  seen  in  this  act,  as  the  entire  stage  turns, 

138 


VISIT    TO   A   JAPANESE    THEATER 

bringing  into  view  a  different  scene,  the  old  man's 
house. 

The  play  proceeds  through  several  acts,  to  a 
European  or  American  in  rather  a  disjointed  man- 
ner and  without  much  sequence,  but  with  no  lack 
of  fine  acting. 

Just  before  the  last  act  the  ushers  bring  in  the 
sandals  and  clogs  that  have  been  checked,  so  there 
will  be  no  confusion  and  delay  when  the  theater  is 
out. 

But  three  days  are  allowed  for  rehearsal,  and 
in  that  time  they  must  be  letter  perfect,  for  a  Jap- 
anese audience  is  a  critical  one. 

Approbation  is  announced  by  clapping  the  hands, 
but  audible  comments  are  frequent. 

When  we  go  out  our  'ricksha-men,  wrapt  in 
their  rugs,  hurry  from  the  gallery  where  they  have 
been  enjoying  the  play.  The  orchestra  and  the 
electric  lights  are  not  the  only  innovations  in  this 
theater.  The  idea  of  a  play  of  modern  Japanese 
life  is  entirely  new,  and  we  were  fortunate  in  see- 
ing the  first  performance  of  one  of  the  few  modern 
plays  ever  enacted  in  Japan. 


139 


VIII 

A  GLANCE  AT  THE  JAPANESE  FIRE  AND 
POLICE  DEPARTMENTS 

The  Watchman  and  His  Clanking  Sword — Primitive  Fire- 
House  Methods — Only  Three  Steam-Engines  in  Yoko- 
hama— Hitched  Up  After  Alarm  is  Sent  in — Fires  Get 
Tremendous  Headway — Easy  Jump  from  Low  Build- 
ings— Whole  Outfit  Seems  Like  a  Toy — I  Get  a  Permit 
and  Visit  a  Police  Station — School  for  Ju-jutsu — Fine 
Exhibition  of  Wrestling — Troupe  of  Traveling  Ama- 
zon Wrestlers — Broadway  Squad  Might  Benefit — Minis- 
ter of  Justice  Gives  Me  a  Permit  to  Visit  Sugamo 
Prison,  Tokyo — "I  am  an  American,  and  Glad  of  It" 
— Nat  Goodwin 's  Dog — Watch  Five  Corridors  at  Once — 
Chaplain  Exhorts — Well  Fed,  Well  Taken  Care  of,  and 
Certainly  Contented— Imprisonment  in  Japan  not  the 
Worst  Thing  Could  Befall  a  Man. 

ONE  evening  while  going  through  a  street  in 
Japanese  Town,  Yokohama,  I  heard  a  clank- 
ing sound  at  regular  intervals,  and  found 
it  was  made  by  a  man  who  as  he  walked  along  was 
striking  a  sword  on  the  ground.     At  the  concus- 
sion two  plates  of  bronze  or  brass  were  driven  to- 
gether, making  a  metallic  clang.     I  was  told  that 
he  was  a  watchman,  paid  by  contributions  of  a  few 
sen  a  month  from  the  households  along  the  way. 

140 


JAPANESE   FIREMEN   AND   POLICE 

As  he  clangs  his  sword,  it  is  a  comfortable  assurance 
to  these  people  that  all  is  well. 

This  watchman  is  for  fire  purposes  chiefly,  as  the 
houses  of  the  Japanese  town  are  almost  all  of  wood, 
and  a  fire  once  started  means  wide-spread  destruc- 
tion before  it  can  be  got  under  control. 

The  few  exceptions  to  wooden  houses  are  the  go- 
downs,  or  stone  houses,  with  very  thick  walls  of 
clay,  roofed  with  heavy  tiles.  All  houses,  except 
those  in  the  country  that  are  thatched  with  straw, 
are  roofed  with  these  tiles,  fluted  and  scalloped, 
giving  the  habitations  a  very  picturesque  appear- 
ance. 

At  the  different  fire-stations  men  in  high  towers 
watch  for  fires,  and  at  the  first  indication  ring  the 
large  bell  that  hangs  in  the  tower. 

There  are  about  three  steam  fire-engines  in  Yoko- 
hama, which  boasts  one  of  the  best  fire  depart- 
ments in  Japan.  These  engines  are  drawn  by 
horses,  which  have  to  be  hitched  up  after  the  alarm 
is  sent  in. 

The  firemen  do  not  come  into  line  at  the  fire- 
house,  being  always  in  readiness,  as  in  the  States, 
but  are  employed  at  other  work,  principally  as 
street-cleaners.  While  the  horses  are  being  har- 
nessed, the  engine  fired,  and  the  firemen  gathered 
from  different  portions  of  the  district,  a  con- 
flagration has  ample  time  to  get  under  tremendous 
headway.  It  is  not  surprising  that  when  a  fire  once 
141 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

starts  it  becomes  almost  without  exception  a  de- 
structive one.  Owing  to  the  prevalence  of  fires  in 
Tokyo,  where  there  are  many  every  day,  the  entire 
city  having  been  destroyed  time  and  again,  the 
familiar  name  for  fires  has  come  to  be  ' '  the  Flower 
of  Yeddo." 

The  light  wooden  houses  built  of  pine,  with  parti- 
tions of  paper  screens,  are  perfect  tinder-boxes, 
and  it  speaks  well  for  the  fire  department,  inade- 
quate as  it  seems,  that  the  entire  city  of  Yokohama 
is  not  swept  again  and  again  by  devouring  confla- 
grations. 

The  fire  department  is  not  a  city  organization, 
but  is  conducted  by  the  fire-insurance  companies, 
which  support  it  jointly  for  their  mutual  protec- 
tion. 

The  police  lend  their  aid  to  the  fire  department, 
and  have  at  every  police  station  a  hand-cart  loaded 
with  hooks  and  extension  ladders  and  a  canvas  net 
with  twenty  loops  of  rope  around  the  edge,  to  be 
held  by  ten  men.  To  jump  from  a  high  building 
on  to  this  piece  of  canvas  would  hurt  a  person  as 
badly  as  striking  the  ground,  but  the  Japanese 
buildings  are  never  more  than  a  story  and  a  half  or 
two  stories  in  height,  and  the  ceilings  are  so  low 
that  a  two-story  building  is  no  higher  than  one 
Btory,  measured  by  Western  standards. 

On  this  little  cart  are  also  carried  two  folding 
screens  of  asbestos,  about  five  feet  high,  with  which 

142 


JAPANESE   FIREMEN   AND   POLICE 

the  men  protect  themselves  when  facing  the  fire.  To 
any  one  familiar  with  the  New  York  fire  depart- 
ment the  whole  outfit  seems  like  a  toy. 

At  the  first  alarm  of  fire,  which  is  communicated 
to  them  by  telephone,  the  police  run  to  the  house 
in  which  the  little  cart  is  kept  and  pull  it  out, 
meanwhile  ringing  a  bell  to  summon  the  firemen, 
who  may  be  working  in  the  neighborhood. 

The  Japanese  cry  of  ' '  Hello ! "  at  the  telephone  is 
"  Moshi-moshi ! "  An  excited  citizen  communica- 
ting the  news  of  a  fire  is  one  of  the  funniest  things 
imaginable. 

The  police  department  will  bear  much  better 
comparison  with  those  of  other  countries  than  the 
fire  department.  In  fact,  from  what  I  saw  of  it, 
it  imprest  me  as  a  very  well-conducted  service,  with 
many  points  that  could  be  imitated  by  the  depart- 
ments of  other  countries  to  considerable  advantage. 

When,  with  a  permit  of  inspection,  I  visited  one 
of  the  seven  police  stations  in  Yokohama,  the  su- 
perintendent, who  had  been  advised  of  my  coming, 
met  me  with  profound  bows,  but  not  a  word  of 
English.  I  was  beginning  to  feel  rather  discour- 
aged when  an  interpreter  was  produced,  and  we 
started  off  to  inspect  the  station-house. 

I  was  told  that  about  one  hundred  and  twenty- 
five  police  belong  to  each  station-house.  Their 
names  are  written  on  little  blocks  of  wood,  in  red 
on  one  side  and  black  on  the  other.  The  men  are 
143 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

on  duty  in  the  station-house  for  two  hours,  and 
outside  two  hours,  and  the  little  blocks  are  turned 
as  they  come  in  or  go  out,  the  red  or  black  showing 
the  superintendent  at  a  glance  just  where  the  men 
are. 

The  prisoners  may  be  detained  here  only  ten 
days,  and  the  maximum  fine  is  one  yen  ten  sen,  or 
fifty-five  cents  American  money. 

We  were  shown  the  cells,  which  were  about  ten 
feet  square,  fairly  light,  very  airy,  and  immacu- 
lately clean.  There  were  but  five  prisoners  at  the 
station-house,  all  detained  for  petty  offenses — 'rick- 
sha-men overcharging,  and  similar  arraignments. 
Their  names  were  on  little  wooden  tags  hung  out- 
side the  door.  These  were  turned  inside,  however, 
and  upon  no  consideration  were  to  be  looked  at  ex- 
cept by  the  proper  authority.  The  side  that  is  clear 
has  only  the  date  of  incarceration  and  length  of 
sentence  printed  on  it. 

This  delicacy  in  screening  the  identity  of  the 
prisoner  was  certainly  a  kindly  thought,  unusual  in 
such  relations. 

The  guard  opened  a  couple  of  occupied  cells, 
showing  the  prisoners,  comprizing  one  man  alone 
in  one  cell,  while  three  together  were  in  the  other. 
They  looked  very  comfortable,  kneeling  on  straw 
mats,  which  are  also  their  beds. 

While  on  our  tour  of  inspection  the  most  fright- 
ful cries  came  at  intervals  from  one  part  of  the 
144 


The  Emperor's  Carriage 
A  Messenger  Boy 


A  Smiling  Reception 
The  Emperor  of  Japan 


JAPANESE   FIREMEN   AND   POLICE 

main  building.  As  they  continued  I  began  to  be 
assailed  by  a  nervous  apprehension  that  I  might 
be  called  upon  to  witness  some  horrible  torture,  for 
I  felt  sure  that  nothing  short  of  that  could  call 
forth  such  unearthly  yells. 

When  I  was  conducted  into  a  large  room,  where 
about  twenty  men  in  very  abbreviated  white  linen 
suits  were  squatting  about,  the  shouts  were  ex- 
plained. Here  was  the  school  for  the  famous 
ju-jutsu,  which  is  acknowledged  to  be  the  most 
effective  and  deadly  form  of  wrestling. 

We  were  given  seats  on  the  edge  of  a  platform, 
and  two  muscular  Japs  sprang  on  to  the  mats  in 
the  middle  of  the  room.  First  they  bowed,  by 
squatting  down,  leaning  their  left  hands  on  the  floor 
and  bowing  their  heads.  Then  standing  erect,  first 
one  and  then  the  other  gave  vent  to  one  of  the 
blood-curdling  cries  I  had  heard.  This  is  the  chal- 
lenge, intended  to  intimidate  the  antagonist.  Sud- 
denly they  clutched  each  other  and  straining  and 
struggling,  each  strove  to  dislodge  the  other's  feet 
from  the  floor. 

All  at  once  one  of  the  men  made  a  quick  move, 
which  it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  explain, 
and  his  antagonist  was  hurled  backward  over  his 
shoulder,  landing  on  the  mats  with  a  terrific 
thud. 

This  performance  was  gone  through  with  a  num- 
ber of  times,  with  infinite  variety  in  tactics  and 
145 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

methods  of  bringing  about  the  fall,  the  most  mar- 
velous skill  and  training  being  displayed. 

In  addition  to  the  male  wrestlers  of  Japan,  there 
is  one  band — and  one  only — of  women  wrestlers — 
Amazons  of  enormous  strength,  who  travel  about 
giving  exhibitions.  Their  physical  beauty  and  devel- 
opment are  wonderful,  and  they  create  the  greatest 
enthusiasm  and  admiration  wherever  they  appear. 

In  the  practise  of  ju-jutsu  it  needs  quite  as  much 
skill  to  fall  without  being  hurt  as  it  does  to  bring 
about  the  fall.  The  ju-jutsu  is  an  exact  science, 
every  move  having  meaning,  the  ultimate  object 
being  to  disable  the  opponent. 

Every  man  on  the  Japanese  police  force  is  re- 
quired to  become  proficient  in  the  ju-jutsu.  Every 
day  there  is  practise,  with  the  best  teachers,  from 
eight  A.  M.  until  noon.  About  twenty  at  a  time 
take  part  in  this  practise,  wrestling  with  the  mas- 
ters or  each  other,  so  that  each  man's  turn  in  the 
school  comes  about  once  a  week. 

Fencing  is  also  a  part  of  their  education,  not 
for  practical  use,  but  merely  to  make  them  quick 
and  supple.  They  practise  with  long  bamboo 
swords,  wearing  wadded  hoods  and  gloves. 

There  did  not  seem  to  be  any  exact  skill  about  it, 
the  men  simply  rushing  at  each  other,  striking  and 
slashing,  holding  the  sword  in  both  hands,  the  prin- 
cipal object  seeming  to  be  which  one  could  yell  the 
loudest. 

146 


JAPANESE   FIEEMEN   AND   POLICE 

After  the  regular  modern  ju-jutsu,  two  young 
men  gave  an  exhibition  for  my  edification  of  the  an- 
cient form  of  the  art.  It  was  not  so  easy  nor  so  fin- 
ished as  the  modern  method  and  was  performed 
with  such  ardor  that  arms  and  elbows  were  cut 
rather  badly  on  the  sharp  edges  of  the  mats.  The 
principal  feature  of  their  entertainment  was  the 
fiendish  shouts  with  which  they  began  each  clutch. 
This  was  intended  as  a  means  of  intimidation,  and 
the  custom  still  survives  in  the  modern  method,  to 
the  extent  of  one  short  but  sufficiently  frightful 
scream.  These  sounds,  however,  are  as  nothing 
compared  with  the  unearthly  screeches  of  the  old 
school.  They  are  like  nothing  human;  the  only 
thing  I  can  recollect  that  approached  them  in  fierce- 
ness and  volume  were  the  pleasantries  exchanged 
by  two  mountain-lions  that  I  heard  once  upon  a 
time  in  the  Adirondacks. 

With  all  this  splendid  training  in  quickness, 
adroitness,  and  the  wonderful  muscular  power  it 
develops,  a  criminal  has  no  chance  at  all  with  a 
Japanese  policeman.  One  of  my  party  remarked 
that  he  should  like  to  see  the  Broadway  squad  try 
to  do  the  things  we  were  looking  at.  I  am  very 
much  afraid  a  member  of  that  august  body  would 
be  like  a  man  of  straw  in  the  hands  of  one  of  Ja- 
pan's quick  cat-like  little  policemen. 

Becoming  much  interested  in  the  police  depart- 
ment, I  was  fortunate  in  securing  a  permit  from 
147 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

the  Minister  of  Justice  to  visit  the  Sugamo  prison 
at  Tokyo. 

The  Governor  was  very  gracious,  but  his  lan- 
guages being  restricted  to  Japanese  and  German, 
we  were  at  a  standstill  until  an  interpreter  was 
brought  in. 

I  was  put  through  a  rigid  examination  and  asked 
to  write  down  the  answers  to  all  questions.  My 
name,  nationality,  age,  business,  my  reason  for  vis- 
iting Japan,  and  the  length  of  my  stay,  all  had  to 
be  given.  In  reply  to  the  question,  "What  is  your 
nationality?"  I  wrote, "An  American,  and  glad  of 
it."  This  did  me  a  lot  of  good,  tho  no  one  could 
read  it  but  the  interpreter,  who  smiled  sympa- 
thetically. 

I  wanted  to  tell  him  Nat  Goodwin's  story  about 
the  Irishman's  intelligent  dog;  but  didn't  dare 
just  then:  "That  dog  o'  mine  is  that  intelligent, 
he  understands  every  word  I  say  to  him!  I'm 
studyin'  German  now,  just  to  throw  him  off!" 

There  were  many  features  about  the  prison  that 
to  an  American  were  unusual.  The  corridors  of 
cells  were  arranged  like  the  spokes  of  a  wheel,  one 
warden  sitting  on  a  platform  that  was  the  hub. 
Labor  is  saved  in  this  way,  for  one  man  can  watch 
five  corridors  of  twenty-eight  cells  each,  making  in 
all  140.  There  are  two  of  these  wheels  built  in  the 
inner  court  of  the  prison,  so  that  280  cells  are 
watched  by  two  men,  who  sit  on  revolving  stools, 

148 


JAPANESE   FIREMEN   AND   POLICE 

and  by  turning  can  take  in  at  a  glance  the  five  cor- 
ridors entrusted  to  their  vigilance. 

A  head  warden  sits  between  the  two  wheels  and 
maintains  a  general  supervision,  so  that  practi- 
cally the  entire  number  of  prisoners  are  watched  by 
only  three  men.  There  is  another  enclosure  where 
there  are  cells  for  punishment.  The  most  severe 
form  is  the  dark  cell,  where  prisoners  are  punished 
for  insubordination.  They  can  not  be  confined  in 
this  cell  for  more  than  eleven  days  at  a  time.  The 
cell  for  the  next  less  severe  punishment  has  a  little 
light;  so  in  gradation  there  are  several  cells  for 
varying  degrees  of  punishment. 

The  prisoners  all  work  in  different  shops  at  bas- 
ket-weaving, making  mats,  iron  utensils,  and  all 
sorts  of  things  for  which  there  is  a  ready  market. 
They  work  from  6.30  A.  M.  until  eleven,  when  they 
have  their  midday  meal.  This  is  principally  rice, 
and  quickly  eaten.  Until  twelve  they  rest,  sitting 
comfortably  on  straw  mats. 

Advantage  is  taken  of  this  time  for  one  of  the 
four  resident  chaplains  to  give  the  prisoners  a  talk. 
The  day  I  visited  the  prison  was  at  the  time  of  this 
midday  rest ;  the  men  in  two  large  work-rooms  were 
sitting  quietly,  listening  to  the  chaplain,  a  Bud- 
dhist priest.  Standing  before  a  small  altar  that 
looked  like  a  reading-desk,  he  was  placed  in  a  pas- 
sageway between  the  two  rooms,  thus  enabling  the 
men  in  both  rooms  to  hear  him.  He  was  talking 
149 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

earnestly,  probably  pointing  out  the  error  of  their 
ways,  and  exhorting  them  to  lead  better  lives  in 
the  future. 

At  three-thirty  the  work  of  the  prisoners  was 
finished ;  so  it  may  be  seen  they  lead  a  life  of  com- 
parative ease.  It  struck  me  as  rather  an  induce- 
ment to  crime,  for  they  live  better  than,  and  do 
not  work  nearly  as  hard  as,  the  average  Japanese 
laborer. 

Every  man  is  credited  with  a  certain  amount  of 
wages  for  the  work  he  does,  and  the  money  is  given 
to  him  when  he  is  discharged,  so  he  does  not  leave 
the  prison  penniless. 

Every  method  seemed  most  humane ;  the  prison- 
ers were  treated  with  kindness  in  every  way.  The 
same  consideration  in  regard  to  concealing  their 
identity  is  practised  here  as  in  the  police  stations. 
Outside  of  each  man's  cell  is  a  wooden  sign  with 
his  name,  age,  crime  and  the  length  of  his  sen- 
tence printed  on  it.  But  a  little  extra  tag  comes 
down  and  hides  his  name. 

The  Japanese  being  kind  and  considerate  as  a 
nation,  their  treatment  of  prisoners  is  only  in  ac- 
cordance with  their  natural  inclinations.  They  are 
the  politest  people  on  earth,  and  seem  to  be  sincere 
in  it;  very  careful  about  wounding  any  one's  feel- 
ings, and  adore  children,  who  have  everything  their 
own  way.  These  children  seem  to  be  born  with  the 
grace  of  God  in  their  souls,  for  they  are  always 

150 


JAPANESE   FIREMEN   AND   POLICE 

good,  and  it  never  seems  necessary  to  spank  them. 
The  little  mites  are  cheerful,  smiling  and  happy, 
and  would  be  altogether  lovable  if  they  only  thought 
it  necessary  to  wipe  their  little  noses. 

So  that,  owing  to  this  general  national  trait  of 
kindliness,  the  prisoners  that  I  saw  looked  well  fed 
and  well  taken  care  of,  and  certainly  very  con- 
tented. 

After  my  inspection,  which  I  found  most  inter- 
esting, I  came  away  with  the  idea  that  to  be  sent 
to  prison  in  Japan  was  not  the  worst  thing  by  any 
means  that  could  befall  a  man. 


151 


IX 

FIRST  IMPRESSIONS  OF  CHINA 

Harbor  at  Mouth  of  Yang-tse-Kiang — Ancient  Junk — Fish- 
Net  Begging — The  Bund — Oriental  Paris — Chinese 
Jaunting-Car — Porker  Takes  a  Bide — Recruits  Drill 
with  Sand — Bronze  Statues  are  Sikh  Policemen — Three 
Cities  in  One — American  Consul-General  Goodnow — Mr. 
George  Mooser  and  Beautiful  Wife — "I'm  an  Ameri- 
can, but  I  speak  English" — Same  as  when  Queen  Bess 
Reigned — Ancient  Walled  City — I  am  Seized  by  Hor- 
rible Chinese  Beggar — Make  Way  for  the  Man  with  the 
Burden — Footbinding  Practised  by  all  Classes — Anti- 
Footbinding  Society — Fuchau  Road  and  Sing-Song 
Girls — Tiffin  on  the  "Monadnock" — I  Entertain  the 
Jackies — Street  Pageants — ' '  Pidgin-English. ' ' 

AFTER  an  encounter  with  one  of  those  mon- 
soons that  seem  perpetually  to  lurk  be- 
tween Nagasaki  and  Shanghai,  the  sight  of 
the  outside  harbor,  at  the  mouth  of  the  Yang-tse- 
Kiang,  looked  most  attractive.  In  the  early  morn- 
ing air  everything  stood  out  with  clear  distinctness. 
A  great  German  warship  rode  proudly  at  anchor, 
in  extreme  contrast  to  a  junk  of  ancient  pattern, 
with  stern  reared  high  out  of  the  water,  eyes 
painted  at  the  bow  to  enable  the  boat  to  find  her 
way  in  the  dark,  and  sails  spread  with  ribs  of  bam- 
boo, looking  not  unlike  the  fins  of  some  giant  fish. 

152 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS   OF   CHINA 

Very  soon  tiny  sampans,  propelled  by  a  stern 
oar,  came  crowding  about  the  steamer,  the  women 
and  children  holding  up  to  the  passengers  nets  on 
long  bamboo  poles  and  begging  for  money  to  be 
thrown  into  them.  The  face  of  the  water  was 
dotted  with  craft  of  all  sorts,  principally  the  dis- 
tinctive junk. 

After  an  hour  and  a  quarter  on  a  launch  speed- 
ing up  the  Whang-poo  river,  we  were  landed  at 
the  quay  on  the  Bund.  Here  the  life,  glitter  and 
sparkle  reminded  one  insistently  of  Paris.  Vic- 
torias with  two  Chinamen  on  the  box,  drest  in 
long  coats  of  divers  colors  and  design,  were  pulled 
at  a  headlong  pace  by  sturdy,  tough  little  Chinese 
ponies,  that  ducked  down  their  heads  and  forged 
into  the  crowds  of  'rickshas  in  a  way  to  make  the 
newcomer  hold  his  breath. 

Hundreds  of  these  'rickshas  went  twinkling  by, 
pulled  by  strapping  Chinese  coolies.  Less  in  num- 
ber, but  numerous  for  all  that,  were  the  native  bar- 
rows, with  one  large  wheel,  having  racks  built  over 
it  at  either  side,  and  pushed  by  a  sweating,  toiling 
man,  who  strained  and  tottered  as  he  was  striving 
to  guide  and  balance  the  clumsy  vehicle.  Passen- 
gers or  merchandise  were  carried  on  these,  the  for- 
mer with  their  feet  curled  under  them  on  the  rack, 
or  resting  in  a  loop  of  rope  strung  near  the  ground 
for  the  purpose. 

Great  bales  of  cotton,  towering  into  the  air  for 
153 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

six  or  seven  feet,  were  pushed  along  on  these  crazy 
conveyances,  and  one  day  I  saw  a  big  black  pig 
riding  along,  his  feet  tied,  but  apparently  content. 

Tho  the  'ricksha-men  have  the  easier  time,  the 
barrow-pushers  are  inclined  to  look  down  on  them, 
saying  contemptuously,  "We  push  like  men  while 
you  pull  allee  same  horses. ' ' 

In  drilling  recruits  for  the  Chinese  army,  each 
man  is  required  to  carry  sand  in  his  knapsack. 
For  the  first  day  he  carries  two  ounces;  on  each 
succeeding  day  he  increases  this  amount  by  two 
ounces,  until  at  last  he  is  carrying  sixteen  pounds. 
These  men  can  run  at  a  dog-trot  for  ten  consecutive 
hours  and  arrive  at  the  end  of  that  time  in  a  fit 
condition  for  fighting. 

One  of  the  most  interesting  bits  of  local  color  to 
be  seen  are  the  splendid  Sikh  policemen,  standing 
like  magnificent  bronze  statues  at  every  corner, 
their  huge  turbans  of  red,  yellow,  or  pink  making 
a  bright  splash  of  color  against  the  moving  back- 
ground. 

Shanghai  is  one  of  the  most  cosmopolitan  cities 
in  the  world,  and  in  point  of  actual  diversity  of 
nationality,  language,  and  government  is  absolutely 
unique.  When  it  was  made  a  treaty  port,  conces- 
sions were  granted  to  England,  France,  and  Amer- 
ica, and  the  districts  involved,  altho  component 
parts  of  the  city,  are  as  distinct  as  if  separated  by 
miles  of  territory.  Each  has  its  own  municipal 
154 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS    OF    CHINA 

government,  its  own  post-office,  and  is  under  the 
jurisdiction  of  its  own  mother  country. 

The  American  post-office  here  is  the  only  one  in 
existence  outside  of  the  United  States  and  her  ter- 
ritories; a  letter  from  here  to  the  United  States 
goes  for  two  cents,  the  same  as  one  from  New  York 
to  Boston.  The  Consul-General  is  also  the  post- 
master, tho  he  receives  no  extra  salary  for  this 
added  responsibility. 

At  the  time  of  our  visit  we  were  indebted  to  Mr. 
John  Goodnow,  the  American  Consul-General,  and 
his  charming  wife  for  much  kind  attention.  Mr. 
Goodnow 's  automobile,  with  the  novel  accompani- 
ment of  a  Chinese  chauffeur,  was  at  our  service  for 
many  delightful  tours  of  sightseeing.  Both  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Goodnow 's  profound  knowledge  of  the 
country  and  sympathetic  understanding  of  its  peo- 
ple were  a  help  and  an  illumination  on  these  occa- 
sions. They  are  both  lovers  of  Chinese  art,  and 
collectors  in  a  way.  Mrs.  Goodnow 's  collection  of 
ancient  embroideries  is  one  to  induce  breaking  the 
tenth  commandment.  Mr.  Goodnow  devotes  his 
time  to  antique  brasses.  They  told  us  of  a  remark 
made  by  a  Chinaman  on  an  occasion  when  Mr. 
Goodnow  was  entertaining  a  number  of  high  Chi- 
nese officials.  As  a  means  of  entertainment  he  was 
showing  them  his  collection,  the  pride  of  which  was 
a  small  brass  Buddha  studded  with  uncut  turquoises 
and  garnets.  As  they  were  leaving,  one  of  the  party 
155 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

was  overheard  by  Dr.  Barchet,  the  official  inter- 
preter of  the  Consulate,  to  say  in  Chinese : 

"I  heard  this  man  Goodnow  had  some  pretty 
good  brasses — why,  he  hasn't  got  a  piece  that's 
more  than  a  thousand  years  old ! '  * 

In  such  a  venerable  country  as  China  real  antiq- 
uity doesn't  begin  to  be  acknowledged  under  about 
four  thousand  years. 

At  the  moment  of  landing  I  found  an  old  friend 
in  the  person  of  Mr.  George  Mooser,  formerly  a 
newspaper  man  in  New  York,  who  met  me  on  the 
Bund.  He  is  now  a  prominent  insurance  man  in 
Shanghai,  very  popular  with  the  Chinese  wealthy 
class.  He  and  his  lovely  wife  entertained  us  de- 
lightfully in  their  magnificent  home  on  the  Bub- 
bling Well  Road.  Mr.  Mooser  was  instrumental  in 
securing  opportunities  for  me  to  give  three  suc- 
cessful entertainments  while  in  Shanghai,  and  in 
other  ways,  besides  his  delightful  hospitality  and 
devotion  to  my  interests,  I  am  eternally  his  debtor. 

With  all  the  distinct  lines  of  separation,  and  the 
innumerable  nationalities  found  in  the  several  cit- 
ies, it  is  not  surprising  that  a  young  gentleman  of 
three,  when  asked  what  his  nationality  was,  an- 
swered, "I'm  an  American,  but  I  speak  English." 
The  several  separate,  but  united,  cities  cluster 
around  the  walls  of  the  ancient  native  city,  whose 
gates  are  shut  at  sundown,  and  where  customs  pre- 
vail and  life  is  carried  on  to-day  just  as  it  was  in 
156 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS    OF   CHINA 

this  same  little  walled  city  when  good  Queen  Bess 
reigned  in  England. 

In  the  walled  city — a  place  where  no  foreigner 
ought  to  go,  only  you  can't  help  it,  for  it  is  one  of 
the  most  marvelously  interesting  places  you  can 
ever  get  into — I  was  walking  with  a  guide,  when 
a  horrible  old  beggar — a  filthy,  rheumy,  palsied, 
leprous  old  beggar,  who  was  lying  flat  in  the  nar- 
row street — caught  me  by  the  ankle  and  hung  on 
with  the  evident  determination  to  hold  fast  until 
he  got  some  money.  My  sensations  I  will  not  at- 
tempt to  describe,  but  I  remember  the  shivers  of 
disgust  that  shook  me  while  I  gasped  to  the  guide 
to  give  him  some  money.  He  said  no;  because  if 
you  gave  him  so  much  as  a  copper,  an  army  of 
mendicants,  equally  loathsome,  would  surround  us, 
and  we  would  be  mobbed.  And  he  calmly  kicked 
the  beggar,  not  gently,  but  most  thoroughly,  until 
he  let  go  his  hold. 

If  you  have  never  seen  a  Chinese  beggar,  then 
you  can  have  no  idea  of  the  depth  and  breadth  and 
height  and  thoroughness  of  his  condition  of  filth, 
and  his  general  loathsomeness. 

The  narrow  streets,  paved  with  stones  that  are 
slippery  and  slimy  with  filth,  become  dim  because 
of  the  forest  of  swaying  signs  suspended  overhead. 
These  streets  meander  in  and  out,  around  abrupt 
corners,  up  and  down  steps,  and  through  courts,  in 
an  utterly  bewildering  manner.  There  are  no  side- 
157 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE    WORLD 

walks,  the  streets  running  from  one  open  shop- 
front  to  the  opposite  one  and  are  choked  and 
crowded  with  a  jostling,  pushing  mass  of  humanity. 

Sedan-chairs,  carried  on  the  shoulders  of  coolies, 
are  frequently  seen,  and  when  two  meet  in  the  nar- 
row way  much  screaming,  shouting  and  profanity 
in  the  vernacular  are  necessary  before  they  manage 
to  squeeze  past  each  other. 

Where  the  people,  who  the  moment  before  filled 
the  street,  succeed  in  bestowing  themselves  is  a 
mystery,  but  they  seem  to  be  able  to  scurry  into 
the  shops,  flatten  themselves  against  the  walls  and 
in  a  dozen  different  ways  efface  themselves,  never 
resenting  anything,  but  always  smiling,  cheerful 
and  good-natured. 

A  man  with  two  great  bundles  of  straw  or  bas- 
kets, boxes,  or  pails  slung  from  a  bamboo  pole  laid 
across  his  shoulders,  comes  swaying  along,  calling 
out  for  the  people  to  make  way  for  him,  which  is 
cheerfully  done — for  it  is  the  unwritten  law  of  the 
Chinese  thoroughfare  that  every  one,  even  if  it  be 
the  viceroy,  must  give  way  to  the  man  with  the 
burden. 

The  curio-shops,  clothing-shops  and  shops  of 
every  description  are  alive  with  color.  The  silk 
shops  are  interesting,  for  here  they  sell  silk  by 
weight.  Natives  buy  it  this  way,  and  probably  get 
it  at  reasonable  prices,  for  it  is  the  universal  wear. 
A  foreigner  could  not  get  it  in  any  way  but  by 
158 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS   OF   CHINA 

the  yard,  and  at  a  price  no  cheaper  than  in  Amer- 
ica or  England.  In  America  more  beautiful  silks 
of  handsomer  patterns  and  better  dye  may  be 
bought  cheaper  than  in  this,  the  land  of  silk. 

Dealers  in  jade  ornaments,  that  stone  which  is 
prized  next  to  the  pearl,  are  always  doing  a  lively 
trade.  Women,  drest  in  their  national  costume 
of  long  jackets  and  wide  trousers,  their  hair  beau- 
tifully coiled  and  perfumed  and  stuck  full  of  fancy 
pins,  crowd  about  the  fronts  of  these  shops,  ad- 
miring, chaffering  and  occasionally  purchasing. 
In  many  cases  these  women  go  swaying  along  on 
the  absurdly  deformed  little  lumps  of  feet  con- 
sidered so  beautiful  by  the  Chinese. 

Tho  knowing  that  the  custom  of  footbinding 
prevailed  in  China,  I  am  willing  to  confess  that  I 
had  thought  it  confined  to  the  higher  classes,  and 
not  by  any  means  to  be  seen  frequently  on  the 
streets.  But  people  of  every  class  seem  to  practise 
it.  It  is  a  not  uncommon  sight  to  see  a  beggar 
woman  in  fluttering  rags  tottering  along  on  feet 
no  larger  than  my  two  middle  fingers,  and  I  have 
seen  women  on  the  tow-path,  laboring  with  men  to 
pull  the  river  boats,  whose  feet  were  of  the  proper 
size  to  be  admired  by  Chinamen. 

The  coolie  class  practise  this  barbarous  custom 
quite  as  much  as  others,  at  least  one  girl  child  in 
every  family  having  her  feet  bound  so  that  she  may 
have  the  requisite  attraction  for  making  a  good 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

marriage  and  becoming  a  lady.  Consequently 
women  with  little  feet  like  those  of  goats  are  seen 
more  frequently  than  women  with  pedal  extremi- 
ties of  the  normal  size. 

These  women  have  suffered  agonies  of  torture 
since  their  fourth  or  fifth  year,  when  their  poor 
little  feet  were  ruthlessly  deformed,  the  toes  turned 
under,  and  the  instep  so  broken  and  forced  up- 
ward that  the  ball  of  the  foot  and  the  heel  were 
brought  together  and  bound  in  this  position 
through  years  of  awful  pain. 

Tho  the  process  is  nominally  completed  by  the 
time  they  are  sixteen  or  seventeen,  they  are  obliged 
to  wear  the  bandages  all  their  lives,  and  are  almost 
always  suffering,  for  Nature  is  perpetually  striving 
to  free  herself  from  the  bandage. 

Women  with  feet  so  beautifully  little  that  they 
can  not  walk  unassisted  may  be  seen  supported  on 
either  side  by  a  servant,  hobbling  painfully  along, 
and  I  was  told  upon  good  authority  that  there  are 
women  who  are  always  carried  in  the  streets,  be- 
cause they  can  not  walk  at  all,  and  in  their  own 
homes  are  obliged  to  crawl  about  on  their  knees. 

A  society  of  opposition  to  this  custom  has  been 
formed  by  Europeans  and  Americans,  with  branches 
in  various  parts  of  the  Flowery  Kingdom.  It  is 
known  as  the  Anti-footbinding  Society,  and  is, 
they  claim,  doing  much  good  in  winning  the  people 
from  this  ancient  and  barbarous  custom.  Many 

160 


Asleep  in  His  Cab 
River  Life  Prisoners  Wearing  the  Cangue 

The  Willow  Pattern  Tea- House 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS   OF   CHINA 

enlightened  Chinese  are  members  of  it,  and  in  many 
cases  the  viceroys  of  provinces  have  issued  procla- 
mations that,  while  they  do  not  forbid  the  practise, 
beg  the  people  in  the  name  of  enlightenment 
to  discontinue  it. 

Court  circles  establish  an  excellent  precedent, 
for  the  Empress  has  natural  feet,  and  being  a 
Manchu  does  not  tolerate  footbinding.  It  is  a 
purely  Chinese  custom  which,  let  us  hope,  with  the 
excellent  example  in  this  one  instance  at  least  of 
the  Empress,  and  the  Court,  will  in  time  be  abol- 
ished. Through  a  ludicrous  freak  of  fate,  the  hon- 
orable president  and  treasurer  of  the  very  estima- 
ble Anti-footbinding  Society  are  named  respect- 
ively Mrs.  Little  and  Mrs.  Cornfoot. 

At  the  Margaret  Williamson  Hospital  in  Shang- 
hai amputations  of  children's  feet  are  not  uncom- 
mon— made  necessary  on  account  of  gangrene  as 
a  result  of  footbinding. 

At  this  hospital  two  American  women  doctors  are 
employed,  at  a  salary  of  $600  a  year,  and  during 
the  year  forty  thousand  Chinese  women  and  chil- 
dren were  treated.  This  is  one  of  the  greatest  and 
most  worthy  charities  in  the  East,  for  a  Chinese 
woman  would  die  before  she  would  allow  a  male 
physician  to  attend  her.  The  Chinese  doctors  are 
not  of  much  use  anyway,  with  their  prescriptions 
composed  of  the  bodies  of  dried  beetles,  flies,  and 
lizards,  the  blood  and  teeth  of  tigers,  the  bodies  of 
161 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

snakes,  and  sundry  other  niceties  known  only  to  the 
Chinese  chemist. 

The  streets  in  the  Chinese  city  outside  the  walls 
are  quite  as  crowded  as  those  in  the  native  city, 
tho  wider.  Here,  especially  in  the  Puchau  Road 
between  the  hours  of  five  and  eight  P.  M.,  crowds 
of  sing-song  girls  may  be  seen,  being  carried  from 
one  tea-house  or  restaurant  to  the  other,  where  they 
have  engagements  to  sing. 

They  are  sometimes  seen  in  carriages  or  sedan- 
chairs,  occasionally  in  'rickshas,  but  generally  sit- 
ting on  the  shoulder  of  a  stalwart  Chinaman,  a 
towel  flung  over  his  head  to  protect  the  lady's 
gaudy  satin  coat  from  contact  with  his  hair. 

These  girls,  in  order  that  they  should  be  attrac- 
tive, must  have  little  feet,  the  tinier  the  better,  so 
that  it  is  next  to  impossible  for  most  of  them  to 
walk  at  all.  An  amah,  or  maid,  runs  after  each 
one,  to  arrange  anything  that  may  have  become 
disordered  in  the  journey,  to  see  that  their  pearl 
head-dress  is  straight,  or  to  add  a  little  more  rouge 
or  powder  to  their  already  thickly  painted  faces, 
but  principally  to  watch  how  much  money  the  girls 
receive  as  presents  from  the  rich  Chinamen,  who 
give  them  extravagant  sums  if  they  are  pleased 
with  their  fair  entertainers. 

These  girls  are  under  the  control  of  a  woman  who 
gets  them  in  various  ways,  by  purchase  from  par- 
ents, or  not  infrequently  by  kidnaping.  She  has 

162 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS   OF    CHINA 

them  taught  the  accomplishments  of  singing  or 
playing  on  some  musical  instrument,  dresses  them 
in  the  most  beautiful  silks  and  satins,  and  head- 
dresses of  pearls,  and  then  rents  out  their  services 
for  entertainments. 

The  girls  get  a  certain  fixt  sum,  all  the  pres- 
ents they  receive  going  to  their  employer.  The 
amah  keeps  watch  in  the  interest  of  this  woman 
to  see  that  the  girls  faithfully  turn  in  all  that  they 
receive.  I  am  told  that  some  specially  popular  girls 
receive  as  high  as  a  thousand  dollars  a  month  in 
presents. 

It  must  be  understood  that  these  girls  are  in  no 
way  demi-mondaines.  On  the  contrary,  they  are 
modest  and  well  bred,  and  must  be  treated  with  re- 
spect at  all  times  by  the  men  they  entertain.  Nat- 
urally, they  are  a  class  by  themselves  and  looked 
down  upon  by  Chinese  ladies,  merely  on  account 
of  their  occupation  and  their  association  with  men, 
tho  never  on  account  of  their  morals. 

While  in  Shanghai  we  were  invited  to  tiffin — 
this  meal  is  not  the  hasty  "pick-up"  luncheon  of 
the  West,  but  a  substantial  repast,  formally  and 
handsomely  set  forth;  in  fact,  when  they  desire  to 
do  honor  to  a  friend  in  the  Far  East,  they  invite 
him  to  tiffin — we  were  invited  to  tiffin  on  the  ' '  Mon- 
adnock"  (over  which  our  country's  flag  was  fly- 
ing) at  the  invitation  of  Commander  Baker.  We 
went  out  in  a  launch  to  the  harbor,  which  is  the 
163 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

mouth  of  the  Yang-tse-Kiang.  Besides  a  lot  of 
other  notables,  there  were  the  American  Consul- 
General  and  his  wife,  and  the  Italian  commander 
of  a  war-ship  in  the  harbor  who  was  a  prince  and 
cousin  of  the  King  of  Italy. 

After  tiffin  the  jackies  were  called  up;  they 
formed  on  the  deck  and  I  gave  them  a  little  enter- 
tainment. I  can  truly  say  that  I  have  seldom  faced 
a  brighter  or  more  appreciative  audience.  They 
never  missed  a  point;  and  the  grins  that  chased 
each  other  over  their  tanned  and  good-natured 
faces  were  only  equaled  by  their  hearty  laughs  that 
were  sandwiched  in  between.  Afterward  they 
manned  the  yards,  and  gave  me  the  Admiral's  sa- 
lute— thirteen  guns. 

The  sights  about  Shanghai  are  of  kaleidoscopic 
interest.  In  the  Soo-chow  Creek  and  the  various 
canals  boats  crowd  and  shoulder  one  another  like 
swarms  of  water-bugs. 

In  these  tiny  hulls,  covered  merely  with  a  tent 
of  mats,  whole  families  are  born,  live  and  die,  with 
no  other  habitation  or  environment,  and  apparently 
seem  to  thrive.  The  green  scummy  water  looks  un- 
healthful  enough  to  kill  them  all,  but  as  they  drink 
only  tea,  for  which  the  water  is  always  boiled,  there 
isn't  as  much  harm  done  as  one  might  suppose. 
Smallpox  plagues  and  scarlet  fever  are  generally 
rife,  but  no  one  seems  to  worry  much  about  them. 
Lean,  wolfish  dogs  are  in  every  street;  and  chick- 

164 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS    OF    CHINA 

ens  seem  to  be  a  part  of  every  household,  living  on 
terms  of  equality  with  the  family. 

The  country  around  Shanghai  is  flat,  but  so  fer- 
tile that  it  is  a  joy  to  drive  through  it.  The  farms 
are  marvels  of  orderly  cultivation,  and  remind  us 
forcibly  of  Long  Island  truck-farms. 

Great,  smooth-skinned  buffaloes  with  huge  curv- 
ing horns  lumber  up  and  down  the  fields,  hitched 
to  rude  plows  or,  when  off  duty,  wallow  luxuri- 
ously in  the  little  streams. 

The  fields,  even  the  cultivated  ones,  are  dotted 
thickly  with  little  mounds,  or  small  tombs,  marking 
the  graves  of  the  dead,  and  along  every  road  are 
stone  arches  erected  to  some  charitable  man  or  vir- 
tuous and  benevolent  woman. 

"We  saw  a  funeral  one  day  while  waiting  for  a 
boat.  Men  and  women  were  drest  in  white  with 
a  white  cloth  binding  their  foreheads,  while  the 
coffin  was  carried  slung  by  ropes  from  a  bamboo 
pole  across  the  shoulders  of  two  stout  coolies. 

The  servants  we  came  in  contact  with  in  China 
were  marvels  of  ability  and  trustworthiness.  One 
lady  who  had  lived  in  China  several  years  lamented 
that  she  shouldn't  know  what  to  do  when  she  went 
home  to  America  to  live ;  here  she  had  ten  perfectly 
trained  servants  for  the  price  she  would  have  to 
pay  for  two  incompetent  ones  at  home. 

Pidgin-English  is  universal  and  to  the  new- 
comer it  sounds  absurd  beyond  measure  to  hear 
165 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

dignified  English  and  Americans  seriously  talking 
the  babyish  lingo.  When  I  first  arrived  it  was 
something  of  a  shock  to  hear  our  honorable  Consul- 
General  say  to  the  boy  when  sending  up-stairs  for 
a  friend  to  come  down  to  my  room :  ' '  Boy,  go  top- 
side, look-see  can  ketchee  Mr.  M.  Sposie  have  got, 
tellee  come  downside."  To  which  the  boy  an- 
swered as  seriously  "Can  do,"  and  disappeared. 

A  story  is  told  here  in  Shanghai  of  a  Russian 
diplomat  who  fell  in  love  with  a  charming  German 
lady.  Unfortunately  neither  could  speak  the  other's 
language  and  were  at  a  standstill  as  to  how  they 
were  going  to  conduct  the  love-making.  They 
could  both  talk  pidgin-English,  however,  and  fell 
back  on  that.  When  any  one  in  China  makes  a 
contract  they  say,  "Can  putee  in  book,"  so  the  Rus- 
sian, looking  unutterable  love  at  his  fair  lady,  cooed 
softly:  "My  likee  you — sposee  you  likee  my,  can 
putee  in  book?"  To  which  she  shyly  answered: 
"Can  do,"  and  they  were  married. 

Chen  Dong,  who  was  head  boy  in  the  dining- 
room  of  the  Astor  House,  and  who  is  quite  a  famous 
character  in  the  East,  known  to  every  one,  still  talks 
the  ridiculous  pidgin-dialect,  tho  he  can  speak 
very  good  English.  By  his  ingratiating  and  smi- 
ling civilities  he  accumulated  a  fortune  of  fifteen 
thousand  dollars,  a  princely  sum  for  one  of  his 
class,  and  tho  he  denied  it  roundly,  was  said  to 
possess  eight  wives. 

166 


FIRST   IMPRESSIONS   OP   CHINA 

One  thing  surprised  me  very  much,  and  that  was 
the  sharp  line  drawn  between  natives  and  white 
people.  No  matter  how  high  a  Chinaman's  rank, 
there  are  certain  clubs  and  hotels  where  he  would 
not  be  admitted,  and  I  was  astonished  and  hurt  to 
find  that  I  would  not  be  allowed  to  entertain  at 
tiffin  in  my  hotel  a  Chinese  friend  of  mine  who  was 
of  high  official  standing,  a  graduate  of  Yale  and 
a  charming  gentleman.  It  seemed  an  unfair  regu- 
lation when  at  the  next  table  to  mine  was  a  party 
of  ill-bred  Japanese,  who  gurgled  their  soup  and 
made  other  unpleasant  noises  not  usually  asso- 
ciated with  polite  table  manners. 

Tho  they  may  not  be  so  universally  courteous,  I 
prefer  the  Chinese  in  some  ways  to  the  Japs,  for 
I  think  them  more  sincere.  At  any  rate,  they  are 
a  cheerful,  happy,  childlike  lot  of  people  that  it  is 
a  pleasure  to  be  among. 


167 


A  VISIT  TO  A  CHINESE  THEATER 

I  Compare  the  Art  of  Two  Countries — The  Chinese  Suffer 
Greatly — Stage  Merely  Raised  Platform — Nerve-racking 
Orchestra — Refreshments  All  Bound — Everybody  Drinks 
Tea — Chinese  Wife  Smokes  a  Valuable  Pipe — The  Demi- 
Monde  Get  Green  Cups — Actors  Shriek  with  Falsetto 
Voices— Tell  What  They  Are  Going  to  Do  Beforehand- 
No  Scenery  and  Few  Properties — Prances  like  Horse — 
Wear  Painted  Masks — There  Are  No  Actresses — Attempt 
at  Vaudeville — She  Entertained  the  Bores — Preposterous 
Heroes  and  Characters — Nothing  Funnier  than  Chinese 
Theater  Except  Practise- Drill  of  Chinese  Soldiers. 

MY  interest  being  aroused  by  the  very  ex- 
cellent acting  and  staging  I  had  seen  in 
Japanese  theaters,  I  was  anxious  to  com- 
pare with  them  a  Chinese  playhouse. 

In  Shanghai  I  found  my  opportunity  and  visited 
the  best  one  there  in  that  gay  and  festive  thor- 
oughfare Fuchau  Road. 

The  tea-houses  are  frequent  along  this  street. 
The  shrill  nasal  singing  of  the  girls  and  metallic 
twanging  of  stringed  instruments  may  be  heard 
coming  from  the  upper  rooms  at  all  times  and  sea- 
sons. 

168 


A   VISIT    TO   A   CHINESE    THEATER 

I  found  that  in  point  of  advancement  in  the 
drama  the  Chinese  could  not  be  compared  for  a 
moment  with  the  Japanese.  In  fact,  there  is  no 
staging  or  acting  at  all,  in  the  sense  that  we  under- 
stand it. 

The  stage  is  merely  a  raised  platform  with  a  row 
of  gaslights  across  the  front,  each  little  jet  blinking 
forlornly  at  the  top  of  a  piece  of  pipe  that  sticks 
bravely  up  for  four  or  five  inches.  Another  row 
of  lights  extends  over  the  stage  and  at  the  back 
two  curtained  doorways  complete  the  entire  stage 
arrangements. 

At  the  back  of  the  stage  between  the  doorways  sits 
the  orchestra,  a  collection  of  nerve-racking  instru- 
ments that  shriek  and  wheeze  and  bang,  especially 
upon  the  entrance  of  prominent  actors. 

The  play  begins  at  seven  P.  M.,  and  shortly  after 
that  time  the  tables  on  the  ground  floor  are  fully 
occupied  by  Chinese  sipping  the  tea  that  is  an  inev- 
itable part  of  every  entertainment,  social  call,  or 
business  meeting. 

One  Mexican  dollar  pays  the  entrance  fee,  en- 
titles one  to  a  place  at  one  of  the  tables,  a  program, 
and  tea  all  the  evening.  Extra  refreshments,  such 
as  fruit,  nuts,  sweets,  and  the  ubiquitous  melon- 
seed,  are  charged  at  the  rate  of  twenty  cents  a  bowl. 

The  attendants  who  keep  renewing  the  teacups 
do  so  by  adding  hot  water,  never  more  tea,  but  the 
cup  seems  miraculous,  like  the  widow's  cruse  of 
169 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

oil,  for  no  matter  how  many  times  hot  water  is 
added,  the  tea  is  always  delicious  and  of  the  same 
strength.  The  pinch  of  tea-leaves  in  the  bottom 
of  each  cup  seems  to  possess  wonderful  powers  of 
endurance. 

In  the  balcony  that  contains  the  best  seats,  for 
which  extra  charge  is  made,  people  sit  by  the  rail- 
ing which  is  broadened  out  into  a  sort  of  table. 
On  this  they  lean  and  place  their  tea  and  other  re- 
freshments. 

The  waiters  walk  about  on  a  narrow  platform 
outside  of  the  balcony  rail,  dispensing  hot  water 
and  eatables,  occasionally  passing  around  napkins 
scalding  hot  with  steam,  that  are  considered  very 
refreshing  for  wiping  the  hands  and  face. 

Chinamen  and  their  wives  attend  the  theater 
together,  the  only  public  place  where  a  man  is  seen 
with  his  wife.  She  is  always  spoken  of  by  him  as 
"my  little  stay-at-home"  when  he  doesn't  politely 
refer  to  her  as  "my  dull  thorn"  or  "my  stupid 
one." 

I  saw  one  Chinese  lady,  richly  drest  and  thickly 
painted,  sitting  demurely  beside  her  imposing-look- 
ing husband.  She  was  smoking  a  beautiful  gold 
water-pipe,  that  my  Chinese  friend  assured  me  cost 
no  less  than  three  hundred  dollars  in  gold,  or  nearly 
six  hundred  Mexican  dollars. 

A  strange  distinction  is  made  by  serving  with 
special  cups  women  who  are  notorious.  The  at- 

170 


A   VISIT   TO   A   CHINESE    THEATER 

tendants  are  supposed  to  know  them  all  and  when 
they  come  in  attended  by  their  Chinese  gallants, 
instead  of  receiving  their  tea  in  the  flowered  cups 
that  every  one  else  has,  they  are  served  in  cups  of 
plain  green  china. 

The  play  is  well  under  way  when  we  enter,  and 
painted  and  gorgeously  robed  actors  are  shrieking 
(apparently  out  of  the  top  of  their  heads)  in 
falsetto  voices.  The  progress  of  the  play  is  highly 
amusing  to  a  foreigner,  for  there  being  no  curtain, 
the  action  is  never  interrupted  even  tho  the  stage- 
hands are  on  the  stage  quite  as  much  as  the  actors. 

Each  actor,  before  he  assumes  his  actual  part, 
makes  a  sort  of  prolog  appearance  and  tells  just 
what  he  is  going  to  do  and  just  why  he  does  it. 

This  seems  at  first  rather  a  useless  performance, 
but  after  a  while  one  realizes  that  if  an  actor  didn't 
give  some  idea  of  who  he  was  and  what  he  intended 
to  do,  it  would  be  difficult  to  pick  him  out  and  fol- 
low his  performance  amid  the  confusion  and  bustle 
of  stage-hands  arranging  or  removing  properties 
and  make-believe  scenic  effects. 

Tho  there  is  no  scenery  there  are  crude  attempts 
at  properties,  for  instance,  a  piece  of  muslin  laid 
down  to  represent  a  river,  a  curtain  hung  from 
two  bamboo  poles  held  by  coolies  is  a  temple  gate, 
draped  chairs  and  tables  are  rocks  and  mountains, 
and  a  boat  is  made  of  two  chairs  with  a  bit  of  cloth 
stretched  between. 

171 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

When  an  actor  is  supposed  to  enter  on  horseback 
he  prances  in  curveting  handsomely.  The  whole 
performance  is  singularly  reminiscent  of  childish 
days  when  "let's  pretend"  turned  everything  to 
exciting  realities. 

When  the  actor  has  informed  the  audience  what 
he  is  going  to  do,  he  retires,  and  then  makes  his 
proper  entrance,  going  through  all  the  details  as 
he  has  promised  them.  As  he  climbs  over  the  moun- 
tains or  gets  out  of  his  boat,  the  stage-hands  quickly 
remove  them,  or  should  he  enter  the  temple  gate,  it 
immediately  walks  off,  for  its  usefulness  is  over 
and  it  must  give  way  to  the  next  scenic  represen- 
tation, which  will  be  arranged  as  the  need  for  it 
arises. 

When  an  actor  dies  or  is  slain  in  combat,  he  has  a 
most  impressive  death-scene,  wriggling  all  over  the 
stage  to  the  great  delight  of  the  audience,  who  do 
not  seem  to  perceive  any  incongruity  when  he  gets 
up,  after  he  is  thoroughly  dead,  even  to  the  last 
little  shiver,  and  calmly  walks  off. 

The  actors  wear  masks  of  painted  silk  or 
gauze,  or  else  paint  their  own  faces  with  water- 
colors  and  a  brush,  until  all  semblance  of  a  human 
face  is  obliterated. 

There  are  no  actresses,  men  assuming  every  part. 

When  they  make  up  for  women  they  wear  wigs  and 

put  blocks  of  wood  under  their  feet  to  counterfeit 

the  proper  walk  of  ladies  swaying  along  on  their 

172 


A   VISIT   TO   A   CHINESE    THEATER 

"Golden  Lilies,"  as  the  Chinese  admiringly  style 
the  dreadful  little  hoof-like  feet  a  Chinese  woman 
spends  years  of  torture  in  obtaining.  Vaudeville, 
composed  of  acrobats,  magicians  and  imitators, 
sometimes  varies  the  performance.  Approval  is  not 
shown  by  clapping  the  hands,  but  by  grunts  of  dif- 
ferent modulation. 

There  are  numerous  traveling  theatrical  com- 
panies in  China,  and  these  generally  pitch  their 
tents  in  the  temple  courts,  thus  affording  the  peo- 
ple opportunity  to  kill  two  birds  with  one  stone 
by  combining  amusement  with  religion. 

If  one  can  endure  in  a  Chinese  theater  until  the 
end  of  the  performance  the  deafening  orchestra 
and  the  falsetto  voices,  he  will  find  that  two  ushers 
come  to  the  front  of  the  stage  and  announce  that 
the  play  is  finished.  Chinese  plays  never  end  in 
any  culminating  climax,  indicating  to  the  people 
that  all  is  ended;  so  this  announcement  is  really 
necessary. 

The  plays  generally  abound  in  preposterous  he- 
roes and  characters,  tho  occasionally  a  scene  of 
home-life'  is  represented  that  gives  a  foreigner  an 
insight  into  customs,  absolutely  unattainable  in  any 
other  way. 

But  with  their  faces  painted  out  of  all  human 

semblance,  their  exaggerated  and  unnatural  voices, 

walk  and  manner,  together  with  a  constant  jumble 

of   properties   and  stage-hands,   and   their   feeble 

173 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

make-believes,  we  have  a  combination  that  produces 
a  most  amusing  and  absurd  ensemble. 

We  were  not  altogether  sorry  that  we  had  en- 
dured unto  the  end,  tho  the  boredom  was  beyond 
anything  I  can  remember.  We  kept  our  seats,  men- 
tally classing  ourselves  with -the  caller  who,  with 
a  winning  smile,  said  to  the  little  girl  who  occupied 
the  study  while  her  father,  an  eminent  literary  man, 
was  at  dinner: 

"I  suppose,  my  dear,  that  you  assist  your  papa 
by  entertaining  the  bores?" 

"Yes,  sir,"  replied  the  little  girl  gravely;  "please 
be  seated." 

I  know  of  only  one  thing  in  China  that  is  funnier, 
and  that  is  a  practise-drill  of  soldiers,  which  may 
actually  be  seen  within  two  hundred  miles  of 
Shanghai.  Here  they  use  weapons  of  a  pattern  as 
ancient  as  the  first  crusaders,  spears  with  triple 
points,  and  battle-axes  on  long  poles.  A  row  of 
soldiers  armed  with  these  antique  curios  stand  be- 
hind a  row  squatting  on  their  heels,  and  armed 
with  rifles  of  the  vintage  of  the  American  Civil 
war.  In  front  of  these  a  third  row  of"  men  lie 
flat  like  sharpshooters,  and  are  also  armed  with  the 
same  venerable  firearms. 

When  the  word  of  command  is  given  they  "make 
ready"  and  "take  aim,"  but  at  the  word  "fire!" 
not  a  trigger  is  pulled;  each  man  says  "boom!" 
with  that  sublime  indifference  to  the  ridiculous  and 

174 


A  VISIT   TO  A   CHINESE   THEATER 

childlike  faith  in  make-believe  that  distinguish  the 
theaters. 

When  an  officer  was  asked  why  such  a  perform- 
ance was  allowed,  he  said  it  kept  the  men  busy 
and  under  discipline,  and  didn't  waste  powder. 

To  see  a  whole  company  of  men  go  through  this 
absurd  performance  again  and  again  as  soberly  and 
conscientiously  as  if  they  were  really  shooting  is 
the  most  excruciatingly  funny  thing  to  be  seen  in 
China ;  compared  to  it  the  theater  is  a  poor  second. 


175 


XI 

THE  MAJESTY  OF  THE  LAW  IN  CHINA 

Police  Department  Very  Cosmopolitan — Mixed  Court — 'Rick- 
sha Inspection — I  Visit  the  Court  and  am  Introduced  to 
the  Mandarin  Magistrate — He  Wears  the  Little  Bound 
Button — Police  Bun  in  Prisoners  by  the  Cue — Sen- 
tenced to  Certain  Number  of  Strokes  with  the  Bamboo 
— Wearing  the  Cangue — Attendants  Sit  on  the  Pris- 
oner While  He  Gets  One  Hundred  on  His  Bare  Legs — 
In  the  Ancient  Walled  City  Terrible  Cruelties  are  Prac- 
tised— The  Ling  Chee,  or  Hundred  Cuts — Signs  His  Own 
Death-Warrant — Wholesale  Bribery — Execution  of  Pi- 
rates— ' '  My  Just  Make  Little  Squeeze ! ' ' — Not  Even 
Above  Blackmail. 

THE  police  department  of  Shanghai  is  a  cos- 
mopolitan body,  tho  the  organization  and 
general  supervision  are  principally  English. 
The  department  is  made  up  of  several  different 
nationalities  drawn  from  the  different  concessions. 
In  a  drive  through  the  city  one  can  see  English 
bobbies,  French  gendarmes,  Chinese  in  blue  uni- 
forms, high  boots,  long  cues,  and  round  turned-up 
hats ;  but  the  most  frequent  are  the  imported  Sikhs, 
splendid  bronze  giants  from  northern  India,  who 
wear  huge  red-striped  turbans  wound  in  intricate 
and  towering  folds  above  their  keen  faces,  and  pe- 

176 


MAJESTY   OF    THE   LAW   IN   CHINA 

culiar  rolled-under  beards.  Some  of  these  Sikhs 
are  mounted,  and  with  their  swords,  leggings  and 
gorgeous  turbans  make  an  imposing  sight.  They 
are  the  special  dread  of  the  Chinese  malefactors, 
among  whom  they  are  known  as  "the  red  tops." 

Shanghai  has  twelve  precinct  police  stations,  and 
one  court,  known  as  the  "Mixed  Court,"  because 
some  representative  of  the  several  consulates  sits 
each  day  with  the  Chinese  magistrate.  Visitors 
are  welcome  at  this  court,  as  they  are  at  the  police 
stations.  When  I  visited  one  of  these  latter,  a  curi- 
ous ceremony  was  taking  place.  The  courtyard 
was  filled  with  'rickshas — there  looked  to  be  hun- 
dreds of  them,  all  clean  and  shining.  This  cere- 
mony was  the  monthly  inspection  required  by  the 
police,  and  the  'rickshas  were  being  tested  by 
pretty  rough  usage  from  a  hammer  and  the  well- 
developed  muscles  of  a  big  Irish  sergeant,  while  the 
coolies — 'ricksha-men — looked  anxiously  on.  If 
'rickshas  stand  this  very  thorough  test  they  are 
considered  safe  to  go  another  month. 

In  the  station  were  a  number  of  prisoners,  who 
were  to  be  kept  until  the  next  day,  when  they 
would  be  sent  to  the  Mixed  Court  for  trial. 

The  cells  all  opened  on  to  a  sort  of  balcony  or  ve- 
randa, enclosed  in  heavy  iron  bars.  The  prisoners 
spend  most  of  their  time  out  here  in  the  air  and 
sunshine,  which  is  pleasanter  for  them  than  a  dark 
cell — and  surely  more  sanitary.  There  are  special 
177 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

cells  for  beggars,  which  are  generally  occupied,  for 
tho  it  is  against  the  law,  every  street  is  infested 
with  beggars,  who  get  rounded  up  by  the  police, 
sometimes  fifty  at  a  time. 

The  Mixed  Court  opens  at  ten  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  and  the  day  I  visited  it,  the  American 
assessor,  Dr.  Barchet,  the  official  interpreter,  was 
sitting  with  the  Chinese  magistrate,  a  mandarin 
of  high  rank. 

I  was  introduced  to  the  magistrate  by  Dr.  Bar- 
chet, and  found  him  very-  gracious  and  possessing 
a  fair  supply  of  English.  He  was  drest  in  full 
mandarin  dress,  brown  satin  coat,  beautifully  em- 
broidered, and  a  black  velvet  hat  turned  up  about 
the  edge  and  decorated  with  the  button,  the  horse- 
tail and  the  peacock's  feathers  that  indicate  a  man- 
darin 's  rank. 

We  went  into  the  court-room,  where  every  one 
quickly  took  his  place  and  the  hearings  began. 
All  prisoners  when  brought  before  the  magistrate 
must  kneel  during  the  entire  proceeding. 

Tho  all  the  prisoners  were  Chinese,  and  the  cases 
were  conducted  in  that  language,  I  could  follow 
most  of  them,  as  the  English  sergeants  preferred 
their  charges  to  Dr.  Barchet,  who  is  a  proficient 
Chinese  scholar,  and  he  in  turn  translated  them  to 
the  magistrate.  The  charges  were  mostly  petty 
ones,  the  sentences  being  light — a  fine,  or  dismissal 
with  a  reprimand. 

178 


MAJESTY   OF    THE   LAW   IN   CHINA 

Nature  has  given  the  police  a  great  advantage 
over  prisoners  in  China,  for  the  cue  is  a  handy  and 
safe  mode  of  compelling  them  to  obey.  It  is  rather 
distressing  to  a  foreigner  to  see  the  way  in  which 
the  cues  are  used  to  pull  the  men  about  with.  When 
a  policeman  brings  a  man  before  the  court,  he 
drives  him  by  his  cue,  and  when  he  takes  him  away, 
he  pulls  him  by  it,  or  if  there  are  several  prisoners, 
he  knots  their  cues  together  and  pulls  them  along 
in  a  bunch.  With  such  persuasion  a  prisoner  is 
not  apt  to  hesitate  long. 

For  thieving,  prisoners  are  sentenced  to  a  cer- 
tain number  of  strokes  with  the  bamboo  or  to  wear 
the  cangue,  for  so  many  hours  a  day  and  sometimes 
both  together. 

The  cangue  is  a  large  square  board  that  fits 
about  the  neck,  and  besides  being  very  heavy  and 
uncomfortable  is  considered  a  great  disgrace,  for 
it  has  the  prisoner's  name  and  crime  pasted  on  it. 
In  order  to  make  the  punishment  more  severe,  the 
prisoner  is  often  condemned  to  be  taken  to  the  place 
where  the  crime  was  committed  and  made  to  stand 
near  the  store  or  house  where  the  nature  of  his 
crime,  as  well  as  his  name,  is  plainly  to  be  read  by 
every  passer-by.  This  is  a  terrible  punishment,  for 
the  Chinese  are  very  sensitive  about  being  publicly 
shamed,  "losing  face,"  as  they  call  it. 

In  the  afternoon  I  went  back  to  the  Mixed  Court 
and  saw  some  men  bambooed.  It  was  done  in  a 
179 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

different  building  from  that  where  the  trials  take 
place,  being  at  one  side  of  an  open  court,  where  a 
desk  was  placed,  behind  which  sat  the  assistant 
magistrate. 

The  prisoners  were  brought  out  and  stood  at  one 
side,  waiting  their  turn.  The  magistrate  called  a 
name,  Wan  Hua,  for  instance,  and  a  prisoner 
stept  out.  The  magistrate  gabbled  off  a  Chinese 
jumble  of  words  that  meant,  "You,  Wan  Hua,  are 
convicted  of  stealing  a  coat  and  three  quilts  from 
Mrs.  Ho  Soy,  and  are  sentenced  to  two  hundred 
strokes  with  the  bamboo."  Then  he  proceeded 
with  his  reading  and  writing  and  paid  no  further 
attention. 

The  prisoner  threw  himself  on  a  piece  of  matting 
laid  on  the  top  step  leading  to  the  magistrate's 
desk;  his  trousers  were  pushed  down,  exposing  his 
thighs,  and  two  men  in  ridiculous  red  sugar-loaf 
hats  trimmed  with  blue  seated  themselves  on  the 
prisoner's  feet  and  shoulders,  the  latter  one  clutch- 
ing his  cue. 

Two  men  with  little  bamboo  rods  about  a  yard 
long  squatted  on  either  side,  when  one  delivered 
about  twenty-five  lashes,  then  rested,  and  the  other 
took  up  the  work,  counting  aloud  as  he  beat.  The 
prisoner  howled  and  cried  and  begged,  tears  stream- 
ing from  his  eyes,  for  tho  the  work  stroke  does  not 
break  the  skin,  it  is  extremely  painful. 

The  men  sitting  on  the  prisoner  joked  and 
180 


Chen  Dong 


A  Sikh  Policeman 


Two  Police  Sergeants 
A  Shanghai  Victoria 


MAJESTY   OF   THE   LAW   IN   CHINA 

laughed,  the  officers  standing  about  carrying  on 
animated  conversations,  and  as  this  all  took  place  in 
a  courtyard,  open  to  the  street,  children  ran  in  and 
out,  playing  and  laughing,  mothers  with  babies  in 
their  arms  looked  stolidly  on,  the  babies  blinking 
solemnly,  while  a  little  crowd  of  curious  men  stood 
about  the  entrance. 

The  Mixed  Court,  being  jointly  under  the  juris- 
diction of  foreigners,  is  necessarily  more  merciful 
and  lenient  than  an  unmixed  Chinese  court.  In  the 
native  city,  inside  the  walls  and  away  from  outside 
influences,  the  most  brutal  cruelties,  for  which  Chi- 
nese justice  has  long  been  famous,  or  rather  infa- 
mous, prevail.  Besides  the  cangue,  a  man  has  to 
carry  a  heavy  chain  about  his  neck  as  well,  and  pris- 
oners before  the  court  are  obliged  to  kneel  on  chains. 

A  gentleman  told  me  of  witnessing  a  court-room 
scene  in  the  interior  of  China  where  a  man  who  re- 
fused to  confess  was  struck  on  the  ankle-bone  with 
a  mallet  until  he  fainted  from  the  hideous  pain — 
the  bone  being  crushed  to  a  jelly. 

Any  one  who  has  had  an  argument  with  a  rock- 
ing-chair in  the  dark,  and  received  even  a  slight 
blow  on  the  ankle-bone,  can  appreciate  what  a 
fiendish  imagination  must  have  prompted  such  a 
torture.  During  this  scene,  a  little  Chinese  girl  in 
the  court-room,  laughing  and  prattling,  looked  on 
unmoved.  She  was  the  daughter  of  the  jailer  and 
presumably  hardened  to  such  things. 
181 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

Pirates  are  frequently  brought  in  from  the  in- 
terior, chained  together  by  rings  fastened  through 
each  man's  collar-bone,  and  sometimes  prisoners 
who  are  being  carried  from  one  place  to  another 
are  hamstrung  to  prevent  any  possibility  of  their 
escaping. 

The  most  dreadful  of  all  executions  in  China  is 
the  Ling  Chee,  or  Hundred  Cuts,  where  the  con- 
demned man  is  given  ninety-nine  cuts  on  different 
parts  of  the  body,  contrived  with  such  devilish  cun- 
ning that  death  does  not  come  until  the  last  cut, 
reaching  the  heart,  puts  him  out  of  his  agony. 

This  execution  is  only  administered  for  three 
crimes:  attempted  assassination  of  the  Emperor  or 
Empress,  the  killing  of  father  or  mother,  or  the 
killing  of  a  husband  by  a  wife.  The  killing  of  a 
wife  by  a  husband  is  not  so  serious  a  matter. 

Another  method  of  execution  peculiar  to  the  Chi- 
nese is  to  put  a  man  in  a  wicker  cage  that  it  fitted 
closely  about  his  neck,  his  head  appearing  through 
a  hole  in  the  top.  He  stands  on  several  bricks,  and 
each  day  a  brick  is  taken  from  under  his  feet,  let- 
ting his  weight  be  more  and  more  suspended  from 
his  neck.  He  is  given  nothing  to  eat  or  drink,  so 
besides  perishing  from  hunger  and  thirst  he  is 
slowly  choked  to  death.  No  man  can  endure  this 
dreadful  combination  longer  than  three  or  four 
days  at  the  outside. 

In  China  a  man  must  sign  his  own  death-war- 
182 


MAJESTY   OF   THE   LAW   IN   CHINA 

rant  by  inking  his  thumb  and  making  the  impres- 
sion of  it  on  the  paper.  Chinese  law,  when  once  it 
has  a  man  in  its  clutches,  is  loath  to  give  him  up, 
whether  he  be  innocent  or  guilty.  So  if  he  does 
not  sign  the  warrant  willingly  he  is  tortured  until 
he  does  it  in  sheer  desperation. 

Political  prisoners,  who  are  sentenced  to  ban- 
ishment, seldom  reach  the  place  of  their  destination, 
for  after  such  a  sentence  there  is  almost  always  an 
accident,  either  by  the  chair  in  which  he  is  car- 
ried being  tipped  while  on  a  bridge  by  one  of  the 
coolies  stumbling  and  thrown  into  the  river,  where 
there  is  no  hope  of  escape  from  the  clumsy,  tightly 
closed  affair,  or  else  the  banished  one  is  mysteriously 
attacked  by  highwaymen  and  murdered.  All  exe- 
cutions of  any  sort  are  free  for  any  one — man, 
woman,  or  child — to  witness. 

The  effect  of  a  universal  and  deadly  system  of 
bribery  is  only  too  apparent,  a  system  that  saps  the 
strength  and  ability  of  China  to  become  a  great 
country,  for  from  one  end  of  the  kingdom  to  the 
other  there  is  no  disinterested  desire  for  advance- 
ment, only  a  case  of  the  big  fish  eating  up  the  little 
ones  and  no  man  so  great  that  he  can  not  be  bought. 

If  a  prisoner  condemned  to  be  beheaded  will  pay 
the  executioner  a  fat  bribe,  he  may  expect  to  be 
sent  out  of  existence  with  neatness  and  dispatch, 
after  having  been  heavily  drugged  with  opium. 
But  if  he  refuses  he  must  suffer  a  clumsy  execution 
183 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

that  will  be  attended  by  torture  and  pain  before 
the  end  finally  comes.  Even  in  the  simple  and  less 
painful  process  of  bambooing,  a  bribe  will  induce 
the  whipper  to  hold  the  bamboo  stiff,  causing  much 
less  pain  than  if  allowed  to  bend  and  spring.  The 
captain  of  a  British  bark  lying  off  Canton  de- 
scribed the  execution  of  twenty-nine  pirates  who 
had  attacked  a  tug  manned  by  coolies  and  slaugh- 
tered the  greater  part  of  them.  As  all  executions 
are  free  to  the  public,  there  was  a  general  request 
by  the  crew  of  the  bark  for  a  holiday  and,  per- 
mission being  granted  by  the  captain,  there  was  a 
general  exodus  to  the  shore. 

It  appeared  that  only  those  of  the  criminals  who 
could  not  purchase  ransom  were  executed.  Those 
who  had  fifty  dollars  or  friends  that  could  supply 
that  sum  were  liberated  on  payment  of  the  same 
to  the  mandarin  of  the  district.  The  luckless 
twenty-nine  had  apparently  neither  friends  nor 
money.  So  they  were  marshaled  out  of  prison 
under  a  strong  guard  of  soldiers  and,  like  the 
prisoners  in  our  Sing  Sing  who,  for  their  last  meal, 
are  allowed  the  best  that  the  prison  cuisine  affords, 
these  malefactors  were  furnished  any  mode  of  con- 
veyance at  the  disposal  of  the  authorities  to  con- 
vey them  to  the  place  of  execution.  Most  of  them 
elected  to  go  in  state  in  palanquins  or,  what  is  the 
same,  bamboo  baskets  borne  between  two  soldiers, 
while  a  few  walked. 

184 


The  condemned  were  marshaled  in  line,  and  re- 
quired to  kneel  on  ' '  all  fours ' '  before  the  mandarin 
and  his  suite.  All  knew  the  procedure,  and  there 
was  no  confusion.  The  headsman,  armed  with  a 
keen,  broad-bladed  sword,  stept  out.  If  this  gen- 
tleman should  fail  to  sever  the  head  of  his  victim 
in  three  blows,  his  own  would  be  forfeited.  But  in 
this  instance  he  did  his  work  with  both  certainty 
and  celerity.  Approaching  the  first  in  line  he 
gave  a  swift,  swinging  blow  on  the  back  of  the 
neck  and  a  decapitated  head  rolled  on  to  the  ground. 
The  bodies  were  gathered  up  and  buried  in  a  com- 
mon grave. 

This  dreadful  system  of  bribery  and  "squeez- 
ing" is  the  canker  at  the  heart  of  China.  Every 
one  expects  it  from  every  one  else ;  even  the  children 
are  not  to  be  trusted.  A  Chinese  woman  sends  her 
child  to  a  chow  shop  and  weighs  the  food  when  it 
is  brought  home  to  see  that  her  own  child  is  not 
"squeezing"  her. 

In  making  change  the  smallest  boy,  as  salesman, 
will  keep  back  two  or  three  "cash."  Should  you 
say,  ' '  How  fashion  you  steal  my  cash  ?  You  b  'long 
allee  same  as  t'ief,"  he  will  indignantly  answer: 
"My  no  b'long  t'ief,  my  ketchee  you  watch,  then 
b'long  t'ief,  but  my  just  make  little  squeeze."  No 
one  is  ashamed  of  it  or  accounts  it  dishonest. 

It  would  seem  as  if  all  the  horrible  punishments 
so  publicly  administered  would  effectually  prevent 
185 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

even  the  most  reckless  and  hardened  from  commit- 
ting crime,  but  it  doesn't  seem  to  do  so,  and  the 
courts  go  on  flourishing  on  the  bribes  extorted  and 
the  money  paid  by  innocent  people  to  keep  out  of 
court,  for  it  is  openly  averred  that  a  Chinese  court 
of  justice,  among  other  delinquencies,  is  not  even 
above  blackmail. 

It  is  not  surprising  that  among  the  people  are 
current  such  sayings  as  "Tigers  and  snakes  are 
kinder  than  judges  or  runners,"  or  "In  life  be- 
ware of  courts,  in  death  beware  of  hell!" 


186 


XII 
MANILA:  THE  OLD  AND  THE  NEW 

Landing  of  Magellan — Drinking  Blood  Contract — Haughty 
Spaniards — Chinese  Pirates — Era  of  Peace — The  Silver 
Galleons — Greedy  Dutch — Battle  of  Playa  Honda — Jap- 
anese Ambassador — Eeligious  Embassy — Jealous  Portu- 
guese— Spanish  Friars  Put  to  Death — British  Squad- 
ron Arrives — Bombards  the  City — Great  Losses  by  the 
British — The  Peace  of  Paris — British  Embark  and  Sail 
for  India — Islands  Settle  Down  Under  Spanish  Domin- 
ion— Dewey's  Guns  Change  the  Map — My  Debt  to  an 
Accomplished  Manilian — What  the  U.  S.  A.  Has  Done 
for  Manila — Two  Centuries  of  Dirt  Bemoved. 

IT  is  nearly  four  hundred  years  since  the  green 
and  beautiful  Philippines  lay  smiling  in  the 
sunshine  on  the  day  that  Magellan  landed  with 
his  little  fleet  upon  Mindanao,  one  of  the  largest 
of  the  island  group,  and  formally  dedicated  the 
newly  found  world  to  God  and  the  Church.  Even 
the  barbaric  ceremony  of  drawing  and  drinking 
blood  from  each  other's  breast  was  gone  through 
with  by  the  Spaniard  and  the  Mindanao  chieftain 
that  the  treaty  of  loyal  friendship  might  be  ce- 
mented in  inviolable  faith. 

But,  alas !  the  brave  and  brilliant  Magellan  sur- 
vived only  a  few  months  his  landing;  for  he  was 
187 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE   WORLD 

mortally  wounded  by  an  arrow  in  the  hands  of  a 
native  during  a  battle  between  the  rival  tribes  of 
Cebu  and  Magtan,  and  perished  just  as  both  fame 
and  fortune  were  about  to  be  laid  at  his  feet. 

But  a  posthumous  glory  has  not  been  denied  him, 
and  three  splendid  monuments — one  on  the  spot 
where  he  was  slain;  another,  an  obelisk,  on  Cebu, 
recording  his  first  discovery ;  and  the  third,  on  the 
left  bank  of  the  Pasig  at  Manila — testify  to  the 
regard  in  which  his  memory  is  held. 

For  successive  generations  the  islands  were  har- 
assed by  wars  and  rumors  of  wars.  The  haughty 
and  bigoted  Spaniard  gave  place  to  the  crafty  and 
bloodthirsty  Chinese — pirates  and  outlaws,  greedy 
for  the  wealth  of  the  islands,  and  determined  to 
possess  them,  until  finally  repulsed,  after  innumer- 
able sackings  and  slaughters,  and  driven  forever 
from  their  shores,  thus  saving  the  Philippines  to 
Spain  and  America. 

One  can  not  but  listen  with  delight  to  the  tra- 
ditions of  the  period  that  followed,  an  era  of  peace 
and  prosperity  almost  without  parallel.  Following 
the  peaceful  pursuits  of  agriculture,  primitive  tho 
they  were;  attending  the  services  of  the  Church 
into  which  they  were  baptized  and  welcomed;  ob- 
serving its  festivals  and  joining  in  the  graceful 
dances  and  music  that  made  up  so  large  a  part  of 
their  pleasure  and  pastimes;  feeling,  it  is  true, 
the  iron  yoke  of  Spain's  intolerance  and  bigotry, 

188 


MANILA:   THE  .OLD   AND    THE   NEW 

but  able,  at  times,  to  throw  it  off  with  the  ease  and 
lightness  of  the  true  tropic  temperament — these 
were  the  times  that  lulled  the  souls  of  the  Filipinos 
to  dreamy  f orgetf ulness  and  repose. 

Across  the  seas  came  and  went  the  richly 
freighted  argosies — galleons  laden  with  silver  from 
Mexico;  ships  filled  with  luxuries  from  distant 
Spain,  until  the  treasury  was  replete  to  overflowing, 
and  the  homes  of  the  officials  gorgeous  with  the 
hangings  and  paintings,  the  carvings  and  suitings 
of  Spain  and  South  America. 

Into  this  Arcadian  paradise  entered  the  Dutch — 
stolid,  greedy,  immovable,  and  prepared  to  seize 
the  rich  prizes  and  hold  them  for  their  own.  Re- 
morseless as  fate,  these  freebooters,  who  never  gave 
nor  asked  quarter,  bore  down  upon  the  laden  gal- 
leons and  towed  them  away  from  Philippine  waters, 
while  the  Spaniards  stood  upon  the  shore  in  help- 
less misery. 

Millions  of  dollars  intended  for  the  salaries  of 
the  Governor-General,  his  officials  and  the  troops 
were  confiscated,  and  yet  the  enemy,  with  charac- 
teristic Dutch  pertinacity,  reappeared  for  more. 

The  bloody  battle  of  Playa  Honda  finally  drove 
the  greedy  Dutch  back  to  their  stronghold  in  the 
Moluccas,  whence  they  sallied  forth  no  more. 
The  odds  were  too  overwhelming — ships,  flags,  ar- 
tillery were  seized,  and  merchandise  plundered  to 
the  value  of  over  $300,000. 

189 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

Then  came  the  Japanese,  in  great  dignity,  pre- 
ceded by  an  ambassador,  demanding  surrender  and 
acknowledgment  of  himself  by  the  Spaniards  as 
their  liege  lord.  Diplomacy  was  the  weapon  of  the 
wily  hidalgo;  and  diplomacy  was  met  by  diplo- 
macy. A  treaty  of  commerce  was  suggested  and 
made  and,  in  time,  religious  embassies,  anxious  to 
convert  the  Japanese  to  the  Church,  set  sail  for  Ja- 
pan and  were  presented  to  the  Emperor. 

Here  the  Portuguese  stept  in — traders  who 
were  jealous  of  Spanish  favor — and  poisoned  the 
ear  of  the  Japanese  Emperor.  The  Embassy  of 
Spanish  friars,  after  suffering  every  ignominy, 
were  put  to  death  by  crucifixion.  Again  did  the 
blood  of  the  martyrs  become  the  seed  of  the  Church ; 
and  to-day  the  "Saints'  days"  of  these  martyrs  are 
observed  throughout  the  islands  with  great  pomp 
and  ceremony. 

Then  came  the  British — last,  tho  not  least,  of  the 
train  of  spoilers  that  for  centuries  had  ravaged 
the  beautiful  archipelago.  But  they  came  in  the 
name  of  war — dignified  war;  for  Spain  had  de- 
clared war  against  England  and  the  latter  was  not 
slow  in  seizing  her  prerogative. 

In  September,  1762,  a  British  squadron  of  thir- 
teen ships  (fateful  number!)  under  command  of 
Admiral  Cornish  appeared  in  Manila  Bay,  de- 
manding instant  surrender  and  submission.  A 
fighting  force  of  nearly  5,000  men — troops,  sea- 

190 


MANILA:  THE  OLD  AND  THE  NEW 

men  and  sepoys — was  landed  and  the  trouble  be- 
gan. The  previous  capture  of  a  Spanish  galleon 
containing  two  millions  and  a  half  of  specie  in- 
flamed the  greed  of  the  British  afresh,  and  assault, 
pillage,  and  rapine  followed  in  quick  succession  for 
over  a  twelvemonth.  The  sufferings  of  the  natives 
were  indescribable,  until  they  fled  to  the  fastnesses 
of  their  native  forests.  The  bombardment  contin- 
ued for  a  month,  until  20,000  cannon-balls  and 
5,000  shells  were  thrown  into  the  city,  the  English, 
notwithstanding  their  ultimate  victory,  losing 
nearly  2,000  men  and  many  gallant  officers. 

Nearly  a  year  more  was  consumed  in  dickering 
over  the  indemnity  of  $4,000,000  demanded  by 
General  Draper,  and  by  the  petty  jealousies  and 
intrigues  against  British  power  and  authority,  the 
priests  being  the  chief  cause  of  bloodshed,  as  they 
taught  the  people  that  no  mercy  should  be  shown 
to  the  infidels.  The  friars  laid  aside  the  cowl  for 
the  helmet,  and  believed  their  cause  more  than 
justified,  as  they  had  lost  over  a  quarter  of  a 
million  dollars,  while  fifteen  convents  had  ben  des- 
troyed, several  valuable  estates  despoiled,  and 
many  of  their  number  killed  or  taken  prisoner  and 
exiled  to  India  and  Europe. 

The  arrival  of  a  Spanish  grandee  with  a  com- 
mission as  Governor-General  in  his  pocket,  and  the 
news  of  an  armistice  by  which  the  Peace  of  Paris, 
February,  1763,  was  proclaimed,  put  an  end  to 
191 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

further  hostilities;  but  it  was  not  until  the  spring 
of  1764  that  the  British  finally  embarked  for  In- 
dia, after  all  claims  had  been  satisfactorily  settled, 
and  the  Islands,  torn  by  so  many  centuries  of  rapine 
and  bloodshed,  were  left  to  settle  down,  with  what 
feelings  of  relief  and  content  they  could  command, 
under  the  rule  and  dominion  of  Spain  and  its 
priestly  hierarchy. 

The  booming  of  Dewey  's  guns  on  that  memorable 
May  day  of  1898  changed  in  a  twinkling  the  order 
of  things,  from  the  old  unto  the  new;  even  the 
face  of  nature  followed  the  universal  edict,  which 
ordains  that  the  higher  civilization  must  drive  out 
the  lower,  and  became  transfigured  from  dirt  to 
cleanliness,  from  disease  to  health,  and  from  im- 
moral ugliness  to  moral  beauty  and  strength. 

I  am  indebted  to  that  most  accomplished  Manilian, 
Mr.  Ramon  Lala,  for  much  that  is  interesting  in 
fact  and  history  concerning  the  early  centuries  of 
his  native  Islands,  and  I  feel  that  he  will  pardon 
me  if  I  have  borrowed  too  freely  from  his  honeyed 
store,  when  I  say  that  nowhere  else  was  I  able  to 
find  material  so  faithful  and  exact,  and  none  in 
which  fact  and  fancy  were  so  happily  blended. 

Before  I  went  to  Manila  I  had  heard  much  won- 
dering as  to  what  the  United  States  meant  to  do 
with  the  Philippines.  Since  I  came  away  I  have 
often  asked  myself  what  the  United  States  had  not 
done  with  the  Philippines.  And  it  is  the  Europeans 

192 


MANILA:    THE    OLD   AND   THE   NEW 

who  will  echo  this,  for  the  Americans  do  not  need 
to ;  I  mean  the  Europeans  who  have  lived  for  years 
in  the  Islands  and  who  are  enjoying  Manila  as  it 
is  and  who  remember  Manila  as  it  was;  they  will 
sound  the  praises  of  America  and  her  good  work 
in  the  Far  East. 

These  admirers  of  our  country  and  its  methods 
are  neither  sentimentalists  nor  sycophants.  They 
are  in  the  Philippines  solely  for  business  reasons; 
they  knew  a  good  thing  when  they  see  it,  and  in 
the  last  five  years  they  have  seen  more  of  it  than 
they  ever  believed  could  be  possible  in  Manila. 

Keform  under  the  Spanish  regime  meant  to  put 
thieves  and  do-nothings  out  of  office,  so  that  a  new 
set  of  thieves  and  do-nothings  could  take  their 
places.  Honest  Spaniards  were  not  unknown  in 
Manila,  especially  in  positions  that  had  no  possible 
chances  of  graft  in  them;  but  they  did  little  but 
hold  down  their  respective  chairs  and  draw  their 
salaries — when  they  could. 

Meanwhile  Manila  ranked  high  in  filthiness,  which 
(Japan  excepted)  is  the  distinguishing  mark  of  Far 
Eastern  cities  not  under  Anglo-Saxon  rule. 

As  a  consequence,  all  the  plagues  of  Biblical 
Egypt  had  their  own  sweet  way  with  natives  and 
Spaniards  alike,  and  were  piously  attributed  to  the 
will  of  Heaven.  Now  they  are  regarded  as  specters 
that  are  laid,  and  which — thanks  to  the  Americans 
— will  rise  no  more. 

193 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

But  they  were  not  laid  in  a  day,  for  they  had 
associated  causes.  The  streets  were  cleaned  under 
American  management  and  compulsion — so  much 
compulsion  that  the  natives  complained  bitterly. 
Besides,  the  removal  of  three  centuries  of  accumu- 
lated filth  was  almost  like  tearing  the  city  up  by 
the  roots.  And,  when  the  plague  broke  out  about 
five  years  ago,  causing  deaths  at  the  rate  of  a  hun- 
dred a  day,  some  Filipinos  actually  rejoiced,  for 
did  not  this  prove  that  clean  streets  were  un- 
healthful? 


194 


XIII 

THE   MANILA   OF    TO-DAY 

In  Seven  Years  the  United  States  Government  Has  Per- 
formed Herculean  Tasks — Great  Filtering  Plant — Ab- 
solutely Pure  Water — Cleanest  Bill  of  Health  in  the 
Universe — Civil  as  Well  as  Military  Government — Ad- 
mirable Police  Force — Dollar  Has  Lost  Its  Name — The 
Universal  Conant — Van-Loads  of  New  Money — I  Buy  a 
Panama  Hat  for  Twenty  Conant — "She  Acknowledges 
to  Twenty-five" — Fine  Fire  Department  Built  on  New 
York  Lines — Trolley  Line — New  City  Hall  and  Labora- 
tory— Beautiful  Luneta — Fine  Harbor  Works — Fiesta 
of  the  Virgin  of  Antipole — Flourishing  Candle  Busi- 
ness— Popular  "Mayor"  Brown — His  Big  Heart  and 
Hospitable  Home — The  Consumptive's  Dying  Wish 
Fulfilled — I  Tell  the  Mayor  a  Story  of  Speaker  Eeed — 
"I  Don't  Want  the  Horse  to  See  You! " 

THE  Manila  of  to-day,  when  she  is  yet  in  her 
adolescent  stage,   uncouth  and  unfinished 
in  many  ways,  gives  such  promise  of  future 
beauty  and  strength  that  she  fascinates  and  com- 
pels universal  interest. 

It  is  barely  seven  years  since  the  Americans  took 

the  city  in  hand,  for  tho  it  has  been  occupied  by 

them  for  nine  years,  the  Spooner  Bill,  advocating 

giving  the  first  chance  in  commercial  and  financial 

195 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

ways  to  the  Filipinos,  tied  the  Americans'  hands. 
The  Filipinos  neither  recognized  nor  appreciated 
their  opportunities  and  would  never  have  done  so 
had  the  Spooner  Bill  given  them  twenty  instead 
of  two  years'  time. 

In  the  seven  years  allowed  them  the  Americans 
have  performed  Herculean  tasks,  sanitary  meas- 
ures being  the  first  and  greatest  step  toward  im- 
provement. The  government  has  established  a 
great  filtering  and  sterilizing  plant — every  one 
now  buys  absolutely  pure  water  for  the  nominal 
sum  of  four  cents  a  gallon.  The  natives  still  use 
the  city  water,  but  the  fear  of  God  has  been  put 
into  them,  and  the  great  majority  boil  the  water 
before  drinking  it. 

Manila  shows  to-day  one  of  the  cleanest  bills  of 
health  of  any  city  in  the  world,  and  for  this,  more 
than  to  any  other  reason,  they  are  indebted  to  the 
rigid  measures  of  the  Board  of  Health. 

The  climate  is  still  enervating  to  a  newcomer, 
and  always  will  be,  but  this  should  be  offset  by 
occasional  trips  to  a  cooler  climate,  or  higher  alti- 
tude, which  may  be  found  right  in  the  province, 
or  a  sea-voyage  may  be  taken,  while  judicious  care 
in  eating  and  drinking  should  always  be  main- 
tained. 

In  the  first  days  of  the  American  occupation  the 
government  was  entirely  military,  but  now  there 
is  a  civil  government  as  well,  controlling  the  police, 

196 


THE   MANILA   OF   TO-DAY 

fire,  and  municipal  departments.  The  police  are 
a  splendid  body  of  men,  recruited  from  the  army. 
They  dress  in  khaki  and  make  a  fine  appearance. 
Their  pay  is  $95.00  (gold)  a  month,  and  on  a  two- 
to-one  system,  such  as  prevails  there  in  regard  to 
money,  this  is  excellent  wages. 

The  dollar  has  lost  its  name  in  Manila.  The  new 
silver  coinage  for  the  Philippines  is  called  the 
"Conant"  (emphasis  on  the  first  syllable)  after 
the  American  who  devised  it  for  the  government. 
The  denominations  are  the  same  as  those  for  the 
money  of  the  United  States,  but  they  are  worth  only 
half  as  much.  The  large  silver  coin  popular 
throughout  the  Far  Eastern  seaports,  including  un- 
til recently  Manila,  is  almost  universally  called  a 
"Mexican"  after  the  land  of  its  origin.  Most  of 
us  can  remember  about  twenty  years  ago  how  the 
United  States  tried  to  unload  the  "trade  dollar," 
so  called,  in  Japan,  China,  and  other  Eastern  coun- 
tries, but  the  time-honored  "Mexican"  held  its 
own,  and  the  trade  dollars  came  back  home  to 
plague  our  tradesmen  and  to  weigh  down  our 
pockets;  they  were  dubbed  "those  plaguey  cart- 
wheels!"— and  finally  were  called  in  by  the  gov- 
ernment. 

In  the  Philippines,  the  Mexican  has  been  re- 
placed by  the  Conant  dollar  only  by  the  aid  of  the 
law.  Since  January  1st,  1905,  there  has  been  a 
minimum  penalty  of  $2,000  for  expressing  the 
197 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

terms  of  any  business  transaction  in  Mexican  dol- 
lars. At  the  time  of  our  visit  we  saw  several  vans 
coming  into  the  city  loaded  with  the  new  Conant 
money  for  the  Philippines.  I  thought  the  thing 
to  do  was  to  buy  a  straw  hat, — that  is,  a  Manila, — as 
I  had  heard  they  were  cheaper  (and  just  as  service- 
able) than  anywhere  else  in  the  East;  but  the  shop 
fellow  charged  me  twenty  dollars.  I  did  not  pur- 
chase; but  the  next  day  when  some  friends  told 
me  that  was  the  price  in  Conant  dollars,  which 
meant  only  ten  gold  dollars,  I  went  back  and 
bought  the  hat. 

At  a  dinner  at  the  home  of  the  famous  "Mayor" 
Brown — of  whom  more  anon — some  ladies  were 
wondering  how  old  a  certain  lady  (who,  of  course, 
was  not  present)  was;  and  one  of  them  remarked, 
"Well,  she  acknowledges  to  twenty-five."  "Gold, 
or  Conant?"  quickly  asked  the  witty  "Mayor." 

The  fire  department  should  warm  the  heart  of 
any  American  who  has  a  pride  in  the  splendid 
equipment  of  American  cities,  for  that  of  Manila 
compares  favorably  with  any  of  them,  being  mod- 
ern and  complete  in  every  way.  It  was  planned 
and  organized  by  Hugh  Bonner,  the  famous  fire 
chief  of  New  York,  and  in  all  points  shows  evidence 
of  the  master  hand. 

In  a  city  where  abound  so  many  native  houses, 
made  of  mats,  bamboo  and  thatch,  fires  are  par- 
ticularly destructive.  A  law  has  lately  been  passed 

198 


THE   MANILA   OP   TO-DAY 

forbidding  the  erection  within  the  city  limits  of 
any  more  nipa  houses. 

In  the  old  days  of  Spanish  rule  the  hand-engines 
were  very  inadequate,  and  being  pulled  by  Fili- 
pinos it  goes  without  saying  that  rapidity  was  not 
one  of  their  leading  characteristics.  It  is  said  that 
if,  while  an  engine  was  being  dragged  to  a  fire,  a 
man's  cigaret  went  out,  all  the  others  would  stop 
to  give  him  a  chance  to  light  it  again.  House- 
holders contributed  to  the  support  of  fire  com- 
panies, and  when  a  man's  house  caught  fire,  in- 
quiry was  first  made  as  to  whether  he  was  a  con- 
tributor. If  not,  the  firemen  went  away  and  let 
the  house  burn: 

One  of  the  most  interesting  departments  in  the 
civil  government  is  the  Secret  Service.  In  a  com- 
munity where  insurrections  are  hatched  overnight, 
and  battle,  murder  and  sudden  death  are  daily 
occurrences,  this  service  must  necessarily  be  well 
equipped  and  vigilant. 

The  Secret  Service  system  of  Manila  is  one  of 
unusual  excellence,  and  in  its  rooms  may  be  seen 
a  collection  of  mementos  of  great  interest. 

The  pawn-shops  in  the  city  are  conducted  by  the 
priests,  and  a  rule  of  the  civil  government  is  that 
every  day  a  list  of  the  articles  pawned  the  day  be- 
fore must  be  sent  to  the  Secret  Service.  In  this  way 
stolen  goods  may  be  quickly  traced,  and  for  many 
reasons  this  law  is  excellent. 
199 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

The  city  swarms  with  public  carriages,  victorias, 
and  carromatas.  They  are  drawn  by  the  little 
native  ponies,  unruly  and  pig-headed  when  they 
are  not  dejected  and  somnolent  This  is  perhaps 
principally  due  to  bad  driving,  for  here,  as  every- 
where in  the  East,  horses  are  barbarously  driven, 
arousing  the  sympathy  and  indignation  of  all  true 
horse-lovers. 

The  little  native  carts  go  tilting  along,  at  an 
angle  that  must  be  particularly  uncomfortable  for 
the  occupants.  Ponies  hardly  larger  than  good- 
sized  calves  pull  these  covered  carts,  holding  some- 
times as  many  as  seven  or  eight  natives,  packed 
in  tightly.  The  driver  sits  on  the  dashboard  and 
flogs  the  little  animal  at  every  step.  It  is  told  of 
these  ponies  that  they  will  pull  any  number  of 
natives,  but  will  balk  if  two  white  people  get  in 
behind  them. 

The  first  cf  the  year  1906  a  fine  trolley  system 
was  put  in  operation,  and  this  made  a  great  revolu- 
tion in  the  modes  of  conveyance.  Prices  for  the  use 
of  cabs  dropt  fifty  per  cent,  and  horseflesh  will 
soon  go  a-begging. 

When  the  trolley  line  was  first  proposed  the  Ma- 
nila cocheros,  who  number  several  thousand, 
threatened  deadly  things,  warned  the  promoters 
that  the  tracks  would  be  torn  up,  and  that  the 
progress  of  the  road  would  be  so  hindered  in  innu- 
merable ways  that  it  could  never  be  completed. 
200 


THE   MANILA   OF    TO-DAY 

But  notwithstanding  these  elocutionary  fireworks, 
the  building  of  the  road  went  on  steadily,  Uncle 
Sam's  soldiers  and  the  civil  constabulary  probably 
looking  too  formidable  a  proposition  to  tackle. 

Some  of  the  new  public  buildings  are  very  at- 
tractive, notably  the  City  Hall.  About  all  of  them 
the  freshest  and  greenest  of  grass  is  kept  in  the 
most  perfect  condition.  To  be  sure,  this  has  been 
achieved  only  by  dint  of  hard  work  and  much  wa- 
ter, but  as  the  Spaniards  always  contended  that 
grass  could  not  be  made  to  grow  in  Manila,  the 
Americans  are  pardonably  proud  of  the  results 
they  have  achieved.  The  cold-storage  and  distil- 
ling plant  is  the  most  imposing  of  the  new  build- 
ings, and  in  many  ways  the  most  important. 

The  government  has  lately  completed  a  new  lab- 
oratory, on  which  a  great  deal  of  money  has  been 
expended.  It  is  in  the  Spanish  Mission  style  of 
architecture,  and  will  be  a  great  ornament  to  the 
town  when  the  grounds  are  laid  out  and  finished. 
It  is  designed  to  be  used  for  testing  all  metals, 
minerals,  and  vegetation  in  the  islands,  experiment- 
ing to  find  the  best  uses  for  everything,  and  de- 
ciding what  soil  is  most  adapted  to  certain  prod- 
ucts. It  is  intended  as  a  special  benefit  to  the  na- 
tives, as  many  of  them  are  agriculturists,  and  the 
aim  of  the  institution  is  to  discover  and  put  into 
practical  use  all  the  resources  of  the  islands. 

It  is  to  be  regretted  that  the  natives  do  not  ap- 
201 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE    WORLD 

predate  or  understand  the  magnitude  of  the  gift, 
nor  the  benefits  to  be  derived  from  it.  They  are 
distrustful  of  the  Americans,  disliking  them  on 
general  principles,  as  progress  and  hustling  are 
opposed  to  their  ideas  of  life. 

The  Luneta,  an  open  plaza,  with  a  bandstand 
in  the  center,  surrounded  by  drives,  is  the  meeting- 
place  of  Manilians  of  all  classes.  In  the  evening 
from  six  to  seven  hundred  carriages  drive  about 
or  stand  by  the  curb,  their  occupants  listening  to 
some  one  of  the  many  military  bands. 

It  is  a  pretty  sight,  for  the  Luneta  is  directly  on 
the  bay,  and  besides  the  beauty  of  the  smooth  har- 
bor dotted  with  shipping,  there  is  always  the  added 
attraction  of  a  magnificent  sunset.  Manila  is  fa- 
mous for  these  splendid  sunsets  that  turn  to  a 
perfect  glory  the  whole  western  sky. 

The  walled  city  remains  practically  the  same. 
The  old  wall  still  stands  as  when  it  was  put  up 
three  or  four  hundred  years  ago  for  protection 
against  Chinese  and  Malay  pirates,  that  is,  except 
along  the  river  front,  where  it  interfered  with 
business  enterprises.  Here  it  is  being  torn  down 
by  convict  laborers,  and  as  they  work,  disclosing 
the  inner  portions  of  the  wall,  it  may  be  seen  how 
solid  and  substantial  was  the  work  of  the  Span- 
iards. This  same  solidity  may  be  seen  in  the 
churches,  convents,  and  portions  of  old  walls  still 
standing. 

202 


THE   MANILA   OF   TO-DAY 

The  gates  from  the  walled  city  proved  too  nar- 
row when  traffic  became  heavier,  lines  of  vehicles 
being  congested  between  the  double  gates.  So  two 
wide  breaches  have  been  made  in  the  wall,  afford- 
ing means  of  rapid  ingress  and  egress.  The  moat  is 
dry  now  and  is  gradually  being  filled  in,  to  be 
turned  into  floral  gardens  lining  the  wall. 

Everything  is  being  done  to  beautify  the  city, 
to  provide  fine  harbor  works,  and  an  elaborate 
system  of  wharves,  parks,  and  recreation  grounds. 
The  beginning  of  the  Zoo,  which  has  ambitions  to 
be  a  fine  one  some  day,  is  a  large  cage  of  monkeys, 
that  seem  to  be  a  never-failing  source  of  enter- 
tainment and  amusement  to  the  crowd  of  natives 
that  surround  the  cage  at  all  hours. 

We  were  fortunate  in  witnessing  a  rather  im- 
portant religious  ceremony,  the  fiesta,  so  dear  to 
the  native  heart.  The  occasion  was  the  visit  to 
Manila  of  the  Virgin  of  Antipolo,  a  very  distin- 
guished lady  in  many  respects.  Her  history  is  in- 
teresting and  varied,  and  it  is  wonderful  to  see 
the  veneration  in  which  she  is  held. 

Her  early  history  is  rather  shrouded  in  mys- 
tery, and  dates  back  between  four  and  five  hun- 
dred years.  She  made  her  first  appearance  in  Mex- 
ico, some  say  by  falling  from  heaven,  and  landing 
in  the  top  of  a  tree,  where  she  was  discovered  by 
some  padres  and  taken  into  their  church  to  become 
the  patron  of  safe  and  pleasant  voyages. 
203 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

In  those  days  fleets  of  treasure-ships  sailed  from 
Mexico,  bringing  silver  bullion  and  money  to  the 
Philippines.  Many  of  these  precious  ships  were  lost, 
encountering  storms  or  becoming  the  prey  of  the 
pirates  that  infested  the  southern  seas. 

Being  imprest  by  the  fame  which  had  become 
wide-spread  of  the  Virgin  of  safe  and  pleasant 
voyages,  the  admiral  of  the  treasure-fleet  conceived 
a  bold  plan.  On  the  eve  of  departure  for  one  of 
these  perilous  trips,  he  stole  the  sacred  image  and 
carried  her  away  on  his  flagship.  It  is  on  record 
that  that  voyage  was  a  perfect  one,  no  storms  or 
pirates  being  encountered,  and  not  a  single  piece- 
of -eight  being  missed. 

For  many  voyages  the  Virgin  was  carried  back 
and  forth,  insuring  safe  passage  every  time,  un- 
til finally  she  was  installed  with  much  honor 
in  the  church  at  Antipole,  a  few  miles  from 
Manila. 

Here  she  remained,  worshiped  and  honored,  the 
richest  gifts  being  bestowed  upon  her,  until  now 
she  is  the  possessor  of  more  than  two  hundred  and 
fifty  thousand  dollars'  worth  of  jewels,  and  a  trunk 
full  of  the  most  splendid  apparel. 

For  the  first  time  in  a  hundred  and  fifty-six 
years  she  was  brought  from  her  church  at  Antipolo 
and  visited  Manila,  where  she  was  installed  in  the 
Cathedral. 

It  is  said  that  about  fifty  years  ago  preparations 
204 


THE   MANILA   OP   TO-DAY 

were  made  to  receive  her  at  Manila,  arches  and 
decorations  put  up  and  a  feast-day  appointed,  but 
when  they  went  to  lift  her  from  her  pedestal  she 
shook  her  head,  so  that  they  did  not  dare  to  take 
her  down,  and  she  remained  until  another  feast 
was  set. 

This  happened  while  we  were  in  Manila,  and  tho 
the  procession  did  not  take  place  owing  to  a  severe 
shower,  something  very  unusual  for  the  season,  we 
saw  the  crowds,  the  decorations,  and  the  Virgin. 
She  is  about  four  feet  high,  indifferently  carved  in 
wood,  her  complexion  looking  as  if  her  many  voy- 
ages on  the  Spanish  Main  had  tanned  her  pretty 
badly.  Her  hair  is  long  and  thick  and  exceedingly 
black  for  a  lady  of  such  advanced  age.  She  was 
drest  in  a  flowing  robe  of  sky-blue,  thickly  em- 
broidered, and  crusted  with  gems.  A  coronet  of 
precious  stones  was  on  her  head,  and  necklaces  of 
pearls,  gold  and  jewels  were  hung  about  her  neck. 

The  church  was  packed  with  worshipers  in  ecsta- 
sies of  devotion,  the  women  with  thin  black  veils 
thrown  over  their  heads  and  faces,  the  proper  attire 
for  church  attendance. 

Outside  the  wide  terrace  about  the  church  was 
an  animated  picture.  Marketmen  and  women 
crowded  the  space  with  baskets  and  mats  holding 
fruit,  nuts,  cakes,  candies,  toys  and  trinkets  of  all 
kinds.  This  open  market  at  the  church  door  is 
allowed  only  on  special  occasions,  and  in  and  out 
205 


SMILING  'BOUND  THE  WORLD 

among  the  buyers  and  sellers  went  the  health  offi- 
cers, fumigating  and  disinfecting  everything  and 
everybody. 

A  feature  of  all  the  churches  at  any  time  are  the 
sellers  of  candles,  women  and  girls,  who  waylay  the 
entering  worshipers  and  beg  them  to  buy  a  candle 
to  burn  to  their  patron  saint.  The  candle  business 
is  conducted  by  padres,  from  whom  the  candle-sell- 
ers buy  them,  for  they  must  first  be  blest  before 
being  offered  for  sale. 

An  irreverent  young  American  told  me  that  these 
candles  are  blown  out  as  soon  as  service  is  over  and 
being  only  half  consumed  are  melted  again  to  help 
make  more  candles  for  the  next  day.  This  process 
is  repeated  over  and  over  again  so  that  the  padre's 
profit  doubles  continually. 

The  most  striking  personality  in  Manila,  and 
certainly  the  most  popular,  is  William  Walton 
Brown,  familiarly  known  to  every  man,  woman  and 
child  in  the  municipality  as  "Mayor  Brown." 
When  military  titles  and  honors  were  being  scat- 
tered about  lavishly,  upon  the  occupation  by  the 
United  States  army,  Admiral  Dewey  remarked 
jocosely  at  a  banquet  given  in  honor  of  his  being 
promoted  from  Commander  to  Admiral,  "What's 
the  matter  with  our  friend  Brown  having  a  title, 
too?  I  propose  that  he  become  the  Mayor  of  Ma- 
nila. Gentlemen,  here's  to  the  new  Mayor!" 

The  name  "stuck,"  and  to  this  day  Mr.  Brown 
206 


THE   MANILA   OF   TO-DAY 

is  known  by  no  other  name  than  that  of  "Mayor" 
Brown.  Physically  he  is  a  man  of  most  generous, 
not  to  say  lavish,  proportions.  In  weight  he  equals 
Secretary  Taft;  in  height  he  is  something  over  six 
feet;  and  his  "inner  man" — I  have  special  refer- 
ence to  his  heart — must  be,  at  least,  seven  feet  one 
way  and  twelve  the  other.  No  one,  it  is  safe  to  say, 
ever  came  to  him  in  trouble — pecuniary  or  other- 
wise— and  went  away  uncomforted  or  unassisted. 
I  could  mention  a  dozen  instances,  but  will  specify 
but  one : 

A  young  man,  a  victim  of  consumption,  whose 
days  were  numbered,  and  who  desired  to  return  to 
his  native  land  to  die,  came  to  Mr.  Brown  and 
asked  if  he  could  get  him  accommodations  on  a 
transport  that  would  shortly  leave  for  America. 
The  kind-hearted  "Mayor"  replied  that  he  would 
do  his  best,  but  feared  it  would  be  impossible,  as 
the  troops  were  to  be  packed  in  like  sardines.  "If 
you  can't  manage  it,  Mayor  Brown,  then  nobody 
can;  but  I  must  go  home  to  die,"  said  the  con- 
sumptive. 

Mr.  Brown  went  to  the  proper  authorities  and, 
as  he  feared,  found  there  were  no  accommodations 
— "not  even  for  a  fly,  Mayor!"  said  the  booking 
clerk.  ' '  He  '11  have  to  wait  for  the  next  transport — 
only  a  matter  of  a  few  months." 

"A  few  months!"  cried  the  "Mayor."  "That 
will  mean  a  grave  for  him  in  the  Philippines. 
207 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

Here!"  and  he  dived  down  into  his  pocket  and 
brought  up  the  price  of  a  first-class  passage  on  the 
next  steamship  sailing  within  a  fortnight  and  sent 
it  to  the  invalid,  who  reached  America  in  time  to 
breathe  his  last  amid  family  and  friends,  as  he  had 
longed  to  do. 

"Mayor"  Brown  is  a  native  of  New  York,  where 
he  has  substantial  interests,  and  went  to  the  Orient 
over  a  decade  ago,  being  connected  with  a  firm  in 
Yokohama.  He  was  Admiral  Dewey's  guest  on  the 
flagship  of  the  squadron  that  sailed  from  Hong 
Kong  to  Manila  on  the  famous  expedition  that  sank 
the  Spanish  fleet  and  changed  the  face  of  the  map 
for  the  American  nation.  He  was  on  the  firing 
line  with  our  troops  during  the  battle,  and  was  one 
of  the  first  Americans  to  enter  the  city.  In  the  in- 
terests of  the  American  Commercial  Co.,  and  in 
other  pursuits,  Mr.  Brown  has  added  to  his  already 
handsome  fortune,  the  most  of  which  goes  to  make 
his  fellow  men — especially  Americans — happier  and 
better.  He  attends  the  meetings  of  the  Municipal 
Board  of  Manila  and  does  not  hesitate  to  stand  up 
for  what  he  considers  the  rights  of  his  fellow  citi- 
zens— especially  Americans. 

His  beautiful  home  at  Ermita  is  headquarters  for 
numberless  congenial  spirits,  and  the  Sunday  tiffins 
of  the  Neversleep  Club — oh,  but  they  are  wide- 
awake fellows — are  functions  which,  like  the  "May- 
or's" cuisine,  can  not  be  excelled.  Many  handsome 
208 


Ancient  Fire  Department 

Modern  Fire  Department 


Nipa  House 


THE   MANILA   OF   TO-DAY 

tokens — notably  a  chased  silver  loving-cup — have 
been  presented  to  him  by  those  who  have  enjoyed 
his  hospitality. 

His  carriage — an  open  victoria,  with  servants  in 
natty  livery  of  white  linen,  top-boots  and  belts  of 
black  patent  leather,  high  hats,  with  cockade  on 
the  side,  and  white  gloves — is  as  well  known  in 
Manila  as  the  face  of  its  genial  owner.  This  equi- 
page was  ours  to  command  during  our  entire  stay 
in  Manila,  and  was  sent  to  our  hotel  every  day. 
We  had  many  charming  outings,  especially  the  six 
o'clock  drive  around  the  beautiful  Luneta,  over- 
looking the  harbor  and  its  famous  sunsets,  in  com- 
pany with  its  owner,  who  was  only  too  delighted 
to  point  out  each  and  every  spot  of  interest.  We 
were  indebted  to  him  for  our  interesting  visit  to 
Bilibid  Prison  on  the  very  day  of  the  insurrection, 
for  the  doors  were  closed  against  all  comers  except 
the  popular  "Mayor  of  Manila." 

I  have  said  that  Mr.  Brown  is  a  large  man.  The 
first  day  I  had  the  pleasure  of  riding  with  him 
I  told  him  a  story  of  ex-Speaker  Eeed,  another 
stout  American.  When  the  Speaker  was  in  Lon- 
don he  was  about  to  enter  a  cab  when  the  driver 
said  "St!  go  in  quietly,  will  you?  I  don't  want 
the  horse  to  see  you ! ' ' 

I  echo  the  sentiment  of  the  leading  journal  of 
Manila,  which,  in  a  graceful  and  commendatory 
article  on  the  genial  "Mayor,"  said:  "Pew  people 
209 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE    WORLD 

in  the  Philippines  are  more  popular  or  have 
stancher  friends  than  Mr.  Brown,  and  when  the 
time  comes  that  his  tour  of  duty  in  these  islands  is 
completed,  it  will  be  with  heavy  hearts  that  those 
hosts  of  friends  will  see  him  off." 


210 


XIV 
NATIVE   LIFE   IN   MANILA 

Costumes  Unchanged — Beautiful  Textures — Woven  From 
Pineapple  Leaf — Put  Cigar  in  Baby's  Mouth  for  Safe- 
Keeping — Men's  Shirts  a  Mere  Thought — Chinese 
Marry  Filipino  Women  and  Become  Good  Catholics — 
Water  in  Standard  Oil  Cans — Cock-fighting  the  National 
Amusement — Booster  the  Most  Important  Member  of 
the  Family — Housekeeping  Hard  for  Americans — In- 
competent Servants — Spaniards  Used  to  Whip  Them — 
Domestic  Life  Among  the  Planter  and  Merchant  Classes 
— Charming  Homes  and  Happy  Hearts — Graceful  Hos- 
pitality— Their  Pleasures  and  Amusements — Miracle 
Play — Fireworks  and  Home  to  Bed — Emilio  Aguiualdo 
— His  Wings  Clipt  and  He  Will  Soar  no  More. 

NATIVE  life  in  Manila  remains  practically 
the  same  as  at  the  time  of  the  American 
occupation.     The  native  costume  remains 
unchanged,   especially  among  the  women.     They 
still  wear  gay  skirts,  with  a  separate  piece  of  dark 
goods  folded  over  them  like  panniers,  or  a  long, 
wide  apron  of  satin,  richly  embroidered.     They 
have  transparent  waists  with  loose,  full  sleeves  of 
jussi   (pronounced  hoo-see)    or  pina,  woven  from 
pure  pineapple-leaf  fiber  (an  almost  priceless  fab- 
ric, a  small  pina  handkerchief  being  worth  $50), 
211 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

with  the  stiff  handkerchief  around  their  necks  that 
makes  them  all  look  hunchbacked;  and  they  still 
clatter  along  on  heelless  slippers  with  wooden  soles, 
scorning  stockings.  Their  heavy  striped  or  satin 
skirts  are  held  high,  displaying  an  elaborately  em- 
broidered white  petticoat  and  bare  ankles.  At 
first  I  thought  the  wide-striped  skirts  were  worn  in 
imitation  of  the  American  flag  until  told  that  this 
fashion  had  prevailed  for  many  years. 

The  women  of  the  poorer  class  go  barefoot,  and 
their  skirts  are  abbreviated  in  every  way,  their 
waists  generally  slipping  from  one  shoulder,  and 
their  hair  untidy  when  it  is  not  hanging  altogether 
loose,  in  thick,  black  masses.  The  women  of  all 
classes  are  constantly  smoking  cigars  or  cigarets. 
They  carry  the  children  astride  of  one  hip,  in- 
stead of  on  the  back  as  in  Japan  and  some  parts  of 
China. 

One  of  the  funniest  sights  I  ever  saw  was  a  scant- 
ily clothed  Filipino  woman  carrying  a  boy  about 
three  years  old  astride  of  her  hip.  He  wore  a  tiny 
green  shirt,  his  only  garment;  on  his  head  an  old 
derby  hat  was  jammed  down  to  his  ears;  and,  to 
complete  the  picture,  his  mother  took  a  cigar  about 
eight  inches  long  from  her  mouth,  while  she  chaf- 
fered with  a  shopman,  and  put  it  in  the  boy's  mouth 
for  safe-keeping. 

The  men  are  taking  to  foreign  customs  more  rap- 
idly, and  numbers  of  them  wear  regular  shoes,  and 
212 


NATIVE  LIFE  IN  MANILA 

put  a  gauze  undershirt  beneath  their  outside  airy 
one  of  jussi.  Some  of  these  exquisite  jussi  shirts 
are  so  fine  they  are  a  mere  thought,  and  must  cer- 
tainly be  worn  for  ornament  only,  for  they  serve 
neither  as  a  protection  nor  covering.  So  delicate 
is  the  thread  that,  in  weaving,  it  is  protected  by 
gauze  from  the  gentlest  breeze. 

The  Chinese  are  the  only  industrious  portion  of 
the  population  and  practically  control  the  retail 
trade  among  the  natives.  Many  of  them  are  mar- 
ried to  Filipino  women,  who  make  them  good  Cath- 
olics before  they  consent  to  marry  them.  A  native 
woman  who  gets  a  Chinese  husband  is  very  lucky, 
for  she  will  then  be  assured  of  a  living,  as  he  will 
work  for  her  and  his  children,  something  a  Fili- 
pino can  not  always  be  depended  upon  to  do.  They 
will  also  carry  water  for  their  wives  to  wash  with, 
something  a  Filipino  husband  will  not  do.  There- 
fore, the  Chinese  are  rather  in  demand  as  husbands 
among  the  native  women. 

Water-carriers  are  constantly  going  about  the 
streets,  and  the  most  of  them  carry  water  in  the 
ubiquitous  Standard  Oil  cans,  slung  from  a  bamboo 
yoke  laid  across  the  shoulders.  In  every  part  of  the 
Orient,  beginning  at  Honolulu,  through  Japan,  in 
far  Cathay,  not  stopping  at  India's  coral  strand, 
but  all  the  way  around  to  Egypt — the  traveler  will 
find  the  Standard  Oil  can  used  for  every  conceiv- 
able purpose.  The  Kanaka  boys  in  Honolulu  bail 
213 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

out  their  canoes  with  them ;  they  are  used  as  water- 
cans  everywhere;  lanterns  are  made  from  them  in 
Japan,  and  other  utensils  in  China ;  elsewhere  they 
are  cut  up  for  ornaments,  and  in  Egypt  they  are 
used  to  pack  dates  in!  Hundreds  of  thousands  of 
these  cans  are  sent  East — filled  with  oil,  which  is 
truly  the  Light  of  Asia ! 

Filipino  men  incline  toward  the  bootblack  trade, 
there  being  more  stands  than  there  is  seemingly  any 
demand  for.  The  opportunities  between  customers 
for  rest  in  the  chairs  is  probably  the  attraction  that 
commends  this  trade  to  the  ease-loving  Filipinos. 

Their  greatest  pleasure  in  life  is  cock-fighting. 
There  is  no  little  shack  without  its  petted  and  pam- 
pered rooster,  tied  by  the  leg,  and  tenderly  watched 
and  cared  for.  If  the  family  goes  out  for  a  little 
jaunt  or  an  hour's  recreation,  the  woman  may  look 
after  the  children  the  best  she  can,  while  the  man 
goes  along,  tenderly  nursing  the  precious  fowl  in 
his  arms. 

If  the  house  catches  fire,  a  native  will  first  save 
his  rooster  before  he  even  thinks  of  his  family.  On 
every  harbor  boat,  where  families  live,  the  rooster, 
the  most  important  member  of  the  family,  may  be 
seen  tied  to  the  mast;  at  sunrise  Manila  is  a  very 
pandemonium  of  crowing  cocks.  Every  one  gets 
up  early,  for  sleep  is  impossible. 

Another  pastime  of  the  people  is  music.  They 
are  passionately  fond  of  it,  and  their  ear  is  mar- 
214 


velously  true.  There  are  a  hundred  and  fifty  na- 
tive bands  in  Manila,  not  more  than  a  half-dozen 
members  out  of  the  whole  number  being  able  to 
read  a  note  of  music.  They  play  by  ear  entirely, 
like  our  negroes  of  the  Southern  States,  but  their 
instruments  are  always  in  perfect  tune,  and  their 
playing  is  harmonious  and  beautiful. 

"We  had  been  told  such  alarming  things  about 
Manila,  and  warned  so  earnestly  against  indulging 
in  certain  edibles,  that  we  entered  the  city  in  fear 
and  trembling,  but  we  found  the  drinking-water 
delicious,  the  little  hotel  comfortable,  and  the  table 
quite  good,  considering  its  limitations.  At  least 
there  were  good  butter  and  excellent  bread,  two 
things  that  are  not  always  found  in  places  more 
pretentious. 

Mosquitoes  were  troublesome  at  night,  but  cano- 
pies over  the  beds  gave  ample  protection,  while  the 
trade-winds,  constant  the  year  around,  proved  the 
assertion  of  the  Manilians  that  nowhere  do  people 
enjoy  more  sound  or  refreshing  sleep. 

In  the  houses  which  have  sliding  screens  instead 
of  windows,  little  lizards  take  up  their  homes,  flit- 
ting along  the  walls  and  calling  to  each  other  with 
a  peculiar  chuckling  cry.  They  are  harmless  lit- 
tle creatures  and  no  one  seems  to  mind  them  in  the 
least. 

Housekeeping  is  rather  difficult  for  Americans, 
servants  being  both  incompetent  and  lazy.  Mar- 
215 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

keting  has  to  be  done  by  the  head  of  the  household 
and  everything  has  to  be  taken  home,  for  nothing 
is  delivered.  This,  together  with  the  strain  of  be- 
ing constantly  on  the  watch  against  thieving,  is  try- 
ing to  the  nerves  of  the  newcomer. 

The  Spaniards  used  soundly  to  whip  their  Fili- 
pino servants,  engendering  in  them,  as  they  be- 
lieved, a  wholesome  fear  and  respect.  As  they  have 
no  fear  of  corporal  reproof  from  Americans,  they 
are  lazy,  saucy  and  worthless  to  the  last  degree. 

An  American  with  fairly  good  servants,  whom 
he  had  had  from  four  to  seven  years,  was  asked 
how  he  managed  matters.  He  said  he  resorted  to 
the  old  custom  of  whipping  with  the  result  that,  in- 
stead of  the  contempt  most  servants  have  for  their 
indulgent  American  employers,  he  had  gained  their 
respect  and  affection,  and  nothing  could  drive  them 
from  his  employ.  Some  reformers  might  throw  up 
their  hands  and  indulge  in  protest  against  this, 
but  the  Filipino  mind  seems  to  work  on  those 
lines. 

Native  life  in  the  suburbs  of  Manila  is  the  most 
unreal  and  fantastic  I  have  ever  seen.  It  looks  as 
if  everything  had  been  arranged  for  an  exhibition, 
and  that  nothing  was  real  or  permanent.  The  lit- 
tle nipa  houses,  smothered  in  groves  of  banana-trees, 
seem  merely  temp'orary  ornaments.  The  women 
leaning  from  their  windows,  cigaret  in  mouth, 
look  as  if  posing  for  pictures,  and  all  the  sights  and 
216 


NATIVE   LIFE    IN   MANILA 

sounds  are  so  theatrical  and  brilliant  that  it  seems 
as  if  there  should  be  a  sign  reading  ' '  For  this  occa- 
sion only!" 

Mr.  Ramon  Lala  has  given  some  charming  and 
interesting  details  of  domestic  life  among  the  Ma- 
nilians.  The  residences  of  the  well-to-do  native 
planters  are  picturesque  buildings,  the  body  of  the 
house  being  raised  about  six  feet  from  the  ground 
and  mounted  on  thick  pieces  of  stone.  This  per- 
mits of  a  free  circulation  of  air  and  prevents  the 
entrance  of  snakes  and  insects.  A  wide  stairway 
connects  the  house  with  the  street  and  leads  to  a 
broad  open  piazza,  called  a  cahida,  which  is  en- 
closed by  sliding  windows  composed  of  small,  square 
panes  of  mother-of-pearl,  which  keep  out  the  heat 
but  admit  rays  of  light.  Here  are  assembled  the 
family — the  father,  kind  and  considerate,  the  moth- 
er, sweet  and  sympathetic,  the  children,  quiet  and 
obedient.  The  visitor  to  this  scene  of  domestic 
happiness  is  welcomed  with  graceful  hospitality  and 
offered  sugared  dainties  and  cigarets. 

Beyond  is  a  large  room — the  "living-room"  of 
the  West — with  window,  walls  and  sliding  doors. 
Some  chairs  and  a  table — the  latter  covered  with 
a  beautifully  embroidered  cloth — are  set  about; 
upon  the  walls,  which  are  covered  with  cloth  in- 
stead of  plaster,  are  bric-a-brac  and  ornaments, 
while  engravings  and  family  portraits  hang  be- 
tween. A  crystal  chandelier,  with  globes  of  colored 
217 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

glass,  hangs  from  the  ceiling.  A  small  oratory 
stands  in  a  corner.  The  broad  floor-planks,  scrubbed 
daily  and  polished  with  plantain-leaves,  are  smooth 
and  clean  as  a  mirror. 

Bedrooms  open  from  the  main  room.  The  kitchen 
and  bathroom  are  in  a  separate  building.  Every- 
where are  cleanliness  and  coolness — the  essentials  of 
comfort  in  a  tropic  climate. 

The  roof  is  thatched  with  nipa-palm,  and  the  out- 
side walls  of  bamboo,  painted  white,  and  striped 
with  green  and  blue,  are  covered  with  grotesque 
carvings.  This,  with  the  broad  eaves  and  wide 
balconies,  gives  the  house  a  most  picturesque 
appearance. 

The  home  of  a  well-to-do  merchant  is  a  more 
solid  and  substantial  building,  with  huge  stone  pil- 
lars and  grated  gateways  at  the  entrance,  through 
which  may  be  seen  emerging  a  handsome  carriage, 
with  liveried  servants  on  the  box  and  flashing  sil- 
ver harness  en  the  high-stepping  horses.  Beautiful 
trees  of  every  color  and  blossom,  together  with  num- 
bers of  waving,  feathery  palms,  encompass  the 
house  on  every  side.  White-garbed  coolies  go  in 
and  out,  noiselessly  brushing,  cleaning  or  serving 
as  the  case  may  be. 

The  afternoon,  following  the  appetizing  tiffin  of 

fruits  and  other  dainty  dishes,  is  for  sleep — the 

siesta  being  universally  observed.     Then  comes  a 

five  o'clock  drive  or  a  promenade  on  the  Luneta,  to 

218 


NATIVE   LIFE   IN   MANILA 

listen  to  the  music  of  the  fine  regimental  bands — or, 
as  some  of  the  male  species  prefer,  a  visit  to  a  cock- 
pit, where  heavy  gambling  is  going  on.  Then  peo- 
ple go  home  for  supper,  which  is  a  generous  meal 
of  roast  pig,  chicken,  salads,  and  many  native  fruits 
and  rice.  Cigarets  and  coffee  are  passed  round, 
the  women  smoking  incessantly  as  do  the  men.  Per- 
haps a  hundred  guests — friends  and  neighbors,  in- 
vited and  uninvited — pass  in  and  out.  All  are 
equally  welcome.  Then  follow  singing,  playing 
upon  native  instruments,  and  dancing  by  beautiful 
young  girls  and  handsome  youths,  who  portray  by 
a  thousand  graceful  movements  the  impassioned 
love-romances  of  their  native  isles. 

Then  the  people  go  home  or  to  the  village  green, 
where  is  given  a  moro-moro  play — a  sort  of  miracle 
play,  in  which  kings  and  queens,  soldiers  and  vari- 
ous Biblical  personages  contend  together.  It  is  a 
tumultuous  tragedy,  in  which  is  sometimes  gross 
humor,  but  no  coarseness  or  suggestion  of  it.  Then 
come  fireworks — very  brilliant  and  beautiful — and 
afterward  home  with  the  mosquito  canopies,  and 
sleep. 

One  of  the  most  interesting  figures  of  Filipino 
life  I  failed  to  see.  I  refer  to  Emilio  Aguinaldo. 
This  famous  character  has  emulated  Cincinnatus, 
beaten  his  sword  into  a  plowshare,  and  retired  to 
farm  life  at  Cavite.  Much  criticism  has  been  rife 
in  the  States  as  to  Aguinaldo 's  treatment  by  the 
219 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

government.  The  opinion  was  almost  universal 
that  a  man  who  had  cost  the  United  States  so  much 
in  lives  and  money  should  have  been  executed,  or 
at  least  punished  severely. 

When  one  sees  the  Filipino  people  and  hears  the 
opinion  of  wise  old  residents,  it  is  apparent  that 
the  government  could  have  done  no  better  than  it 
did  and  that  it  handled  the  matter  with  far-sighted 
diplomacy.  Had  they  executed  him,  in  accordance 
with  the  cry  of  numerous  hot-headed  stay-at-homes 
who  demanded  it,  he  would  have  immediately  as- 
sumed the  proportions  of  a  martyr  in  the  eyes  of 
the  people;  his  blood  would  have  been  like  dragons' 
teeth,  from  which  would  have  sprung  arms  and 
war,  and  a  struggle  indefinitely  prolonged.  An 
emotional,  irrational  people  would  have  gone  crazy 
with  patriotic  zeal,  their  blood  fired  by  the  heroic 
death  of  a  martyr,  and  the  consequences  would  have 
been  too  far-reaching  to  be  counted. 

The  commonplace,  humdrum  farmer  at  Cavite 
does  not  at  all  appeal  to  the  natives,  for  very  little 
of  a  hero,  according  to  their  ideas,  can  be  made  of 
a  man  who  ends  his  theatrical  career  so  inglori- 
ously.  The  special  requisites  for  a  hero  to  these 
people  are  a  pair  of  red  trousers,  a  sword,  and 
much  bombastic  elocution.  Shorn  of  all  attraction 
Aguinaldo  is  gradually  losing  his  admirers,  if  he 
has  not  already  done  so.  The  whole  matter  seems 
quietly  dying  out. 

220 


NATIVE   LIFE   IN   MANILA 

The  policy  of  the  government  was  most  wise,  and 
tho  closely  watched,  there  need  be  no  fear,  for 
Aguinaldo's  wings  are  clipt,  and  he  will  soar  no 
more  as  a  hero  in  the  eyes  of  the  people  of  the  Phil- 
ippines. 


221 


XV 

BILIBID   PRISON 

Tragedy  Enacted  in  the  Old  Spanish  Prison — Insurrection 
of  Prisoners — Escape  of  Sixty  at  Malahi  Island — Win- 
chester Rifles  from  the  Towers  Quash  Eevolt — Gatling 
Gun  also  Takes  a  Hand — Over  in  Five  Minutes — I  Visit 
the  Prison  Shortly  After — Fifteen  Killed  and  Many 
Wounded — Warden  Wolf  and  His  Assistant  Mr.  Stew- 
art Show  Me  Over  the  Ancient  Prison  and  Tell  Me  Its 
History — Houses  Largest  Number  in  the  World — Forty- 
seven  Hundred,  and  Only  One  Hundred  and  Fifty  Are 
White — Gangs  Sent  Out  Daily  to  Work  on  Roads — Good 
Prison  Fare  Famous — Natives  Would  Like  Prison  Lodg- 
ing if  Hard  Work  Did  Not  Go  Along  with  It — American 
Indifference — Present  Condition  of  Filipinos  Thousand- 
fold Better  than  in  Four  Centuries — Future  Full  of 
Splendid  Possibilities — The  True  Story  of  a  Duck. 

ON  the  seventh  of  December,  1904,  at  the 
historic  Bilibid  prison,  a  tragedy  was  en- 
acted  such   as   had   threatened   to   occur 
many    times   before.     Two   hundred   convicts   at- 
tempted to  escape  by  "rushing"  the  guard  and  sca- 
ling the  walls,  but  were  prevented  by  the  prompt 
action  of  the  guards,  and  surrendered  peaceably 
after  thirteen  of  their  number  had  been  killed  and 
forty-one  wounded. 

The  attempt  was  probably  prompted  by  the  suc- 
222 


BILIBID   PRISON 

cessful  escape  of  sixty  prisoners  at  Malahi  Island 
a  short  time  before,  who  were  working  on  a  gov- 
ernment contract,  guarded  by  soldiers.  One  eve- 
ning, when  returning  from  their  work  in  a  launch 
to  the  mainland,  at  a  signal  the  sixty  prisoners 
sprang  at  the  guards,  overpowered  them  by  force 
of  numbers,  and  after  killing  them  with  their  own 
muskets,  threw  their  bodies  overboard.  Then  by 
managing  the  launch  themselves,  they  made  for  the 
mainland,  and  thence  escaped  to  the  hills.  All  but 
sixteen  were  captured  afterward,  and  these  have 
doubtless  been  "rounded  up"  long  since. 

In  this  Bilibid  prison  affair  the  men  who  at- 
tempted to  escape  had  all  been  detention  prison- 
ers, mostly  murderers,  whose  cases  had  been  ap- 
pealed, and  who  were  waiting  the  action  of  the 
Grand  Jury.  All  were  desperate  men,  with  noth- 
ing to  lose,  who  faced  the  chances  of  some  of  their 
number  being  killed  when  they  rushed  to  scale  the 
walls. 

At  two  o'clock,  after  their  midday  meal  and  at 
the  end  of  the  siesta,  when  a  guard  had  opened  the 
door  of  the  detention  ward  to  get  the  dinner  uten- 
sils, he  was  struck  on  the  head  and  fell  senseless. 
Immediately  two  hundred  prisoners  rushed  out  of 
the  door  and  across  to  the  blacksmith  shop,  where 
they  intended  to  arm  themselves  with  pickaxes  and 
sledge-hammers,  and  then,  sheltered  by  the  shop, 
climb  the  wall  at  the  rear.  But  as  they  rushed  to- 
223 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

ward  the  shop,  the  guard  on  the  corner  of  the  wall 
fired  his  rifle ;  the  two  other  guards  on  that  side  of 
the  wall  did  the  same,  and  the  guard  from  the  cen- 
tral conning- tower  was  hardly  a  second  behind  them. 
These  men  were  all  armed  with  Winchester  riot 
rifles,  loaded  with  cartridges  containing  twelve 
buckshot  that  scatter  over  an  area  of  fifteen  feet 
at  a  distance  of  one  hundred  and  twenty.  The 
prison  is  further  fortified  against  revolt  by  a  Gat- 
ling  gun  perched  in  a  tower  on  the  main  building 
and  commanding  a  sweep  of  the  entire  prison  en- 
closure. 

Almost  simultaneously  with  the  first  report  from 
the  riot  rifles,  the  Gatling  spoke,  and  the  shrill 
' '  zippity-zip-zip ' '  of  its  bullets  sang  the  death-song 
of  the  Bilibid  rebellion.  The  men  were  mowed 
down  like  grain  before  the  scythe;  and  a  flag  of 
truce  quickly  raised  fluttered  the  signal  of  submis- 
sion. The  whole  affair,  from  the  bolt  out  of  the 
door  to  the  raising  of  the  flag  of  truce,  consumed 
barely  five  minutes. 

I  arrived  shortly  afterward  at  the  prison,  to  pay 
a  friendly  visit  to  the  warden,  and  was  entirely 
ignorant  of  the  catastrophe.  Everything  was  then 
quiet;  the  only  evidences  of  the  tragedy  were  thir- 
teen naked  Filipinos  lying  in  a  row,  with  arms 
outspread,  awaiting  identification.  While  I  was 
there  this  work  was  being  carried  on  by  a  guarded 
band  from  the  detention  ward.  As  each  man  was 
224 


BILIBID   PRISON 

identified,  he  was  put  into  a  pine  coffin  and  taken 
away  to  be  buried  in  the  prison  cemetery.  The 
wounded  were  placed  in  the  hospital,  and  assistance 
from  outside  surgeons  had  to  be  asked.  The  re- 
maining one  hundred  and  forty-six  were  chained 
and  placed  in  close  confinement. 

Through  the  courtesy  of  the  warden,  Mr.  Wolf, 
and  the  assistant,  Mr.  Stewart,  I  was  shown  through 
the  prison  and  told  something  of  its  history.  Bil- 
ibid  was  the  prison  used  for  the  whole  province  in 
Spanish  times,  and  under  that  rule  was  the  scene 
of  many  tortures  of  prisoners,  and  of  much  cor- 
ruption among  officials.  Prisoners  frequently  es- 
caped by  scaling  the  walls,  but  more  frequently  by 
bribing  the  officials.  It  was  said  that  any  man 
could  escape  if  he  had  the  price,  no  matter  what 
his  crime.  Prisoners  were  not  compelled  to  wear 
uniforms,  so  that  escape  was  rendered  much  easier. 

These  non-uniformed  prisoners  were  taken  out 
to  work  on  the  road,  where,  as  there  was  no  distin- 
guishing feature  about  them,  they  very  often 
slipt  the  guard.  If  the  guard  had  taken  out  a 
hundred  men  in  the  morning,  he  was  supposed  to 
return  at  night  with  the  same  number,  but  if  any 
were  missing  he  would  round  up  some  other  citi- 
zens, who,  after  spending  a  night  in  a  cell,  had  a 
chance  to  escape  on  the  morrow. 

When  the  city  was  captured  by  the  Americans  in 
August,  1898,  Bilibid  prison  was  taken  over  just  as 
225 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

it  was,  inmates  and  all.  Many  were  there  against 
whom  there  was  no  record  of  any  crime,  and  a  for- 
mer Spanish  custom  is  said  to  have  been  that  if  a 
man  had  an  enemy  or  wished  to  wreak  vengeance 
on  any  one,  he  would  buy  that  man's  entrance  into 
Bilibid  on  some  trumped-up  charge,  or  on  none 
at  all. 

The  American  government  has  done  wonders  in 
reorganizing  and  improving  the  prison  and  to-day 
Bilibid  houses  the  largest  number  of  prisoners  in 
the  world  confined  in  one  enclosure.  There  are 
about  forty-seven  hundred,  of  whom  only  one  hun- 
dred and  fifty  are  white. 

Gangs  are  sent  out  daily  to  work  at  all  sorts  of 
labor  on  the  streets  or  in  grading  land.  So  many 
changes  and  improvements  are  going  on  constantly 
that  they  have  plenty  of  work.  The  midday  meal 
is  brought  to  them  wherever  they  are  working. 
They  have  an  hour  to  rest.  At  four  they  are 
returned  to  the  prison,  and  here  a  curious  cere- 
mony takes  place.  All  the  convicts  are  marched 
into  the  central  enclosure,  those  who  have  been 
out  being  thoroughly  searched.  At  the  command  of 
the  bugle  they  form  into  companies  and  the  band 
plays  "The  Star  Spangled  Banner."  All  the  con- 
victs uncover  and  salute  Old  Glory  as  it  comes  down 
from  the  staff  where  it  has  fluttered  all  day. 

Then  they  form  in  line  and  receive  their  supper, 
each  man  getting  his  share  in  a  tin  plate.  They 
226 


BILIBID   PRISON 

march  past  stations  where  it  is  served,  several  sta- 
tions being  active  at  the  same  time,  and  with  such 
regularity  that  the  entire  forty-seven  hundred  in- 
mates receive  their  meal  inside  of  fourteen  min- 
utes. The  supper  consisted  of  an  excellent  stew 
made  from  Australian  frozen  beef,  potatoes  and 
onions,  together  with  a  large  piece  of  good  wheat 
bread.  They  are  marched  into  quarters  to  eat. 

The  good  fare  at  the  prison  is  famous  among  the 
natives,  and  might  be  an  inducement  to  crime,  if 
the  antidote  of  hard  work  did  not  go  with  it.  For 
hard  work  is  something  that  a  Filipino  wishes  to 
have  nothing  to  do  with.  On  the  day  of  my  visit 
the  flag  ceremony  was  omitted  because  the  prison 
band  had  been  almost  put  out  of  commission  on  ac- 
count of  about  thirty  of  the  members  having  been 
" among  those  present"  in  the  shooting  affair  ear- 
lier in  the  day. 

I  had  been  quite  imprest  with  the  whole  affair, 
and  was  surprised  at  the  indifference  with  which 
Americans  who  were  old  residents  of  Manila  treated 
it.  I  was  speaking  of  it  in  the  evening  to  an  Amer- 
ican lady  who  had  lived  there  five  years,  and  she 
asked  me  how  many  had  been  killed.  I  told  her 
thirteen,  but  more  might  die  from  their  wounds. 
"Is  that  all?"  she  exclaimed.  "What  a  pity!" 

This  seemed  to  be  the  general  sentiment,  and 
when  seeking  an  explanation  I  learned  that  Amer- 
icans have  become  so  accustomed  to  sudden  out- 
227 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

breaks  of  Filipinos,  to  their  foolishness  in  following 
any  leader  who  sets  himself  up,  and  to  their  gen- 
eral unreliability,  that  they  have  become  weary  and 
impatient  of  the  whole  problem.  To  one  who  lives 
there  the  idea  of  self-government  seems  a  hopeless 
chimera.  Certainly  their  present  condition  is  a 
thousandfold  better  than  in  the  four  centuries  pre- 
ceding American  occupation,  while  their  future 
holds  out  possibilities  of  prosperity  and  happiness 
heretofore  undreamed  of. 

When  we  took  the  steamer  from  Manila  to  Hong 
Kong,  we  were  reminded  of  an  anecdote  told  by  my 
dear  friend  Colonel  Theodore  C.  Marceau,  who  is 
a  famous  raconteur  of  amusing  experiences  encoun- 
tered during  his  travels  in  every  part  of  the  world. 

Several  years  ago,  when  Colonel  Marceau  was  in 
Manila,  then  under  Spanish  rule,  the  most  popular 
restaurant  was  kept  by  a  Malay,  with  manners  of 
ingratiating  and  oily  politeness.  The  restaurant 
was  on  the  roof  of  a  flat  building,  and  a  really 
delightful  place  to  dine  in  the  cool  and  bracing 
evening  which  follows  a  day  of  heat  in  Manila. 

A  constant  attendant  in  this  restaurant  was  one 
of  the  Malay's  pets,  a  big  white  Peking  duck,  almost 
the  size  of  a  goose,  which  wandered  among  the 
tables  begging  for  bits  of  food.  He  was  a  welcome 
guest  at  every  table,  his  beseeching  little  "quack, 
quacks"  being  always  met  with  donations  of  bread 
or  meat. 

228 


Two  Old  Roosters 


A  Rope- Walk 


A  Filipino  Mother 
"  Mayer  ''  Brown's  Residence  and  Carriage 


BILIBID   PRISON 

Within  a  very  few  days  after  the  dashing 
Colonel's  arrival,  every  one  noticed  that  the  duck 
paid  attention  to  no  one  else,  but  camped  out  per- 
manently beside  the  Marceau  table.  This  was  due 
to  surreptitious  feedings  of  candy  and  champagne, 
which  produced  an  affection  of  such  fervor  on  the 
part  of  the  duck  that  his  Malay  owner  presented 
him  to  the  Colonel  with  a  grand  flourish,  and  as 
a  farewell  token  of  his  esteem. 

The  presentation  was  made  on  board  the  steamer 
immediately  prior  to  her  departure  for  Hong  Kong, 
so  there  was  nothing  to  do  but  accept  the  bird,  and 
let  chance  decide  what  might  be  done  with  him 
later. 

The  Captain  decided  that  to  make  a  feast  of  him 
would  be  best,  for  surely  a  duck  fattened  on  candy 
and  champagne  must  be  dainty  eating.  But  Jim, 
as  the  bird  had  been  christened,  took  possession  of 
the  deck  with  such  sang-froid  and  made  such 
good  friends  with  all,  following  them  about  like 
a  dog,  or  laying  his  head  on  their  knees  with  soft, 
friendly  little  "quack,  quacks"  that  there  was  no 
one  on  the  boat  who  would  hear  of  sacrificing  Jim. 

So  throughout  the  trip  he  paced  the  decks  like 
an  admiral,  the  favorite  alike  of  passengers  and 
crew. 

Arriving  at  Hong  Kong,  there  arose  the  important 
question  of  what  was  to  be  done  with  Jim.  It  was 
finally  decided  to  return  him  to  Manila  to  his 
229 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

former  owner,  where  he  might  lead  the  life  of  a 
Sybarite,  living  on  the  fat  of  the  land. 

Colonel  Marceau  found  that  another  steamer  was 
sailing  almost  immediately  for  Manila,  and  inter- 
viewed the  Captain  about  taking  Jim  with  him. 
The  Captain  declared  he  had  no  license  to  carry 
live  stock  and  the  only  way  he  could  go  would  be 
as  a  passenger.  The  Colonel  did  not  wish  Jim  to 
fall  into  the  hands  of  Chinamen,  who  are  particu- 
larly fond  of  smoked  duck,  so  he  booked  a  passage 
for  the  bird,  beyond  question  the  first  time  on 
record  that  a  duck  has  traveled  as  a  first-class 
passenger. 

On  the  list  he  was  booked  as  Jim  Pagensis,  the 
name  being  purely  an  airy  flight  of  imagination 
on  the  part  of  the  Colonel,  who,  as  he  watched  the 
steamer  carrying  his  former  pet  back  to  Manila, 
wished  him  ' '  sunny  skies ! ' ' 


230 


XVI 

A   PARTING   GLIMPSE    OF    CHINA 

Harbor  of  Hong  Kong— A  Beautiful  Sight — Terraced  Hill- 
sides— Busy  Wharves  and  Female  Coolie  Laborers — A 
Wonderful  City — Handsome  ^Residences  at  the  Peak — 
Beautiful  View — Grabbing  Real  Estate — The  Boy,  the 
Apple,  the  Sixpence,  and  the  Bible — ' '  I  '11  Make  a  Poli- 
tician of  Him ! ' ' — ' '  You  're  a  Hog,  and  You  '11  Never 
Get  Over  It ! ' ' — Americans  Unwelcome — They  Are  Fair 
Game  for  Extortion  and  Bobbery — We  Are  Invited  to 
Dine  with  Mr.  Wei  Yuk — Are  Carried  Up  the  Peak 
by  Coolie  Bearers — A  Palatial  Residence  and  a  Princely 
Eepast — Charming  and  Cultivated  Hosts — How  a  Chi- 
nese Lady  of  High  Rank  Dresses — Splendid  Jewels. 

FROM  the  enervating  _heat  of  Manila  to  the 
cool  and  comparatively  bracing  climate  of 
the  hilly  island  of  Hong  Kong  was  a  grate- 
ful change.  The  harbor,  hemmed  in  by  rugged 
hills  up  the  sides  of  which  are  terraces  with  hand- 
some buildings  and  residences,  one  above  the  other, 
is  a  beautiful  sight.  The  face  of  the  water  is  dotted 
with  every  imaginable  craft,  from  the  little  sampan 
and  the  clumsy  junk  to  the  great  English  war-ship 
sitting  grim  and  gray  on  the  water  like  a  sort  of 
aquatic  bulldog. 

It  is  a  busy  scene  at  the  landing,  for  ships,  junks 
231 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

and  river  steamers  are  being  loaded  and  unloaded, 
and  hundreds  of  coolies  are  hurrying  between  the 
wharves  and  the  go-downs  on  the  opposite  side  of 
the  street,  all  the  work  being  attended  by  the  shout- 
ing, pushing  and  wild  excitement  that  seem  to  be 
inseparable  from  the  performance  of  any  labor  in 
China.  Many  of  these  coolies  are  women,  who  are 
a  class  by  themselves  and  follow  the  trade  from 
mother  to  daughter. 

At  first  it  is  difficult  to  distinguish  them  from 
the  men,  but  they  can  be  recognized  generally  from 
their  broad-peaked  hats  and  the  superior  neatness 
and  completeness  of  their  dress.  The  fact  that 
many  of  them  wear  a  bracelet  on  one  arm  is  not 
much  help  in  distinguishing  the  sexes,  for  many  of 
the  men  wear  the  same,  and  earrings,  too. 

Hong  Kong  is  a  wonderful  city,  constructed  as 
it  is  on  a  hillside,  with  a  fine  series  of  walks  wind- 
ing in  and  out  about  the  hill  along  the  sides  and 
at  the  foot  of  which  Hong  Kong  proper  is  built. 
When  Great  Britain  grabs  a  piece  of  real  estate 
she  generally  displays  good  taste.  Hong  Kong  is 
as  handsome  a  piece  as  could  be  found  anywhere 
for  the  purpose  of  showing  off  a  city. 

In  a  suburban  tram-car  in  London  that  I  once 
got  into,  the  seats  were  all  full  except  one — a 
vacant  place.  A  man,  very  drunk,  hanging  to  a 
strap  tried  to  sit  down.  Another  man,  not  relishing 
a  beery  companion,  spread  himself  all  over  the 
232 


A   PARTING   GLIMPSE    OF    CHINA 

seat.  The  "jag"  steadied  himself,  pulled  himself 
together  and  asked  the  man  to  "move  up."  He  re- 
fused. ' '  You  're  drunk ! ' '  said  he.  « '  That  'a  right ! ' ' 
replied  the  "jag,"  with  some  difficulty,  "I'm— hie 
— drunk,  but  I'll  get  over  it.  You're  a — hie — hog, 
but  you'll  never  get  over  it." 

The  view  from  Hong  Kong  is  extended  and  un- 
usually beautiful,  but  I  was  glad  I  did  not  live  up 
there  and  have  to  use  the  cable-tram  every  day, 
for  it  is  a  rather  harrowing  experience,  the  grade 
is  so  steep,  and  an  unpleasant  buzzing  like  the 
pressure  of  water  is  left  in  one's  ears  for  -a  long 
time  afterward. 

The  houses  and  buildings  on  the  peak  were  all 
built  from  material  that  was  carried  up  by  coolies, 
a  great  number  of  them  women.  They  received 
pitiful  wages,  and  it  was  cheaper  to  have  them  carry 
the  material  up  than  to  send  it  up  by  the  tram.  Be- 
ing an  English  possession,  Hong  Kong  is  essentially 
an  English  city.  Some  years  ago,  when  Great  Britain 
and  China  fell  to  fighting  over  the  opium  trade, 
China  got  the  worst  of  it,  and  the  English  got 
Hong  Kong.  They  immediately  proceeded  to  re- 
construct it  according  to  approved  English  meth- 
ods. They  even  gave  it  an  English  name,  Victoria, 
by  which  it  is  called  and  known  in  government 
circles,  but  the  good  old  Chinese  name  is  preferred 
by  the  masses,  even  English  ship-captains  who 
abound  in  the  port  giving  the  royal  name  the  go- 
233 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

by.  In  methods,  customs  and  sentiment  Hong 
Kong  is  thoroughly  English,  altho  there  are  enough 
resident  Germans  to  support  a  fine  club. 

Americans  are  greatly  in  the  minority  in  Hong 
Kong  and  inclined  to  keep  to  themselves  for  many 
reasons.  To  American  people  who  contemplate  a 
visit  to  the  Far  East  a  word  of  warning  in  regard 
to  Hong  Kong  will  not  be  amiss,  for  while  it  may 
not  help  matters,  they  would  at  least  in  some  meas- 
ure be  prepared  for  the  hold-up  they  will  encoun- 
ter there. 

In  the  first  place,  no  more  unwelcome  visitor  can 
go  to  Hong  Kong  than  an  American,  and  he  is 
looked  upon  as  fair  game.  The  hotel  is,  without 
exception,  the  worst  in  the  East  and  charges  the 
most  exorbitant  prices.  The  only  thing  lacking  in 
the  make-up  of  these  prices  is  a  black  mask  and 
a  pistol. 

The  manager,  recently  a  steward  on  one  of  the 
P.  &  0.  steamers,  acknowledges  that  the  hotel  was  a 
failure  with  stock  selling  at  about  eight  dollars  a 
share,  until  about  four  years  ago,  when  the  opening 
of  the  Philippines  gave  a  boom  to  business  to  the  ex- 
tent that  there  has  not  been  a  vacant  room  since, 
and  the  stock,  if  it  can  be  bought  at  all,  has  ad- 
vanced to  par.  Yet  in  spite  of  this,  Americans  are 
unwelcome  and  treated  with  scant  courtesy. 

A  feature  of  the  town  are  the  sedan-chairs.  There 
are  no  horses,  with  the  exception  of  polo  ponies, 
234 


A   PARTING   GLIMPSE    OF    CHINA 

but  they  are  never  driven,  driving  being  impossi- 
ble up  and  down  the  dizzy  slopes.  It  is  just  as 
much  out  of  the  question  for  'rickshas,  which  are 
only  used  in  the  level  part  of  the  city  along  the 
water-front.  There  is  also  an  electric  trolley  that 
runs  through  this  part  of  the  town.  Chairs,  how- 
ever, reign  supreme  on  the  mountain.  They  are 
very  comfortable,  being  for  the  most  part  like  rat- 
tan armchairs,  with  carrying  poles  laid  on  the 
shoulders  of  two,  or  four,  stout  coolies.  It  is  really 
very  pleasant  to  go  swaying  along  up  and  down 
steps  as  easily  as  on  the  sloping  path. 

We  were  so  fortunate  as  to  see  something  of  the 
inner  social  life  of  the  Chinese  through  the  cour- 
tesy of  Mr.  Thomas  McAran  of  Hong  Kong,  who 
introduced  me  to  Mr.  Wei  Yuk,  a  prominent  banker 
and  one  of  the  two  Chinese  members  of  the  English 
Board  of  Governors  of  Hong  Kong.  Mr.  McAran 
very  kindly  took  me  to  call  on  the  banker,  and  that 
evening  a  coolie  brought  a  beautifully  engraved 
invitation  from  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Wei  Yuk  requesting 
the  pleasure  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  M.  P.  W.'s  company 
at  dinner  the  next  evening. 

Of  course  we  accepted,  as  it  was  a  rare  opportu- 
nity to  see  the  real  thing  in  Chinese  swelldom. 
The  occasion  was  a  beautiful  affair.  I  look  upon 
it  as  one  of  the  most  interesting  episodes  I  have 
the  pleasure  of  remembering.  Of  course,  we  put 
on  our  best  bib  and  tucker,  and  were  carried  up 
235 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

the  steep  peak  in  chairs  on  coolies'  shoulders  to  the 
fashionable  residential  part  of  the  city  to  Mr.  Wei 
Yuk's  handsome  marble  residence  (to  say  palace 
would  be  no  misnomer),  which  is  called  Braeside. 
The  explanation  for  this  name  is  that  Mr.  Wei 
Yuk  learned  his  English  (which  he  speaks  exqui- 
sitely) in  Edinburgh,  from  whose  university  he  was 
graduated,  having  been  the  first  Chinese  child  ever 
sent  out  of  China  to  be  educated.  His  house  is  very 
English  in  its  appointments,  and  there  are  apart- 
ments truly  Chinese,  but  we  saw  only  the  drawing- 
and  dining-room,  which  were  very  English  indeed. 
There  were  present  besides  the  host  and  hostess 
their  two  daughters,  two  sons,  a  niece,  Mrs.  Wei 
Yuk's  brother  and  brother-in-law,  and  a  few  Eng- 
lish and  Americans.  Mrs.  Wei  Yuk  spoke  no  Eng- 
lish, but  was  very  gracious  and  charming  and  en- 
tirely without  the  reserve  I  had  expected  to  find 
in  a  native  Chinese. 

Mr.  McAran  told  me  our  hostess  was  an  example 
of  the  highest  type  of  Chinese  lady.  She  was  a 
large  woman,  tall  and  stout,  and  her  feet,  about 
four  inches  long  and  two  wide,  were  encased  in 
little  satin  shoes  of  a  color  that  ladies  would  call 
cerise,  and  embroidered  and  sewed  with  seed-pearls. 
I  will  endeavor  to  make  my  description  of  the  rest 
of  her  costume  intelligible  to  my  lady  readers. 

She  wore  as  a  principal  garment  a  long  jacket 
of  plum-colored  brocade,  beautifully  embroidered 
236 


Residence  of  a  Chinese  Gentleman 

Chinese  Junks  and  a  Pagoda 
On  a  Native  Barrow  A  Street  in  Canton 


A   PARTING   GLIMPSE    OF   CHINA 

about  the  edges,  over  wide  trousers  of  black  satin, 
with  an  embroidered  blue  band  at  the  hem.  Her 
jacket  was  fastened  with  buttons  of  carved  pink 
coral  that  would  have  made  an  American  girl  jump 
out  of  her  shoes  to  possess.  Her  head-dress  was  the 
usual  black  satin  cap  worn  by  Chinese  married 
women  of  every  class,  Marie  Stuart  in  shape,  with- 
out a  crown,  just  a  band,  curving  to  fit  the  head, 
her  beautiful  hair  neatly  coiled  round  and  round. 
This  cap  is  generally  ornamented  according  to  the 
means  of  the  wearer  with  jade  and  pearls.  Our 
hostess  had  the  usual  ornaments,  but  beautifully 
carved  and  set  with  whole  pearls.  Besides  these 
there  was  pinned  in  front  a  diamond  sunburst  much 
bigger  than  the  lady's  little  fist,  and  atop  of  the 
rising  sun  an  enormous  emerald  larger  than  a 
nickel,  surrounded  by  diamonds.  Her  earrings, 
were  diamond  solitaires  as  big  as  marrowfat  peas, 
with  long  pendants  of  jade.  Her  hands  were  cov- 
ered with  rings — circles  of  pearls  and  diamonds. 
In  short,  the  lady  was  what  one  might  call  an  Ori- 
ental flashlight. 

Her  married  daughter  and  little  daughter,  eleven 
years  old,  were  both  in  pink  brocade  with  gorgeous 
pearl  ornaments  and  earrings.  Her  niece  was  in 
white  brocade,  with  ornaments  of  diamonds  and 
jade.  Her  brother-in-law  is  one  of  the  few  million- 
aires in  China,  and  made  his  fortune  in  flour  mills. 
Her  brother,  a  very  much  Europeanized  Chinaman, 
237 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

being  a  graduate  of  Oxford,  had  just  returned  from 
England,  where  he  had  been  living  since  a  child. 
He  was  truly  British  in  clothes,  accent,  and  all, 
even  his  cue  having  been  cut  off.  He  carried  on 
the  conversation  between  us  and  our  hostess,  inter- 
preting for  the  trio. 

The  table  was  beautifully  decorated.  Instead  of 
a  centerpiece  there  were  two  dozen  or  more  small 
silver  vases  scattered  over  the  table,  filled  with  flow- 
ers. The  service  was  certainly  all  that  could  be  de- 
sired, a  Chinese  servant  in  blue  linen  gown  stand- 
ing behind  each  chair. 

The  dinner  was  modified  Chinese  and  very  good. 
With  very  few  exceptions  the  dishes  were  most  pal- 
atable to  Western  taste — and  several,  such  as  roast 
beef  and  fruit  salad,  were  distinctly  European,  It 
was  altogether  a  novel  and  interesting  affair. 


238 


XVII 

CANTON,  AND  TRIP  FROM  HONG  KONG 
TO  CEYLON 

Medieval  City  of  Canton — Chinese  Pagodas  of  A.  D.  1400 — 
Civil  Service  Examinations — Education  the  Only  Patent 
of  Nobility — General  Grant  Most  Honored  American — 
Actors  Outcasts  and  Pariahs — City  of  the  Dead — Sha- 
meen — Macao — Grotto  of  Camoens — Eastern  Monte 
Carlo— Missionaries  Unpopular — Americans  Not — The 
Future  Alone  Can  Tell! — Christmas  Dinner  on  Board 
the  "Prinz  Eitel  Friedrich" — Pooling  for  Presents^ 
Brilliant  and  Beautiful  Table  Decorations — Dinner 
Served  in  Processions — The  Very  Swell  Gravy-Bearer — • 
Songs  of  All  Nations — The  Towering  Christmas  Tree 
and  Its  Presents — Christmas  Day  at  Singapore — A  Hot 
Old  Time,  if  Nothing  Else. 

FROM  Hong  Kong  a  fine  river  steamer,  with 
every  accommodation  that  even  the  most  fas- 
tidious could  desire,  takes  you  to  Canton,  one 
of  the  oldest  and  the  most  characteristically  Chi- 
nese cities  within  reasonable  distance  of  the  coast. 
It  lies  about  a  hundred  miles  up  the  Pearl  River, 
and  the  trip  is  most  interesting.     When  one  sees 
this  old  medieval  city  where  every  custom  in  dress, 
manners,  trade,  and  every  phase  of  life  dates  from 
the  middle  ages;  where  the  six-feet-wide  streets 
239 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

swarm  and  swelter  with  three  million  inhabitants, 
one  feels  that  here  the  heart  of  China  beats. 

Canton,  in  spite  of  its  dirt,  in  spite  of  its  myriad 
and  insistent  smells,  is  fascinating.  The  ordinary 
sights  of  street-life  are  like  a  kaleidoscope  for 
change  and  color.  A  tall  and  stately  pagoda  to  be 
seen  is  the  "flow-ly"  pagoda,  as  your  guide  will 
tell  you.  Another,  known  as  the  five-story  pagoda, 
was  built  in  the  year  1400,  and  stands  at  the  point 
of  the  citadel,  the  culminating  point  of  the  city 
wall,  the  ramparts  of  which  are  decorated  with 
grotesque  little  cannon  of  a  bygone  age,  resting  in 
worm-eaten  and  rotting  wooden  gun-carriages. 

Another  sight  is  Examination  Hall,  an  institution 
peculiarly  Chinese.  Here  are  7,500  cells  in  rows, 
the  fronts  open  to  the  air.  They  are  only  four  feet 
by  three,  and  their  sole  furniture  is  a  couple  of 
boards,  laid  crosswise,  one  for  a  seat  and  the  other 
for  a  writing-desk.  Civil  Service  examinations  here 
take  place  for  the  whole  province.  Students  who 
wish  to  compete  enter  a  cell,  where  they  remain  for 
three  days  and  nights,  absolutely  alone,  guarded  by 
soldiers,  who  see  that  they  have  no  communication 
with  each  other  or  with  any  one  outside. 

The  examination  lasts  nine  days  altogether,  in 
groups  of  three,  with  intervals  of  three  days  in 
between,  when  the  students  may  go  outside.  The 
experience  is  exceedingly  arduous,  for  there  is  no 
opportunity  for  comfortable  sleep,  and  the  tests  are 
240 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

very  severe.  It  is  the  ambition  of  every  man  to  pass 
this  examination  if  he  can.  Some  students  have  been 
known  to  go  there  every  three  years  for  thirty  years 
without  passing.  Out  of  perhaps  six  or  seven  thou- 
sand never  more  than  three  hundred  pass,  and  gen- 
erally a  much  smaller  number. 

A  man  who  passes  is  eligible  for  any  magisterial 
office  in  the  provincial  government.  If  he  is  still 
more  ambitious,  and  can  pass  the  examination  at 
Peking,  he  is  eligible  for  metropolitan  offices.  In 
China  education  is  the  only  patent  of  nobility.  In 
this  respect  it  is  one  of  the  most  democratic  coun- 
tries in  the  world,  for  a  man  may  rise  from  the  low- 
est rank  to  a  high  position. 

In  some  little  village  where  there  is  found  a  boy 
of  exceptional  promise,  every  person  in  the  village 
will  deny  himself  to  contribute  toward  his  educa- 
tion. Chinese  villages  are  generally  composed  of 
people  who  all  have  the  same  surname,  and  are 
therefore  claimed  as  of  one  family.  All  are  de- 
voted unselfishly,  heart  and  soul,  to  the  advance- 
ment of  one  of  their  members.  If  the  boy  passes  the 
local  examination,  he  is  then  prepared  for  the 
higher  one  in  the  head  city  of  his  province.  Should 
he  pass  this,  and  /then  the  highest  one  in  Peking, 
he  is  endowed  with  the  right  to  hold  any  high  office 
— a  right  such  as  birth  could  never  give  him.  He  is 
never  looked  down  upon  for  his  humble  birth,  but 
rather  lauded  for  ability  to  rise  above  it.  General 
241 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

Grant  is  the  American  whom  the  Chinese  have 
elected  to  honor  and  admire  most,  and  their  par- 
ticular reason  for  commendation  is  the  fact  that  he 
rose  from  the  people. 

Only  three  castes  are  excluded  from  competing 
in  the  examinations — barbers,  actors  and  chiropo- 
dists, who  are  prohibited  from  most  things,  as  well 
as  their  descendants,  for  three  generations.  There 
is  thus  a  vast  difference  between  the  English  and 
American  actors  and  the  Chinese  Thespian,  who  is 
an  outcast  and  pariah  forever. 

The  civil  rank,  for  which  the  examination  fits  a 
man,  is  the  highest  in  China,  the  army  and  navy 
next,  and  the  merchant  the  lowest  of  all.  But  first 
and  foremost  among  them  all  is  the  farmer,  for  in 
Chinese  estimation  who  so  worthy  of  commendation 
as  the  man  who  produces  food  ? 

In  Canton  there  is  a  building,  or  collection  of 
buildings,  known  as  the  City  of  the  Dead.  It  is  a 
succession  of  courts,  one  leading  into  the  other,  and 
lined  with  rooms,  the  fronts  being  entirely  open. 
The  Chinese  seldom  bury  their  dead,  having  a  pref- 
erence for  building  little  tombs  over  the  coffins 
above  the  ground. 

This  building  in  Canton  expresses  the  same  idea 
on  a  larger  scale,  for  each  room  is  practically  a 
tomb.  The  coffin  is  laid  on  a  pair  of  trestles  at  the 
back  of  the  room,  and  usually  shaded  by  a  curtain. 
In  front  of  this  is  a  chair,  on  which  a  tablet  com- 
242 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

memorating  the  dead  person  is  placed.  In  front  of 
the  chair  is  a  table  with  three  large  candlesticks, 
flower-vases,  offerings  to  the  spirit  of  the  departed, 
consisting  of  flowers  and  fruit  in  little  dishes,  and 
a  cup  of  tea  which  is  placed  there  fresh  every  day 
by  devoted  relatives  and  descendants. 

These  rooms  and  their  appointments  vary  in  rich- 
ness according  to  the  rank  of  the  dead.  In  one 
small  and  mean  room  we  saw  a  magnificent  lacquer 
coffin  that  had  cost  originally  three  thousand  dol- 
lars and  in  which  rested  the  wife  of  a  former  vice- 
roy, whose  descendants  had  become  too  poor  to  pay 
the  room-rent.  The  keepers  had  therefore  put  the 
coffin  into  a  small  room,  in  order  to  rent  for  a  good 
price  the  large  and  ornate  one  it  had  formerly  occu- 
pied, but  they  could  not  put  the  coffin  out  of  the 
building  on  account  of  the  exalted  rank  its  occu- 
pant had  once  held. 

On  the  walls  of  some  of  the  rooms  were  long 
pieces  of  rice-paper  with  printed  tributes  to  the 
virtues  and  high  qualities  of  the  occupants,  hung 
there  by  admiring  and  sorrowing  friends.  In  one 
room  these  testimonials  were  further  augmented  by 
a  gorgeous  testimonial  painted  on  the  wall.  Here 
the  tenant,  having  attained  the  venerable  age  of  one 
hundred  and  four  years,  was  worthy  of  every  act 
of  veneration  and  worship,  not  only  from  her  own 
descendants,  but  from  any  chance  passer-by.  The 
only  room  that  was  locked  was  one  in  which  with 
243 


the  tenant  was  her  splendid  and  costly  wardrobe 
preserved  in  a  chest  under  the  coffin. 

The  courts  within  the  building  were  beautifully 
clean,  a  notable  exception  in  Canton,  and  were 
decorated  with  bright  pots  of  growing  chrysanthe- 
mums in  full  bloom.  It  was  not  at  all  a  gloomy  or 
depressing  place  to  visit.  The  sun  was  allowed  to 
enter,  and  the  close  and  personal  association  seem- 
ing to  exist  between  the  dead  and  their  relatives 
took  away  that  feeling  of  remoteness  and  separation 
that  generally  accompanies  death. 

The  foreign  quarter  in  Canton,  known  as  the 
Shameen,  is  a  pretty  little  island,  separated  from 
the  native  city  by  a  thirty-foot  canal,  and  kept  as 
neat  and  bright  with  flowers  and  well-swept  walks 
as  a  private  park.  The  consulates  are  all  here,  as 
well  as  resident  foreigners  who  have  business  in- 
terests in  Canton. 

Another  interesting  trip  from  Hong  Kong  is  to 
the  old  Portuguese  settlement  of  Macao.  Fine  boats 
make  the  trip  in  three  hours.  It  is  a  little  old- 
world  city,  with  a  native  Chinese  city  at  its  feet. 
It  has  pretty  walks  along  the  sea,  and  plenty  of 
churches  and  priests,  for  it  is  essentially  a  mission 
settlement.  At  a  high  point  stands  the  imposing 
ruin  of  St.  Paul's  Church,  which  was  destroyed  by 
a  typhoon  in  1674,  and  has  never  since  been  rebuilt. 

One  of  the  principal  places  of  interest  is  the  gar- 
den and  grotto  of  Camoens,  the  great  Portuguese 
244 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

poet,  who  wrote  one  of  his  poems  in  this  little  rocky 
grotto  while  on  a  visit  to  Macao. 

Gambling  prevails  everywhere,  for  it  is  not  pro- 
hibited, as  in  Hong  Kong.  One  gambling-house 
after  another  is  ranged  along  the  streets  with 
crowds  of  Chinamen  clustered  about  tables  where 
the  game  of  fan-tan  is  in  progress.  Those  who 
can  not  get  near  the  table  lean  from  a  balcony  over- 
head and  let  down  their  money  in  little  baskets  on 
the  end  of  strings. 

A  lottery  is  also  in  operation  at  Macao,  and  ap- 
parently it  is  a  lucrative  enterprise.  About  eighty 
per  cent,  of  the  government  revenues  are  derived 
from  gambling  monopolies  and  the  lottery.  These 
enormous  returns  not  only  support  Macao,  but  re- 
vert in  part  to  the  home  government  at  Lisbon.  In 
Portugal  and  her  colonies  the  Church  is  on  the 
government  pay-roll,  so  that  in  Macao  the  Church 
and  missions  are  supported  by  the  lottery  and 
gambling-houses. 

These  Catholic  missions  from  Portugal,  as  well  as 
those  from  France  and  Germany,  seem  to  be  suc- 
cessful in  converting  the  Chinese.  It  is  only  a 
short  step  from  the  Buddhist  to  the  Catholic  Church 
in  the  matter  of  ceremony  and  altar  decorations,  for 
these  are  about  all  that  appeals  in  either  Church  to 
the  average  Chinese.  There  are  many  other  points 
of  similarity.  For  instance,  both  Churches  have 
priests  with  gowns  and  shaven  heads.  Both  have 
245 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE    WORLD 

candles  burning  on  the  altar  and  incense.  In  the 
Buddhist  temple  are  images  of  Buddha  and  the 
Goddess  of  Mercy,  corresponding  to  Christ  and  the 
Madonna,  and  Buddhists  recite  their  prayers  with 
rosaries. 

It  is  hard  to  convert  a  believer  in  Confucius, 
especially  if  he  be  an  educated  man,  for  he  not  only 
knows  his  own  religion,  but  very  likely  more  about 
Christianity  than  the  one  who  is  trying  to  convert 
him.  He  will  point  out  weak  places  and  inconsist- 
encies with  an  unerring  finger. 

Missionaries  in  China  are  not  popular,  as  is  gen- 
erally known.  The  reason  for  this  is  not  clearly 
understood  and  possibly  never  could  be  explained 
satisfactorily.  The  Chinese  reasoning  is  many-sided 
and  complex,  but  probably  the  heart  of  the  difficulty 
lies  in  the  fact  that  the  Chinese  are  conservative, 
they  glory  in  knowing  that  they  are  the  oldest  liv- 
ing nation,  save  Egypt,  and  resent  innovations  of 
any  kind. 

Too  many  of  the  missionaries  approach  the  peo- 
ple in  a  way  that  antagonizes  them,  preaching  doc- 
trine rather  than  simple  ethics,  such  as  they  can 
understand.  Then,  too,  many  of  them  take  refuge 
under  their  flag,  whatever  it  may  be,  and  after 
fomenting  some  doctrinal  war  between  two  fac- 
tions appeal  to  justice  in  the  name  of  their  country. 
Reparation  is  made  in  grants  of  land,  when  they 
are  calmed  and  placated;  but  to  the  Chinese  this 
246 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

is  only  one  more  cause  of  resentment  against  them. 
Not  all  are  guilty  of  enmity,  but  the  most  are  not 
discriminating  and  class  all  missionaries  together. 

The  Americans  are  probably  better  liked  in  China 
than  any  other  people.  It  is  well  to  know  that  the 
strongest  reason  for  this  is  because  they  show  no 
disposition  to  preempt  Chinese  territory,  a  com- 
plaint the  Chinese  have  against  almost  every  other 
nation.  It  was  rather  a  blow  to  them  when  Amer- 
ica took  the  Philippines,  for  these  islands  are  un- 
comfortably near  their  country ;  but  when  they  real- 
ized that  the  Americans  seemed  quite  satisfied  and 
not  inclined  to  widen  their  possessions,  moreover  the 
Philippines  being  more  like  a  foundling  left  on  their 
door-step  than  a  desired  territory,  they  recovered 
their  old  trust  and  friendliness. 

Another  strong  bond  between  China  and  Amer- 
ica is  the  fact  that  there  is  a  treaty  to  the  effect 
that  it  shall  be  unlawful  for  any  American  to  traf- 
fic in  opium,  for  the  Chinese  resent  the  importation 
of  the  drug,  tho  they  are  powerless  to  prevent  the 
English  from  doing  so.  They  tried  to  prevent  it 
some  time  ago,  with  the  result  that  they  lost  Hong 
Kong  and  the  English  lion  put  a  paw  on  one  corner 
of  the  Flowery  Kingdom. 

The  Chinese  love  their  country,  and  tho  not  a 

warlike   nation,   they   nevertheless  resent   foreign 

encroachments  with  bitterness.    The  American  idea 

of  staying  at  home  and  minding  one's  own  business 

247 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

in  regard  to  territory  appeals  strongly  to  the 
Celestial. 

They  are  perhaps  the  least  understood  people  in 
the  world,  for  they  are  very  subtle,  and  seldom  let 
their  real  thoughts  and  feelings  be  known.  But 
they  do  appreciate  and  acknowledge  the  fact  that 
America  has  let  them  alone,  and  has  some  regard 
for  them  in  connection  with  the  opium  question. 
The  friendly  relations  between  the  two  nations  have 
existed  longer  probably  than  most  people  know.  An 
American  consulate  was  established  at  Canton  in 
1798. 

If  the  missionaries,  among  whom  some,  with  more 
religious  zeal  than  tact,  are  always  fomenting  dif- 
ficulties, had  not  the  privilege  of  appealing  to  "the 
flag"  and  making  their  little  troubles  international, 
there  would  be  no  reason  for  anything  but  the  most 
friendly  relations  between  America  and  China.  But 
the  future  alone  can  tell  what  may  come. 

The  good  ship  "Prinz  Eitel  Friedrich"  bore  us 
bravely  from  Hong  Kong  on  our  way  to  India's 
coral  strand,  and  also  furnished  an  experience  the 
like  of  which  we  have  known  neither  before  nor 
since.  I  refer  to  the  Christmas  dinner,  which  we 
ate  amid  surroundings  so  truly  novel  as  to  seem 
now  almost  as  the  passing  of  a  dream. 

The  "Eitel  Friedrich"  was  not  merely  a  good, 
stanch  ship,  she  was  a  magnificently  appointed 
steamer ;  in  short,  a  floating  palace,  and  the  dinner 
248 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

which  we  ate,  each  smallest  component  part  thereof, 
from  soup  to  coffee,  was  laid  in  at  Bremen  before 
the  steamer  sailed.  The  splendid  tree,  a  big  green 
fir,  had  been  cut  in  Japan  and  lay  strapped  to  the 
lower  deck,  lest  some  sudden  cataclysm  of  the  ele- 
ments might  roll  it  overboard  and  cheat  us  of  what 
proved  to  be  the  most  enjoyable  part  of  our  Christ- 
mas feast. 

It  was  understood  before  leaving  Hong  Kong  that 
the  most  important  part  of  the  festivities,  i.  e.,  the 
presents,  should  be  purchased  there.  So  a  pool  was 
formed  and  the  presents,  selected  and  purchased  by 
a  person  who  was  detailed  for  the  purpose,  were 
handed  up  the  ship's  side  in  packages  on  the  end 
of  sticks  or  dangling  from  strings,  or  in  small, 
butterfly  nets,  so  that  a  lottery  effect  was  main- 
tained, and  no  one  could  know  what  his  neighbor 
held.  This  mode  of  procedure  provoked  hearty 
laughter  and  much  curiosity  as  to  the  ultimate  fate 
of  the  gifts,  each  one  being  securely  wrapped  until 
the  eventful  day  should  arrive. 

The  24th  of  December  dawned — not,  as  we  should 
say  in  America,  clear  and  cold — but  muggy  and  hot. 
Clothing,  even  of  the  thinnest  sort,  seemed  super- 
fluous ;  exertion,  even  the  mildest,  sent  little  streams 
of  moisture  trickling  down  toward  one 's  shirt-collar. 
But,  never  mind,  it  was  Christmas — dear,  old 
Christmas  Eve,  and  if  we  were  6,000  miles,  more  or 
less,  away  from  home,  we  were  not  going  to  have 
249 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

any  the  less  pleasure  and  happiness.  So  we  donned 
our  bravest  attire  and,  summoned  by  the  bugle, 
made  our  way  with  the  rest  of  the  passengers,  also 
in  full  dress,  to  the  dining-saloon. 

Here  a  scene  of  marvelous  beauty  burst  upon  our 
eyes.  But  don't  ask  me  to  describe  those  tables.  The 
whole  length  of  the  saloon  was  decorated  and  twined 
and  blazoned  with  potted  plants  and  vines,  garlands 
and  flags,  the  whole  being  set  off  by  a  most  in- 
genious and  beautiful  arrangement  of  electric 
lights,  that  peeped  out  from  every  leaf  and  fold  and 
dish,  as  tho  some  fairy  wand  had  touched  them  into 
glittering  wonder.  Little  Swiss  chalets,  set  amid 
snows  of  cotton  and  spangled  ice-fields,  gleamed 
with  lights  in  every  tiny  window;  cascades  ran 
down  through  little  ice-gorges  lit  up  with  firefly 
gleams;  the  hearts  of  Christmas  roses  sent  out 
flashes  of  beauty;  while  at  the  head  of  the  table 
was  a  snow  man  of  lifelike  size  and  proportion, 
whose  smile  was  as  broad  as  his  ample  form.  Truly, 
it  was  a  wonderful  sight. 

And  the  dinner — well,  I  have  eaten  many  din- 
ners and  many  Christmas  dinners,  but  this  was  ab- 
solutely unique.  The  cuisine  of  the  German  steam- 
ers is  world-famed,  and  justly  so.  Another  cele- 
brated line  almost  starves  you  to  death  in  highly 
genteel  manner.  The  insular  exclusiveness  of  this 
ancient  line,  like  that  of  another  much  overrated 
one,  has  wrung  the  stomach  and  bled  the  pocket  of 
250 


CANTON— HONG  KONG  TO  CEYLON 

the  wayfarer  for  nearly  half  a  century;  while  the 
chilly  hauteur  of  its  officers  has  sent  many  a  pas- 
senger to  his  berth  with  a  frigid  heart.  Rudyard 
Kipling  says  that  if  you  want  a  favor  of  one  of 
these  magnates,  you  must  stand  on  your  head  be- 
fore the  chief  officer  and  wave  your  feet  suppli- 
catingly  in  the  air. 

The  serving  of  the  Christmas  dinner  was  truly 
fine.  The  procession  of  waiters  reached  from  the 
dining-table  to  the  kitchen,  and  each  course  was 
brought  in  with  as  much  pomp  as  tho  it  were  a  ban- 
quet to  Old  King  Cole  as  we  see  it  pictured  in  chil- 
dren's holiday  books. 

The  oysters,  soup,  and  fish,  each  had  a  separate 
procession,  and  the  turkey — ah !  that  turkey !  borne 
aloft  on  a  platter,  accompanied  by  all  the  "trim- 
mings," each  with  a  separate  bearer;  while  the 
gravy! — here  words  fail  me.  How  shall  I  describe 
the  gravy-bearer!  A  youth  with  solemn  brow  and 
stately  step,  who  bore  aloft  upon  one  hand  the  dish 
of  gravy  as  tho  it  were  an  offering  to  royalty.  In 
the  matter  of  style,  he  certainly  was  everything  to 
the  gravy! 

With  the  dessert  and  coffee,  song  and  merriment 
burst  forth.  Every  conceivable  Christmas  glee  and 
carol — not  omitting  the  good  old  ' '  Tannenbaum " 
of  the  Vaterland  which  these  German  officers  rolled 
forth  with  a  volume  that  made  the  dishes  dance — 
was  sung.  And  then,  the  tree ! 
251 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

This  gorgeous  piece  of  work  reached  from  the 
floor  up  into  the  ship's  lantern,  which  is  the  nau- 
tical name  for  the  open  dome  that  rises  far  up  al- 
most out  of  sight.  Every  year  the  decorations  are 
brought  out  from  their  storing-place  and  hung  upon 
the  tree,  and  most  gorgeous  are  they  to  behold,  glit- 
tering with  electric  lights  and  swaying  to  and  fro 
with  every  motion  of  the  vessel. 

The  distribution  of  presents  gave  a  jolly  ending 
to  the  evening's  festivity.  Some  people  got  the  very 
presents  they  had  bought  in  contributing  to  the 
pool,  but  they  enjoyed  them  just  as  much.  One  of 
ours  was  a  handsome  silver  spoon  engraved  with 
Chinese  characters  similar  to  those  on  the  cane 
which  was  presented  to  me  by  Mr.  Wei  Yuk  in 
Hong  Kong,  and  which  mean  ' '  long  life  and  happi- 
ness," or  something  to  that  effect. 

The  next  day  we  arrived  at  Singapore,  and  it 
was  with  indescribable  feelings  that  I  stept  ashore 
in  a  glare  of  tropic  sunlight,  saying  to  myself, 
" Christmas  Day!  it  is  impossible — I  can  not  be- 
lieve it ! "  But  it  was ;  and  I  smiled  as  I  said  to  a 
friend,  "Well,  we're  certainly  in  for  a  hot  old  time, 
all  right,  if  nothing  else ! ' ' 


252 


XVIII 
SINGAPORE 

The  White  Man's  Grave — Innovations  and  Improvements — 
Stigma  Eemoved — Picturesque  Crowd  on  Wharf — Na- 
tives of  Madras  Coast — Malays  Dislike  Work — The 
Sarong  and  Fez — We  Drive  Up  to  the  Town  in  a  Ghar- 
ry— Ponies  Are  Like  Dogs — Rubbed  Down  with  a  Eag — 
Shrieking  for  Two  Dollars  an  Hour — Baffles  Hotel  and 
Baffles  Square — Sir  Stanford  Baffles,  Who  Secured  Sin- 
gapore for  England — An  Enthusiastic  Collector  of  Native 
Flora  and  Fauna — The  Blow  that  Deprived  Him  of 
Wife  and  Children  as  Well  as  His  Marvelous  Collection 
— Botanical  Garden — Chinamen  Outnumber  Entire  Cos- 
mopolitan Population — Fill  the  Offices  and  Become 
Thoroughly  English — Gorgeous  'Bickshas — Paid  in  Bice 
— Opium  Trade  Flourishes — Secret  Societies — Penang. 

SINGAPORE  has  been  called  "the  white  man's 
grave"    by    conservative    foreigners    (espe- 
cially of  British  extraction)  who  seldom,  if 
ever,  leave  their  native  shores.     But  time's  lapses 
and  the  constant  innovations  and  improvements  by 
outside  encroachment  have  in  great  measure  re- 
moved this  stigma  or  caused  it  to  be  forgotten — at 
least  by  men  of  the  present  generation. 

The  city,  as  we  approached  it,  bore  no  evidence 
of  deadly  climatic  influences.    On  the  contrary,  a 
253 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

picturesque  crowd  loomed  up  on  the  wharf,  com- 
posed chiefly  of  tall,  thin  Indians,  natives,  for  the 
most  part,  of  the  Madras  coast,  dark  of  skin  and 
clothed  in  the  most  motley  collection  of  rags  to  be 
found  outside  of  a  paper  factory.  These  were 
wrapped  round  them  as  skirts,  or  twisted  about 
their  heads  as  turbans.  The  native  Malays  are  there, 
also,  but  in  lesser  numbers,  for  the  majority  on  the 
wharf  are  stevedores,  and  the  Malay  has  an  espe- 
cial aversion  to  work. 

The  Malay  is  clothed  in  a  sarong,  or  skirt,  of  flow- 
ered muslin,  made  in  Java,  and  may  be  further 
distinguished  from  the  Indians  by  wearing  a  fez  or 
small  cap  in  place  of  the  turban.  This  is  because 
they  are  all  Mohammedans,  and  a  law  of  their  faith 
forbids  the  wearing  of  any  head-gear  that  prevents 
their  touching  the  ground  with  their  foreheads. 

From  the  wharf  it  is  a  long  drive  up  to  the  town, 
a  trip  taken  in  a  vehicle  called  a  gharry,  a  square- 
bodied  little  affair,  with  room  inside  for  four  pas- 
sengers, and  enclosed  with  blinds  and  gorgeous  red- 
and-blue  glass  windows. 

The  driver,  usually  an  Indian  in  gay  rags  and  a 
turban,  crouches  on  a  tiny  seat,  like  a  four-legged 
stool,  perched  somewhere  between  the  dashboard 
and  the  whiffletree.  These  rattling  conveyances  are 
drawn  by  tiny  ponies  hardly  larger  than  dogs,  that 
are  either  dejected  and  tortoise-like,  or  opinionated 
and  obstinate.  On  the  whole,  the  drivers  are  rather 
254 


SINGAPORE 

kind  to  them.  When  they  stop  they  rub  them  down 
with  bits  of  rag,  and  give  them  a  handful  of  grass 
from  a  bag  tied  at  the  back  of  the  gharry.  The 
drivers  are  never  satisfied  with  their  fare  and,  no 
matter  what  is  given  them,  always  shriek  for  more. 
They  are  perfectly  brazen  in  this,  and  while  thrust- 
ing their  list  of  authorized  fares  under  your  nose, 
that  plainly  calls  for  forty  cents  an  hour,  they  will 
demand  two  dollars  for  an  hour  and  three-quarters, 
calling  on  heaven  to  witness  that  they  have  been 
twenty  miles,  are  poor,  and  must  have  two  dollars. 

The  principal  interest  in  landing  passengers 
seems  to  center  about  the  Baffles  Hotel.  We  had 
wondered  why  it  bore  that  name,  and  after  lunch 
decided  that  it  was  because  in  going  there  one 
takes  an  awful  chance.  After  this  meal  we  fled 
back  to  the  bountiful  hospitality  of  the  German 
steamer,  feeling  that  in  nightmares  to  come  we 
should  be  haunted  with  memories  of  that  one  meal. 

There  is  also  a  Raffles  Square  in  Singapore.  Seri- 
ously, the  name  owes  its  origin  to  an  interesting 
man,  Sir  Stanford  Raffles,  who,  after  long  being  a 
resident  of  Penang,  recognized  the  superior  ad- 
vantages of  the  position  of  Singapore,  and  secured 
it  by  treaty  for  the  home  government  from  the  Sul- 
tan of  Johore. 

Sir  Stanford  Raffles  was  an  enthusiastic  collector 
of  native  flora  and  fauna  and  he  arranged  to  take 
his  wonderful  collection,  representing  years  of  la- 
255 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

bor,  back  to  England,  and  with  it  to  found  a  public 
museum  and  garden.  The  night  before  sailing, 
when  everything  was  aboard  the  vessel,  including 
his  family,  the  ship  took  fire  in  the  harbor  and 
burned  to  the  water's  edge.  It  was  a  frightful  blow, 
for  he  lost  his  wife  and  two  children,  and  was 
also  deprived  of  the  fruits  of  the  labor  of  years. 
He  eventually  went  to  England  a  broken-hearted 
man,  where  after  a  time  he  became  interested  in 
founding  a  botanical  garden  in  London.  But  noth- 
ing ever  compensated  or  consoled  him  for  the  terri- 
ble catastrophe  that  had  swept  so  much  from  him 
at  one  fell  blow. 

There  is  a  very  beautiful  botanical  garden  in 
Singapore,  and  one  very  similar  to  it  in  Penang, 
where  not  only  native  flora  are  represented,  but 
specimens  from  all  parts  of  the  world.  In  a  climate 
where  the  thermometer  varies  scarcely  five  degrees 
the  year  around,  standing  well  in  the  80 's — and  it 
rains  every  day — anything  will  grow.  The  damp, 
warm  climate  is  like  a  forcing-house  under  glass. 

The  residences  are  three  miles  from  the  business 
district,  and  each  is  surrounded  by  the  most  luxuri- 
ant of  tropical  foliage.  When  the  business  men  re- 
turn to  their  homes  for  dinner  they  seldom  leave 
them  again,  save  for  some  social  function.  Conse- 
quently the  very  comfortable  club  is  dark  after 
eight  o'clock,  and  the  supposition  is  rife  that  this  is 
because  it  is  unsafe  to  go  out  after  dark  in  Singa- 
256 


SINGAPORE 

pore.  A  resident  of  many  years  assured  me  that 
such  was  not  the  case,  the  real  reason  being  that  it 
is  so  hard  to  return  from  the  residence  portion,  and 
in  such  a  climate  any  extra  exertion  is  shunned. 

The  population  of  Singapore  is  cosmopolitan  in 
the  extreme.  All  the  white  races  are  represented, 
and  from  India  there  are  Madrasis,  Sikhs, 
Tamils,  and  Cingalese,  and  far  outnumbering  all 
these  are  the  ubiquitous  Chinamen,  who  fill  the 
streets,  positions  where  real  work  is  required  being 
invariably  held  by  them.  They  pour  into  Singa- 
pore and  the  Malay  States  at  the  rate  of  200,000  a 
year,  and  becoming  English  subjects,  settle  down 
and  make  use  of  all  the  attendant  privileges.  The 
ones  occupying  the  positions  of  clerks,  and  schroffs 
(and  there  is  no  firm  in  the  East  without  them), 
and  those  who  are  conducting  their  own  business, 
take  advantage  of  the  English  schools  for  their  chil- 
dren, learn  the  English  games  of  cricket  and  lawn- 
tennis,  and  join  the  militia. 

The  Chinese  government  became  alarmed  a  few 
years  ago  at  the  rapidly  increasing  exodus,  and 
asked  that  those  Chinamen  who  had  gone  to  Singa- 
pore should  be  allowed  to  return  when  they  had 
made  their  fortune.  These  propositions  were  met 
with  hilarious  scorn,  the  Chinese  who  had  left  the 
narrow,  unprogressive  ways  of  Mother  China  be- 
h,ind  refusing  to  give  up  their  position  of  English 
subjects  with  its  freedom  and  privileges. 
257 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

The  Chinese  work  in  the  tin  mines,  as  carpenters, 
laborers,  and  'ricksha  coolies.  They  are  the  only 
race  represented  in  this  last-named  employment, 
and  even  with  their  superior  endurance  and  capacity 
for  hard  work  last  only  about  two  years,  developing 
pulmonary  troubles  that  kill  them  very  quickly. 

The  'rickshas  are  very  gorgeous  in  Singapore,  be- 
ing painted  with  golden  birds  and  flowers,  and  hav- 
ing the  shafts  bound  with  silver  or  brass.  There  are 
first-  and  second-class  ones,  something  peculiar  to 
the  place,  and  not  to  be  seen  elsewhere.  They  are 
very  comfortable  and  quite  large  enough  to  hold 
two.  The  coolies  go  stript  to  the  waist,  and  wear 
a  pair  of  little  trunks  about  ten  inches  long. 

The  Malay  refuses  to  perform  any  of  the  tasks 
mentioned,  his  pride  not  permitting  him  to  be  a 
coolie,  and  his  general  laziness  keeping  him  away 
from  the  other  occupations.  The  only  thing  that  a 
Malay  may  be  seen  doing  is  climbing  coconut-trees, 
which  he  does  by  cutting  notches  ahead  of  him  in 
the  trunk.  He  cuts  these  with  a  curved  knife  called 
a  parang;  indeed  he  does  many  things  with  this 
knife — using  it  to  slit  the  leaf  and  let  out  a  thick 
liquid  known  as  the  "toddy,"  from  which  a  very 
strong  spirit  is  made.  This  he  catches  in  a  gourd 
which  his  knife  has  fashioned.  He  cuts  a  way 
through  the  jungle,  divides  his  food,  cuts  sugar- 
cane and  has  been  known  to  sharpen  a  pencil  with 
the  same  instrument.  It  is  also  a  weapon  of  offense 
258 


SINGAPORE 

and  defense,  the  latter  more  necessary  than  might 
be  imagined,  for  there  are  many  wild  animals  in 
the  jungles  of  this  island.  Every  year  at  least  three 
tigers  that  have  come  over  from  the  mainland  are 
killed. 

The  Malays  are  used  as  outside  servants,  such 
as  gardeners,  grooms  and  coachmen,  but  never 
as  house-servants,  the  last-named  always  being 
Chinese. 

The  Chinese  workingman  of  any  sort  always  re- 
ceives as  part  of  his  wages  a  certain  amount  of  rice 
and  opium.  They  take  the  drug  steadily  in  small 
amounts,  but  there  are  no  dens,  and  no  evil  results 
are  apparent. 

Opium  is  imported  from  India  in  great  quanti- 
ties, the  trade  being  entirely  controlled  by  Chinese, 
who  are  known  as  "opium  farmers,"  and  pay  the 
government  an  enormous  amount  for  the  privilege. 
There  are  no  customs  in  Singapore,  and  this  is  the 
only  source  of  revenue.  The  income  depends  on 
the  amount  of  opium  smoked  by  the  Chinese  coo- 
lies ;  so  it  is  quite  certain  there  will  never  be  a  Chi- 
nese exclusion  act  here. 

That  other  passion  of  the  Chinese,  gambling,  is 
forbidden  in  Singapore.  They  used  to  be  able  to 
go  across  the  channel  to  Johore,  and  indulge  in 
their  propensity  for  that  sport,  but  lately  it  has 
been  forbidden  there  also.  Ali  Baker,  Sultan  of  Jo- 
hore, is  a  genial,  easy-going  mortal,  a  well-known 
259 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

figure  in  London,  where  he  spends  much  of  his  time, 
and  is  known  as  Mr.  Baker. 

Another  Chinese  institution  for  some  time  pro- 
hibited by  the  government  are  the  secret  societies, 
that  used  to  be  very  strong  and  have  unlimited  con- 
trol over  their  members.  A  few  are  permitted  still, 
but  they  are  only  those  that  are  essentially  mutual 
benefit  societies.  Some  of  the  strength  that  once 
made  the  principal  society  powerful  remains,  how- 
ever. Members  are  sworn  to  help  one  another.  Pro- 
fessional bailors  are  provided  to  bail  out  any  mem- 
ber who  has  been  apprehended  under  the  law. 
Any  fugitive  fleeing  from  justice  may  place  his 
shoes  at  the  door  of  a  fellow  member,  when,  if  they 
are  put  one  on  top  of  the  other,  he  knows  it  is  a 
sign  that  he  may  take  refuge  there. 

Their  signs  of  recognition  are  governed  by  the 
numeral  three.  Three  glasses  placed  at  table  in  a 
certain  manner  will  declare  one  member  to  another, 
or  a  cup  of  tea  if  passed  while  held  in  three 
fingers.  • 

Penang  has  practically  all  the  leading  character- 
istics of  Singapore,  with  perhaps  the  addition  of  a 
little  more  picturesqueness,  larger  groves  of  the 
stately  coconut-palm,  and  a  more  vivid  showing 
of  color  on  the  wharves,  where  the  stevedores  ap- 
pear to  be  partial  to  red  flannel  shirts.  The  thought 
can  not  be  resisted  that  possibly  these  gorgeous  gar- 
ments found  their  way  to  the  backs  of  these  heathen 
260 


SINGAPORE 

from  societies  of  excellent  ladies,  who  seem  to  think 
that  such  contributions  aid  in  the  spread  of  religion. 
The  varied  and  seething  life  of  these  Straits  Set- 
tlements is  a  fascinating  study,  and  one  deserving 
more  than  a  passing  glance,  which  is  all  I  have  been 
able  to  give  them. 


261 


XIX 
CEYLON:   THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

Only  Gem  of  the  Sea — Gorgeous  Ensemble  of  Color — Dug- 
out Canoes — Black  Tamils — Handsome  and  Commodious 
Hotel — Mr.  Hoffer,  an  Ideal  Hotel  Manager,  Late  of 
the  Cecil,  London — Head  Waiter  "Joseph" — Bathing 
at  Mt.  Lavinia — My  Creole  Friend  of  the  Isle  Bourbon 
— Native  Mountain  His  Sepulcher — Took  American  au 
serieux — ' '  I  Have  Seen  the  Sun  at  Midnight ! ' ' — Giant 
Cat  's-eyes — Snake-Charmers — The  Mongoose — Bullocks 
as  Pets — Cow  is  Sacred — Familiar  Crows — Variety  of 
Native  Life  and  Costume — Cingalese  Disdain  Labor — 
Tea-Growing:  Its  Profits — Buried  Cities  of  Ceylon — 
We  Escape  the  Dreaded  P.  and  O.  and  Embark  on  the 
German  Liner. 

BEAUTEOUS    Ceylon!    the    real    and    only 
"gem  of  the  sea" — and  the  tropic  sea  at 
that.     Let  not  Ireland  claim  the  exclusive 
distinction  of  being  an  emerald  set  in  the  bosom 
of  the  ocean  blue.    For  never  were  such  emerald 
greenness,  such  ocean  blueness  imagined  of  Ire- 
land's  sons   or   daughters   as   adorn   and   encom- 
pass this  beauteous  isle  of  Ceylon.     The  door-sill 
of  India!     Well,  if  India    is    not    proud    of    her 
threshold — the  step  over  which  one  passes  to  her 
mighty  and  imperial  domain — she  ought  to  be. 
262 


CEYLON:    THE    DOOE-SILL    OF    INDIA 

The  first  impression  one  receives  upon  landing 
at  Colombo  is  of  glittering  blue-and-green  goldness. 
I  can  find  no  other  expressions  save  these  of  my 
own  coining.  The  broad  esplanade  leading  to  and 
surrounding  the  huge  pink  sandstone  hotel  is  made 
up  of  golden  sand,  each  speck  and  particle  of  which 
glistens  and  glitters  like  the  virgin  metal  itself. 
The  sky  and  ocean  are  both  of  a  rich  deep  blue, 
indescribably  beautiful ;  while  the  entrancing,  daz- 
zling green  of  the  gracefully  waving  and  bending 
palm-trees  that  fill  in  the  background  and  partly 
surround  the  hotel,  makes  up  an  ensemble  of  color 
which  I  do  not  believe  can  be  equaled  anywhere  else 
in  the  civilized  world. 

The  harbor  of  Colombo  is  plentifully  endowed 
with  natural  advantages,  but  outside  of  these  the 
English  government  has  constructed  an  enormous 
breakwater  of  tremendous  strength,  as  needs  must 
be,  for  during  the  season  of  the  southwest  monsoon 
waves  break  against  it,  dashing  as  high  as  the  masts 
of  vessels  that  have  taken  refuge  behind  its  pro- 
tecting bulwark. 

Colombo  does  not  look  very  imposing  from  the 
water,  as  it  is  so  embowered  in  luxuriant  foliage  as 
to  allow  only  an  occasional  building  to  peep  out. 
Our  attention  upon  entering  the  harbor  is  first  at- 
tracted by  the  fleet  of  native  dugout  canoes  that 
swarm  about  the  ship,  the  boys  and  men  paddling 
them  wildly,  shouting, ' '  Have  a  dive,  have  a  dive ! ' ' 
263 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

and  "One  dollar,  one  dollar!"  tho  if  only  a  penny 
is  thrown  over  three  or  four  will  dive  headlong  from 
their  tiny  crafts,  their  paddles  left  floating  on  the 
water,  and  in  an  incredibly  short  space  of  time  will 
come  again  to  the  surface,  the  successful  one 
proudly  displaying  the  coin!  They  then  rescue 
their  paddles  and  leap  lightly  into  their  canoes 
without  dangerously  tipping  them  or  shipping  any 
more  than  the  usual  amount  of  water  that  floats  in 
the  bottom  of  each.  The  canoes  being  so  small  a 
certain  amount  of  water  is  always  washed  over  the 
sides. 

It  is  amusing  to  see  one  of  these  natives,  naked, 
except  for  a  very  limited  loin-cloth,  sitting  in  the 
bottom  of  his  canoe,  paddling  with  one  hand,  im- 
ploring money  with  the  other,  and  kicking  the  su- 
perfluous water  out  of  the  canoe  with  one  foot. 

Upon  landing  we  are  immediately  struck  by  the 
fact  that  the  'ricksha  coolies,  instead  of  being  the 
ubiquitous  Chinamen,  such  as  we  had  seen  from 
Shanghai  to  Penang,  are  here  lean,  black  Tamils 
from  India,  drest  in  as  scanty  garments  as  possible, 
sometimes  merely  a  tape  around  the  waist,  with  a 
strip  of  cloth  fastened  to  it  at  the  back,  then  passed 
between  the  legs  to  the  tape  in  front,  the  end  hang- 
ing over  several  inches. 

Our  coolies  who  pulled  us  to  the  hotel  stopt  at 
the  gate,  saying  they  were  not  allowed  to  go  inside, 
but  we  had  heard  of  this  trick  and  insisted  upon 
264 


CEYLON:    THE   DOOR-SILL   OF    INDIA 

being  taken  into  the  portico.  After  making  in- 
quiry of  the  door-porter  as  to  their  proper  fare, 
we  paid  them,  only  to  be  met  with  a  storm  of  in- 
dignant protestations.  Only  when  the  money  was 
thrown  at  their  feet  did  they  pick  it  up  and  go. 
This  is  quite  the  usual  proceeding,  no  matter  what 
is  given  them.  It  happens  even  if  they  are  much 
overpaid.  We  found  the  hotel  a  very  handsome 
building,  beautifully  situated  directly  on  the  Indian 
Ocean,  and  surrounded  by  a  grove  of  green  and 
stately  coconut-palms. 

The  sea  with  lazy  white  rollers  and  smooth  beach 
looks  like  an  ideal  place  for  bathing,  but  we 
were  told  that  bathing  was  quite  out  of  the  ques- 
tion, for  any  one  who  attempted  it  would  in  a  very 
short  time  be  either  cut  to  pieces  on  the  sharp 
rocks  just  below  the  surface  or  he  would  be  de- 
voured by  the  sharks  that  inhabit  these  waters  in 
great  numbers.  * 

The  hotel  has  built  for  the  amusement  of  its 
guests  a  large  and  comfortable  swimming-tank,  filled 
with  sea-water  that  is  always  kept  clean  and  new. 
The  hotel  has  every  convenience,  electric  lights  and 
fans,  large,  airy  rooms,  and  an  excellent  table,  when 
one  considers  all  the  limitations  of  Colombo.  Com- 
pared with  the  hotels  of  Hong  Kong  and  Singapore, 
it  was  perfect.  It  is  blest  with  a  splendid  mana- 
ger in  Mr.  Hoffer,  a  genial  and  obliging  man,  late 
of  the  Hotel  Cecil  in  London. 
265 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

The  head  waiter,  Joseph,  was  quite  a  character, 
and  tho  an  East-Indian,  was  a  Christian  and  there- 
fore not  hindered  by  scruples  of  caste  from  contact 
with  all  sorts  and  conditions  of  men.  The  fact  that 
he  was  with  the  Ceylon  exhibit  at  the  Chicago  Ex- 
position was  the  grand  card  with  which  he  im- 
prest Americans.  It  was  rather  odd  to  meet  in 
his  own  country  a  picturesque  Oriental,  in  spotless 
white  with  heavy  gilt  chain  and  a  big  disk,  and 
crowned  with  an  imposing  white  and  gold-striped 
turban,  speaking  familiarly  of  Chicago  and  New 
York.  On  the  disk  that  hung  down  on  Joseph's 
snowy  linen  bosom  were  the  letters  H.  W.,  meaning 
Head  Waiter.  My  suggestion  that  he  must  be  a 
very  bad  dyspeptic  as  he  couldn't  koep  a  thing 
on  his  stomach  except  that  disk  was  a  source  of 
great  amusement  to  him ;  he  seemed  to  derive  pleas- 
ure from  it  for  several  days,  chuckling  over  it  when- 
ever we  entered  the  dining-room. 

Many  castes  wear  their  distinguishing  mark 
painted  on  the  forehead.  One  day  at  table  I  pasted 
a  soda-water  label  on  my  forehead,  saying  it  was 
my  caste  mark.  I  quite  convulsed  Joseph,  but  fear 
the  Cingalese  waiter  was  rather  shocked. 

The  beach  at  Mount  Lavinia,  seven  miles  south 
of  Colombo,  is  an  enchanting  place,  over  whose 
golden  sands  the  yellow  foam  rushes  and  gurgles  to 
the  little  cliff  set  thick  with  a  long  file  of  bending, 
swaying  palms,  some  of  whose  long,  slim  trunks 
266 


CEYLON:    THE    DOOR-SILL    OF    INDIA 

bend  forward  to  the  waves  at  an  angle  of  consid- 
erably more  than  forty-five  degrees.  Here  bathing 
goes  on  at  all  hours.  A  dip  in  the  Indian  Ocean  is 
a  soul-satisfying  experience.  The  water  is  not  only 
warn ;  in  some  places  it  is  actually  hot.  But,  oh,  my ! 
to  lie  and  float  dreamily  in  that  bluest  of  waters, 
with  a  dazzling  greenery  of  palms  to  the  right,  and 
a  panorama  of  sky-line  flecked  with  snowy  cloud- 
fleece  to  the  left,  and  to  breathe  the  gentle,  lullaby 
air  till  you  don't  care  whether  you  float  off  to  the 
equator  or  sink  to  the  bottom — yes,  sharks  or  no 
sharks — that  is  supreme  pleasure. 

I  was  always  a  little  "dopey"  about  the  Indian 
Ocean.  I  once  knew  a  young  fellow,  he  was  a 
French  Creole,  born  in  the  Isle  of  Bourbon,  now 
down  on  the  maps  as  the  Island  of  Reunion.  It  is 
right  in  the  heart  of  the  Indian  Ocean  and  not  far 
from  Madagascar.  The  way  that  fellow  could  reel 
off  yarns  in  Creole  French  and  broken  English 
about  his  natal  isle  would  have  made  George  W. 
Cable,  late  of  New  Orleans,  turn  green  with  envy. 
He  was  a  handsome  chap,  and  sang  divinely;  I 
first  met  him  in  Paris,  where  he  was  singing  small 
parts  at  the  Grand  Opera.  Then  I  ran  across  him 
in  Cairo,  where  he  was  singing  in  the  production,  if 
I  am  not  mistaken,  of  "Aida."  Afterward  he  went 
to  New  York  with  a  company  that  produced  "Gi- 
rofle-Girofla"  at  the  Fourteenth  Street  Theater, 
and  a  very  good  company  it  was.  But,  in  what- 
267 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

ever  clime  I  met  him,  his  theme  was  the  same — his 
beautiful  isle  and  its  beautiful  ocean.  He  would 
talk  for  hours  of  the  "purple  fingers  of  the  dawn 
stealing  up  the  rose-vermilion  sky"  and  the  huge, 
snow-capped  mountain  that  rose  in  the  center  of 
the  island  and  overtopped  the  city — Port  Philip, 
I  think,  was  the  name  of  this  seaport-town  where 
he  was  born. 

Well,  poor  fellow!  that  same  mountain  was  his 
sepulcher,  for  on  his  return  to  Bourbon  a  landslide 
carried  away  one-third  of  the  town  and  buried 
seven  hundred  people  in  the  ruins,  among  whom 
was  my  young  Creole  friend  whom  I  never  saw 
again.  Some  of  his  habits  were  truly  Oriental. 
For  instance,  he^  always  performed  his  ablutions 
kneeling  on  the  floor,  with  a  basin  of  water  be- 
fore him;  and  he  was  always  up  to  see  the  sun 
rise,  no  matter  how  late  he  may  have  gone  to  bed 
the  night  before. 

He  told  many  pretty  stories  of  his  home  and  of 
his  parents,  whose  only  child  he  was — the  Benjamin 
of  their  old  age,  long  hoped  and  prayed  for.  So 
they  named  him,  when  he  did  come,  Desiree  (longed 
for).  He  had  a  string  of  other  names  besides,  but 
I've  forgotten  them.  His  desire  was  to  see  Amer- 
ica and  the  Mississippi,  of  which  he  had  read  won- 
derful things  by  Chateaubriand,  his  favorite  author. 
Fortunately,  the  opera  troupe  went  as  far  South  as 
New  Orleans,  and  there  his  desire  was  gratified.  He 
268 


A  Cingalese  Belle 


Indian  with  Caste  Mark 


The  Calleface  Hotel 
A  Native  Ferry 


CEYLON:    THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

took  everything  in  America  au  serieux,  and  his  ad- 
miration almost  took  the  form  of  awe ;  he  would  as 
soon  have  thought  of  ridiculing  the  Holy  Church 
and  all  the  saints  as  of  ridiculing  anything  Amer- 
ican. As  he  was  of  a  very  happy  disposition,  he 
would  often  hum  little  operatic  snatches  or.  Creole 
melodies  while  jogging  along  in  the  horse-cars ;  this 
was  very  delightful  to  me,  until  some  would-be-wag 
among  his  New  York  friends  told  him  that  he  must 
never  do  that  on  Sundays,  as  the  Americans  were 
very  strict  in  their  religious  observances  and  would 
take  it  as  an  insult  and  probably  resent  it.  Very 
seriously  he  opened  his  handsome  Oriental  eyes  and 
in  tones  of  great  surprise  ejaculated,  as  he  had  done 
for  the  hundredth  time,  ' '  Wonderful  people ! ' ' 

A  little  incident,  while  it  was  very  amusing, 
showed  the  romantic  side  of  his  nature.  The  troupe, 
while  traveling,  stopt  at  a  hotel  in  a  Southern 
city,  where  a  young  lady  guest  attracted  much  at- 
tention by  her  hair,  which  was  not  only  very  thick 
and  heavy,  but  of  a  rich  golden  color.  My  Creole 
friend  was  one  of  the  few  who  had  not  seen  her  and, 
as  it  happened,  no  one  had  spoken  to  him  of  her. 
But  as  he  was  about  to  retire  one  evening,  he 
stept  into  the  corridor  to  say  good  night  to  a 
friend  and  met  her  face  to  face,  followed  by  her 
maid,  just  as  the  bells  of  a  neighboring  church  were 
chiming  the  midnight  hour.  Saluting  the  lady  with 
a  profound  bow,  as  was  his  foreign  custom,  he  was 
269 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

about  to  reenter  his  room  when  the  brilliant  gas- 
light, falling  full  upon  the  lady,  disclosed  the  fact 
that  her  magnificent  hair  was  hanging  loose  about 
her  like  a  mantle  and  every  strand  glittering  like 
a  thread  of  gold.  He  stood  rooted  to  the  spot,  and 
clasping  his  hands,  said  in  tones  of  the  most  fer- 
vent admiration,  "I  have  seen  the  sun  at  mid- 
night!" 

"What  the  deuce  is  the  matter  with  you?"  asked 
his  friend.  "I  have  said  it!"  replied  the  Creole. 
"I  will  return  to  my  country  and  I  will  tell  them 
that  in  this  wonderful  America  I  have  seen  that 
marvelous  sight — the  sun  at  midnight ! ' ' 

It  appeared  that  the  young  lady 's  maid  had  been 
giving  her  mistress'  hair  a  bath,  and  the  two  had 
been  sitting  on  a  rear  balcony  where  the  warm  night- 
breeze  had  dried  the  wonderful  tresses  before  they 
came  in  to  retire.  This  is  why  I  say  that  I  loved 
the  Indian  Ocean  years  before  I  saw  it.  When  now 
I  did  see  it,  it  brought  back  these  memories  of  my 
young  friend,  his  charming  and  ingenuous  nature, 
his  frank  and  honest  heart.  The  sage  and  the  gray- 
beard  may  attract  our  maturer  mind,  but  youth  has 
its  ever-compelling  charm;  therefore,  I  echo  the 
poet's  lines: 

"O  youth,  sweet  youth,  we  love  ye! 
There's  naught  on  earth  above  ye!  " 

In  the  office  of  the  hotel  we  were  importuned  by 
270 


CEYLON:   THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

merchants  of  different  sorts  to  patronize  their  shops 
in  the  hotel  arcade.  The  first  was  a  jewel  merchant, 
of  whom  there  are  many  in  Colombo.  Their  array 
was  really  dazzling,  and  it  was  rather  startling  to 
find  this  particular  one,  a  barefooted  Mohammed- 
an, drest  as  he  was  in  a  striped  calico  skirt  and  an 
old  khaki  coat,  carelessly  dangling  in  his  hands 
an  almost  priceless  ruby  and  diamond  necklace, 
and  to  find  that  besides  many  beautiful  jewels  he 
was  the  owner  of  the  "King"  and  "Queen,"  the 
two  largest  cat's-eyes  in  Ceylon,  possibly  in  the 
world.  He  took  them  from  a  safe,  where  they  were 
snugly  packed  in  cotton  in  a  gold  casket  about  five 
by  four  inches  in  size,  the  casket  being  of  native 
workmanship,  thickly  studded  with  cabachon  ru- 
bies, sapphires  and  pearls.  The  box,  in  our  estima- 
tion, was  far  more  beautiful  than  the  cat's-eyes, 
which,  tho  very  large,  the  "King"  being  over  an 
inch  long,  were  of  a  dull  unpleasant  green,  with  a 
sullen  light  in  the  center. 

The  merchant  dealing  in  Ceylon  curios  had  an 
attractive  display,  the  smallest  part  of  which  was 
native.  His  beautiful  carvings,  embroideries  and 
silks  had  been  imported  from  Japan,  China  and 
India. 

The  high  temperature  sends  visitors  quickly  to 
the  tailor  to  order  duck  suits,  which  can  be  bought, 
specially  made  and  fitted,  for  about  $1.60. 

Our  attention  was  attracted  by  a  shrill  screeching 
271 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

pipe,  blown  by  an  Indian  fakir  squatting  in  the 
drive  below  the  veranda,  while  a  big  cobra,  its  hood 
spread,  lifted  its  swaying  head  and  gazed  disdain- 
fully around  with  dull,  wicked  eyes. 

Another  fakir  was  displaying  the  trick  of  making 
the  mango-tree  grow,  while  still  another  was  palm- 
ing coins,  a  small  native  doll  that  he  manipulated 
a  great  deal  taking  the  place  of  the  white  magician 's 
wand,  to  distract  attention.  All  these  tricks  were 
badly  and  clumsily  executed,  and  our  estimation 
of  the  famed  Indian  fakirs  fell  accordingly. 

But  a  most  interesting  performance  was  given  by 
an  Indian  with  a  little  mongoose,  the  hereditary 
enemy  of  the  snake.  Any  one  who  has  read  Kip- 
ling's delightful  story  of  "Riki-tiki-tavi"  could 
not  fail  to  be  interested  in  this  little  animal.  The 
man  offers  to  sell  to  a  spectator  one  of  the  snakes 
he  has  in  a  basket  and  then  have  the  mongoose  kill 
it.  A  small  snake  is  sold  for  ten  cents,  about  three 
cents  American  money,  while  for  larger  ones  the 
prices  range  from  one  to  ten  rupees.  The  rupee  is 
worth  about  thirty-three  cents  American  money. 

When  the  snake  is  put  on  the  ground  the  little 
mongoose  begins  to  prance  and  rock  from  side  to 
side.  Its  eyes  turn  red  with  the  light  of  battle  and 
its  teeth  chatter  savagely.  Loosened  from  the  re- 
straining cord,  it  pounces  with  lightning  rapidity 
on  to  the  snake,  and  catching  it  just  back  of  the 
head  with  its  little  sharp  teeth,  shakes  and  batters 
272 


CEYLON:    THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

the  squirming  thing  as  a  terrier  shakes  a  rat,  until 
it  becomes  lifeless.  These  performances  are  often 
very  tame  for  the  reason  that  the  mongoose  is  not 
allowed  to  kill  a  snake  completely,  the  half-dead 
and  torpid  thing  being  used  several  times,  and  thus 
sold  over  and  over  again. 

The  mongoose  is  treated  as  a  great  pet  by  its 
owner,  being  carried  about  in  a  bag,  or  in  the  front 
of  the  man's  shirt,  from  which  its  knowing  little 
head  peeps  out  saucily.  It  has  a  cord  about  its 
neck,  and  when  put  down  to  the  ground  will  follow 
like  a  dog.  It  looks  like  a  very  large  gray  squirrel, 
the  head,  particularly,  being  similar. 

While  on  the  veranda  watching  these  various 
entertainments  we  saw  our  baggage  approaching. 
It  was  piled  on  a  heavy  creaking  two-wheeled  cart, 
having  a  cover  of  palm-thatch  like  an  old-fashioned 
Shaker  bonnet,  and  pulled  by  big  white  sacred 
bulls,  stately,  slow-stepping  animals,  with  huge 
straight  horns,  humps  on  their  shoulders  and  ex- 
pressions of  mild  intelligence. 

Cattle  are  used  extensively  in  Ceylon  for  all  sorts 
of  vehicles.  The  public  hacks  of  the  second  and 
third  class,  patronized  principally  by  natives,  are 
light  covered  carts  drawn  by  little  trotting  bullocks. 
These  are  very  small,  generally  black  or  brown, 
their  skins  brocaded  in  a  variety  of  patterns,  having 
been  burned  when  they  were  calves.  This  is  the 
custom  with  all  the  cattle,  large  or  small.  Small 
273 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

ones  are  bred  for  trotting  and  can  get  over  the 
ground  at  a  surprising  pace. 

Some  Europeans  keep  them  for  their  children, 
and  hitched  to  pretty  little  covered  carts,  they  take 
the  place  of  the  pony-and-governess  cart  of  the 
Western  world.  Some  little  girls  with  a  governess 
called  at  our  hotel  in  a  private  bullock  cart,  the 
brightly  clad  Indian  driver  seated  on  the  shaft. 
When  the  children  went  out  after  their  call  they 
carest  and  petted  their  little  bull,  lavishing  en- 
dearments upon  him,  which  he  accepted  compla- 
cently, if  indifferently.  Some  of  the  natives  have 
racing  bulls  of  exceptional  swiftness,  and  have  ex- 
citing contests  of  speed,  racing  their  animals  hitched 
to  very  light  two-wheeled  carts.  All  the  cattle  are 
hitched  with  a  yoke,  and  guided  by  ropes  passed 
through  their  nostrils.  The  cow  is  sacred,  and  is 
never  killed.  When  one  dies  no  one  disturbs  her 
peace ;  she  is  left  to  lie  until  some  protesting  Euro- 
pean has  her  buried  by  the  town. 

Not  the  least  interesting  of  the  population  of  Co- 
lombo in  point  of  numbers  and  noises  are  the  small 
black  crows  that  flock  everywhere.  They  adorn 
every  lamp-post,  fence,  roof,  flagstaff,  tree  and 
statue;  every  lawn  is  dotted  with  them,  and  their 
cawing  is  incessant  from  ' '  morn  till  dewy  eve. ' '  At 
first  this  is  rather  annoying,  but  one  soon  grows  ac- 
customed to  it,  and  hardly  notices  it  after  a  short 
274 


CEYLON:   THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

time.  The  natives  are  very  careless  in  regard  to 
refuse  and  crows  are  excellent  scavengers.  That  is 
why  they  are  tolerated  and  wax  so  bold  and  impu- 
dent. They  seem  to  have  no  fear  of  man,  nor  of 
beast  either,  apparently ;  we  saw  two  of  them  alight 
on  the  back  and  head  of  a  small  black  bullock  that 
was  standing  under  a  tree,  and  after  preening  them- 
selves  and  -holding  a  lengthy  conversation,  they 
flew  away.  The  bullock  was  evidently  used  to  such 
familiar  proceedings,  for  he  never  noticed  their 
arrival  or  departure  with  so  much  as  a  wink  of  his 
eyelids,  but  went  on  contentedly  chewing  his  cud. 

These  crows  are  smaller  than  the  American  va- 
riety, and  have  a  beautiful  peacock  sheen  on  their 
necks.  They  have  a  remarkable  faculty  in  tracing 
out  anything  good  to  eat,  no  matter  how  small,  and 
will  squabble  viciously  over  a  tiny  scrap.  We  saw 
a  vender  of  fruit  and  sweetmeats  put  his  basket 
down  on  the  sidewalk  while  he  entered  a  shop.  Al- 
most instantly  it  was  surrounded  by  about  a  dozen 
crows.  The  man  rushed  out  shouting,  but  instead 
of  flying  away  in  a  panic,  as  any  well-conducted 
birds  should,  they  merely  retreated  with  their 
funny  galloping  sidestep  for  about  six  feet,  and 
then  sat  down  and  swore  at  him.  Beyond  question, 
they  are  demons — black  demons,  absolutely  with- 
out manners  or  morals. 

In  a  drive  about  Colombo  we  noticed  in  the  com- 
pounds of  many  residences  that  the  coconut-palms 
275 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE  WORLD 

were  bound  half-way  up  the  trunk  with  dry  palm- 
leaves,  and  learned  that  this  was  done  to  prevent 
thieves  from  climbing  up  and  stealing  the  coco- 
nuts, as  the  crackling  of  the  dry  leaves  would  be- 
tray them. 

During  such  a  drive  one  becomes  quite  bewil- 
dered by  the  variety  of  native  life  seen,  the  cos- 
tumes, or  in  many  cases  the  lack  of  them,  and  the 
diversity  of  color,  decoration  and  ornament,  that 
seem  to  the  uninformed  merely  the  result  of  chance 
or  taste,  but  to  those  who  know  they  are  distinguish- 
ing marks  of  caste  or  race,  and  are  signs' to  be  read 
and  interpreted  as  easily  as  the  symbols  of  heraldry. 

Here  may  be  seen  a  Buddhist  priest  with  shaven 
head  and  flowing  sulfur-yellow  robes,  with  an 
acolyte  following  him  and  carrying  a  large  fan  or 
umbrella.  A  lean  black  Tamil,  with  scanty  white 
loin-cloth,  is  followed  by  a  Mohammedan  in  a  high 
cap  of  woven  colors  that  looks  like  beadwork. 

I  asked  one  of  them  if  he  would  sell  me  his  cap, 
and  he  said  he  would  for  fifty  rupees.  I  told  him 
I  would  pay  that  if  he  would  sell  his  whiskers  with 
it,  a  suggestion  that  at  first  filled  him  with 
astonishment,  and  then  doubled  him  up  with 
laughter. 

The  Cingalese  may  be  readily  recognized  by  their 
long  petticoats,  long  hair  done  up  in  a  neat  little 
knot  at  the  back  of  their  heads,  and  the  semicircu- 
lar tortoise-shell  combs  worn  like  a  diadem  around 
276 


CEYLON:    THE    DOOR-SILL    OF    INDIA 

the  back  of  the  head.  Cingalese  women  wear  funny 
little  short-waisted  white  sacks,  fitted  in  nicely  with 
darts,  but  leaving  a  strip  of  brown  skin  between  them 
and  the  top  of  the  skirt.  They  do  not  wear  combs 
like  the  men,  but  heavy  earrings  and  hair  orna- 
ments, and  about  their  necks  gold  beads  of  beauti- 
ful workmanship,  often  filigree,  which  cover  an 
inside  bead  of  carnelian.  Uncut  matrix  turquoises 
are  also  popular,  and  strings  of  tiny  pearls  no  lar- 
ger than  mustard-seeds. 

Tamil  women  are  wrapt  gracefully  in  lengths 
of  bright  calico  that  cover  them  modestly,  leaving 
one  arm  and  shoulder  bare.  They  wear  heavy  or- 
naments of  silver;  earrings,  nose-studs,  necklaces, 
rings  on  fingers  and  toes,  bracelets  and  anklets. 

The  little  boys  go  about  free  from  care  and  cloth- 
ing, with  a  silver  chain  about  their  waists,  from 
which  dangles  a  silver,  sometimes  a  jeweled,  orna- 
ment, in  lieu  of  a  fig-leaf.  These  are  the  children 
of  well-to-do  parents,  and  the  ornaments  proclaim 
that  their  lack  of  clothing  is  from  choice,  not  from 
poverty. 

There  are  numberless  castes  among  both  Cinga- 
lese and  Indians,  the  highest  in  Ceylon  being  the 
thief  caste,  which,  while  it  does  not  hesitate  to  steal, 
will  honorably  pay  its  own  debts  and  those  of  its 
relatives.  The  lowest  and  most  despised  caste  is 
the  shoemaker's — because  he  works  on  leather  made 
from  the  skin  of  the  sacred  dead  cow. 
277 


SMILING    'BOUND    THE   WORLD 

All  labor  is  performed  by  the  Indians,  the  Cin- 
galese disdaining  any  work  except  to  be  house-serv- 
ants. They  make  fairly  good  ones,  with  a  pretty 
fair  average  of  honesty,  and  as  they  provide  their 
own  food  and  sleep  on  the  floor,  they  do  not  give 
one  much  concern.  If  a  person  traveling  in  Ceylon 
has  a  servant  the  man  will  sleep  outside  the  bed- 
room door,  flat  on  the  floor,  without  pillow  or  blan- 
ket, and  enjoy  deep  and  sweet  repose,  such  as  some 
who  are  couched  on  down  would  give  all  their 
wealth  for.  But  it  is  rather  disconcerting  to  go 
out  of  one's  bedroom,  whether  early  or  late,  and 
just  miss  stepping  on  a  recumbent  figure,  whose 
garments  of  white  look  ghostly  enough  to  startle 
even  the  strongest  nerves. 

The  food  of  all  employees  and  servants  is  sepa- 
rately sent  to  them,  for  they  would  not  eat  if  they 
discovered  that  by  the  touch  of  other  than  their 
own  caste  it  had  been  defiled.  When  it  is  brought 
to  them  they  retire  to  some  secluded  corner  to  eat, 
in  order  to  guard  against  the  possibility  of  even  the 
shadow  of  a  white  person  or  one  of  different  caste 
falling  upon  it,  which  would  make  necessary  their 
throwing  it  away  as  defiled. 

The  vegetation  about  Colombo  is  luxuriant  in  the 
extreme.  The  hot  moist  climate,  with  rain  nearly 
every  day,  makes  a  natural  forcing-house,  and 
every  sort  of  growth  flourishes.  In  the  high  alti- 
tudes about  Kandy  and  Newara  Eliya  tea  is  the 
278 


CEYLON:    THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

principal  product.  A  tea  plantation  is  an  inter- 
esting place,  and  a  busy  one,  for  a  crop  is  harvested 
every  week;  only  the  two  tiny  top  leaves  and  half 
of  the  next  two  underneath  are  picked. 

When  the  sturdy  little  plant  first  pushes  out  baby 
leaves — begins  to  "flush,"  as  the  planters  say,  from 
the  delicate  pink  tinge  of  these  little  shoots — it  is 
fallen  upon  by  pickers  and  stript,  only  to  have 
the  same  fate  befall  it  the  next  week  when  the  plant 
has  made  another  brave  effort.  Tea  plantations 
usually  comprize  about  four  hundred  acres,  and 
from  such  an  estate  two  hundred  thousand  pounds 
of  tea  may  be  taken  in  a  year. 

Surely  this  is  a  profitable  business,  for  labor  is 
cheap,  coolies  and  women  receiving  about  eight 
cents  a  day,  and  head  men  about  thirteen  cents.  But 
a  planter  assured  me  that  it  was  heart-breaking 
work,  for  all  the  planters  were  pitted  one  against 
another;  the  government  gave  them  no  concessions 
in  the  way  of  exporting,  and  hindered  them  in 
many  ways. 

The  process  of  converting  the  tea-leaf  into  the 
marketable  product  has  been  explained  so  often 
and  so  intelligently  that  it  need  not  be  entered  into 
here.  We  were  told,  altho  we  did  not  see  it,  that 
from  some  of  the  high  plantations  bags  of  tea- 
leaves  were  shot  down  into  the  valley  on  a  sort  of 
wire  railway  to  the  factory,  thus  reaching  their 
destination  in  a  few  moments ;  formerly  coolies  took 
279 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

several  days  in  carrying  them  down  the  difficult 
mountain  paths. 

All  sorts  of  devices  are  used  by  these  planters. 
One  told  me  he  always  signaled  from  a  train 
by  a  heliograph  to  his  home  fifteen  miles  away, 
in  order  to  tell  his  family  he  was  coming,  and 
he  would  always  receive  a  reply  by  the  same 
method. 

From  familiar  advertisements  of  Ceylon  tea  we 
were  quite  prepared  to  see  upon  entering  Colombo 
a  continuous  procession  of  elephants  loaded  with  it, 
and  bound  for  the  steamer.  But  no  such  sight 
greeted  us.  We  learned  that  in  Ceylon  Sir  Thomas 
Lipton  is  the  owner  of  only  one  small  plantation  of 
about  two  hundred  acres,  the  principal  supply  of 
his  tea  coming  from  other  planters  who  ship  it 
themselves,  quite  regardless  of  spectacular  effect 
and  entirely  without  the  aid  of  elephants. 

The  buried  cities  of  Ceylon  are  naturally  of 
great  interest,  Anurajahpura  being  the  most 
fully  reclaimed  from  the  destroying  grasp  of  the 
jungle.  Here  temples,  monuments,  water-tanks, 
palaces  and  buildings  of  all  kinds  are  being  un- 
earthed, slowly  bringing  to  light  the  remains  of  a 
great  city,  that  a  few  centuries  ago  housed  at  least 
three  million  people.  At  the  fairly  well-restored 
temple,  in  the  courtyard  of  which  is  the  ever-living 
sacred  bo-tree  of  Buddha,  were  hundreds  of  mon- 
keys, kept  there  by  priests  in  memory  of  the  monkey 
280 


CEYLON:    THE   DOOR-SILL   OF   INDIA 

god,  Hanuman,  who  saved  Buddha  in  the  incarna- 
tion of  Rama. 

There  is  something  forbidding  and  disheartening 
about  a  deserted  city  of  any  kind,  even  a  deserted 
mining-camp  in  our  own  Rockies,  and  it  is  with  a 
feeling  of  relief  that  one  returns  to  the  cheerful 
bustle  and  noise  of  Colombo,  in  time  to  embark  on 
the  excellent  German  steamer  in  the  harbor.  A  fear 
had  haunted  us  that  we  might  have  to  go  on  one  of 
those  English  boats,  which  provide  the  worst  pun- 
ishment that  could  befall  the  most  hardened  evil- 
doing  traveler.  Wretched  food,  cockroaches  of 
nightmare  proportions,  and  a  frozen  hauteur  on  the 
part  of  the  officers,  make  these  boats  the  execration 
of  those  who  travel  by  them. 

As  we  left  the  harbor,  the  band  playing  merrily, 
we  took  our  last  look  at  Colombo.  The  red  roofs 
and  occasional  glimpses  of  white  walls  peeping  from 
the  clustering  palms,  and  the  craft-dotted  harbor, 
showed  like  a  mirage  through  a  silvery  sheet  of 
tropical  rain,  and  for  many  reasons  we  were  sorry 
to  leave  this  brilliant  little  island. 


281 


XX 

CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

History  of  the  Great  Ditch — "Le  Grand  Fran§ais"  and 
How  He  Fulfilled  the  Oracle's  Prophecy  for  Egypt — 
Monotonous  Aspects — Bible  Scenes — Enormous  Tolls — 
Port  Said — The  Great  Barrage — English  Prejudice — 
Mecca  Pilgrims — Bewildering  Sights  and  Sounds  of 
Cairo — Funeral  Mourners — Public  Scribes — Shopkeep- 
ers' Bitter  Eivalry — Cairene  Wedding  Procession — The 
Whirling  Dervishes — The  Howling  Dervishes — The  Cita- 
del— Tombs  of  the  Califs — The  Pyramids  and  Sphinx 
— Guides  All  Lie  in  Seven  Different  Languages — Incu- 
bators— Spot  Where  Moses  Was  Found — Obelisk  of  Heli- 
opolis — Museum  and  Mummies — "Well  Done,  Good  and 
Faithful  Servant ! ' ' — Eecruiting  the  Army — The  Uni- 
versity— Six  Powers  with  Hand  on  the  Cash-Box — 
Ismail's  Mad  Legacy. 

ON  a  fine,  cool  morning  we  reached  that  his- 
toric artery  of  water  that  joins  the  Bed 
Sea  to  the  Mediterranean,  known  as  the 
Suez  Canal.     This  unprepossessing  "ditch,"  as  it 
has  so  often  been  called,  has  been  held  responsible 
almost  as  much  as  the  unbridled  extravagance  of 
Ismail  Pasha  for  the  financial  ruin  of  Egypt  and 
her  present  occupation  by  foreign  powers. 

Despite  dire  prophecy  and  centuries  of  failure — 
for  nearly  every  ruler  of  Egypt,  from  Seti,  father 
282 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

of  Rameses  the  Great,  we  are  told,  to  Napoleon 
Bonaparte,  has  tried  his  hand  at  the  problem  of 
establishing  water  communication  between  the  Med- 
iterranean and  the  Red  Sea — despite  this,  the  great 
canal  has  become  a  fixt  fact  in  the  world's  his- 
tory. The  one-time  American  Consul-General  at 
Cairo,  Mr.  Frederick  Courtland  Penfield,  in  his 
charming  and  instructive  book,  "Present-Day 
Egypt,"  lets  in  much  pleasant  light  upon  the 
musty  old  traditions  of  the  Ancient  Land. 

Strabo,  now;  he's  the  world's  earliest  geographer 
and  historian,  or  one  of  'em,  and  I  suppose  we  are 
bound  to  believe  him,  even  when  he  says — he  must 
have  said  it,  for  I've  never  seen  any  of  his  hand- 
writing lying  around — Strabo  says  that,  fourteen 
centuries  before  the  Christian  era — that's  an  awful 
long  time,  Strabo!  but  I'll  not  dispute  the  word 
of  a  gentleman — Seti  cut  a  canal  fifty-seven  miles 
long  from  Bubastis,  near  the  present  town  of  Zig- 
zag— I  mean  Zagazig — to  Heroopolis,  at  the  head 
of  the  Bitter  Lakes,  then  forming  the  northern  ex- 
tremity of  the  Suez  Gulf.  Herodotus — another  old- 
timer  who  juggles  with  centuries  as  the  circus 
clown  juggles  with  his  old  hat — says  that  eight  hun- 
dred years  later  Necho,  the  Persian,  tried  a  little 
canal-building,  keeping  at  it  till  the  mere  trifle  of 
a  hundred  and  twenty  thousand  lives  had  been  sac- 
rificed in  the  job,  and  only  abandoning  it  when  the 
great  oracle  of  that  day  (whom  he  consulted) 
283 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

prophesied  that  the  most  dire  results  would  follow 
the  completion  of  the  work,  and  the  entire  land  of 
Egypt  be  given  over  to  the  stranger  and  the  bar- 
barian. 

A  century  later,  notwithstanding  that  the  proph- 
ecy had  been  handed  down  from  ruler  to  ruler,  the 
Persian  Darius  took  a  hand;  but,  threatened  by 
wise  men  with  a  deluge,  gave  up  the  job  when  near 
completion.  Then  Ptolemy  Philadelphia — I'll  bet 
he  was  a  slow-coach — B.  C.  285,  joined  the  canal 
with  the  Heroopolite  gulf  by  means  of  locks,  open- 
ing them  when  a  vessel  wished  to  pass.  Cleopatra 
tried,  a  couple  of  centuries  later,  to  escape  with  her 
ships  to  the  Red  Sea,  but  it  was  too  tight  a  squeeze 
even  for  this  lady  of  many  squeezes,  the  locks  being 
rusty  from  want  of  use  or  from  not  having  been 
greased  in  a  century  or  so,  and  the  Egyptian  beauty 
found  that  her  fate  must  run  in  other  channels. 

Then,  successively,  the  Roman  Emperors  Trajan 
and  Hadrian;  the  Arabian  conqueror  Amron;  the 
great  Napoleon,  who  held  the  hollow  of  the  heavens 
in  his  usurping  hand;  Mehemet  Ali,  who  had 
butchered  four  hundred  Mamelukes  before  supper, 
but  had  not  the  daring  to  brave  the  ancient  proph- 
ecy ;  French  engineers,  English  engineers,  Austrian 
engineers,  each  and  all,  tried  their  hand,  but  to  no 
definite  end.  They  disagreed  as  to  the  level  of  the 
two  seas.  Napoleon's  engineers  estimated  that  the 
Mediterranean  was  thirty  feet  below  the  level  of 
284 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

the  Red  Sea,  calling  for  a  scheme  of  sluices  and 
locks,  but  Waghorn,  an  Englishman,  declared  that 
the  level  of  the  two  waters  was  identical. 

Meanwhile,  a  young  Frenchman  was  dreaming 
dreams;  he  was  eloquent;  he  was  convincing;  and 
he  finally  convinced  Said  Pasha  that  the  future 
was  lettered  big  with  the  name  of  Ferdinand  de 
Lesseps,  "le  grand  Frangais,"  and  that  if  a  con- 
cession were  given  to  him  he  would  make  Egypt 
and  France  both  immortal.  He  got  the  concession. 
Said  cared  nothing  for  the  ancient  oracle  that  had 
frightened  his  grandfather  Mehemet,  and  so  Fate 
swept  on  with  her  relentless  broom  and  Said  was 
gathered  to  his  fathers ;  Ismail,  the  magnificent,  the 
extravagant,  the  prince  of  immense  fortune,  suc- 
ceeded his  uncle,  and  also  succeeded  in  plunging 
his  unhappy  country  up  to  the  neck  in  bonds  and 
mortgages  galore;  Europe  stept  in;  England  be- 
came the  purchaser  of  Ismail's  personal  holdings 
(only  twenty  million  dollars  saved  from  the  wreck 
of  eighty-five  million),  which  he  surrendered  to 
his  creditors  a  short  time  before  his  dethronement 
and  banishment  to  Naples. 

Ismail,  in  his  brief  rule  of  sixteen  years,  not  only 
incurred  a  debt  of  over  four  hundred  million  dol- 
lars, says  Consul  Penfield,  but  he  mortgaged  the 
souls  of  generations  of  Egyptians  yet  unborn.  And 
thus  did  the  prophecy  come  true!  The  ancient 
oracle  spake  not  in  vain.  The  land  of  the  Pharaohs 
285 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

and  the  Ptolemies,  of  Alexander  and  Cleopatra, 
has  passed  into  the  hands  of  the  stranger ;  and  the 
Ancient  of  Days,  as  she  was  in  the  dim,  remote 
ages,  is  known  to  us  no  more. 

Its  varied  and  almost  tragic  history  lends  an 
added  interest  to  the  dull  and  monotonous  aspect 
that  it  presents,  the  flat  sandy  banks  melting  out 
into  the  desert,  unbroken  save  for  the  occasional 
government  stations,  a  steamer  tied  to  the  bank 
waiting  for  ours  to  pass,  or  a  collection  of  mud 
houses  belonging  to  Arabs,  whose  camels  and  don- 
keys were  tethered  near-by. 

At  times  small  boys  race  along  the  banks,  easily 
keeping  pace  with  the  slowly  moving  steamer,  cry- 
ing for  "bakshish,"  to  which  the  passengers  and 
crew  respond  by  tossing  fruit  and  packages  of  food 
and  money  to  them. 

Twice  we  passed  large  numbers  of  workmen  who 
were  mending  the  banks,  aided  by  droves  of  camels 
transporting  sand  and  stone  in  pannier  boxes.  The 
men  looked  very  picturesque  in  flowing  burnouse 
and  turban,  but  much  too  dignified  and  decorative 
for  hard  labor. 

Great  steam  dredgers  were  frequently  seen  to  be 
working  to  keep  the  canal  passable  for  steamers, 
as  sand  and  silt  are  continually  filling  it  up.  The 
expense  of  keeping  the  canal  in  order  is  enormous, 
but  the  toll  from  every  vessel  is  so  great  that  the 
government's  profits  are  beyond  the  dreams  of 
286 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

avarice.  Our  big  German  boat  was  the  largest  that 
had  ever  passed  the  Canal,  and  her  tolls  amounted 
to  the  sum  of  $17,500  for  one  trip.  Of  course  she 
had  paid  the  same  on  her  trip  out  to  Australia. 

Port  Said  is  a  town  of  some  importance,  very 
much  larger  than  Suez,  but  in  the  flying  glimpse 
we  caught  of  it  in  the  course  of  a  wild  early-morn- 
ing ride  to  catch  the  train  for  Cairo,  we  were  im- 
prest by  its  dirt  and  noise  more  than  by  anything 
else.  The  single  point  of  real  interest  was  our 
first  sight  of  an  Arab  woman,  shrouded  in  black, 
her  veil  held  by  the  gilt  "aroosa"  that  looks  like  a 
section  of  gilded  lead  pipe,  from  each  side  of 
which  her  magnificent  eyes  looked  out,  their  beauty 
and  brilliancy  enhanced  by  the  markings  of  kohl 
that  shaded  them. 

The  ride  to  Cairo,  for  many  reasons,  was  tire- 
some, chiefly  because  of  the  dust  and  flies,  and  a 
family  that  shared  the  compartment  with  us  and 
had  a  mountain  of  luggage.  The  changing  interest 
of  the  landscape,  however,  made  us  forget  the  an- 
noyances, for  were  not  scenes  from  the  Bible  spread 
out  before  us  like  an  open  book — the  shepherd  with 
his  flock,  the  camels  either  resting  or  marching 
slowly,  the  mud  houses  surrounded  by  palms,  the 
women  carrying  water- jars  on  their  heads,  walking 
splendidly,  and  swinging  lightly  from  their  hips; 
a  family  working  among  the  fertile  fields;  little 
girls  tending  goats  and  winding  wool  on  a  distaff 
287 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

as  they  watched,  or  a  venerable  old  man  in  float- 
ing draperies  riding  a  diminutive  donkey. 

During  the  ride  we  were  much  edified  by  one  of 
the  English  party  with  us  saying  as  we  passed  a 
station:  "There's  a  fine  engine,  a  splendid  engine, 
by  Jove!"  "That's  an  American  engine,"  said  the 
other  man,  adding,  before  we  had  lost  our  little 
glow  of  patriotic  pride,  "but  we  don't  care  for 
them  out  here;  they  burn  such  a  lot  of  coal  and 
are  so  very  dirty ! "  To  our  humble  suggestion  that 
perhaps  they  made  up  for  this  defect  by  being 
fast,  he  assented  condescendingly  that  they  were 
fast,  "but  so  dirty,  you  know!" 

The  great  barrage,  near  Cairo,  constructed  to 
hold  back  the  surplus  waters  and  thus  irrigate  a 
larger  area,  was  begun  in  1837  from  plans  made  by 
Mongel  Bey,  a  Frenchman.  The  English  tourist 
never  lets  slip  a  chance  to  boast  of  his  country's 
superiority  in  the  matter  of  the  reincarnation  of 
Egypt  under  British  "occupation,"  and  a  good 
story  is  told  by  Consul  Penfield  of  one  of  these 
globe-trotters  who  was  inspecting  with  a  proud  air 
the  great  barrage. 

"Yes,  it's  a  great  work!  and  these  foreigners 
ought  better  to  appreciate  what  we  are  doing  for 
their  good.  This  thing  has  put  them  on  their  feet, 
financially,  sure  enough,  but  I  don't  see  that  they 
show  any  gratitude  for  our  having  built  it ! " 

"I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  the  engineer  in  charge, 
288 


An  Egyptian  Mother 


A  Cake-Seller 


The  Tent  in  Which  the  Holy 
Carpet  is  Carried  to  Mecca 


A  Street  Circus 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

"but  this  barrage  was  designed  and  built  by  French 
engineers. ' ' 

"I  didn't  know  that,"  replied  the  tourist,  some- 
what subdued,  "but  anyway,  they  have  to  get  an 
Englishman  to  take  care  of  it ! " 

"I  beg  your  pardon  again,"  said  the  gentleman 
with  D.  P.  W.  on  his  cap  and  shield,  "I  have  the 
honor  of  being  a  native-born  American  citizen ! ' ' 

The  tourist  walked  away  muttering,  "Well,  I'm 
going  back  to  Shepherd's  before  some  one  tells  me 
that  a  Frenchman  built  those  Pyramids  over 
there!" 

At  every  station  we  saw  great  crowds  of  people 
and  passed  trains  packed  like  sardines.  Our  in- 
terest was  profound  when  we  learned  that  they 
were  pilgrims  just  starting  on  their  long  and  tire- 
some journey  to  Mecca.  They  were  bound  for  Port 
Said,  where  they  would  take  ship  for  Jaffa,  from 
there  traveling  to  Mecca  by  camel  and  horseback, 
tho  the  greater  majority  go  all  the  way  across  the 
desert  on  foot,  thereby  attaining  added  merit.  Be- 
sides assured  salvation,  a  trip  to  Mecca  gives  a  man 
the  right  to  wear  a  turban  of  green,  the  Prophet's 
own  color,  and  the  title  of  Hadji,  and  when  he  re- 
turns to  his  home  he  would  quite  naturally  fresco 
over  his  shop-  or  house-door  the  history  of  the  pil- 
grimage, a  purple  train,  a  red  boat,  a  string  of 
blue  camels,  and  a  yellow  mosque  before  which 
a  man  in  a  green  turban  bows  himself  in  prayer. 
289 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

Beneath  this  highly  decorative  record  he  would 
henceforth  sit  serenely  wearing  his  green  turban, 
and  smoking  his  narghile,  trying  to  appear  un- 
conscious of  the  looks  of  respectful  admiration  not 
unmixed  with  envy  that  are  cast  in  his  direction. 

Unfortunately  we  were  just  a  day  too  late  to  see 
the  procession  of  the  Sacred  Carpet  in  Cairo,  when 
the  pilgrims  start  on  their  journey.  The  carpet, 
that  is  every  year  taken  to  the  Shrine  at  Mecca,  is 
carried  through  the  streets  under  a  green  canopy, 
accompanied  by  thousands  of  pilgrims,  soldiers, 
horses,  camels,  and  the  general  populace. 

When  the  pilgrims  return  from  Mecca  they  bring 
away  the  carpet  of  the  previous  year,  which  is  then 
cut  into  twenty-four  pieces  and  distributed  among 
as  many  mosques,  shrines,  or  tombs  of  special  holi- 
ness, where  the  pieces  are  kept  as  sacred  relics. 

When  we  arrived  at  Cairo  we  were  suddenly 
plunged  into  the  sights  and  sounds  and  novelty  of 
that  fascinating  city — camels,  donkeys,  with  jin- 
gling bells,  wild  Bedouins  from  the  desert  riding 
gaily  caparisoned  Arab  horses,  men  asleep  on  the 
sidewalks  and  wrapt  head  and  body  in  their  cloaks ; 
veiled  women,  noise,  bustle  and  excitement.  All 
this  held  our  breathless  interest  until  we  were 
whirled  up  to  Shepherd's  famous  hostelry. 

This  hotel  has  been  too  often  described  to  need 
any  special  attention  now;  the  broad  open  terrace, 
where  the  guests  sit  and  drink  tea  or  coffee,  watch- 
290 


CAIRO   OP   TO-DAY 

ing  the  varied  procession  of  Eastern  life  pass,  is 
well  known  even  to  those  who  have  not  seen  it. 
The  terrace  is  still  there,  but  alas!  processions  no 
longer  pass  the  door,  as  the  street  has  become  of 
such  importance  that  the  returning  or  departing 
caravans  of  camels,  the  Bedouins,  the  sellers  of 
ducks,  chickens  and  turkeys  from  the  country,  and 
the  flocks  of  sheep  and  goats  have  so  blocked  the 
traffic  that  the  authorities  have  compelled  the  pro- 
cessions to  take  other  routes,  to  the  disappointment 
of  visitors  who  anticipated  sitting  at  their  ease  and 
seeing  an  endless  panorama  from  the  Arabian 
Nights  pass  before  their  gaze. 

But  magicians,  street-musicians,  and  pedlers, 
a  small  circus  composed  of  a  donkey,  a  monkey,  and 
a  little  black  goat,  snake-charmers,  and  all  sorts 
of  picturesque  individuals  may  still  be  found  on  or 
near  the  terrace.  One  magician  evolved  snakes  out 
of  coins  and  bits  of  rag,  to  a  running  fire  of  re- 
marks, of  which  the  principal  ones  were,  ''Gaily — 
gaily — gaily — coom  leetle  devil ! ' '  presumably  mean- 
ing the  small  green  snake  that  would  be  found 
curled  in  the  hand  of  a  bystander,  who  had  been 
innocently  holding,  as  he  thought,  a  coin. 

One  of  these  strolling  Arabs  had  a  snake  that 
crawled  in  a  blood-curdling  manner  about  the  man 's 
head  and  face.  But  his  prize  card  was  a  scorpion 
that  he  would  take  out  of  a  box,  allowing  it  to  vi- 
ciously bite  him  several  times,  for  the  edification  of 
291 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

any  who  chose  to  look  at  him.  An  amusing  feature  of 
this  man's  performance  was  the  policeman's  efforts 
to  make  him  move  on,  without  getting  too  near  the 
dangerous  performers.  The  man  realized  this,  and 
when  the  policeman  came  toward  him  the  scorpion 
was  displayed  ostentatiously,  and  the  policeman 
kept  a  respectful  distance. 

Besides  these  itinerant  entertainers,  a  crowd  of 
guides  still  swarm  about  the  steps,  soliciting  one's 
patronage  at  every  turn.  Some  are  native  Cai- 
renes  in  long  gown  and  red  fez,  others  desert  Bed- 
ouins in  picturesque,  flowing  draperies  and  tur- 
bans, while  still  others  are  Syrians,  magnificent 
in  full  trousers  and  short  jackets  of  fine  cloth,  elab- 
orately braided  in  gold.  Aside  from  the  necessity 
of  having  a  guide  in  Cairo,  his  presence  is  a  com- 
fort, inasmuch  as  it  relieves  one  of  the  pestering 
solicitations  of  the  others,  who  are  really  a  great 
nuisance.  They  tell  me  that  once  in  a  while  the 
hotel  people  have  to  shoot  a  few  to  keep  them 
thinned  out,  but  this  smacked  too  much  of  Amer- 
ica and  the  atmosphere  of  the  plains  to  be  quite 
credible. 

A  first  drive  in  Cairo  is  a  joy — the  objects  of  in- 
terest are  so  unceasing  and  so  replete  with  histor- 
ical meaning.  The  first  thing  to  stir  one's  memory 
is  the  opera-house,  built  in  six  weeks,  so  there  might 
be  a  fitting  home  of  song  for  the  company  of  great 
French  singers  brought  over  by  the  royal  spend- 
292 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

thrift  Ismail,  to  assist  in  the  gorgeous  celebration 
attending  the  opening  of  the  Suez  Canal. 

Here  was  given  the  first  performance  of  Verdi's 
opera  "Aida,"  written  expressly  for  the  occasion. 
The  performance  was  further  unique  from  the 
fact  that  Mariotte  Bey,  the  great  Egyptologist  gave 
his  attention  to  the  production,  so  that  every  detail 
of  scenery,  costume  and  plot  was  historically  cor- 
rect, while  the  Egyptian  Museum  was  ransacked 
for  properties  and  jewels.  It  was  probably  the 
greatest  stage  production  ever  seen,  or  that  ever 
could  be  given,  and  was  only  possible  at  a  time 
when  Ismail  spent  twenty-one  million  dollars  on  the 
celebration  attending  the  opening  of  the  Canal  that 
was  first  and  last  his  country's  ruin. 

The  beautiful  Empress  Eugenie,  since  called  the 
Mother  of  Sorrows,  was  the  principal  guest.  She 
has  always  received  homage  and  admiration  in 
Egypt.  But  there  were  hundreds  more,  not  all  of 
whom  were  royal.  A  special  hotel  was  built  for 
newspaper  correspondents,  who  appreciated  the  at- 
tention so  much  that  they  lived  there  for  two 
years  after  the  celebration  on  the  bounty  of  the 
man  who  had  entertained  them  with  such  lavish 
generosity,  charging  their  private  expenses  to 
laundry  and  hotel  bills.  The  hotel  where  they 
lived  so  long  is  now  the  Grand  Continental, 
showing  that  Ismail  housed  his  guests  right 
royally. 

293 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

In  the  Mouski,  as  well  as  other  characteristically 
native  streets  on  the  way  to  the  bazaars,  every  phase 
of  life  may  be  seen.  Open  shops,  scarcely  six  feet 
across  with  imperturbable  proprietors  smoking 
water-pipes,  a  constant  procession  through  the 
streets  of  donkeys  and  carts,  loaded  with  veiled 
women,  camels  treading  stealthily,  one  of  which 
was  seen  daintily  nibbling  at  the  flowers  on  the 
Parisian  bonnet  of  the  lady  in  a  victoria  just  ahead. 

Flocks  of  geese  and  turkeys  might  be  seen  driven 
along  the  street  by  venders  who  guided  them  with 
a  little  switch,  keeping  them  under  perfect  control. 
A  funeral  is  sure  to  be  met  with,  heralded  by  the 
most  frightful  sounds  of  lamentation.  First  will 
come  a  company  of  blind  men,  clinging  together 
and  leading  one  another,  all  lamenting  and  crying, 
their  faces  twisted  into  the  most  fearful  expres- 
sions of  assumed  grief.  Behind  them  walk  two  lit- 
tle boys  carrying  something  covered  with  an  em- 
broidered napkin,  probably  the  Koran;  and  the 
reader  of  the  Koran,  who  with  his  hand  beside  his 
mouth  like  a  huckster  shouts  verses  of  the  Koran 
at  the  top  of  his  lungs.  Then  comes  the  body,  rest- 
ing, without  a  coffin,  on  a  bier  carried  high  above 
the  bearers'  heads,  and  covered  with  an  embroid- 
ered cloth.  Directly  back  of  it  walk  the  hired 
women  mourners,  heavily  veiled,  and  rivaling  the 
blind  men  in  the  volume  and  penetrating  quality 
of  their  lamentation.  Taken  altogether  a  Cairo 
294 


CAIEO   OF   TO-DAY 

funeral  is  about  as  noisy  an  affair  as  one  could 
imagine,  and  the  whole  thing  reminded  me  irre- 
sistibly of  the  Irish  undertaker  who,  in  the  first 
glory  of  his  official  dignity,  announced  to  the  as- 
sembled company  the  order  of  the  procession: 
' '  Now,  thin,  all  of  yees  attind  to  me !  First,  the  de- 
partid,  thin  th'  f rinds  of  the  departid;  an'  thin, 
th'  pop'liss!"  (populace). 

Professional  women  mourners  will  sit  outside  a 
house  where  a  person  is  known  to  be  ill,  waiting 
patiently  for  the  time  when  they  may  be  needed, 
for  their  services  begin  from  the  moment  of  death, 
their  wild  cries  and  lamentings  apprizing  the  neigh- 
borhood of  the  event. 

Blind  men  to  precede  the  funeral  procession  are 
always  to  be  had,  for  the  city  swarms  with  them. 
It  seems  as  if  almost  every  fourth  or  fifth  person 
one  meets  is  blind.  They  are,  with  very  few  ex- 
ceptions, beggars ;  and  this  great  prevalence  of  blind 
men,  women  and  children  is  rather  depressing.  It 
is  accounted  for  generally  from  the  fact  that  the 
children  grow  up  in  a  state  of  filth  that  is  beyond 
belief.  Mothers  who  are  themselves  neat  and  clean, 
and  even  drest  with  some  pretensions  to  elegance, 
will  allow  their  children  to  be  dirty,  never  washing 
them,  so  that  they  may  remain  without  attractions 
and  therefore  undesirable  and  free  from  the  influ- 
ence of  the  dreaded  evil  eye.  On  the  belief  that 
envy,  like  death,  loves  a  shining  mark,  their  chil- 
295 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

dren  never  shine  from  soap  and  water,  or  for  any 
other  reason.  The  dirt  on  the  poor  little  creatures 
attracts  swarms  of  flies  and  insects,  that  are  never 
brushed  away  by  the  devoted  mothers,  as  such  an 
act  would  induce  misfortune.  From  such  condi- 
tions every  sort  of  disease  results,  but  most  fre- 
quently blindness  is  the  penalty  of  this  benighted 
superstition.  One  of  the  most  picturesque  details 
of  Cairo  street-life  are  the  water-sellers,  who  peddle 
water  carried  on  their  backs,  in  swelling  goatskins, 
as  it  has  been  carried  for  uncounted  centuries. 
Many  of  these  sell  the  sweet  waters  of  the  Nile, 
much  prized  by  the  people  of  all  classes.  The  Arabs 
have  a  saying:  "He  who  has  tasted  the  waters  of 
the  Nile  longs  inexpressibly  for  them  ever  after." 

Public  letter-carriers,  readers  of  the  Koran,  and 
story-tellers  are  still  facts  in  Cairo,  not  yet  rele- 
gated to  the  realm  of  romance,  and  strangely  pic- 
turesque to  "Western  eyes  is  the  row  of  scribes  seated 
under  colored  umbrellas,  with  a  small  table  before 
them  on  which  are  papers  and  ink  and  the  little  in- 
strument that  is  so  much  mightier  than  the  sword. 
A  turbaned  head  leans  toward  some  fair  but  illit- 
erate Giulia  or  Teresita,  who  desires  a  message  of 
greeting  sent  to  her  Paolo  or  Giuseppe;  or  a  com- 
mercial missive  of  less  sentimental  importance  is 
dispatched  to  some  Mediterranean  port  or  the  busy 
Levant. 

Very  laughable  is  the  rivalry  between  the  keepers 

296 


CAIRO   OP   TO-DAY 

of  the  bazaars,  and  bitter  the  denunciation  that  fills 
the  ear  of  the  foreigner  as  he  stops  to  make  a  pur- 
chase. The  strange  medley  of  tongues  and  the 
stranger  pronunciation  of  his  own  language  make 
the  buyer  stare  and  then  double  up  with  laughter. 

If  he  select  an  article  from  the  stand  of  the  mer- 
chant on  his  right,  the  proprietor  of  the  stand  on 
his  left  will  shriek  in  his  ear:  "No  buy  of  heem! 
heem  verra  bad  man!  heem  tief !  heem  fader  tief ! 
heem  mudder  tief!  heem  granfader  tief!  heem 
granmudder  tief!  no  buy  of  heem!"  while  the  im- 
perturbable proprietor  on  the  right  will  respond  in 
a  low  guttural  like  a  bass  solo  following  a  soprano 
cadenza:  "Heem  big  liar!  heem  go  jail!  heem  got 
notting!  Me  got  ebberyting!  Look  you!  Shmakkin- 
kip  (smoking-cap),  packet-snif  (pocket-knife), 
'ooble-booble  (hubble-bubble,  or  water-pipe), 
preera-beed"  (prayer-beads,  or  rosary).  Then, 
with  a  shout  of  triumph,  ' '  Shlippers  all !  shlippers 
mooch!  beada  shlippers!  silka  shlippers!  golda 
shlippers !  me  got  all !  heem  big  liar !  heem  go  jail !" 
and  so  on,  ad  infinitunl. 

By  this  my  reader  will  perceive  that  shopping 
in  Cairo  is  not  all  as  if  done  in  heaven,  nor  yet  in 
the  other  place,  and  that  the  amenities  are  much 
subordinate  to  that  love  which  is  the  root  of  all 
evil. 

A  wedding  is  quite  likely  to  follow  next  in  the 
wonderful  street  procession.  First  is  seen  a  clown 
297 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

or  mountebank  dancing,  grimacing,  rolling  in  the 
dirt  and  going  through  all  sorts  of  antics  for  the 
amusement  of  the  people.  He  is  followed  by  men 
playing  on  a  collection  of  shrieking  and  wailing 
musical  instruments.  Then  comes  the  bride,  some- 
times in  a  closely  shuttered  carriage  draped  with 
tinsel-trimmed  velvet  or,  what  is  much  more  pic- 
turesque, a  curtained  litter  slung  between  two  cam- 
els. After  her  comes  the  furniture  for  her  new 
home,  for  a  bride  is  expected  to  provide  everything, 
even  to  the  bridegroom 's  trousseau.  This  is  all  piled 
on  camels,  which  go  swaying  along,  sneering  super- 
ciliously as  if  deploring  the  foolishness  of  these 
human  customs.  A  camel's  expression  of  conscious 
superiority  must  be  rather  trying,  if  one  sees  much 
of  it 

It  seems  almost  a  waste  of  time  to  have  so  much 
ceremony  for  a  relation  so  easily  dissolved  as  mar- 
riage is  in  Cairo.  A  man,  with  or  without  any  just 
cause,  has  only  to  say  before  witnesses,  "Woman, 
I  divorce  thee ! ' '  and  repeat  it  three  times,  and  he 
is  as  free  as  before  he  married  her.  He  must,  how- 
ever, return  her  house-plenishing  and  she  must 
return  her  dowry.  This  dowry  consists  of  one-third 
of  a  man 's  possessions,  which  he  settles  on  her  when 
he  marries  her.  His  trousseau  is  probably  counted 
up  to  profit  and  loss.  According  to  the  Moham- 
medan faith  a  man.  may  have  four  wives,  that  is, 
"all  to  onct,"  as  they  say  in  the  West.  He  may 
298 


CAIRO    OF   TO-DAY 

divorce  them  and  remarry,  still  keeping  to  his  al- 
lowance of  four,  as  many  times  as  he  likes. 

All  these  sights  and  many  more  may  be  seen 
during  a  drive  to  see  the  whirling  dervishes,  who 
dance  every  Friday  afternoon.  Friday  is  the  Mo- 
hammedan Sunday,  and  in  the  afternoon  they  con- 
duct this  performance,  which  is  a  religious  cere- 
mony, but  palpably  worked  up  for  the  benefit  of 
the  hundreds  of  tourists  who  flock  to  see  it. 

The  performance  took  place  on  an  enclosed  cir- 
cular floor  with  rugs  about  the  edge,  upon  which, 
at  the  beginning,  the  dervishes  to  the  number  of 
about  sixteen  sat  wrapt  in  big  black  cloaks  and 
wearing  tall  felt  hats.  The  Sheik,  in  a  green  tur- 
ban, sat  on  a  rug  of  extra  elegance,  with  the  Ko- 
ran on  a  cushion  in  front  of  him.  A  solo  on  a  wail- 
ing flute  opened  the  performance,  piercing  squeals 
and  breathless  trills  putting  our  nerves  and  teeth 
on  edge,  until  an  unseen  man  in  the  balcony  cut 
it  short  by  beginning  to  intone  in  a  high-pitched 
voice  a  long  incantation  about  a  young  person  of 
the  name  of  Moll — at  least  that  name  was  all  we 
understood.  After  that  the  dervishes  arose,  cast 
their  cloaks  on  the  ground  and  stood  revealed  in 
white  robes  with  exceedingly  full  skirts,  from  un- 
der which  their  bare  feet  peeped  out. 

Then  they  began  a  solemn  procession  about  the 
open  space,  bowing  to  their  neighbors  either  way, 
as  they  reached  the  rug  of  the  Sheik.     This  was 
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SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

done  three  times,  the  men  walking  and  bowing,  not 
without  grace  and  dignity.  Suddenly  as  the  third 
round  was  completed,  the  first  man  flung  out  his 
arms  and  began  to  spin  round  and  round,  his  skirts 
standing  away  stiffly  from  his  limbs.  One  could 
not  but  expect  to  see  him  suddenly  "duck,"  his 
skirts  billowing  up  around  him,  as  little  girls  do 
when  they  play  the  game  called  "making  cheeses." 
Momentarily  he  was  joined  by  others  until  the  ring 
became  filled  with  whirling  figures,  each  holding 
his  arms  and  head  in  some  distinctive  position, 
some  going  about  sedately  in  one  spot,  while  others 
pirouetted  airily  in  and  out  among  the  other 
dancers. 

One  man  had  his  arms  held  out  in  a  singularly 
appealing  manner,  while  his  head  was  cuddled 
down  on  his  shoulder,  giving  him  a  ridiculously 
coy  expression.  This  is  the  last  act.  After  about 
fifteen  minutes  of  this  whirling  the  dervishes  re- 
sume their  cloaks  and  the  performance  is  over. 

From  there  we  were  driven  to  see  the  howling 
dervishes,  a  different  organization,  who  conduct 
their  religious  worship  on  different  lines.  The 
commercial  instinct  of  this  sect  seems  more  highly 
developed  than  that  of  the  other,  for  here  the  sum 
of  two  piasters  each  was  charged  for  admittance. 
As  we  entered  the  door  a  great  volume  of  sound 
greeted  us  and  rose  and  fell  like  the  sound  of  men's 
voices  chanting. 

300 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

Here  was  another  enclosed  circular  space,  another 
venerable  Sheik  in  green  turban,  and  about  twenty 
dervishes  seated  around  the  rail,  all  chanting :  ' '  Al- 
lah il  Allah!"  their  bodies  swaying  from  side  to 
side  as  they  shouted  the  assertion  that  "God  is 
God"  over  and  over  again. 

They  next  stood  up  and  swaying  back  and  forth, 
convulsively,  emitted  gusty  sighs  that  gradually 
grew  into  horrible  noises  as  leader  after  leader 
sprang  in  front  of  them  setting  the  pace  faster  and 
faster,  a  new  leader  taking  the  place  of  the  ex- 
hausted one  as  he  turned  and  bowed  to  the  Sheik, 
signifying  that  he  could  do  no  more.  All  this  time 
a  blind  Sheik  chanted  unceasingly  in  a  high  pic- 
colo voice. 

The  bodies  swayed  and  jerked  more  and  more 
quickly,  the  noises  grew  to  frenzied  howls  and  ani- 
mal-like sounds  that  reminded  one  forcibly  of  the 
Zoo  at  feeding  time.  A  tall,  gaunt  desert-priest 
stept  in  front  of  the  men,  bowing  and  swaying, 
his  long  hair  alternately  covering  his  face  and  be- 
ing tossed  back  over  his  shoulders. 

Under  his  leadership  the  dervishes  became  fran- 
tic; their  eyes  were  glazed,  foam  flew  from  their 
lips  and  some  fell  prone  from  exhaustion.  We 
stayed  to  see  no  more,  it  was  too  horrible,  and  hur- 
ried away,  followed  by  a  volume  of  inhuman  cries 
and  howls. 

After  leaving  this  nerve-racking  exhibition,  we 
301 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

found  ourselves  near  the  Citadel,  and  immediately 
drove  there  to  visit  the  historic  stronghold.  Situ- 
ated on  the  highest  point  in  Cairo,  it  overlook? 
the  entire  city  and  a  wonderful  panorama  beyond. 
From  here  we  caught  our  first  view  of  the  Nile, 
and  further  out  against  the  sky-line  the  pyramids 
of  Ghizeh  showed  softly  blue.  This  first  view  of 
the  historic  landmarks  was  so  fascinating  we  could 
hardly  take  our  attention  from  them  to  the  pyra- 
mids of  Sakkara  at  the  extreme  left,  the  city,  with 
its  many  graceful  domes  and  minarets,  the  tombs 
of  the  Califs  at  the  extreme  right,  and  behind  us 
the  quarries  of  Mokattam,  from  which  the  great 
blocks  of  stone  that  made  the  pyramids  were  taken. 

The  interest  of  the  Citadel  is  manifold.  From 
here  Saladin  issued  forth  to  do  battle  with  the  cru- 
saders. Here  St.  Louis  was  kept  a  prisoner;  Na- 
poleon lived  here  and  in  one  of  the  rooms  conferred 
with  Kleber.  Grim  old  Mehemet  Ali  held  it  next 
and  in  the  courtyard  slaughtered  the  four  hundred 
Mamelukes  who  had  been  bidden  to  a  feast.  Suc- 
cessive stronghold  of  Arab,  Turk,  Moslem,  French 
and  again  Arab,  it  has  at  length  become  a  garrison 
for  the  soldiers  of  England,  the  present  deus  ex 
machina  of  Egypt. 

Tho  there  is  an  old  mosque  within  the  enclo- 
sure, built  in  1366,  the  one  holding  the  greatest  in- 
terest now  is  that  which  contains  the  tomb  of  Me- 
hemet Ali.  The  interior  is  in  imitation  of  St. 
302 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

Sophia  at  Constantinople;  the  pillars  are  cased 
with  alabaster,  taken,  the  Arabs  say,  from  Solo- 
mon's Temple  at  Jerusalem,  but  that,  of  course,  is 
nonsense,  as  the  last  great  Temple  was  destroyed 
during  the  reign  of  Vespasian.  It  was  probably 
looted  from  somewhere,  however,  even  as  was  the 
stone  of  the  mosque  itself,  which  originally  formed 
the  outside  layer  of  the  great  pyramid  of  Cheops. 

The  tombs  of  the  Califs,  surrounded  by  innu- 
merable Arab  graves,  pale  in  interest  beside  the 
crowding  attractions  of  the  Citadel.  The  only  tomb 
of  special  interest  now  is  that  of  Tewfik  Pasha, 
father  of  the  present  Khedive.  It  is  a  modern 
building,  a  most  perfect  example  of  Saracenic  archi- 
tecture. In  this  is  the  tomb  of  the  widow  of  Ab- 
bas L,  who  was  a  rather  remarkable  old  lady  in 
many  ways.  Her  sepulcher  is  of  white  marble  of 
artistic  design,  made  after  the  Arab  pattern  of  a 
sarcophagus  with  a  small  tombstone  standing  up 
at  each  end.  As  for  Tewfik,  at  present  there  is 
only  a  large  wooden  casing  on  the  spot  where  his 
tomb  is  to  be,  over  which  is  a  cover  of  green  velvet 
embroidered  with  Arabic  inscriptions  in  gold. 

At  either  side  of  the  door,  in  little  railed-off 
niches,  are  two  sections  of  the  Sacred  Carpet, 
framed  under  glass  and  hung  on  the  wall.  From 
these  portions  it  may  be  seen  that  the  Sacred  Car- 
pet is  made  of  silk,  beautifully  embroidered  over 
its  whole  space  with  texts  from  the  Koran.  Every 
303 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

Friday,  after  his  visit  to  the  mosque,  the  young 
Khedive  comes  to  his  father's  tomb,  and  after  a 
short  prayer  and  meditation,  goes  into  the  courtyard 
where  are  gathered  hundreds  of  poor  people  and 
beggars.  To  each  of  these  he  distributes,  in  mem- 
ory of  his  father,  a  plate  of  cooked  vegetables,  a 
loaf  of  bread,  and  one  piaster. 

But  all  other  tombs  sink  into  insignificance  be- 
side those  gigantic  piles  of  stone,  the  pyramids. 
There  is  an  electric  tramway  that  goes  out  to  them 
now,  but  by  far  the  most  delightful  way  is  to  drive 
the  ten  miles  out  over  the  Nile  by  the  beautiful 
Kasr-i-nil  bridge  and  along  the  raised  road  (bor- 
dered by  splendid  acacia-trees)  that  was  built  by 
Ismail,  whose  extravagance,  by  the  way,  has  left 
some  worthy  monuments. 

For  a  long  way  before  reaching  the  pyramids  the 
outline  of  their  huge  bulk  looms  up,  holding  the 
attention  and  firing  the  imagination.  Directly  un- 
der their  shadow  is  the  Mena  Hotel,  an  attractive 
and  comfortable  house.  At  the  gates  the  donkey- 
and  camel-boys  wait  to  take  sightseers  around  the 
pyramids  and  over  the  sand  to  the  Sphinx. 

The  great  pyramid  of  Cheops  comes  first  and 
presents  the  gray  hugeness  of  its  side  to  the  ap- 
proaching visitor.  The  entrance  is  high  up  in 
the  front,  being  a  little  place  that  looks  like  a  rab- 
bit-burrow. Down  this  passage,  that  is  steep,  slip- 
pery and  suffocating,  the  Arabs  push  and  pull  the 
304 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

tourist  (who  has  the  nerve  to  go),  until  the  central 
chamber,  with  the  broken  stone  sarcophagus  of 
the  great  king,  is  reached.  The  generally  accepted 
thing  to  do  is  to  lie  down  in  the  now  empty  coffin, 
certainly  a  gruesome  thing  to  do,  and  to  my  mind 
impertinent. 

The  other  two  pyramids,  while  wonderful  in 
themselves,  are  rather  overlooked  in  the  presence 
of  the  mighty  Cheops.  There  are  the  remains  of 
two  others,  broken  down  and  despoiled — the  ruins 
of  which  went  to  build  palaces  and  mosques  in 
Cairo. 

The  attendant  spirits  of  the  pyramids  are  Bed- 
ouins, who  take  possession  of  the  sightseer,  talk- 
ing, screaming,  pushing,  and  generally  conducting 
themselves  like  wild  things.  They  offered  to  run 
up  one  side  of  the  Great  Pyramid  and  down  the 
other  in  eight  minutes  if  we  would  pay  them  two 
dollars. 

Others  sell  spurious  idols  and  scarabs,  thrusting 
their  wares  on  one  with  the  greatest  persistence. 
One  Arab  thrust  a  horrible  little  idol  at  me,  and 
when  I  said,  "It  doesn't  look  a  bit  like  you," 
the  vender  looked  surprised,  but  the  others,  who 
understood  English,  raised  a  laugh  at  his  expense. 

I  took  the  little  idol  and,  with  a  few  passes,  made 

it  disappear,  and  then  found  it  in  his  turban.    By 

this  time  there  was  a  breathless  and  eager  audience 

crowded  about  the  carriage,  and  for  ten  minutes  I 

305 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

did  tricks  with  coins  and  handkerchiefs  to  the 
ecstatic  joy  of  my  audience.  It  seemed  to  please 
them,  and  it  at  least  relieved  me  of  their  persistent 
importunities. 

Donkeys  carried  us  over  the  loose  sand  to  the 
Sphinx,  and  as  no  one's  description  had  prepared 
me  for  the  majesty,  the  self-contained  calm  of  that 
wonderful  creature,  I  am  not  going  to  attempt  a 
description,  where  other  and  better  men  have  failed. 

My  personal  impression  was  a  painful  sense  of 
my  own  insignificance,  the  tiny  span  of  a  little 
human  life  in  this  great  presence,  which  neverthe- 
less gives  the  impression  of  singular  gentleness. 
Despite  the  marring  of  the  countenance  and  the 
loss  of  the  nose,  there  are  still  a  depth  and  intensity 
of  expression  that  are  startling,  and  the  eyes  seem 
almost  to  follow  one.  The  mouth  remains  almost 
perfect,  just  the  beginning  of  a  smile  seeming  to 
tremble  at  the  corners.  With  this  same  expression 
it  has  been  gazing  out  across  the  centuries  as  if 
hiding  some  secret,  and  seeming  rather  to  enjoy  it. 
The  secret  is  probably  whether  the  Sphinx  is  a 
lady  or  gentleman,  a  question  that  is  still  debated. 

That  the  Sphinx  was  a  sun-god  there  is  no  doubt, 
for  the  remains  of  the  temple  are  at  one  side,  and 
between  the  paws  still  may  be  seen  the  altar  of 
black  stone,  at  which  Rameses  the  Great  prayed 
and  sacrificed,  that  the  god  would  take  away  the 
terrible  burning  sands. 

306 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

The  remains  of  a  woman's  breasts  seem  to  point 
toward  the  opposite  sex.  The  question  of  sex, 
however,  will  always  be  a  matter  of  conjecture. 
The  fact  that  the  secret  has  been  kept  so  long  per- 
haps indicates  that  after  all  the  Sphinx  is  not  a 
woman. 

An  interesting  excursion  is  to  go  across  the  sand 
on  camels  to  visit  the  pyramids  of  Sakkara,  which, 
while  they  do  not  compare  in  size  to  those  of  Ghi- 
zeh,  are  rich  in  frescos  and  carvings  in  the  sur- 
rounding tombs.  On  the  way  to  Sakkara.  one  sees 
a  few  forlorn  pillars  by  the  river,  all  that  remains 
of  the  once  splendid  Memphis,  oldest  city  of  the 
world. 

On  the  return  drive  from  the  pyramids  of  Ghizeh 
one  sees  the  Ghizereh  Palace,  which  is  now  a  hotel 
that  was  built  by  Ismail,  and  housed  the  goodly 
number  of  nine  hundred  women  whom  he  counted 
as  his  harem.  His  palaces  dot  the  city  as  do  those 
that  his  unbridled  extravance  built  and  presented 
to  other  people.  On  the  return  drive  one  will  also 
notice  a  most  perfect  golf-course  in  the  low  valley 
just  below  the  pyramids.  This  and  the  tramway 
offer  a  contrast  of  the  ages  that  is  truly  unique. 

The  villages  of  the  Bedouins  who  haunt  the  pyr- 
amids also  dot  this  fertile  plain.  They  own  most 
of  the  adjacent  land,  and  our  guide  informed  us 
are  very  well-to-do.  They  make  a  good  living  by 
acting  as  guides,  while  their  families  cultivate  the 
307 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

crops.  Their  most  notable  services  lie  in  keeping 
the  Sphinx  from  becoming  covered  by  the  drifting 
sands,  which  they  religiously  dig  away.  Of  course, 
it  is  to  their  interest  to  do  this,  but  one  can  not 
help  feeling  grateful  for  it. 

There  are  guides  and  guides,  and  the  chief  ac- 
complishment of  them  all  is  that  they  can  lie  in 
seven  different  languages.  This  applies  chiefly  to 
those  in  the  Orient.  At  the  Galleface  Hotel,  Co- 
lombo, the  manager  warned  us  that  he  would  not 
be  responsible  for  any  missing  luggage,  mail  or  tel- 
egrams, or  for  any  acts  of  omission  or  commission 
on  the  part  of  his  servants. 

"All  of  the  tribe  are  rascals,  thieves,  and  liars, 
and  having  warned  you,  I  have  done  my  duty!" 
But  we  did  not  suffer  from  a  fulfilment  of  any 
such  warning.  Barring  the  overcharge  at  the  gate 
of  entrance  to  the  hotel,  they  seemed  pleasant  fel- 
lows and  both  cheerful  and  obliging. 

An  Englishman,  who  engaged  a  servant  in  Cey- 
lon, said:  "He  wasn't  half -bad.  To  be  sure,  he 
asked  me  four  times  as  much  for  his  services  as  he 
had  ever  received  before,  but  I  engaged  him  on 
the  porter's  recommendation,  who  probably  was  a 
fellow  conspirator.  My  man  was  willing,  even  if 
he  was  lazy.  He  got  blind-drunk  only  once,  and 
limited  his  stealings  to  an  automatic  cigar-lighter, 
which  he  very  much  admired,  and  called  'Massa's 
fire-box.'" 

308 


Water-Sellers  The  Sphinx 

Rapid  Transit  in  the  Desert 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

Our  guide  at  Cairo  prided  himself  upon  his  Eng- 
lish. Seeing  a  cow  being  milked  on  the  street — the 
very  direct  method  practised  in  Cairo — we  stopt 
to  witness  the  operation.  "Ah!  de  cow!"  said  our 
guide,  ' '  dis  is  how  dey  do ;  always  dey  sell  de  milk 
on  de  cow,  for  fear  of  alteration ! " 

By  the  way,  the  guides  have  all  been  to  Chicago — 
that  is,  they  say  they  have.  "Oh,  yes!  I  haf  been 
to  America.  I  was  at  Chickago  Exposish — oh, 
yes!" 

But  if  all  the  guides  and  shopkeepers  who  said 
they  had  been  to  Chicago  really  had  been  there, 
the  Exposition  must  have  built  several  wings  and 
a  large  annex,  or  it  never  could  have  held  them. 

In  these  villages  may  be  seen  the  Egyptian  incu- 
bators that  have  performed  the  maternal  duties  of 
hens  for  centuries.  So  long  has  natural  incubation 
been  taken  away  from  Egyptian  hens  that  they 
have  quite  outgrown  the  desire  to  "set"  and  limit 
their  duties  to  only  the  laying  of  the  eggs. 

These  incubators  are  simple  in  the  extreme,  be- 
ing just  a  little  pen  of  bricks  made  from  Nile  mud, 
inside  of  which  the  eggs  are  put  on  the  warm  sand, 
and  being  tended  by  a  woman  or  an  old  Arab,  are 
turned  constantly  until  the  chicks  break  out.  Mil- 
lions of  eggs  a  year  are  hatched  in  Egypt  in  just 
this  way,  a  fashion,  it  is  said,  that  antedates  the 
pyramids  themselves. 

Opposite  the  Ghizereh  Palace  is  the  spot  where 
309 


SMILING  'ROUND  THE  WORLD 

Moses  was  found  in  the  bulrushes,  and  further  up, 
near  the  ruins  of  Memphis,  is  the  Island  of  Roda, 
and  the  ancient  Nilometer,  whose  records  of  the 
Nile's  rise  have  been  kept  for  a  thousand  years. 

If  it  is  near  sunset  when  you  return  along  the 
road  to  Cairo,  you  will  be  sure  to  meet  strings  of 
camels  marching  home  from  the  day's  work,  as 
cynical  and  deliberate  as  ever,  and  flocks  of  sheep 
and  goats  followed  by  the  shepherd  in  long  gown 
and  cloak,  his  staff  in  his  hand,  and  generally  car- 
rying a  lamb  or  a  kid  too  young  and  feeble  to  keep 
up  with  the  flock. 

Both  goats  and  cattle  are  milked  at  the  pur- 
chaser's door  in  Cairo,  such  direct  methods  admit- 
ting of  no  adulteration.  Generally  a  boy  accom- 
panies the  cow  with  a  stuffed  calf  under  his  arm. 
This  is  supposed  to  induce  the  cow  to  stand  more 
quietly  and  to  give  more  milk.  No  matter  how  old 
or  worn  out  the  calf  may  be,  how  stuffing  may  pro- 
trude from  yawning  rents,  the  cow  is  never  given 
credit  for  discrimination  enough  to  distinguish  be- 
tween this  monstrosity  and  her  own  calf,  or  to  be 
supposed  to  know  her  own  offspring.  It  struck  me 
that  the  cow  was  not  the  most  deceived  party,  and 
that  the  Arabs  who  conduct  this  farce  show  the 
wisdom  of  the  ostrich. 

Speaking  of  these  intelligent  birds  reminds  me 
of  the  ostrich  farm  we  visited  at  Metaryeh,  on  the 
edge  of  the  Libyan  desert.  We  drove  first  to  see 
310 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

Mary's  Well  and  tree,  under  which  the  Holy  Fam- 
ily rested  when  they  were  fleeing  into  Egypt.  The 
tree  is  an  ancient  sycamore,  only  a  withered  branch 
of  the  original  one  being  left.  The  well  is  singu- 
larly clear  and  sweet  for  that  country,  where  most 
wells  are  brackish.  The  legend  is  that  Mary  washed 
Jesus'  clothes  in  it,  and  since  then  it  has  been  dis- 
tinguished by  unusual  purity  and  coolness.  The 
ostrich  farm  was  rather  disappointing.  The  only 
thing  diverting  was  to  see  the  greedy  things  swal- 
low whole  oranges  at  one  gulp. 

The  object  of  greatest  interest  in  the  neighbor- 
hood is  the  obelisk  of  Heliopolis,  all  that  remains 
of  that  magnificent  City  of  the  Sun.  It  is  sixty- 
six  feet  tall,  the  smallest  of  the  trio  that  formerly 
graced  the  city.  Those  in  New  York  and  London 
are  the  two  others.  Taken  from  Heliopolis  to  Alex- 
andria by  either  Csesar  or  Cleopatra,  they  remained 
there  until  taken  away  during  the  reign  of  Ismail, 
the  prodigal,  who  was  as  careless  of  Egypt's  antiq- 
uities as  he  was  of  her  honor.  To  New  York  fell 
the  distinction  of  possessing  the  finest  of  all  these 
rifled  monuments  of  Egypt,  graven  as  it  is  with 
the  pictured  history  of  the  reigns  of  the  great 
Thothmes,  Seti,  father  of  Rameses  the  Great,  and 
the  first  Rameses. 

A  visit  to  the  museum  is  a  natural  consequence 
of  having  viewed  all  these  antiquities.  There  one 
may  see  all  that  remains  of  men  who  were  respon- 
311 


SMILING    'BOUND   THE   WORLD 

sible  for  them.  To  one  who  has  never  seen  an  un- 
wrapt  mummy  it  is  rather  a  startling  sight.  They 
are  so  ghastly,  and  yet  retain  the  semblance  of  life 
to  such  a  disconcerting  extent.  It  is  hard  to  realize 
their  great  antiquity,  when  one  sees  the  perfect 
features,  the  white  teeth  and  the  clustering  hair. 
A  strange  thing  about  the  hair  is  that  the  process 
of  mummifying  has  had  some  chemical  effect,  turn- 
ing it  a  peroxide  yellow,  that  looks  ridiculously 
frivolous  on  their  venerable  heads. 

Having  lasted,  heaven  knows  how  many  centu- 
ries, these  gentlemen  looked  as  tho  they  were  fixt 
for  all  time.  They  were  certainly  done  up  in  good 
shape:  no  mercerized  business,  but  the  real  thing. 
And,  as  I  stood  and  looked  at  them,  I  laughed  at 
the  recollection  of  Mark  Twain's  good  old  story, 
which  ought  to  be  new  to  this  generation,  of  the 
poor  old  colored  woman  who  fell  in  a  fit  on  the 
hot  stove  and  was  burned  to  death.  "Literally 
roasted  alive — our  poor  old  Betsy,"  said  her  em- 
ployer to  his  neighbor,  the  famous  humorist.  ' '  And 
now,  Mr.  Clemens,"  continued  the  gentleman,  "we 
feel  that  you  can  suggest  something  appropriate 
and  touching  to  put  on  her  tombstone — poor  old 
Betsy!  she  served  us  so  many  years — and  literally 
roasted  alive!" 

"Well,"  drawled  Mark,  "I  should  think  a  well- 
known  line  from  the  Scriptures  would  about  fit 
the  job :  '  Well  done,  good  and  faithful  servant ! '  ' 
312 


Public  Letter- Writer  The  Obelisk  at  Heliopolis 

Sleeping  in  the  Street 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

Rameses  the  Great  has  had  his  picture  taken  so 
often  that  his  features  were  fairly  familiar  to  us, 
with  his  high  Roman  nose  and  general  air  of 
haughty  superiority.  His  father,  Seti,  who  reposes 
in  the  next  case,  was  far  better-looking  to  our 
minds,  tho  none  of  the  mummies  would  be  specially 
remarked  for  beauty.  But  in  life,  Seti  must  have 
been  a  singularly  handsome  man,  with  a  noble  and 
commanding  presence.  The  other  Egyptian  antiq- 
uities of  every  sort  held  no  attractions  for  us  in 
comparison  with  the  mortal  shells  of  these  great 
ones  of  the  earth. 

In  Cairo  are  many  soldiers.  The  Egyptians  num- 
ber several  thousand,  while  there  is  a  large  garrison 
of  British  soldiers.  Enlistment  in  the  Egyptian 
army  is  compulsory  as  in  Germany.  A  young  man 
has  to  serve  five  years,  for  which  he  receives  one 
piaster  a  day.  This  method  of  supplying  the  army 
is  very  unpopular  among  the  people,  who  have  not 
the  martial  spirit  very  deeply  implanted  in  them. 
They  go  to  the  greatest  extremes  in  order  to  escape 
service.  They  have  been  known  to  blind  themselves 
in  one  eye  or  maim  themselves  in  some  way,  so  as 
to  be  disabled. 

Joining  the  university  is  the  most  painless  and, 
therefore,  most  popular  method  of  escaping  enlist- 
ment. This  university  is  probably  the  most  unique 
in  the  world,  and  undoubtedly  the  largest,  for  there 
is  a  roll  of  about  twelve  thousand  students.  They 
313 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

come  from  every  part  of  Asia  and  Africa,  or  wher- 
ever Mohammedans  are,  for  it  is  a  school  founded 
in  the  Moslem  faith.  The  building  is  known  as  the 
University  Mosque,  and  the  classes  are  held  in  the 
great  open  court  where  students  and  professors 
sit  on  the  floor,  all  talking  and  studying  aloud. 

A  good  many  of  the  professors  are  blind,  and 
each  teacher  has  his  particular  pillar  in  the  court, 
which  is  his  regular  station.  As  a  boy  is  advanced 
from  one  class  to  another  it  may  be  literally  said 
that  he  is  sent ' '  from  pillar  to  post. ' '  Students  pay 
no  tuition  fee,  as  it  is  a  free  school,  endowed  by 
bequests  from  wealthy  Moslems.  They  are  per- 
mitted to  sleep  on  the  premises  if  they  wish,  but 
must  supply  their  own  food. 

Professors  receive  no  money,  their  remuneration 
consisting  of  a  food  allowance,  out  of  which  they 
make  something,  for  some  of  them  are  given  as 
high  as  seven  hundred  loaves  of  bread  a  week, 
which  they  undoubtedly  sell  outside  or  to  students. 

Geography,  philosophy,  logic,  a  certain  amount 
of  history,  and  writing  in  the  beautiful  flowing 
Arabic  characters  are  taught,  but  the  principal 
study  is  the  Koran,  which  students  must  learn 
entirely  by  heart.  While  not  as  large  as  the  Chris- 
tian Bible,  it  is  a  good-sized  book,  comprizing  over 
a  hundred  chapters,  hence  it  is  quite  a  feat  to 
commit  it  all. 

Everything  is  taught  orally;  there  are  no  books, 
314 


CAIRO   OF   TO-DAY 

save  the  Koran,  and  paper  is  not  used,  save  for 
writing.  It  is  not  surprising  that  the  course  takes 
from  five  to  seven  years.  The  great  majority  of 
the  students  become  priests  or  teachers.  There  is 
no  such  thing  as  a  commercial  course  or  a  law 
school. 

The  law  is  a  complicated  affair  in  Cairo,  for 
every  legation  has  power  over  the  subjects  of  its 
country,  and  a  foreign  lawbreaker  can  be  tried  only 
by  the  representatives  of  his  own  country.  There 
is  a  mixed  court,  where  commissioners  of  the  dif- 
ferent countries -sit  with  the  Egyptian  justice. 

England  parades  her  military  power  constantly 
before  the  eyes  of  the  Egyptians,  compelling  the 
appointment  only  of  those  officials  that  are  friendly 
to  her  interests. 

Six  powers  have  their  hands  on  the  cash-box,  and 
no  appropriation  can  be  made  without  their  permis- 
sion. Turkey  as  suzerain  gets  several  million  dol- 
lars a  year  tribute.  The  Khedive  is  merely  a  fig- 
urehead, and  the  whole  country,  in  sorrow  and 
poverty,  pays  for  the  mad  extravagance  of  Ismail 
Pasha  and  his  legacy  of  a  debt  of  five  hundred 
million  dollars. 


315 


XXI 

NAPLES 

The  Famous  Bay — Beautiful  Shore-Line  to  Pompeii — Her- 
culaneum — We  Walk  on  the  Seething  Crust  of  Solfa- 
tara — Pozzuoli — Bairn  and  Its  Famous  Ruins — We 
Lunch  at  the  Little  Inn  and  Drink  the  Historic  Wine  of 
Posilipo — ' '  Spaghett ! ' ' — Agrippina  's  Villa  and  Her 
Cruel  Muider — The  Grotto  del  Cane — The  Neapolitan 
Puppy— I  Tell  Him  a  Story— "Shall  I  T'row  Heem 
in?" — The  American's  Unexpected  Eeply — The  Pink 
Coral  Grotto — How  the  Head  Bower  Tried  to  do  Us — 
The  Landlord's  Pathetic  Appeal— I  Call  My  Bluff— We 
Leave  Naples  with  a  Sense  of  Belief. 

THE  approach  to  Naples  should  never  be  oth- 
erwise than  by  the  sea.     To  slip  from  the 
blue   Mediterranean   into   her  lovely  bay, 
around  which  circle  historic  hill  and  peak,  moun- 
tain, castle  and  vine-clad  ruin,  is  a  delight  never  to 
be  forgotten. 

The  mountain  promontory  of  Sorrento  stretches 
landward,  a  dense  purple  mass ;  to  the  right,  lovely 
Capri  floats  upon  the  water's  bosom;  over  Ischia 
towers  volcanic  Epomeo,  reminder  of  the  destruc- 
tion of  twenty  years  ago;  the  whole  shore  is  one 
continuous  .chain  of  towns  linked  by  historic  asso- 
ciation and  medieval  romance. 
316 


NAPLES 

We  spent  five  days  at  Naples,  and  filled  every 
hour  of  it  with  sightseeing.  The  train  from  Na- 
ples to  Pompeii  follows  the  beautiful  shore-line 
closely,  and  lovely  glimpses  of  the  sea  are  to  be 
had  at  different  turns,  but  the  near-by  prospective 
can  not  strictly  be  called  inviting.  Tumble-down 
houses,  from  the  windows  of  which  lean  dirty 
women  and  children  with  unkempt  hair,  filled  the 
foreground,  while  long  rows  of  variously  colored 
garments  flapped  from  clothes-lines  overhead. 

Of  course  we  stopt  at  Herculaneum;  but  what 
can  I  add  to  the  tributes  that  have  been  paid 
to  that  wonder  of  wonders?  From  its  three  strata 
of  towns  have  been  exhumed  the  rarest  and  choicest 
treasures  that  adorn  the  Naples  Museum. 

We  walked  upon  the  crust  of  the  seething  volcano 
of  Solfatara,  now  half  extinct.  In  fact,  it  has  lain 
torpid  for  seven  centuries,  and  is  now  spread  with 
a  lush  vegetation  in  the  spring-time,  and  the  walk 
to  it,  at  that  season,  is  through  an  enclosure  like  a 
lovely  park  of  winding  alleys  and  flower-edged 
paths.  But  in  January  we  saw  only  the  bare  crust 
of  the  crater,  from  whose  clefts  came  puffs  of  white 
smoke,  warnings  that  at  any  moment  its  hidden 
fires  might  break  forth.  We  did  not,  as  at  Ha- 
waii, drop  our  visiting-cards  into  the  clefts,  only  to 
see  them  burst  into  flame  and  be  consumed  in  a  few 
seconds,  for  we  were  not  so  curious  about  subter- 
ranean matters  as  when  we  were  fresh  and  green 
317 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

in  globe-trotting  experiences;  but  we  ventured  out 
in  obedience  to  our  guide,  in  whom  a  long  familiar- 
ity with  craters  had  doubtless  bred  contempt,  to 
within  a  few  feet  of  the  center.  He  stamps  upon 
it  and  says  it  is  hollow.  It  certainly  appears  so. 
He  jumps  upon  it  and  the  surface  quivers.  You 
begin  to  feel  creepy  up  and  down  your  spinal 
column,  but,  led  on  by  his  urgent  appeals  and  as- 
sertions of  "no  fear!  not  be  'fraid!"  you  follow 
him  on  tiptoe  to  the  very  middle  of  the  rocking 
thing,  hoping  with  all  your  soul  that  it  will  hold 
together  until  you  are  safely  off  it,  when  you  come 
to  a  hole  out  of  which  curl  a  little  vapor  and  a 
curious  murmuring  sound  as  of  some  giant  mum- 
bling in  his  sleep. 

And  that  is  the  moment  in  which  you  wish  you 
hadn't  come.  But  you  are  induced  to  lean  over 
and  peer  down  into  the  hole,  and  are  fascinated 
by  the  stirring  and  moving  of  boiling  mud — horrid 
gray  mud  that  reminds  you  instantly  of  Kipling's 
"great,  gray,  greasy  Limpopo  river,"  only  this  is  a 
lake,  but  gray  and  greasy  enough  in  all  conscience, 
seething  and  boiling  in  the  vent-hole,  and  rising  and 
falling  with  the  escaping  gas  that  bubbles  and 
bursts,  and  then  collects  and  bursts  again.  A  mo- 
ment or  two  of  this  and  I  was  glad  to  speed  back 
to  the  solid  earth,  to  thank  my  stars  that  I  hadn't 
fallen  through  altogether. 

From  Solfatara  we  looked  down  upon  PozzuoH, 
318 


NAPLES 

once  a  port  of  Rome,  whose  wharves  resounded  with 
the  peaceful  stir  of  commerce. 

The  lovely  Bay  of  Baiae  that  was  once  lined  with 
the  palace-villas  of  wealthy  Eomans,  much  as  New- 
port's shore  is  to-day,  held  our  interest  for  a  couple 
of  hours.  We  explored  the  ruins  of  a  castle  built 
by  a  Spanish  viceroy,  which  stands  on  the  site  of 
Nero's  villa;  we  compared  it  for  beauty  to  the 
lonely  temple  of  Serapis  we  had  just  left  behind 
us  near  Pozzuoli,  long  buried  beneath  the  sea,  to 
be  at  last  cast  up  by  some  mighty  upheaval  of  un- 
seen internal  force.  The  beautiful  curved  shore, 
''so  beautiful  yet  so  deadly,"  from  the  wilderness 
of  craters  which  abound  there,  fascinated  us  com- 
pletely. We  lunched  at  a  little  inn  at  Baiae,  where 
we  had  some  of  the  famed  wine  of  Posilipo  and  were 
amused  by  the  importunities  of  the  peasant  beg- 
gars, who  very  successfully  wheedled  us  out  of  our 
spare  coppers  by  their  whines  and  wiles  galore. 

In  Egypt  it  was  "bakshish!"  in  our  ears  from 
morning  till  night;  throughout  Europe  cries  of 
"pourboire"  and  "Trinkgeld"  haunted  one's  foot- 
steps ;  but  ancient  little  Naples  had  a  word  all  her 
own.  It  was  ' '  Spaghett ! ' '  Simply  that,  and  noth- 
ing more.  No  last  syllable  with  crisp  accent;  but 
the  shortened  curt  "Spaghett!"  was  hurled  at  us 
from  every  corner  and  followed,  with  deafening 
echoes,  our  vanishing  carriage- wheels.  "Spa- 
ghett! Spaghett!"  Methinks  I  hear  it  now,  and 
319 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

I  shall  certainly  never  eat  spaghetti  again  without 
being  reminded  of  this  slogan  of  the  Neapolitan 
beggar. 

Beside  the  Lucrine  Lake  we  stood  and  conjured 
up  the  spot  where  the  villa  of  Agrippina,  mother 
of  Nero,  probably  stood;  but  the  thought  of  her 
cruel  murder  at  the  hands  of  her  monster  of  a  son 
did  not  mingle  pleasantly  with  the  peaceful  lap- 
ping of  the  waves  against  the  reeds,  so  we  turned 
away  and  asked  to  be  taken  to  the  Grotto  del  Cane, 
or  Dog  Grotto,  that  amazing  sepulcher  of  animal 
hopes  and  fears  which  year  by  year  has  drawn 
thousands  of  visitors  to  its  rocky  sides. 

As  if  in  keeping  with  its  treacherous  fame,  the 
guide  who  shows  you  the  place  is  a  full-fledged 
brigand  who,  ' '  when  work  is  slow, ' '  ekes  out  a  sub- 
sistence by  playing  at  guide.  Ten  to  one  he  has  a 
little  dog  at  his  heels  and  thereby  hangs  a  tale. 
While  you  listen  to  the  guide  the  puppy  looks  up 
at  you  with  blinking  eyes  and  a  grin  of  confidence, 
the  while  his  busy  tail  seems  to  say,  ' '  I  know  you  '11 
never  put  me  in  that  poisonous  hole,  will  you?" 
And  you  can't  keep  your  eyes  off  his  silly  little 
face,  until  you  find  yourself  wondering  if  he's  like 
your  little  dog  at  home,  your  far-away  "Buster," 
whose  friendly  face  and  welcome  bark  you  have 
missed  more  than  you  would  care  to  say.  Certainly, 
this  idiotic  little  pup  bears  no  outward  resem- 
blance to  your  far-away  "Buster."  But,  inwardly 
320 


NAPLES 

— how  about  that?  There  lies  a  story.  Shall  you 
tell  it  to  the  guide  ?  .  No,  he 's  a  brigand  and  might 
demand  a  ransom  for  permitting  you  to  live ;  for  no 
doubt  he'd  rather  kill  you  outright  than  have  you 
live  to  tell  another  story.  Hurrah!  now  you've 
got  it — happy  thought!  You'll  try  it  on  the  dog. 
Fixing  him  with  your  eye  you  begin : 

"The  fleas  bothered  my  dog  so,  I  concluded  I'd 
teach  'em  a  lesson  I  learned  long  ago  but  never 
put  in  practise.  I  sent  and  got  a  piece  of  liver 
and  put  it  near  the  dog.  The  fleas  all  hopped  on  to 
it  and  stuck.  Just  as  I  was  getting  ready  to  throw 
it  in  the  fire,  I  turned  my  back  for  a  moment  and 
the  dog  ate  the  liver,  fleas  and  all.  Now  he's  fleas 
lined." 

But  about  the  Dog  Grotto.  Well,  it's  filled  with 
carbonic-acid  gas,  and  for  generations  guides  have 
made  money  out  of  tourists  by  shoving  some  poor 
little  canine  into  the  cave  and  keeping  him  there 
until  his  legs  began  to  totter  and  his  head  to  whirl, 
when  they  would  haul  him  out  and  souse  him  in 
the  near-by  lake  until  he  revived;  and  revive  he 
must,  for  was  there  not  another  tourists'  carriage 
coming  down  the  hill?  But  sometimes  doggie 
didn't  revive.  Well,  he  was  only  a  dog,  and  there 
had  been  instances  where  men  had  perished  in  the 
foul-smelling  cave.  But  that  was  ages  ago.  There 
was  a  French  king  who  brought  a  donkey  to  the 
Grotto  and  tried  the  effect  of  the  gas  on  him.  The 
321 


SMILING    'ROUND    THE   WORLD 

animal  died.  But  why  the  king  tried  it  on  a  don- 
key I  don't  know,  unless  that  a  fellow-feeling  makes 
us — but  no,  I  won't.  Then  there  was  an  early 
Spanish  viceroy  who  wanted  to  decide  whether  the 
gas  was  in  prime  condition  or  not;  so  he  put  two 
of  his  slaves  in  the  cave  and  they  were  brought  out 
dead,  which  spoke  well  for  the  gas,  at  any  rate. 

Nowadays  the  question  as  to  the  virtue  of  the 
gas  is  more  humanely  settled.  The  guide  takes  a 
burning  torch  and  plunges  it  into  the  cave.  In- 
stantly it  goes  out.  But  if  the  act  is  repeated 
several  times,  the  gas,  impregnated  with  smoke, 
"assumes  the  appearance  of  a  silver  sea,  flowing  in 
rippling  waves  against  the  black  wall  of  the  cav- 
ern." A  good  story  is  told  of  the  guides  of  that 
region.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  they  are  wholly  un- 
reliable with  their  high-sounding  names  of  this 
broken  wall  or  that  defaced  inscription. 

It  is  said  that  they  keep  a  little  dog  which  they 
offer  up  as  a  sacrifice  on  the  altar  of  the  tourist's 
curiosity.  " Shall  I  throw  him  in?"  they  will  ask 
the  visitor;  and  if  he  be  of  a  humane  disposition, 
he  will  quickly  reply,  " Certainly  not!  what  d'  you 
think  I  am?"  And  the  guide  will  say — making  a 
shrewd  guess — "I  teenk  you  are  American.  Eng- 
lees  he  say,  'Yaas,  bah  Jove,  t'row  leetle  beggar 
een!'" 

But  once  there  came  along  an  American,  whom 
the  guide  took  to  be  English,  and  when  he  asked, 
322 


NAPLES 

"Shall  I  t'row  leetle  beggar  een?"  the  American 
replied,  "If  you  do,  I'll  throw  your  d d  car- 
cass in  after  him ! ' ' 

The  thing  to  do  while  at  Naples  is  to  go  to  the 
pink  coral  grotto;  so  to  the  pink  coral  grotto  we 
went.  It  lies  between  the  Bay  of  Pozzuoli  and  that 
special  little  bay  where  Pliny  kept  his  navy.  We 
went  out  in  a  boat  with  four  rowers,  the  chief 
of  whom  gave  us  large  bunches  of  taffy  about 
our  country — "beeyuteeful  America,"  "fine  New 
York, "  etc. — he  had  traveled,  oh,  yes !  he  had  been 
to  Jib-later  (Gibraltar)  and  to  America — "beeyu- 
teeful  country!"  etc.,  until  it  came  time  to  return, 
when  the  fellow  demanded  that  we  pay  them  a 
franc  each  then  and  there,  instead  of  the  equiva- 
lent of  ten  cents  each  on  the  return  to  the  shore. 
Upon  refusal,  he  worked  himself  up  into  a  hys- 
terical sort  of  paroxysm  and  shrieked,  "No!  not 
shore !  in  de  boat !  in  de  boat ! ' '  But  my  American 
nerve  rose  to  the  occasion  and  I  flatly  refused, 
notwithstanding  that  the  situation  began  to  get 
strained. 

Sulkily  he  gave  in,  and  uttered  the  command 
to  return  to  land,  and  slowly  we  were  propelled — 
so  slowly,  indeed,  that  I  had  serious  misgivings  that 
we  were  to  spend  the  night  upon  the  darkening 
sea;  while  the  muttered  abuse  of  our  country — 
"Vile  country — people  villains — dirty  New  York 
— America  all  thieves!" — made  me  long  to  knock 
323 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

the  rascal  overboard  and  have  done  with  him. 
However,  as  we  approached  the  shore  they  became 
more  civil,  and,  as  we  alighted — glad  to  be  back 
with  a  whole  skin! — they  bowed  and  scraped,  cap 
in  hand,  begging  for  a  settlement  at  once.  But 
no,  the  game  was  now  in  my  hand,  and  marching 
up  to  the  hotel  I  demanded  of  the  manager  how 
it  was  that  he  sent  his  guests  out  with  a  parcel  of 
rascals  and  extortionists,  terrifying  hapless  for- 
eigners and  indulging  in  foul  abuse  of  their  coun- 
try, etc.,  etc.  He  rolled  his  eyes  to  heaven  and 
protested  that  he  knew  nothing  of  such  methods; 
they  were  honest  fellows,  and  hard-working,  and, 
by  the  Madonna  and  all  the  saints!  he  had  no 
knowledge  of  such  iniquities ;  it  was  incredible — im- 
possible! etc.,  etc. 

"Here!"  said  I,  "here  is  your  money,  accord- 
ing to  the  agreement  I  made  with  you.  I  will  pay 
no  extra  extortion  nor  be  terrified  into  doing  so. 
And,  furthermore,  for  the  protection  of  my  coun- 
trymen, I  will  publish  far  and  wide,  I  will  print 
in  every  newspaper  of  America  the  name  of 
your  hotel,  and  the  rascally  doings  of  your 
employees — 

I  got  no  further,  for  the  fellow,  with  a  howl  of 
anguish,  fell  upon  his  knees  and  with  clasped  hands 
implored  me  not  to  "put  it  in  de  paper — not  to 
ruin  heem! — hees  famlee,  dey  starve!  do  not  put 
in  de  paper!" 

324 


Seeing  Pompeii 


A  Policeman  of  Naples 


Eating  Spaghetti 


NAPLES 

Suppressing  the  laughter  which  his  ridiculous 
terror  evoked,  I  consented  to  relent  and  peace  was 
restored.  When  we  entered  our  carriage  the  row- 
ers were  waiting,  cap  in  hand,  quite  civil  and  in- 
gratiating— but  I  ignored  them  completely,  and  we 
drove  off  followed  by  a  storm  of  curses  and  male- 
dictions hurled  at  the  American  whom  they  found 
they  couldn't  bluff. 


325 


XXII 
GIBRALTAR 

First  View  Disappointing — Adequate  Armament — Every- 
thing Truly  English — We  Drive  About  and  Make  Some 
Purchases — Tommy  Atkins  Shows  Us  the  Gates — Beau- 
tiful Flowers  Blooming  Everywhere — British  Domina- 
tion Apparent — Will  England  Ever  Restore  the  Rockf 
— Her  Rule  in  Egypt  Greatly  Beneficial — Possession 
Nine  Points  of  the  Law — Homeward  Bound — We  Em- 
bark for  America — Passing  Through  the  Azores — Real 
Paradises — We  Sight  Fayal — Temperature  Becomes 
Cooler — I  Put  on  Two  Overcoats — Can  Almost  Smell 
Broadway — The  Narrows — The  Goddess  Waves  Her 
Torch  at  Us — We  Sweep  Up  to  the  Dock — Smiling 
Faces  and  Outstretched  Hands — Dear  Old  New  York — 
Glorious  America — Beloved  Home! 

A  FEW  hours  on  the  famous  rock  were  all 
we  seemed  to  care  for.     Bright  sunshine 
lit  up  the  smooth  waters  of  Gibraltar  Bay 
as  we  sailed  into  it  and  cast  anchor.     The  first 
view  of  the  great  fortress  is  disappointing;  one 
small  cannot  at  the  signal-station  conveys  no  im- 
pression of  a  great  fortress.     A  garrison  of  7,000 
men,  however,  requires  a  heavy  armament,  as  we 
soon  found  was  here  the  case,  upon  landing,  and 
326 


GIBRALTAR 

to  count  the  number  of  guns  in  position  would 
have  been  a  rather  tiresome  task. 

Everything  is  truly  English  at  the  rock.  The 
British  atmosphere  pervades  everything,  and  a  pop- 
ulation of  20,000  civilians  makes  a  lively  town.  We 
drove  about  in  a  small  carriage  something  like  a 
gharry,  going  among  the  shops,  making  some  pur- 
chases of  Moorish  curios,  and  inspecting  the  masked 
batteries.  Of  course,  Tommy  Atkins  is  everywhere 
in  evidence.  One  politely  showed  us  the  Moorish 
and  Spanish  Gates,  the  rich  carvings  of  which  were 
very  beautiful.  We  also  admired  the  profusion 
of  gladioli  and  japonicas  that  were  blooming  every- 
where. 

My  idea  of  the  Strait  was  that  of  a  body  of  wa- 
ter of  considerable  size.  What  was  my  amazement 
to 'find  it  looking  almost  narrow  enough  to  jump 
across.  Of  course,  this  is  hyperbole;  but,  really 
and  truly,  it  is  small  wonder  the  Moors  got  across 
and  swarmed  all  over  Spain. 

British  domination  is  apparent  everywhere;  and 
its  foes  can  not  build  much  hope  for  expecting  any 
radical  change  of  program  in  any  dominion  where 
British  "occupation"  has  been  an  established  fact 
for  years. 

Greatly  to  my  surprise  and,  I  may  add,  amuse- 
ment, we  were  told  that  to  this  day  there  is  a  smol- 
dering expectation  in  Spain  as  to  when  England 
will  restore  to  their  government  the  famous 
327 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

rock;  and  that  for  over  a  century  there  has  been 
regularly  appointed  from  Madrid  a  grandee  to  the 
governorship  of  the  big  promontory  that  holds  for 
the  British  the  control  of  the  Mediterranean.  The 
restoration  of  Gibraltar  to  Spain  is  as  unlikely  as 
the  departure  of  the  English  from  Egypt.  This 
is  doubtless  as  undeniable  as  that  other  statement 
to  the  effect  that  England's  capacity  for  conduct- 
ing colonies  and  rehabilitating  run-down  countries 
amounts  almost  to  genius.  And  it  can  not  be  de- 
nied that  her  rule  in  Egypt  has  materially  bene- 
fited that  people.  As  to  Gibraltar,  of  course,  the 
old  saying  that  possession  is  nine  points  of  the  law 
holds  good  as  to  that  stronghold  and  England's 
firm  grasp  upon  it. 

But  our  few  hours  were  drawing  to  a  close ;  and, 
rather  reluctantly,  we  prepared  to  embark  upon 
the  good  ship  that  was  to  bear  us  away  from  our 
last  look  upon  European  shores — for  pleasant  in- 
deed had  been  our  sojourn  in  the  land  of  the 
stranger. 

As  Gibraltar  vanished  in  our  wake,  the  throb- 
bing of  the  engines  made  the  sweetest  kind  of 
music  in  our  ears,  for  were  we  not  homeward 
bound  ? 

The  usual  experiences  of  a  sea-trip  were  ours; 
life  aboard  ship,  after  one  had  had  a  six  months' 
turn  at  it  by  intervals,  becomes  like  a  lesson  learned 
long  ago. 

328 


GIBRALTAR 

In  the  Azores  we  saw  heavenly-looking  places, 
real  paradises,  beautifully  green  and  pictur- 
esquely mountainous,  down  which  long  waterfalls, 
veiled  in  silver  mist,  plunged  noiselessly.  We  passed 
so  near  it  almost  seemed  that  we  could  put  out  our 
hand  and  touch  the  lovely  shores ;  and  we  were  also 
in  sight  of  Fayal. 

Gradually  the  temperature  cooled  and  it  became 
cold,  not  to  say  icy.  Sitting  on  deck  was  no  longer 
a  pleasure.  After  the  stifling  heat  of  Singapore 
and  Ceylon,  the  summer  warmth  of  Cairo  and  Na- 
ples, even  the  breezy  balminess  of  Gibraltar,  we 
seemed  to  be  entering  the  arctic  zone.  But,  never 
mind,  it  was  the  Atlantic ;  it  was  New  York- ward ; 
it  was  Home. 

Leaning  over  the  rail  in  a  piercing  February  at- 
mosphere, even  tho  encased  in  two  overcoats,  I  felt 
that  nothing  could  dampen  the  ardor  of  that 
home-coming.  My  heart  thumped  joyously  in 
unison  with  the  engines.  I  could  almost  smell 
Broadway. 

We  passed  the  Narrows;  we  neared  the  Liberty 
Goddess,  and  I  could  have  sworn  she  waved  her 
torch  at  us;  we  steamed  up  the  bay — ah!  talk  of 
Naples,  of  Manila,  of  Genoa,  or  any  of  the  rest  of 
them !  There  are  bays  and  bays,  but  this — this  was 
our  very  own !  We  loved  it,  we  gloried  in  it !  No 
landing  in  a  sampan,  or  a  dugout,  or  any  other 
329 


SMILING    'ROUND   THE   WORLD 

kind  of  a  throw-out;  but  a  royal  sweep  up  to  the 
side  of  the  great  pier  lined  with  smiling  faces  and 
outstretched  hands. 

Dear  old  New  York!  glorious  America!  beloved 
Home! 


THE    END 


330 


BY  MARSHALL  P.  WILDER 


THE  SUNNY  SIDE 
OF  THE  STREET 


Mr.  Wilder1  s   Own  Introduction  : 

In  this  little  volume  are  offered  recollections  of  the  sunny 
side  of  many  people.  I  have  plucked  the  blossoms  from 
the  gardens  of  humor  and  pathos,  which  lie  side  by  side, 
and  in  weaving  them  into  a  garland,  claim  only  as  my 
own  the  string  that  binds  them  together. 


A  BOOK  brimful  of  sparkling  effervescent  humor 
and  the  most  genuine  entertainment.  All  his 
wealth  of  acquaintances,  experiences,  art,  and 
characteristics  he  has  utilized  in  this  mirth-provoking 
book.  It  is  wonderfully  rich  in  personalia — a  con- 
tinuous series  of  anecdotes  and  observations,  largely 
humorous,  some  pathetic.  Mr.  Wilder  himself  says  : 
««I  live  on  the  sunny  side  of  the  street  ;  shady  folks 
live  on  the  other  side.  I  always  preferred  the  sun- 
shine and  have  tried  to  put  other  people  there.  As 
'  birds  of  a  feather  flock  together, '  it  has  been  my  good 
fortune  to  meet  thousands  of  other  people  on  the  sunny 
side  of  the  street.  In  this  volume  I  have  endeavored 
to  distribute  some  of  the  sunshine  these  fine  fellows  un- 
loaded on  me." 

Have  you  ever  laughed  with  Marshall  P.  Wilder  ? 
If  you  have  you  will  be  the  first  to  get  a  copy  of  his 
new  book  of  fun  and  reminiscence.  If  you  haven't  then 
you  can  not  imagine  the  treats  in  store  for  you  when  you 
open  its  pages.  It  is  just  bubbling  over  with  wit  and 
things  bright,  happy  and  entertaining.  It  is  a  book  to 
drive  all  care  and  worry  to  the  winds  ;  every  line  is 
true  to  its  title. 


"THE  SUNNY  SIDE  OF  THE  STREET" 


MARSHALL    P.  WILDER — 

"  THE    PRINCE  OF    ENTERTAINERS  " 

PRESIDENT  THEODORE  ROOSEVELT  : 

"Mr.  Wilder's  stories  were  excellent." 
H.  M.  KING  EDWARD  VII. : 

"A  very  clever  little  gentleman." 
H.  M.  QUEEN  ALEXANDRA: 

"His  stories  were  so  bright." 
EX-PRESIDENT  GROVER  CLEVELAND: 

"The  prince  of  entertainers." 
The  HON.  CHAUNCEY  M.  DEPEW  : 

"His  mirth  is  contagious." 
MADAME  ADELINA  PATTI: 

"I  am  always  delighted  to  hear  Mr.  Wilder." 
MADAME  BERNHARDT: 

"Marshall  P.  Wilder  is  an  artist." 
THOMAS  A.  EDISON  : 

"No  one  has  had  a  greater  success." 
HENRY  FOLGER: 

"Brevity  is  the  soul  of  wit;  you  are  it." 


The  Late  VICE-PRES.  BENJAMIN  HARRISON  : 

"Mr.  Wilder  has  a  wonderful  talent." 
The  Late  Rt.  HON.  W.  E.  GLADSTONE,  M.P. : 

"He  is  the  soul  of  humor." 
The  Late  GENERAL  U.  S.  GRANT: 

"He  is  a  real  genius." 
The  Late  GENERAL  W.  T.  SHERMAN: 

"He  makes  the  world  brighter." 
The  Late  SIG.  SALVINI  : 

"He  is  a  most  clever  mimic." 
The  Late  SIR  HENRY  IRVING: 

"He  is  a  wonderful  student  of  character." 
The  Late  JOSEPH  JEFFERSON  : 

"A  capital  imitation  of  me  as  'Rip.'  " 
The  Late  SIR  HENRY  M.  STANLEY: 

"There  is  rare  tonic  to  his  wit." 
The  Late  SIR  ARTHUR  SULLIVAN  : 

"He  keeps  the  world  smiling." 
The  Late  HENRY  WARD  BEECHER: 

"There  is  sunshine  in  his  presence." 


"THE  SUNNY  SIDE  OF  THE  STREET" 


"  LAUGH  AND  THE   WORLD 
LAUGHS  WITH  You  " 

can  be  truly  said  of  Marshall  P.  Wilder,  the  captiva- 
ting entertainer  of  Presidents,  Kings,  Princes  and  the 
great  public.  As  the  Hon.  Chauncey  M.  Depew 
says,  "His  mirth  is  contagious,"  and  as  the  Hon. 
Henry  Labouchere  remarked,  "  He  makes  melancholy 
fly  apace."  You'll  find  laughs  bubbling  all  through 
this  new  book. 

"  MIRTH  is  MEDICINE  AND 
LAUGHTER  LENGTHENS  LIFE" 

If  this  be  true  (and  few  will  gainsay  it),  then  all 
who  read  this  lightsome  volume  should  live  to  a  healthy, 
happy  old  age,  for  here  is  a  book  bubbling  over  with 
real  spontaneous  humor  from  one  of  the  world's  born 
fun-makers,  and  with  many  a  bit  of  wit  from  other 
inimitable  merry-makers. 

LAUGHING   WITH   EMINENT   MEN 

In  its  irresistible  pages  you  will  find  a  wealth  of  in- 
teresting personalia  about  prominent  men  the  author  has 
known,  including  King  Edward,  President  McKinley, 
Henry  Ward  Beecher,  Joseph  Jefferson,  Chauncey  M. 
Depew,  John  D.  Rockefeller,  Cornelius  Vanderbilt, 
General  Sherman,  and  scores  of  others. 

The  San  Francisco  Chronicle  says: — "There  are 
bright  little  stories  about  each  of  them,  stories  that  are 
unfailingly  free  from  any  bitter  taint.  Mr.  Wilder  has 
enjoyed  the  friendship  of  many  distinguished,  not  to  say 
great  men  and  women,  and  he  has  used  their  friendship 
without  abusing  it." 


"THE  SUNNY  SIDE  OF  THE  STREET" 

A  BOOK  WITH  A  LAUGH  ON 
ALMOST  EVERY  PAGE 

"  There's  a  laugh  on  almost  every  page  of  the  book. 
Indeed,  it  starts  right  in  before  one  has  looked  any 
further  than  the  cover,  and  it  couldn't  very  well  begin 
much  sooner." — Newark  (My.)  Daily  Advertiser. 

A  SURE  DISPELLER  OF 
"THE  BLUES" 


It  is  a  sure  dispeller  of  the  blues  for  it  takes  the  misan- 
thropic reader  along  '  the  sunny  side  of  the  street,'  and 
shows  him  the  sunny  side  of  persons  and  things." — 
Lewiston  (  Me. )  Evening  Journal. 

BETTER  THAN  FIFTY-TWO 
SUNDAYS  OF  SERMONS 

"If  you  wish  to  be  pleasantly  entertained  for  many 
an  idle  half-hour,  this  '  The  Sunny  Side  of  the  Street ' 
will  well  repay  its  purchase.  And  if  you  can  read  be- 
tween the  lines  and  see  the  pathos  of  the  whole  thing, 
the  bravery  and  optimism  of  the  little  man,  you  will 
find  it  better  for  your  soul  than  a  library  of  tracts  or  a 
fifty-two  Sunday  sitting  under  a  fashionable  preacher." 
—  Cleveland  Plain-Dealer. 

MAKES   CARES   DISAPPEAR 

"  LIKE  SHIPS  IN  THE  NIGHT  " 

"  It  is  brimful  of  good  humor  and  in  its  reading  cares 
disappear  '  like  ships  in  the  night.'  If  you  want  a  few 
hours  to  glide  by  with  fond  recollections  of  one  who 
has  made  you  laugh  even  in  spite  of  yourself,  read 
Marshall  P.  Wilder's  'Sunny  Side  of  the  Street.'  "— 
Temple  Messenger,  Hot  Springs,  Ark. 


A    001  368919    5 


"THE  SUNNY  SIDE  OF  THE  STREET" 


"OPENS  ONE'S  EYES  TO 


T      TT*1 


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